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why does my 10 year old son still poop in pants
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why does my 10 year old son still poop in pants

I JUST DONT GET IT ! MY SON HAS BEEN POOPING IN HIS PANTS SINCE 5YEARS OF AGE.WE FINALLY TOOK HIM TO A STOMACH PEDATRIC DOCTOR AND HE DID TESTING AND EVERYTHING TURNED OUT TO BE NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. WE HAVE TRIED REWARDS AND RESTRICTIONS AND BACK TO THE SAME OLD THING HE STILL POOPS IN PANTS, THE THING THAT GETS ME THE MOST IS WHEN HE GOES IN HIS UNDERWARE THE SMELL AND THE FEELING DOES NOT SEEM TO BOTHER HIM ONE BIT. HOW LONG WILL THIS GO ON? THE NUMBERS OF UNDERWARE THAT HAVE BEEN THROWN AWAY JUST TO BUY MORE TO BE THROWN AWAY AS WELL. IT WAS METIONED TO BE THAT THEIR COULD BE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS WHEN OLDER CHILDREN STILL SOIL IN THEIR PANTS. WHAT EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS COULD THAT BE? PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT!


This discussion is related to My 8 year old pees the bed and poops his pants constantly!  Help!.
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Is there anyone that intimidates or abuses your child?  This is often a defense mechanism to ward off anyone that threatens them.  I can't say this is the problem, just one problem that you may wish to look into.  A good therapist may give you some clear answers.
Good luck and God bless.
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Avatar_f_tn
You should post this on the ask a doctor forum - there is something called encropesis (I spelled that wrong I think) that will cause these exact symptoms - it is something like impacted bowels that cause it.  
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http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/medical/digestive/encopresis.html  

Thought this website might be helpful also.. good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
I happen to have a cousin who I take care of..that has the same problem. He's ten years of age, too. He has gone through a lot the past four years. He soils his pants so often. When we first got him his pants were full of poop. So he does this all day everyday...so instead of letting him wear big boy underwear, we spend lots of money on diapers and pull ups. We have tried to talk to him but nothing seems to work. He says he can't feel it, but the doctors have said that he could. He also hides his diapers under the beds and puts soiled pants in the dirty clothes. He has to clean himself up at times it gets to worse that we have to change him and clean him up. My only suggestion is that you pray about it. The main cause for him doing it is due to stress. I mean when your parents don't care...and you were taken away from them...that's a lot of stress. He has medicine and he is getting better.
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He is humiliated and that is why he is hiding it.   If he says he can't feel it - he can't.  The doctor was very unhelpful in my opinion.  You should really read up on encopresis because that sounds like what he has and he needs someone to help him.   What type of medicine is he on?
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i know i may be so wrong, but i will mention it because you may want to research it. i was watching tyra show and there was a womna in her 30's saying that she wears diapers and loves to pee in herself . she has loved it all her life. its a comfort thing . loves to be relaxed and babied and she said there are lots of people like her and the dr. on teh show agreed.  but there could be many reasons . noone would know unless they know your situation very well. has he been abused? did he start at five years old? or he never learned to go in teh bathroom? what do you know about his school and how they handle these things. or if he has gone to daycare before. do some research and make sure you talk to a pediatritian.
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Hi, fefe!  Believe it or not, I feel like I am reading my story all over again.  My husband and I went through the very same thing with my son.  He is now 13.  He never seemed to have any interest in the potty when he was young.  He used to scream and run away from me when I tried to bring him to the potty when he was young.  By the way, he was 2 when we adopted him from Russia and we thought perhaps they were too strick with training him there and that was why he refused to go potty.  But that's getting off your immediate situation.  I'm trying to explain this background to you so you can get a better picture of my situation.  Anyway, when my son started school, he was still doing this in preschool and I had to go pick him up early, change him on the school premises (embarrassed) and was told by his teachers that he really needed to be potty trained before going to school.  So. . .by the time he was in 2nd grade he still was not toilet trained properly.  He would wet himself during the day and poop in his pants.  He was also bedwetting.  It was driving me nuts!!!  And even what made me more nuts, is it never seemed to phase him.  He said he didn't smell it either.  I believe he felt ashamed.  So his second grade teacher had us do a home test while she did a school test, because he was also inattentive at school.  I witnessed this first-hand too!  He would not sit still.  We were going on a class trip and I was chaperoning and he would want to run to the back of the class, where I was and just sit on my lap!  All this while the teacher was waiting for him to come sit down.  He was disrupting the class.  We couldn't leave for the trip until he cooperated.  Everyone was watching him and he didn't care.  Well the tests we did, sure enough we confirmed he was ADD, attention deficit disorder!  He saw doctors and a therapist.  The soiling as mentioned in another comment, is what is called ENCOPRESIS.  It was the first time I had heard of this.  You really should read up on this.  It is not the child's fault.  For some reason, in my son's case, because of his ADD, he did not want to take the time to sit on the toilet or listen to his body's cue of when he needed to have a bowel movement, or urinate.  He was too busy playing.  He found this going to the bathroom to be boring.  After all, he has ADD.  They get bored easily.  So by holding in his bowels, he becomes impacted (constipated) and then what happens is soil or loose stools slip out past the hard impaction and his pants become soiled.  This could also effect the bladder which makes him have accidents.  You really should read up on this. There is so much info out there.  See another doctor too, and keep going to different doctors until you feel satisfaction.  I saw so many doctors for my son.  It is not an emotional problem, but the encopresis/enuresis could in and of itself become an emotional problem if the child feels ashamed because of it.  My son, too, use to hide his soiled clothing in his closet, drawer, under the bed, hamper!!!  Yikes!!!  I couldn't take it.  Some doctors gave us help such as using a reward system with chips, one mentioned having a high fiber diet, one mentioned using a stool softener, another recommended drinking water throughout the day, and making the child sit on the toilet different times throughout the day, so his body rhythm would adjust and become accustomed to sitting and using the toilet properly.  I hope this has helped.  I know it is a long entry, but I truly understand your situation.  Just remember, when puberty hits, they eventually will grow out of it.  Be patient, because that is the biggest thing I had to learn.  My son did hit puberty and thank god, is now through with the problem.  He does have ADD still but we work through it and he is a great boy!!!   Good luck!
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I can't begin to explain how it feels to read the above entries and know that my son may not just be lazy!!!!!  My nine year old's problem with pooping in his pants started last year when his daddy almost died in the hospital.  It was very traumatic for all of us.  Luckily, my husband did not die, but my boy began to have night terrors and then the messing in his pants began.  We tried spanking, rewarding, making him go to the bathroom every thirty minutes.  He would do better for a month or two and then it would all start all over.  We did the throwing away of undies, making him clean himself up, questioning about any abuse.  most of the time we would know before he did that he had an accident.  He says he can't feel it or smell it.  I was at the end of my rope until just now reading what other moms are experiencing.  I hope that this little insight will help us get on the right path. Thanks
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Hi i was just browsing this forum and thought i could help. I am 15 and i had the same problem when i was younger. I can tell u from experience that it really is a stress problem along with traumatic experiences it took me a couple years but i finally got over it and stopped messing my pants. after i eliminated all the stress in my life as much as possible i noticed that i did not need to mess myself anymore. the doctors said that it stemmed from when i was five and was molested. but thats another story but if u can find a way to make ur kid feel comfortable he should stop messing himself. and its really just away for him to be left alone because he feels that if he smells nobody will bother him and trust me if he is anything like i was he is embarresed about and that is why he will hide the dirty underwear or diapers or watever. so i hope this helps u and i would love to hear back on whether it helped or not.

