what can i do about 5 yr old pooping on self everyday sometimes 4_5xs a day?

my 5 year old daughter very consistantly poops on herself. She does so on a very regular basis.She will do it at home,stores,friends houses and s not the least bit embarrased.I however am humiliated.If  am busy w/household chores and do not 'notice' right away it does not seem to bother her to have the bowel movement on her.Iam at a lose, what can i do?


This discussion is related to 5 YEAR OLD POOPING IN PANTS.

[chapmanmum]

Just wondering if you have come up with any answers? I see you post was a little while ago. Im in the same position with my 3.5 year old son. He can poop his underwear up to 10 times a day without caring. I refuse to put him into a pull up as he will then just wee in it and he will always wee in the toilet. At the moment Im giving him daily stool softener but he still doesnt do one or two regular poops a day its always a lot more. Im now getting very depressed over this and am too scared to leave the house because I know he will poop himself not just once but more, Taking him to doc today to get him looked over to make sure its not medical. Im in desperate need of some help. Hope to hear back from you.

[hbmjr]

I am relieved to see that others are going through what I am.  Our son turns five tomorrow and will be wearing a pull-up to pre-school, much to his humiliation.  We are absolutely at the end of our ropes.  We have tried punishing, not punishing, yelling, not yelling, coaxing, pleading... everything.

He has always had a great aversion to pooping and has consistently resisted the potty since he got out of diapers over a year ago.  (Paging Dr. Freud!)  Peeing isn't too much of a problem, but pooping?  Out of control.  This week alone I think we have thrown away six or seven pair of underwear.  We aren't talking just a tiny bit of poo, but a complete bowel movement.  No way it just snuck out against his will.

Unlike some of the other children mentioned in these posts, our son doesn't have a problem with constipation that would explain his behavior.  He just really doesn't want to poo... ever again.  He has lost privileges, gotten in trouble, felt bad, the whole thing.  Nothing matters to him.  He'd rather poop in his pants and face the consequences than just take himself to the toilet.

Occasionally I see him needing to go and bribe him with something if he'll go without an argument.  At these times he has no trouble going and it takes about 10 seconds.   No pain, no constipation or diarrhea, nothing.  He just doesn't want to go.  We have no idea what to do. Our daughter, who is now seven, never pooped in her pants once.  She just decided one day around three years old that she didn't need diapers anymore.  End of story.   I'm considering taking him to a child psychologist since the whole deal is definitely in his head as opposed to his GI tract.

Please let me know if you've found any answers.  Good luck.

[rileysmomOH]

Please please please check into Encopresis.   Google it!   There is so much information out there on it.   My daughter went through this for over a year at age 4.  It was maddening.   Ped. kept telling me to make a poop chart!   Oh how that didn't work.   No amount of punishments, yelling, rewards.....nothing worked.   I immediatley called another Ped who knew about Encopresis (I checked with the nurse before I would schedule an appt.) and got in right away.  After exrays, we found my daughter was full up to her chin with poop!   Yes, they poop 10 times a day ladies, but it is just enough for them to get alittle relief.   Again, read up on it because I could go on and on!  We did a major clean  with MoM and stool softner.   She is almost 7 now and  is still on the softner and probably will be for a long time.   Most kids with this don't get "curred". Things can spark set backs, but don't get discouraged.   You will become a pro at how to handle the set backs.   You will see it coming on and catch it right away.  TGood luck!   I am pulling for you guys because I have been there.

[chapmanmum]

He did it!!!! My son pooped on the potty all on his own, and my god it was a BIG one. I thought this day would never come. I had given him an enema the day before and he managed somehow to hold it back and let nothing go, unbelievable. Today I decided to take a step right back and instead of making use the big toilet which he has no problem weeing in, and pull back out the potty. Also I went to the library and got him a book with a little boy that uses the potty that he found very interesting. I could tell for about an hour he needed to go but he kept puting it off then.. I noticed he picked up the potty and went to his room and closed the door ajar. I sneaked up the hall and peeked at what he was doing and he was on the potty doing a poo. I still cant belive it, he then came running out of his room so proud of what he had done and I tell you he was the most spoiled child for the rest of the day. I just hope that he will keep doing his poop on the potty and then take the next step to the toilet but hey anything beats the poop in the underwear, I even took a photo of him and his poop in his potty so he will remember that he did it,probably a bit silly but it will remind me that he has done it if he chooses to never do it again ( I hope not). He starts kinder in a couple of days and I was even thinking of not sending him this year but hopefully this will put my mind to rest, anyway just wanting to share my story he just did it on his own like everyone told me he would do and taking that step back helped he is still on the daily stool softner and I think he definately needs it. Best of luck !

[RockRose]

chapmanmum,  great news.  I think he's done pooping in his pants.  I know rileysmom posted about encopresis,  and I've been preaching about it for years,  literally.   For some reason doctors seem unable to grasp this and parents often reject this notion that there is a blockage,  and if you remove the blockage,  this will be solved.

Great that you and especially he,  solved it.   On with life.  

