Aa
what to do to my 4 year old boy!!!
pardon me for my english, im not that good. i just want to ask help here before bringing him in a doctor again, my 4 year old boy is too much, first he talks but not to much. he barely complete a sentence but he speaks and expess what he wants and what to do in simple words like me hungry, tummy full, want milks so on, second he only seems to easily pick up english word, (were filipinos so i expect him to understand and speak more of our language) hes memory about places and things is very superb!!! he lost twice in the mall but he managed to find us with out crying... he knows were to go in each mall we visited, he can remember roads and streets, he cannot read but managed to surf his way through a compute games, open a paint in the computer by just remebering its symbols even u changed the settings,he knows and identify all color types,he also knows the whole alphabet and numbers 1-10 english ang spanish but not in filipino words, , he is also good in playing video games in his psp, and gameboy, he tend to be hard loser if he cannot finish a game, he like watching tv to much, eventhough the channel he watch is educational, he went wild if u cannot give what he wants, if you tend to stop him from doing bad thing he intend not to listen but do it again, if you start to spank him the more he do it, he will not listen to every words you say, but when he's on mood he listen, there are times that u can ask him favor example get me a towel pick this get that, but there are times that he will not listen to every word u say,he's also selfish, he doesnt want his things or toys to be touched, but he plays his toys like a normal child, he's attached to a roullete, he doesnt eat that much, he only eat rice and soup, bananas,oranges, apples, mangos grapes, but not that much meat,, he doesnt want go to a doctor if he see's a hospital a clinic he start to cry and go wild... please help me i love my son that much what must i do?
You're very welcome. I'm glad my advice is taken so well. It really takes an effort on the parents part. It's so easy to put it off one night and just put the kids to bed, but it's very important to keep at it and help establish a routine.
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I have to comment on how excellant the advice g27gear has just posted , and made so much sense, I know reading is the best thing for children and also a love of music,I particularly liked the fact that g27 reviewed the book with his child ,it sounded just right and I have written it out to be able to pass on to help others with a similar problem, thank you G27
Kumusta!
My son was a little bit like this before. He would have moods where he just wouldn't interact with anyone. Normally when he was upset about something he wasn't getting, or when he was already in trouble for doing something bad. He has a hard time telling a story or asking questions. English is a second language for him (Bisayan is his first). He has forgotten most of his native language, but hasn't mastered English yet. I've talked to his teachers and they suggested we spend more time reading together. While we read, I ask him questions about what we've read on each page. His attention seems to be very short, but this is helping him a lot. If he just reads the book, or even watches a movie, he has a hard time telling about it after. But, if we stop and review things, he does much better. He's 7 years old now and doing much better. Perhaps if you have time to read Philippino books to him, along with English books, it will help him maintain and learn both languages.
I hope this helps. My thoughts while I was typing this were not very organized.
-Tony
My son was a little bit like this before. He would have moods where he just wouldn't interact with anyone. Normally when he was upset about something he wasn't getting, or when he was already in trouble for doing something bad. He has a hard time telling a story or asking questions. English is a second language for him (Bisayan is his first). He has forgotten most of his native language, but hasn't mastered English yet. I've talked to his teachers and they suggested we spend more time reading together. While we read, I ask him questions about what we've read on each page. His attention seems to be very short, but this is helping him a lot. If he just reads the book, or even watches a movie, he has a hard time telling about it after. But, if we stop and review things, he does much better. He's 7 years old now and doing much better. Perhaps if you have time to read Philippino books to him, along with English books, it will help him maintain and learn both languages.
I hope this helps. My thoughts while I was typing this were not very organized.
-Tony
How he is reacting sounds like a typical child and doesnt make me concerned. His speech still seems very slow for his age if he isn't talking sentences in his native language by 4 years old. Maybe you should just raise that with his paediatrician.
Otherwise it sounds like he is only misbehaving or being awkward when you are around. So, eventhough you must miss him terribly when you are away, I think you need to stick to the house rules when you come back and just bring him a present or something like that. It is more important to send your time with him rather than spoil him with things. Otherwise he will just think he can expect more from you and no discipline etc.
