whats wrong with my son it started at 8 month old now he is 6

[sheshe278]

Hi all
My problems started with my son when he was around 8 month old he started banging his head and biting his self but he never cried he use to do it with quite a lot of force i had to pick him up to stop him doing it then he would start banging his head of my chest what hurt very much. I was thinking to my self he is just a baby so he would probably grow out of it, He started nursery when he was 3 and things were just getting worse he never liked being with the other children and he would try and bite them or nip them his teachers were getting worried so there refered him to a child doctor she told me he was just going through the terrible twos so i thought great he will grow out of it. Now my son is coming up to 7 and over the years its just gone from bad to worse he is under average on his school work he will only do subjects he is interested in this is art and he loves gardening. His behaviour is out of control his siblings wont even go next to him any more in case he flys of the handle i have to be careful what i say to him or he will just explode. I have a problems with him when its bedtime he wont sleep then he doesn't want to get up for school the next morning he will not get ready for school i have to physically get him ready but he is a very strong boy he just pushes me out of the way. He as started going in his bedroom he will only come down for his meals he always wants to be on his own his brother shares a bedroom with him he says to me he hid,s under his cover and starts talking to some one. What i find odd is that he takes things from around the house and hides them in his room and i ask him if he as had them but he cant seem to remember he looks all confused. I have had him to the doctors again and there said there are going to refer him maybe for play therapy i cant see why he needs play therapy. Im getting to the point now were i need some ideas what might be wrong with him as this as been going on now for 6 and a halv years any help would be very much appreciated    xxxx

[ashebs]

hi it sounds alot like your son may be autistic yes i know sounds like the end of the world but its not. if it is autism then you will be given ways to help him and ways to help your self i hope you get it sorted out.

[margypops]

Are the siblings older than him is there any possiblity that he could have learned this behavior,you say he flies off the handle when he goes near his siblings , have they always been kind to him being the younger child or has there been any rivalry for attention.I think it would be good to look at the dynamics here.. Before you take it further check out the family are treating him well and nothing is upsetting him.

[sheshe278]

Hi margypops thanks for replying, i have 3 other children my son is the second eldest who is six then i have a 10 year old boy, then there is my daughter she is 4 and my baby he as just turned 1. All my children have been quite close my eldest son who is 10 looks out for his siblings so the answer is yes there are kind to him.


Hi ashebs thanks for replying have you any idea what the process is to determine if he is autistic, i had him to the doctors yesterday they are sending him to a place called CHAMS he said he may have to come out of school and go to a different one which i didn't expect.
xxxxx

[Sarah1013]

the play therapy is to help the doctors better understand what is going on with your son.

Good luck

[specialmom]

Just a note, play therapy is also therapy through play.  Many important aspects of a child's development happens during play.  Sometimes going back to a step missed is helpful for an older child.  IE:  an early walker that kind of skipped crawling will play games crawling during play therapy.  This is a way to teach social skills as well.  My child in occupational therapy plays games with his therapist-----  taking turns, being fair, appropriate language for winning (always telling the one who loses, good game for example instead of "I creamed you, loser!!) and losing (no fits allowed), and how in general, not to get his own way and being okay with it.  Sometimes kids are low tone and the do play activities (riding a scooter bourd on their chest up a ramp) to improve it.  That kind of thing.

When my son was evaluated they did many different things with him and it took a few visits to complete.  They asked me lots of questions about how he is at home and my observations of key factors to a particular diagnosis (in my child's case, sensory integration disorder).  They had information from the preschool he was attending and the therapist from the school was at phase one of the evaluation.  They had him do a number of activities for them (testing muscle strength, fine motor skills, gross motor skills, balance, auditory, etc.)  He had to draw things for them, do puzzles, cut with scissors, skip, hang from a bar, etc.  The whole time they were watching for things like how he waited for the next activity, how flexible he was in what they told him to do (as in  he wanted to do his thing with the blocks vs what they said), if he had trouble focasing, etc.  I wanted to chime in during that part and I wasn't allowed.  It was fascinating watching my son that I'm with all the time under those circumstances.  Anyway,  the evaluation process is good and you have to trust the experts.  Once you have a diagnosis-----  you find out what to do and start working on it.  My son is doing fantastic and is such a happy, well adjusted boy.  You become your child's advocate with a strong voice.  Read everything you can on the diagosis and become an expert.  Then you can decide if another school is the right choice or not.  You become part of the team making the decisions and are the one with his best interest most at heart.

They also could tell you that nothing is wrong and then your plan takes a different direction.  Good luck.   It is tough work being a mom and you have your hands full with three other kids too!  Best wishes.