[rileysmomOH]

Yeah that he pooped!!!   I know that feeling of relief however please don't get discouraged if he starts the cycle all over again.   He shouldn't as long as you keep that poop soft.  Just keep an eye on him (not as if you won't).  I went through all of this with my daughter......including taking the photo of the very large poop with her next to the potty chair.  She would by some dumb luck poop on the potty and I would be so excited.   The very next day, she was back to smearing in her pants again......5-10 times a day everyday!   I don't want to sound negative, I just want you to be prepared that you may not be out of the woods yet.  

Here is another problem with enco.   Once kids start withholding, they forget how to push.   I actually had to retrain my daughter on how to push.   She became the MASTER of withholding.   I had to put her on the potty after each meal and have her try to blow up a balloon using her belly muscles and not her cheeks.  

Good luck and I will be thinking good thoughts for you!!!!

rileysmomOH

[chapmanmum]

Thanks so much for your help on this, we will see how he goes now I will let you know. I really do appreciate you both posting back to me.

[Poppea]

Me too. My 5 year-old son has been both peeing & pooping in his underwear after being totally trained for 1+ years. My question is, if a kid has this Encopresis, do they never ever have normal BMs & would the BMs always be too hard/soft? I mean, when he does go in the toilet it looks 'normal', I mean what a normal poop should look like, one long piece not to hard/soft. Sorry to get so descriptively graphic here..
When I ask him why he has accidents he says "I was having too much fun" so I figure he is just putting off having to go to the toilet until later when he is done playing or whatever..and it does seem to correlate with playing video games. Today was the worse one yet, I actually just threw away the underwear.

[linn1e]

I am too in the same boat, my 5 1/2 year old son is in pull ups at school and Im at school with him. Im at my wits end reluctant to go anywhere as he may poop his pants and we have a child physcologist for behaviour issues at school, A continence nurse for pooping have been to the ped whom also told me to keep a poop chart how big what time bla bla bla....He pee's well in the loo and if need be in the garden, oh yeah the ped said there was nothing physical wrong!!!!! what next???I'm a single mum. My son is well looked after feed, clothed and loved WHAT CAN YOU DO??????

[singledad1311978]

thanks for your success story because i believe the person who posted was looking for answers not more frustrated parents with no answers. I like all of them is frustrated and fed up but I'm looking for answers not a ten step group to relieve my stress. I want to help my child. My stress is secondary to her issue.  Your answers were very helpful thanks you. I hope more follow suit because i need ideas and answers!
singledad1311978      I don't want to seem cruel or heartless and i know all these parents want to help their children.  i just spent a hour looking at post after post of the SAME story. After five it became less of a positive( like whew I'm not alone) and more depressing like great I'm not alone but there is no answers. I love my daughter and i truly believe that its her mothers and my fault. So of course i want to help her and end it because it cant be a great time for her either always in trouble. Always worrying. Please give more answers if you have them.

[skepticalpeach]

Sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone when you are dealing with a parental issue. Sometimes we are searching for answers together! I know that makes me feel better.

[beckndave27]

hello, my 5 year old daughter was fine going to the toilet everytime time she needed it but then a week into her starting school she started pooing herself and now its constant, it is really starting to get me down, i DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE nothing is working with her, if i tell her off then she doesnt even seem bothered about it. she will wee or poo herself anywhere we go. i ask her why she does it and all she says is i dont know or its too runny. it asif theres something not clicking in her head that she is doing a bad thing and its dirty, she doesnt seem abit bothered. iv took her to the doctors so many times and all they give me is medician for blockage but its not working, they have finally transfered her a pediactric nurse but they havent been in touch yet, and also school nurse is involved. i feel asif i cant cope anymore as i have a 1 year old daughter to look after aswell but at the moment it feels asif i have two 1 year olds lol. please please please HELP xx

[Bnmn]

Omg my son is going to b 6 in august and hes still pooing in his pants. I potty trained him at 3 yrs old. One time for about 6 months he started pooing in the toilet and i thought my problems were solved! But then once again like he never stopped, he starts pooing on himself again! Im about ready to lose my mind with all of this. First when i asked y, he would say he didnt know. Now he says its because hes too busy playing games or watching tv. We bought a pool and got my kids pretty active outside in the pool, but once again he pooped on himself today. He use to hide in a corner and literally push his poo back into his butt! Now he just sits in his heal but it still tries to come out making a mushy mess! His bowels are pretty large. Once in a while it looks normal. But his bowels at least half of the time shocks me sometime. Now that i have looked this up on the internet, it seems like everyone is having this trouble! Id like to know why all of this is happening to so many parents!! I will take him to the doc and have them xray to see if hes back up. I almost hope thats what it is so we know what to do from there! At this point i dont know what else to do. Im so fed up, now his punishment is everything i can think of. I spank, make him throw away a toy, no games, no tv, not even toys, and all at once! Thats not even working! Ive even made him wear diapers, i have even made him sit in it til it burns his butt a little. He has even had to change his underwear in school bcuz he pooed on himself! Ive tried to embarrass him to tears as well. Me and all of my family is totally shocked that NOTHING has worked. But like i said, i will take him to the doctor and see what happens. Keep your fingers crossed for me please and keep my little man in your prayers!