Good Luck
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I had this issue from the age of 3 to almost 13.  Years later, and in my 30s, I decided to find out about my peculiar behavior and the possible cause of it.  I must say, however, that I agree with "helpdude15" -- although I was not violated sexually, my problem was having a broken home at the age of 2 and a father who abused me both physically and psychologically from the time I can remember until I hit 16 and was sent (from Iran) to live with my uncle and his wife here in California.  Thirty years have gone by, and I can tell you with almost certainty the cause of this behavior (or at least in my case - and I think you can find others that will agree with me), was a direct result of the abuse.  I should also add that I did not simply soil myself; rather, I would resist having bowl movements until I could no longer stand it and subsequently soiled my pants where ever I was.  I even remember sitting on the tile part of the floor and pushing until the fecal matter had only one way to go -- back up!!  So, firstly make sure your child is not soiling himself because he's actually holding on to it in the first place.  Either way, the word "Control" is what I've heard more than any other in regards to this matter.  I've been told that my world was so out of control that I was trying to control the one thing that I actually could.  I'm sure your child is much loved and is not having the horrific experiences that "helpdude" or I have had, but it might be worth looking at his surroundings and the people that occupy those surroundings.  Sometimes the smallest outside pressure can trigger such puzzling behavior in child.
Good luck and God bless!!
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i have twin daghters that pee and poop in the day and at night  they are 13 and still in diapers maybe you should try diapers
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It could be due to encopresis.  If so the bowel is impacted as well as having stools behind it that can leak through.  In this situation he really won't be able to feel it.
Or it could be a developmental problem like ADD or even Aspergers.  These types of disorders can mean they can get very focused on something and essentiall block out everything else including the need to go to the loo.  
If he has any sensory issues he may not be able to feel internal sensations like needing the toilet or his ability to feel these sensations may fluctuate.
You also need to look into any stress, anxiety or trauma.
Have you talked to your son about anything he thinks may help him?  If he has encopresis I have heard you can get mineral oil and you can get the dosage and timing right so that he gets into a routine.  He obviously is embarrassed about what is happening if he is hiding his underwear.  So if he says he can't feel it I would just believe him rather than punish him for that.
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I agree that it is a stress, or trauma that causes this.  I have no memory but was told I pooped my pants in the second grade.....I am adopted, and even though I was raised by a loving family.....there is trauma when
separated from a mother even at birth.  Are any of these children adopted?  If so there are many books out there about the psychological effects of adoption.
-Jeanne
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Ok, I am a ready made dad, when i got with my wife now her children were 3 and 5. Pretty much from the time I got with my wife the 2 girls were pooping their pants. The children did deal with abuse from ther bio dad so im sure that had all and everything to with them pooping their pants. I delt with it and delt with it and tried everything I could think of to get them to stop pooping their pants. I tried reward systems, punishments like time outs and stuff like that. I tried every method I thought possible. I finally got them broke of pooping their pants and this is how I did it. Well..... I used to throw away their soiled panties and one day I decided NO im tired of this and im tired of them soiling their pants. What I did was every time they pooped their pants I made them hand scrub the poo out of their panties in the toilet. Now most of you are thinking "what a horrible father" well ya know what after a few times of having to hand scrub the poo out of their pants they decided they didnt like it and they quit pooing their pants. I know it might sound horrible but it worked for both of my children and maby it will work with your child. Hope this helps
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I don't think you are terrible- but it helped you find out for sure they had control over their bowels..... It's just a natural consequence- let's say I got sick with a tummy ache and I had an accident- I would have to clean it myself- it's really just the most natural answer. If they had not stopped you would probably look into their being a medical problem.


