very long very violent tantrums with 3yr old son

[peanutzmommy1211]

My 3 yr old has epilepsy and is in 2 different meds which the doctor tells me should not cause his tantrums( i have my doubts to a point about that). He loses his temper at the smallest things and can change his mood in a heartbeat. His tantrums usually last nothing under 30 mins most times longer. He gets very violent witb everyone and everything (broke bathroom door right off hinges during fit)around him. He also gets very self violent(head banging on floors and walls,biting self,hittingself) we have tried everything we can think of or ideas that have been given to us to control these nothing works. These happen several times a day everyday. Im at a loss of what to do im afraid he is going to seriously injure himself or his 16 month old brother.

[adgal]

Hi there.  My mother and my aunt are both Grand Mal Epileptic, and honestly, it typically does not cause out of control or violent behavior.  My mother has been on medication most of her life, and this too has never caused any kind of outbursts.  So I have to wonder if the two are not related?

Some of what you say is very typical 3 year old behavior, especially if your feeling overwhelmed.  And having a 3 year old myself, I know it can be tough...this is a great age, but a tough one as well (I often say that whomever coined the term terrible two's never had a 3 year old..lol).

I recommend the book Love and Logic.  It is well worth reading and the discipline techniques there really really work.  Perhaps you may also want to speak to a Dr. and have him assessed.  Just because it isn't the Epilepsy causing this doesn't mean something else isn't going on with him that may need interventions.  All the best to you.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi Pean and sorry your going through this. My nephew was exactly like this at his age and now his 21 and is doing much better. My sister just kept bringing him to different doctors until the correct diagnosis and best meds were found. It was a slow process and nearly tore the family apart.
You might want to change or adjust the way you interact and the things you say  to him as sometimes logic and understanding can help somewhat. Sometimes children will sense from the parent how to get what they want by the way the parents interact with them.
When he looses his temper, tune into what and why it bothered him. Was he like his prior to your new born?