Otherwise it sounds like he is only misbehaving or being awkward when you are around. So, eventhough you must miss him terribly when you are away, I think you need to stick to the house rules when you come back and just bring him a present or something like that. It is more important to send your time with him rather than spoil him with things. Otherwise he will just think he can expect more from you and no discipline etc.
hi thank you also for the information. well as you ask about my child behavior well here are the answer... about the speech he repeats it sometimes like for example while we are talking and i f ask him baby are u hungry he will answer hungry chepoy but he will never repeat a word exactly it is...
he may repeat it sometimes like baby you want rice he will answer yes rice.. but if you are asking if he really repeats exactly i think he never did it like for example you tell him babby stop, he will not repeat, if his in mood hell follow you and listen but there are times he will just look and pause for a while then sort of thinking or asserting if you will get mad, next about the places u can explain him later will buy toy or go to play and he will understand and will not demand, sometimes he insist but without crying. sometimes as it was nothing and doesnt mind at all.. about the number he can identified it even not in orders, but if you are asking if he can line it up, no he cannot he can just identify it, he cover his ears whenit to noisy example new year... new year here in philippines is very noisy because verywhere there is firecrackers and he is afraid of it, sometimes if hes watching and it make him afraid to hear what happen he cver his ear and close his eyes until the scene is finish... about the language he was trained by his grandma to speak it as of now he knows little filipino language bec of his nanny, he complains if his food is spicy because he doesnt like spicy foods, he does not eat pork,beef, he's into fish,noodles, soups,fruits. about clothing i can say hes no t precise but there are times that he chooses what clothes he wants to wear,he's also changes clothes but i think its because of the training, he where household clothes if he's only inside the house, but he will go outside and play we change his clothing, thus i think this is the reason he's now always follow this rules about the clothes.
yup he joins their game but about talking only one child speak fluently or talk great and he is already 5 year old, all of his play mate are younger than him(1 of them is 2 2 of them is 3) thats all i can say and please help me, thankyou also for thye information
he may repeat it sometimes like baby you want rice he will answer yes rice.. but if you are asking if he really repeats exactly i think he never did it like for example you tell him babby stop, he will not repeat, if his in mood hell follow you and listen but there are times he will just look and pause for a while then sort of thinking or asserting if you will get mad, next about the places u can explain him later will buy toy or go to play and he will understand and will not demand, sometimes he insist but without crying. sometimes as it was nothing and doesnt mind at all.. about the number he can identified it even not in orders, but if you are asking if he can line it up, no he cannot he can just identify it, he cover his ears whenit to noisy example new year... new year here in philippines is very noisy because verywhere there is firecrackers and he is afraid of it, sometimes if hes watching and it make him afraid to hear what happen he cver his ear and close his eyes until the scene is finish... about the language he was trained by his grandma to speak it as of now he knows little filipino language bec of his nanny, he complains if his food is spicy because he doesnt like spicy foods, he does not eat pork,beef, he's into fish,noodles, soups,fruits. about clothing i can say hes no t precise but there are times that he chooses what clothes he wants to wear,he's also changes clothes but i think its because of the training, he where household clothes if he's only inside the house, but he will go outside and play we change his clothing, thus i think this is the reason he's now always follow this rules about the clothes.
yup he joins their game but about talking only one child speak fluently or talk great and he is already 5 year old, all of his play mate are younger than him(1 of them is 2 2 of them is 3) thats all i can say and please help me, thankyou also for thye information
Maybe it is as simple as your son is seeking your attention as when you are away and he is okay and his Granma says there is no problem.It is possible that when you come home you overcompensate for having been away, again I think this will pass and if you dont feed into it ,it will lessen , sounds like normal child behavior to me, so dont worry.
If the behaviour is only happening when you are around that is one thing.
If he is speaking English as opposed to his native tongue there is a possibility that this is an autistic spectrum behaviour. My son is English and speaks with an American accent because he repeats words/phrases that he has learnt from TV/DVDs. He also likes to watch TV alot. But cutting out the TV is not the answer. It is a different way of learning language. Does your son ever repeat things you say or things he hears from TV or films?
It is also very usual for children on the spectrum to be brilliant with visual memory. My son has done things on my computer that I cannot do. They can also be very ahead with learning numbers and letters.