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I used to have that problem when I was a kid. No kid is going to tell you what happens because it's too private and too embarrassing. It's not that you poop your pants, it's the fact that you hold it in because of a pleasurable sensation it causes. Then there's always some poop that comes out and that causes the problem.

Here's how my parents solved it, they schedule me to go to the bathroom 4 times a day, and would not get up until I was completely done. Also, every time I would go pee, as a rule I would have to wipe my butt so it took me a while but I actually conquered the beast and when I turned eleven it was gone, no soiled clothes.
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My son has been constipated since ha was 6 months old. He had a hard time potty training. He was completely potty trained when he was 5. Just recently (2 months ago) he started having accedents and not telling me. It started off like big skid marks and not he has more than that. I try to stay on top of it. The last thing I want is for someone to notice and make him feel bad about it. Personal hygene is very important and that should be a parents number one goal. They might do things you don't understand or like.
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to the person who posted the link regarding "encopresis" the information has definatley given me something to talk to my sons doctor about...I also now don't feel like I am the only mom out there with a 10 year old pooping his pants..
thank you again....
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Our family is dealing with this problem right now with our 5yo.  She was potty trained for urination at quite an early age but we let her use a diaper for pooping until she was about 4 1/2.  Soon after we went off the diapers she started "holding it" and became chronically constipated.  She also has severe food issues which don't make the problem any better.  There are only about a dozen foods she will eat and not many are high in fibre so we use Miralax to try and keep her regular.

It's important to know that kids with Encopresis cannot feel that they have to go to bathroom because their colon is stretched and their nerve endings are shot.  You have to get rid of the constipation and then get the bowels back in shape which can take weeks or months.

This is a great document.  It has some detailed explanations of common questions and a cute (if fecal soiling can be cute) story that might help kids understand the problem and ways to help beat  "Sneaky Poo".

I hope this helps and good luck to all of you.

http://www.narrativetherapylibrary.com/catalog_details.asp?ID=178

"A revised edition of the earlier Beating Sneaky Poo, this edition looks at the common questions parents may have including, “How does faecal soiling start?” and “What problems can it cause?”  An illustrated story is also included that can be read to children. Beating Sneaky Poo aims to assist children who are suffering from faecal soiling and also assist their parents, teachers and health professionals."
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Thank you to everyone for posting there comments . I'm pleased i'm not the only one going through this problem with my son . I'm going to take my son to the gp .I feel really horried now . All the time this has been happening and i have been shoutting and screamming at him for doing this and it could be a medical condition and not just him being lazy .
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my son is 10 years old and still poops his pant.  How can i fix it
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My son(8) has also gone thru this same thing with peeing and pooping. WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT SCHOOL.  My son was in a private school. He was held back a year because he spent so much time out of the classroom that he wasnt getting his lessons complete and now I am homeschooling because the private school wont(and doesnt have to) take him. The public school has to take him(encopresis is covered under disabilities) but I am not going to do that with him...kids can be cruel. Can some tell me what to do about school? They will not let him wear pullups to school(tried that) because when he has an accident, he has to go clean himself up and they say it is a health hazard to the other children. please email me ***@****
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To the moms out there who battle the constant soiling of underwear. This is NOT always an abuse issue. Unfortunitely it is a more common problem but for those of us dealing with the issue it can become overwhelmimng. It is not you and your not alone. My son is 9 and has been taken to the Dr. and Specialist who say he has chronic constipation. Common in kids. This problem not from you. My son has been soiling his underwear now for "5 years" Often he sits in his soiled underwear and doesn't seem to bother him at all. It is frustrating but the only solution I have done is pull ups and constant buying of new underwear weekly up to 14 pair a week. Yes expensive but my sanity is needed just as bad. He just changes with nothing being said. He doesn't feel the need to hide them ( causing health issues). He feels comfortable changing and I deal with it. The Dr. said he would probably grow out of it. I pray daily and I pray for you because I am there I know how you feel. If you need to talk email me. Frustration is common but being able to talk to someone in the same shoes helps me deal with the common problems with my son too.
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Avatar_m_tn
My wifes son is soon to be 17 and just recently (within the last two months) stopped crapping in his pants.

I met my wife when he was 9 and he was doing it then. I thought of all the possibilities while my wife made excuses for him. Medical condition, nerves, fear, get attention and stress were just a few excuses she had.

The key words you used were " the smell and the feeling does not seem to bother him"  this boy was the same way. He would act as if nothing happened. He did not want to clean himself up. He was not embarrassed to be around other people . He would shove his undies under his bed or in his pant leg. like he was collecting them. Almost as if he was proud of himself. Only difference for me is that my wife would not punish him or make any attempt for that matter to try to stop him.

After our relationship was seemingly at its end because I refused to be near him for any reason, she decided to get medical tests done only to find out there was nothing physically wrong with him.

