I don't know anyone that has tired this so I can't say if it works or not- It's from the book parent talk Dr kevin Leman and Randy Colson ? I think are the authors- they say for this age- if you think child is just being defiant- tell them they have to deal with it- It's not "your pants" and their suggestion is that the logical consequence is after the first dry pants of the day- that's it- DO NOT leave them in wet or dirty pants- They wet- they come inside from playing or home from school or whatever their plans were for the day- take a shower put on a robe, and their day is over.... if they wet after that just say clean it up and get a shower again- they aren't busy playing- or watching tv so all they have time to think about is tinkle time I guess? Anyways I have no clue if it works. But it is only for defiant children.
It could be she doesn't take enough breaks at school during the day. It could be that she has a tiny bladder and doesn't want to draw attention to herself at school to ask "to be dismissed". It could be stress.
I sure hate to punish for accidents though and i am sure it is hard on you- but you could show her how to use a washer and dryer.
I decided to comment here - even though it's an old post - because I read this post when I was at my wits end a couple of months ago. And quite a few others like it. And even though it's always good to know that your child isn't the only one with the problem, usually noone updates these posts when the problem is fixed or goes away. So when you're desperate for answers, all you can find is endless stories of people in the same position saying they don't know what to do either!
My daughter is 5 years 10 months and has been wetting herself pretty much daily for close to 7 months now. She was better at home than at school, but that was only because it took too long to get permission to go at school and rules like "sit cross legged when listening to the teacher" and "no running in the corridors" weren't helping her either.
She also went through 2 periods of soiling herself very regularly which was just utterly heartbreaking for me.
I just came from the paediatrician and everything makes sense now. This is the summary of the diagnosis:
She has an overactive bladder. It means the bladder capacity is smaller than usual and the bladder doesn't relax properly. It is not known what causes this but quite common, especially in girls at this age. It can be tested by keeping a diary of fluid-intake and pee-volume for a couple of days. This will show if they have a unusually small bladder capacity.
There is a treatment too! They can give bladder relaxants - don't have the prescription yet - that will allow the bladder to relax and increase it's volume. These are harmless to use as the bladder muscle is unique in its kind and can therefor easily be targetted.
Constipation and faecal impactation make the issue worse also and can result in soiling if it goes on for too long. Unless the child has an unusual diet, these are usually caused by the child getting into the habit of holding on too long and ignoring the brain telling them they have to poo. If they do this often and consistently, the brain will start ignoring the signals, the bowel will fill up with poo and stretch and poo will leak out without the child even being aware. The full bowel also puts pressure on the bladder which makes the symptoms of the overactive bladder worse. This needs to be treated with stool softeners, which are also harmless to use long-term. Usually keeping the stools soft for 3 months will fix this problem.
So don't despair, don't give up. This is rarely a purely psychological problem and there is a solution.
I will update this post again when we have completed the treatment.
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