Spatial awareness is also a skill that most children on the spectrum are superb at, so having been somewhere once he will remember it and the route exactly. What is he like if you attempt to take a differnt route to the usual one (eg. to the shops for example). Would he get upset and want to go the familiar route?
You say he knows numbers 1-10. Can he recognise individual numbers out of the order eg. if you showed him a number 6 would he be able to tell you what number it was, or do you mean that he can line up the numbers 1-10 in the correct order?
At 4 years old, if his speech is as poor as you say, I think he should be seen by a Speech Therapist to make sure that his expressive (talking) and receptive (understanding what people say to him) speech is age appropriate.
Does he have any sensory issues eg. appear not to hear when you call his name, cover his ears at noise, complain of tastes/smells/textures of food, very precise about his clothing or always removes clothes. Is his balance and co-ordination okay.
You say he goes out to play. Is he playing with the other children. By that I mean is he talking to and joining in with their games?
If he is speaking English as opposed to his native tongue there is a possibility that this is an autistic spectrum behaviour. My son is English and speaks with an American accent because he repeats words/phrases that he has learnt from TV/DVDs. He also likes to watch TV alot. But cutting out the TV is not the answer. It is a different way of learning language. Does your son ever repeat things you say or things he hears from TV or films?
It is also very usual for children on the spectrum to be brilliant with visual memory. My son has done things on my computer that I cannot do. They can also be very ahead with learning numbers and letters.
Spatial awareness is also a skill that most children on the spectrum are superb at, so having been somewhere once he will remember it and the route exactly. What is he like if you attempt to take a differnt route to the usual one (eg. to the shops for example). Would he get upset and want to go the familiar route?
You say he knows numbers 1-10. Can he recognise individual numbers out of the order eg. if you showed him a number 6 would he be able to tell you what number it was, or do you mean that he can line up the numbers 1-10 in the correct order?
At 4 years old, if his speech is as poor as you say, I think he should be seen by a Speech Therapist to make sure that his expressive (talking) and receptive (understanding what people say to him) speech is age appropriate.
Does he have any sensory issues eg. appear not to hear when you call his name, cover his ears at noise, complain of tastes/smells/textures of food, very precise about his clothing or always removes clothes. Is his balance and co-ordination okay.
You say he goes out to play. Is he playing with the other children. By that I mean is he talking to and joining in with their games?
thankyou very much for the information and your help, now i know, its really hard for first time parent like me, i also started to talk and inform all of my family member (his grandma,grandpa,aunties,nanny) about your suggestion,i also realize a thing when i read your response, my son is having a spoiled brat attitude, because he gets what he wants and he's beggining or maybe accepting the fact that he is the apple of our eyes so a little wild and bratty attitude will lead him to the things he likes and wants, (maybe my fault too, before i used to work overseas too so when i came back home i misses him so much and i tend to give everything... i mean all the things he wanted and like) you know this only started maybe a month ago, as my mom explain me he has no attitude problem when i still work abroad, he sleeps early (around 8-9pm) wake up early
(8am) he eats breakfast, eat lunch, take an afternoon nap, go outside when he wakes up to play with other kids then go home to watch tv then eat suffer, maybe its my fault too dont you think? but anyways thank you for the help, and im still open for your comments a suggestion.
(8am) he eats breakfast, eat lunch, take an afternoon nap, go outside when he wakes up to play with other kids then go home to watch tv then eat suffer, maybe its my fault too dont you think? but anyways thank you for the help, and im still open for your comments a suggestion.
Your Enlish sounds pretty good to me and you have spoken very fluently about your Problem, your boy seems like an intelligent and bright boy, I am wondering if you feed into his behavior too much, he wont do the bad thing if you make him realise by time outs and no treats,that he has abide by bounderies you set, I am uncertain where you live , as you say he speaks Spanish but not filipino, so you are from The phillipines, maybe it is a problem with language and you have to choose which one he will understand as Number 1, with TV and he goes wild, turn it off, no TV .... If he does a bad thing give him time out,if he comes off the chair take him back, tell him he stays there till he is sorry. If you are consistant he will get it.Dont worry about the eating he sounds as if he gets enough, and dont feed into the behavior as he realises it is getting him attention, Focus on his positive side and praise him when you see him doing something right.
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