Then onto the shrink who after many visits told us that he actually for whatever reason like being in and smelling his own poop! How she got that out of him I don't know but thank god she did.

Then my wife was sick to her stomach and started taking all his fun away no phone, TV, computer, video games, candy, ice cream you name it. It took almost five months before it came to an end. but it's over.

I don't know if that's your kids problem but it may be something to look into
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My son is 6 and has been pooping in his pants on and off for the last two years.   He will go to the toilet some times but mostly he goes in his pants.  He too is at a private school and I have been hauled in just recently and told about the health and safety issues. He has been seen to put his hand down his trousers, pull some poo out and play with it on the floor and then to smear his fingers along the carpet with it.  He goes to the toilet for wees but not poos.  He has seen a specialist and there is nothing wrong with him.   I can talk to him about it, beg and cry to him about it, offer untold riches and anything to get him to stop but it goes in one ear and out the other.   I really believe he does it on purpose.  When he started this new school he had two weeks of no accidents but then they started to appear slowly, one every couple of days and now its just every single time.  I think we have kept Primark in pants this last year and I cant leave the house without a bag of spare pants, wipes etc.  He is made to clean himself up but I honestly believe he does not care.  I have no more ideas of how to stop this.
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Hello Everyone!!  Please help me, my son is 10 yrs old and still poops his pants.  he does not have any health issues no ADD, no ADHd no issues with abuse mentally or psycally.  I have done every punishment you can think of punished from DSI, WII computer, phone going out to play.  i have made him scrub his pants and still does, it doesnt faze him.  i have thrown out all poop underware he doesnt care. he doesnt even care when he poops his pants, he will sit in it and he stinks, when you ask him if he pooped he looks you straight in the eye and says no.  it gets to the point that is dries up and falls out of his pants!!!!  I have been going to the same doc and he says he is just being lazy,  Im going insane, its causing strain  on my relationship.  i have done the rewarding things doesnt work.  he just doesnt care!!!! what is the next step.  i have another child that is 3 and poops on the potty fine.  its just that since poop falls out of my older son's pants i have to worry that my 3yr doesnt think its candy if i dont get to it on time.  SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
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My 6 year old is exactly the same.  No problems whatsoever apart from pooping in pants and flat outright denial when he's done it.   Like you I was getting myself in a state about it.  I am taking my son back to the drs and I asking to be referred to see a psychologist.  Since I told my son we are going to see a specialist, he has had only one accident!   I sat him down and told him that I had no idea how to help him as everything, like you, I had tried failed.    I'm not sure if he is scared about seeing the dr but I'v only found 1 pair of hidden pants this week!!  I will let you know what happens!
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Tonight I finally tried typing in a search for "my 17 year old son still has regular poop accidents" and found this site.  I was amazed to read so many familiar sounding stories.
Our son is about to turn 17 this summer and STILL has his ongoing accidents.  We have been to about 6 or 7 different doctors over the years, 5 different hospitals, shrinks, and the problem goes on.
When confronted with it he says he doesn't smell it or feel it.  He was not abused, or adopted, no violence in his life.  He has been spoiled since he was a baby, and even when we couldn't afford things, we made sure he had a good Christmas and birthday, we showed him love all the time, so we see no reason for a psychological issue.  He was also hiding his soiled underwear in his room, under the bed, in other clothes.  When he was younger and took swimming lessons, he left the showers in his bathing suit leaving a trail of brown water heading for the pool, so I had to turn him around, cancel the lesson that day, and clean up after him.  He went to school and managed to get through grade school with the teachers calling us at least once a week to come and get him at the office and take him home.  Surprisingly the other kids never made fun of him although we think that they were told he had a medical problem and not to make fun of him.

Over the years we have tried everything from praise when he did go to the toilet, to rewards, to games, etc....  Didn't work.  We tried punishment like grounding, no games, no computer, no tv, no friend over, no going outside, and when he got older, no cel phone, ... Didn't work.  The grounding lasted anywhere from a week to a month, with no luck.  We finally let up because we felt bad.  The groundings were not helping, so we let him have his things back.

If he has an accident and you stand next to him and smell it, he denies it.  He will argue so much that you would swear he is fighting a case in court.  He puts up such a battle, he raises his voice, gets mad, and we can smell it.  And then when we send him to take a shower, we find his underwear in the shower with poop in them.  When he was younger we had a dog, and we found so many pair of underwear with the crotch eaten out of them because he would hide them and the dog would find them during the night and eat right through them.  I am surprised the dog never got sick.  We have gone through hundreds of pairs of underwear over the years, and the problem still goes on.
Even as recent as last night, we had an argument because of an accident he denied, and we found he had one.
We have no idea what to do anymore.  Everything we try fails.  We know what all of you are going through and we wish you luck.  For those of you who have gotten past it, we are happy for you.  For all the others all we can say is, we know how you feel, and we know how hard it is.

