what is wrong with this picture?

I have a three yr. old daughter that I call Pumpkin. Pumpkin is very attached to me. I should start at the beginning. When she was a baby she would never fall asleep on her own, we always had to put her down. She used a pacifier and was extremely attached to it. She had never slept well and still does not. She will wake 2,3,4 times a night with night terrors and now will come into my room and i take her back to bed. We don't get a lot of sleep. Pumpkin has to know every step we take before we even take it. She has a great memory   and wil remember the route we need to take after she has taken it one time. The causes a lot of tantrums because we have to follow this everytime.
   When pumpkin walks into a room she looks at everything in that room and seems to pay attention to nothing. We assume that she is not listening but found out that is not the case because we've heard her repeat phrases that we said. She plays with toys for a few seconds but is not really interested in them. She likes Nick jr and watches it's shows all day if you let her. When we leave the house she want's to take certain things with her, cooking utensils, small toys, head bands etc. She likes sticks,rocks, leaves,hay,straw and other things like this.
  She has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder more than a year ago. She hears everything, and is scared of many things like pinecones,dogs barking,cats, certain peoples faces and is always on the alert even when she is playing she is kind of looking behind herself. If she is on the slide and someone comes down behind her she screams. When my husband plays with her she will get scared and look at him like it's not him. She loves her family but at times she will scream "Get away from me" when they come near her. I am the only one that she does not act this way with. I really don't understand why this happens.
   She will repeat questions and phrases until i stop her. She is very bright but you can tell when she is just not getting something that you've said to her. She loves books and numbers. She focuses on certain things and right now iit is chucky cheese. She has been one time and will ask me the same questions about it everytime: will I go with her,what will we play with first, and a rundown of what she did there.
   I have listed many of her behaviors but I am still not done.This is just the basics. I will come back and finish later but in the meantime, I would just like an opinion on this. What is wrong with this picture. I should mention that she seems to have a great personality and smiles a lot, maybe too much. People always comments on how smart she is and can't believe the she knows so many words and how to use them. Thank you.
  

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, my first question is who diagnosed her with sensory processing disorder?  Was it an occupational therapist and is she doing occupational therapy to address her nervous system?  My son has sensory integration disorder and that is our route to helping him with many things.  When he was 3 he had a tough time but 4 could not cope with many things.  That is when occupational therapy really was a life saver.

The wandering around the room and the way you talks and asks questions makes me think about the part of sensory called "motor planning".  This is an important part of the brain and nervous system.  It involves how a person organizes thought.  It has nothing to do with intelligence but how they receive information and process it.  Then the brain has to get a plan of action together before sending the signals out to the motor group in charge of that function (mouth/talking, legs/walking, etc).  Many kids that have motor planning issues will avoid all together something that is difficult or become very frustrated and melt down over it.  Not being able to adequately handle emotions is another part of sensory called regulation or modulation.  Tantrums of a sensory kid can be big, whole body experiences and they can last for years.  We have techniques taught to us by our OT to work on regulation.  I'm happy to share any of these sensory related things that I've learned but am wanting to know where you are at with her therapy first.

Also, I hear from your description anxiety as well.  What is tricky about sensory is that a sensory kid is going to be more nervous and anxious simply because they are dealing with issues in coping with their enviroment.  Everything is twice as hard for them.  So is the anxiety caused from the sensory condition or is it also a condition that she deals with.  I'd also be curious is she develops some OCD as time goes on as you describe a few things that sound like this as well.  Again, a sensory kid is very controlling and wants things a certain way in order to cope.  If my son has in mind that a conversation is to go a certain way and I alter the plan--------  he can get really upset.  We do it over until it is what he wanted.  It is a sensory thing but appears OCD at times.

A thick piece of bubble gum will help her with motor planning-------  when she is going to a new enviroment and you'd like her to not wander but participate.  Lots of physical activity is what helps our son---------  parks, swimming, etc.

Also, your public school system by law offers early intervention preschool which your daughter is now old enough for (3 to 5 years).  You would call the school system and ask for a full evaluation (speech, psych, and OT).  If she qualifies, she can then attend their preschool program (for free) and receive services through the school system.

Please let me know what you've been doing for her sensory issues and we'll go from there.  good luck

[jdtm]

Also, I hear from your description anxiety as well.  --  Specialmom's words

This statement is vey correct.  Sensory issues are often co-morbid with anxiety issues.  The reverse is also true - anxiety issues are usually co-morbid with sensory issues.  If your daughter has been diagnosed with sensory issues, then by treating the sensory issues, through time and patience and a lot of hard work, hopefully, the anxiety issues will disappear (or least lessen).

One book  that might help you is "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron.  You should be able to find this book on-line, in your bookstore or public library (perhaps even your school district might have a copy).  If you google the title of this book, you should be able to find out more information re this topic.  There is also a section at the back which gives advice to teachers.  Hope this helps ...

[singitgirl]

Hi, everyone. Thanks for your comments. I got the results from the neurologist and it looks like she has  16p11.2 Micro deletion Syndrome. I am so glad that I finally have some answers. She is also being evaluated for some type of Autism. Thanks again for all your help.

[libour9]

wow this sounds too much like my three year old in alot of ways, may i ask did she have problems with potty training as well. My little man has alot of these symptoms, give or take a few, but basically right on point. I also am searching for answers and did not know about sensory issues so when he finally comes up on the wait list for his eval, I will be sure to check into it. i am so glad I read your question. I am sorry this comment is no help to you but this has helped me big time.

[benjimom]

Wow, glad you are getting some answers, a lot of people with SPD also are autistic, etc.  

[singitgirl]

Hi,sorry this took so long but I just saw your question. I started letting her sit on the potty at 18 months because the ped said that if she can support her wait she could sit on the potty.  I did not expect anything at that point and did not force her but by 25 months she was trained. She has few accidents but for maybe 3 or 4 days at a time will regress. This has happened 3 times.