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Your Child may have Hirschsprung Desease, many doctors fail to check for this since is so uncommon, they have to perform a biopsy and check for nerve cells, if the nerve cells are missing he has Hirschsprung. Go see a gastroenterologist and he can recommend a good pediatric surgeon if Hirschsprung is the case. If left untreated it can be really dangerous
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Thank's to everyone for giving me and my family a better insite on this matter. My son is a ten year old with ADD and poops in his pants. Now having my questions answered I will take the next step and speak with my child's doctor. Im so greatful, I now have a much better understanding about my sons reasoning behind this issue. I will let my son know as of today that were going to get thru this issue without being embarrased. Thanks again. Sincerly, Mom with concerns
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Another story to share.  My girlfriend has a son that was around 10 yrs old at the time. He would poop in his pants during school and when we would come to pick him up we could smell it in the car. Well my girlfriend would get really really mad at him and make him sit in the tub for 2 or 3 hours. He would tell her that he was busy playing and didn't want to stop.  She finally took him to the doctor and they told her it was a digestive stomach problem...but I don't know. Whenever he would go to the bathroom, the smell would be very bad. He liked to play videos and watch TV a lot. When he would be watching TV he would flap his hands and rock back and forth. At that time (1990) autism was not really talked about or understood, believe it or not.  But what I don't understand is why didn't her son show symptoms when he was younger? Anyway, he seems to be normal neurologically and eventually the pooping stopped, but in my opinion, whenever a child has a problem like that, it's not their fault. PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT YELL OR GET ANGRY WITH THEM. UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH AND WORK WITH THEM TO GET HELP.  Best wishes always...
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My nine year had been pooping his pants since a toddler! Now I have full custody of him I use to blame it on his up bringing but he is at the age of knowing whats right from wrong and noticed a pattern. He knew he had to go toilet but if he was in the middle of somethging that he didnot want to leave he would just pooh his pants. Took me a while to see it and after drs examination as well as documentation I had recorded over time, we had put it down to behaviours and anxiety ( worried about diasrupting his fun by going toilert) My Partner  and I are strong believers in Groundings and Privieges taken away! So Fun was main source of the problem, boredem was the solution. Everytime he pooped his pants hes was grounded for a week! He sat in the corner every day staring at the wall and could only move for meals, toilet etc... he was put on a healthy diet when grounded and told that it was to help his bowels because he couldnt do it himself.(which is beneficial for their health anyway) alot of water, fruit, vegies. No sweets whatso ever!! this also gets to them mentally! Parents be strong and see the punishment through. Im happy to say it has been very effective after a couple of grounding sessions, he has not done it for 2months (longest time ever!!) So document when it happens you may find a pattern, seek medical advice, inform child of action that will be taken (if its just behaviour?) Pin point the problem,find the solution. And basicalliy use it against them.AND STICK TO WHAT YOU SAY!!
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Hi again, since my last post a few things have happened.  We have visited the drs and now we'v had a slight improvement.  As helpful as the Dr was, he gave us some laxative to give him on an evening before bedtime so that in the morning, after his breakfast, he should go to the toilet to flush all poop out.   Never happens as its supposed to is it!!!!  And really constipation is not the problem, the behaviour is.  He generally had diarrhoea during the night and still had accidents at school but with an added extra this time.  My son started smearing his poo all over the toilet seat and walls until the school hauled me in to announce they would not keep my son at school. Imagine how upset I was then double it.   I had to take my son home and he stayed off school for 1.5 weeks (which actually did him some good as he had to spend time with grandma and grandad whilst we were at work -imagine how exciting that was!!!)  At home my son got the telling off of his life both from me and my husband.  Television, sweets, in fact anything nice was banned.     I am glad to say that the smearing has stopped.  And he is back at school now.   He is still having accidents but we have now taken a different approach.  In every toilet we have, he has 2 spare pants, baby bags and toilet wipes (not baby wipes).  Most of the time he will take himself off to the toilet to clean up.  At school he has a little IKEA box with spare pants, baby bags and toilet wipes.  We dont make a fuss about accidents now, if I smell he has had an accident I just say "can you go the toilet and clean up please" and off he trots.   At school they have noticed a big improvement.  If he needs to go the toilet he takes his box with him and is there and back again as quickly as possible.  If he needs more pants/supplies he tells me.  We do seem to be having an impact as he is not having accidents every day now and also it has been noted that he has gone to the toilet to do a poo in it!!!!!
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Where do I start?!?  Like many of you, my son is having the same problem.  He is 7 years old and in 1st grade.  Everyday he comes home with a load in his pants and, as many of you know, it is extremely frustrating.  He goes to a private school and I don't even remember the number of times we have been called to come pick him up.  At the beginning of the school year the school nurse sent home a letter insinuating that we were ingnoring the problem and threated to call social services.  They don't understand!  They think he was never potty trained - which as all of you know isn't the truth.  The school, the pediatrician, the psychologist and the teachers all say that they have never experienced a child with this problem. They keep telling me that I need to fix his problem but no one seems to know how to fix it.  I've tried laxatives, rewards, punishment everything that everyone else has.  I want to start my own school and only admit children who still poop in their pants!  I just find it extremely ironic how each of these children just don't care about how they smell and feel.  My son doesn't have any friends.  He says nobody likes him.  They all call him poopy pants.  He has no one to play with and he doesn't care!  There has got to be an answer...if so many children are all experiencing this issue...there has to be an answer.
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All the posts sound all too familiar. My son, now 17, had the problem of defecating on himself between the ages of 4 to 7 years old. He would sometimes hide his "dirty" underwear but mostly not acknowledge that he did it and that it was there in his pants. Also, he would not clean himself after this would happen.

I did everything as well - therapy, doctors, punishment, reward systems, etc. Nothing worked. It was an extremely stresshttp://www.medhelp.org/posts/new/521820#ful time. He was kicked out of after-school care, calls everyday from his teachers... eventually he just grew out of it. ??????? I don't know how or why but it stopped.

When he was about 15 or 16 I asked him why that was happening when he was younger. His response, "I was always too absorbed in what I was doing to stop and go to the bathroom". How completely true that is, I don't know because I still think that one would be concerned about how they feel or that others might know.

Hopefully parents who have experienced this with their children in the past can ask their kids no that they are older, what they were thinking and feeling during that time. It may help. Hope it does. Love your child through this. All the best.
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Hi - just read your post and just wanted to let you know that my son goes to a private school too and when I was hauled up before the Headmaster (both my sons only started this school in Jan 10) I was made to feel that I was either ignoring the problem or doing nothing about it.  It was the Headmaster who told me to keep my son at home for a while and to "ring the Drs to get his appointment brought forward".  I must admit that really it was the smearing the poo that they found the problem.  I am working with his form teacher and i see her everyday.  She is using a "spiderman toilet chart" that I made up myself to record if he goes to the toilet or has an accident and each morning I look at it with her.   We have seen an improvement and they understand that he is under a specialist now but really I think the improvement is down to us not making a fuss about it.  I am rewarding him by having his room painted with Spiderman and this has been rewarded on an item per good week - we have so far got one wall and a lamp!  
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Checking several sites on this topic I'm struck by the frustration expressed by parents and sense the stress the children involved are suffering.  Based on what I learned in an enlightening collage course on behavior, during a couple of generations of family experience, and research,  I would like, as a lay person, to share some observations. I will post this in several related threads.

There are several reasons for panty pooping and wetting including revenge, revolting (pun intended), claustrophobia - not liking to be closed in small rooms, especially with a large stone mouth that can swallow a whole child, or a physical condition.  

I believe there is another seldom considered reason - are you ready for this - ITS FUN!

One of the first things children independently master is bowel and bladder control. Some children, usually the smarter ones, master this function earlier than others and it may not be noticed by parents. The shift from involuntary to voluntary control is subtle. In an another wise boring time, being able on their own to relieve pressure and even pain by conscientiously spreading the legs a bit and filling underwear, and the resulting relief, pleasure and feeling, can rapidly become addicted behavior, even imprinted. Toss in some erotic feelings (oh yes, your child has them) and an underwear fetish may develop (or may not).

"Fetishism" is characterized by sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies generally involving non-human objects.

To determine if panty pooping and/or wetting is a behavioral addiction requires some detective work.  
1) Hiding soiled underwear is a sign your child feels guilty about causing problems, but not enough to stop the behavior.
2) Washing soiled pants is often seen as way to continue this behavior, eventually in private, without inconveniencing others.
3) An affirmative answer to any of these questions, asked in a relaxed and non-event environment, is a positive clue:
       A) "Is going in pants more fun than using the toilet?"
       B) "Do you think I would enjoy going in my pants?"
       C) "Because you go in your pants a lot is there a special type of underwear you would like?"  You might be surprised to receive an intelligent discourse on stretch, absorbency and leg band tension.  Your child is pretty smart!  Otherwise he or she wouldn't be in this mess (intended).

If you think you are dealing with addicted behavior, than you should make it clear that:
1) This type of behavior is different, however it is not uncommon or unhealthy if proper sanitary practices are followed.
2) Because most people don't understanding panty pooping it must be done in private, not in public, or in school, or when guests or playmates are around.
3) Pooping and peeing in public will influence how you are accepted by others resulting in devastating social problems that will effect your family, life and career - forever.
4) That this urge to poop and/or wet panties will start to go away as you get older and find the extra time and effort involved is not worth the results.  (It can increase if under stress or bored.)
5) And, "By the way, don't spoil our floors or furniture!"

Sorry, you can not beat an addiction or fetish out of a person.  Seriously harassing a young child can cause bonding stresses that may lead to RADish behavior. No, that's not something to eat. "Reactive Attachment Disorders stem from problems in the parent/child relationship in the earliest years. When infants and toddlers should be learning that their needs can be met by the people they are dependent upon, they learn instead that it's not safe to trust others - that to be dependent on others is not worthwhile. Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D" .  Shipping feral children to Russia is not an option for most folks.

It is important to not make this addictive behavior a bigger problem than it really is. Remember, this is not your child's fault! You're the one that missed or messed up the critical potty training window.  
1) You are going to have to accept the problem's existence, control it in low stress manner, and it will eventually go away. Or more likely,be repressed.
2) Have pants available. A clear place they can wash and dry. And make sure they know you are available to discuss anything, anytime.
3) When shopping let them pick out their underwear.
4) Put some interesting magazines in the toilet. (If the kid doesn't read them your husband will.)
5) Try to influence event frequency, maybe "every other time" progressing to "once a week", etc.
6) When they clearly don't do it in public anymore try to have more friends, theirs and yours, around which will encourage more toilet use.
7) When mature enough explain the reasons behind this behavior, and maybe your role, and emphasize that it is not un-common.  Developing a good self image is important. Children should not think they are some kind of a freak.

Good luck finding a doctor, any kind, that isn't baffled by this "serious defecational defect". Their revulsion with messing around with crap overcomes logic. Your child will have a happy and successful life, if not with some professional help, then with the counsel you provide. Post if you do locate a competent professional who works with children's addictive behavior and fetishes.

Please do not use sugar to try to change behavior. I think addicting kids to sugar should be considered child abuse. I would rather be with a healthy well adjusted adult, who may occasionally enjoy taking a secret dump in a pair of drawers, than a sugar addicted slob, like you ones you've seen blocking the aisles in Wal-Mart. Usually leaning on a large cart full of carbohydrates.
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My 8 yr old son is experiencing the problem of pooping in his pants.  He was potty trained at the age of 3 and I had a hard time getting him to do this from the beginning.  By the time he was 4, he had no problem going.  He was completely potty trained from 4 until a month before he turned 8.  Life has not been very stable or great the past 2 years and I have done everything to eliminate stress from his life and to spend more time with him to make him feel loved as he is.  He has been going to a therapist weekly now since February.  Still the problem is not resolved.  I have tried rewarding, punishing, asking about any abuse, making him clean out his underwear, etc. but none of it has helped.  I am going to go to his doctors and talk about this Encopresis.  Just from the symptoms of it, sounds as though this could be the problem my son is having.  I hope so because I am at my wits end with this and I feel like a failure of a mother.  I want my son to be happy and to not have any problems.  I will keep you all updated.
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Im soooo happy ive come across this sight, my son is soon to be 10 and been soiling his pants since out of nappies really. Like eveyone on here ive gone to see child therepists and been told on numerous occasions that there is nothing wrong and to follow excercises that they set for us, to which none of them worked. Im at my wits end and to be honest its causing alot of problems between me and my partner, ive not known where to turn. We find it so frustrating that he continues with this behaviour despite punishments, grounding, confiscation of property etc. Like many on here he does not have a issue with  the smell or sitting in soiled pants all day, he also hides his pants.  On monday im going to take the suggestion of encopresis to the doctor aswell as the suggestion of ADD  as on numerous occasions i have suggested this to my partner as my son doesnt deal with his emotions well, he never keeps eye contact with you when being spoken to, when he is being asked about something he plays with his private bits asthough he is nervous about something all the time etc.
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I have a son who "had" encopresis. It started shortly after trying to potty train when he was 3 yrs old. I put potty training off for a while and then when he seemed ready again, we accomplished it. But then started the holdings. Mainly to do with the fact that he had more important "things" to do ~ like playing. Well I did some research and started with flaxseed in all-fruit smoothies, totally changed his diet to much more healthy, but to no avail. He still had encopresis. I found dairy products to also be a trigger to set him off. So I switched him to soymilk and watched his dairy intake, though he loves cheese. This helped somewhat and I was now giving him flaxseed oil in all-fruit smoothies. When I took him in for his 5 yr well check, his Dr chided me for switching him to soymilk and told me he could develop osteoporosis if I didn't give him milk. I told him about his encopresis and he told me to put him on Miralax. I researched Miralax and Dulcolax and decided against it. But I did go home and gave him milk. He immediately got plugged up again, confirming the fact that milk is a major culprit besides him training his muscles to "hold it." We would spend SO MANY hours in the bathroom when he would go for 2-3 to 5 days without having a BM. I switched him back to soymilk. My sister suggested YoPlait YoPlus yogurt since it had probiotics. We tried it and it seemed to work and get him regular. Well, he tired of having to have a yogurt everyday, so I did more research about probiotics and found a chewable probiotic children's pill that he now takes once a day, at bedtime and it's NIGHT AND DAY in the difference. He is now regular and has been for 1 yr. It is such a relief to know our problem is solved. The pill is made by Nature's Way and is called Primadophilus Kids and it's carried by Sprouts and SunFlower Market where I live, but you can call them and find out if they sell it near you. 1-800-9NATURE. I thought he was going to have to live with this problem for the rest of his life but thank goodness I found out about this after only 3 yrs, which is still a long time to have to have dealt with it. I'm hoping this information helps someone else out there besides resorting to a drug that doesn't really treat the problem but just makes a person have to go to the bathroom. I am in no way affiliated with Nature's Way and I'm sure there are other probiotic chewables out there for kids. Just hoping someone else reads this and gives it a try if your child is suffering from this problem. It worked for us and hopefully it will work for you.
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My boyfriend's son is 6 and poops is pants almost everyday. He puts his soiled underwear and clothes in the dirty clothes baskets right with our clothes. He can no longer take baths because he will poop while he is the tub and just go about business washing like nothing happened. One night I came home from work to a terrible smell. It turned out he had been too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom and filled his pants with poop. We have tried punishing him, grounding him, even making him clean his underwear (which sometimes illicits laughter out of him, almost like he is enjoying it). Hopefully we can get him into counseling. I am getting so frustrated.
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My boy says he does it because he's watching TV or playing video games, but it has happened several times throughout the school year.  I just punished him because he slept in popped underwear but I'm not sure that punishment is appropriate...HELP!  
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Good information Rachel 1985..thank you for posting it to help others in the same position, it was invaluable..
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I had the exact same problem with my son who pooped several times a day for more than 3 years from age 4 to 7.  He was falling behind in school due to the being pulled out all the time and I was going to lose my job for taking off so much to pick him up.

My pediatrician recommended a hypnotherapist who had experience with children with this problem.  (experience with children is necessary since they have to use children talk and play)

After one session, he acted less anxious and on the way out asked to go to the bathroom.  !!!!!!

The hypnotherapist also said we can say comforting things to him while he slept to reinforce this every night.  Like, we will always love you. you are safe at home, school, etc.  

That has been 8 months (we saw the hypnotherapist over winter break) and he's been poop free enjoying swimming this summmer and looking forward to 2nd grade being poop-free.

You can google hypnotherapist and the town you live in (or next biggest town)  to see what's available.  Make sure that he/she is certified with the www.ngh.org

Bless you all!


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sorry i posted Wrong website

It should be www.ngh.net
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Hi my son is now really 10 he has the same problem as most children. Reading some off your problems and advice really did upset me ... My son has had this problem from being a young age after my youngest son was born he started doing poops in his pants wee s always in the toilet i spoke to my health visiter and she gave me some advice it did work finally but son 2 was only 2 yrs 4 months at the time... When the boys father and me seperated it started again this was pre school years ... Finally i took him to the doctors he had the full check up he was suffering from concepation given medicines... But he had a habbit off holding in the poops. Any way he was refered to a phediatrian and had regular appointment . we moved away and set up home with my now partner poops didnt go away but its one off those things you dont talk about at the school gates. i took him back to the doctors and he went to see a pheditrcian at our local hospital ... But i always knew that his problem was to do with physchological and he was refered to a physocogist who we see regulary we have a reward system for him and it works each time we go we change stratergies. now we have a small bin in the bathroom with wash stuff inside and if he soils or MARKS (which a lot are ) he puts them in there no questions or i will just say iv sorted it. But on a negative his dad did put him in nappies and thats so wrong having your child coming home in them and them cying things will never get better at that rate ... I told Joshs physcoligist and he said that was SO wrong ... Please if your child does have these problems please seek help you have not failed as a parents or a carer but there are some things you can not resolve on your own. Also there might be a medical condition. you are not on your own as there is lots off children that have this problem and ones like it ... Like i was told these are not the things parents/people talk about at the school gates or over a coffee...
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My son is 11 yrs old and is still pooping his pants, He holds it is until it comes out on its own, His poop is always large and thick as I make him sit every night to go. He was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and has been on medications since then, this year we add Prozac to help with his high anxiety. At age 8 he was diagnosed with encopresis and was treated for his constipation with mineral oil and Miralax. We have had times where he goes months without an accident and then starts up again, it takes a while for the smell to build up in his room and he has started to hide his underwear again. This has already killed one relationship and ended my marriage, now it looks like my current partner is reaching his wits end as well. I think I will try the probiotics and see what that does for us. We have punished, rewarded, grounded, and taken everything away from him, sometimes sitting down and talking to him works but mostly it just makes him unhappy, he never has a answer for why he does it and says he doesn't remember it happening, only that it makes him feel bad. But still he will sit in the poop until we notice and say something. I have tried everything weekly therapy appointments, poop schedules, gluten and dairy free diet, even seeing a hypnotherapist but his dad killed that option before the first session by telling my son that this was a joke and getting defensive by the questions the therapist was asking him. I can only hope that this will come to an end soon. I understand feeling like a failure and trying not to let your kid see the disappointment and overwhelming emotions that come with your kid pooping themselves. I don't know where else to go with this, and as much as I wish none of our kids had to go through this I am glad that my son and I are not alone.
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My 10 years old daughter has Encopresis and is ADHD as well  not may girls have this . I'm not sure how it started all i know is we both want it to just go away.she says sometimes she can fill it  comeing and sometime not at     all. Doctors  all they do is start her on Lax . Stool Softers.. there got to be away for doctors to help these kids just not putting them on laxative from a hard stools to a runnie  mass until it harden  up again that *****.  Really dont thing they know what to do   . I never heard of this when i was growing up . now  kids all over  have Encopresis  and ADHD   as well what is happen to our kids . . My daughter wants to know  will it stop.  
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My 9 son has ADHD and Asperger's, and the dr. thinks he might also be bipolar.  I cannot handle the poop in his pants anymore.  He just started this in the last 2 years, and it is getting worse.  I am so embarrassed and grossed out - I don't even want to be out anywhere in public or with family with him because of the horrible smell.  He completely ruins the bathroom when he is sent to clean up - he gets poop everywhere.  He is not bothered by the smell or the feeling.  Besides the difficult behavior and the potty issue and not being able to stay dry at night yet, he is a normal and intelligent child.  The whole family is at our wits end - we don't know what else to do.  I just keep praying he will mature and it will stop.  I used to love cuddling with him but I cannot even do that now with how horrible he always smells.  We see a psychologist once a month for all of his issues, and we are done seeing the neurologist.
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my step son has this problem too and i am sure its because he is lazy he does not have add his life is a piece of cake he doesnt do anything all day but play outside with his friends and play video games all day. he prefers not to get up for anything you ask him to go clean himself and he moans and groans about everything.He does not do school work becouse he is tired and its hard he is even lazy when he plays outside. But if you tell him he is getting a new game he sure doe run fast
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My 8 year old still is incontinent at night and poops in his underwear during the day. But he doesn't at school, so I know he has some control if the stakes are high enough. During this 2 weeks Christmas break, though, he's been having daily accidents. He has a diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD, so there lies much of the problem. If he really feels the urge before it's too late, we don't know. We do know that he doesn't do it on purpose or spite. He has to clean his own dirty underwear every time, and he hates that, but not enough to stop. My theory is that he's just so mentally out-of-sync and preoccipied that going to the bathroom is a big bother and the last thing on his mind. The poopy underwear smell or feel doesn't seem to bother him a bit, but I guess you can get used to most things over time. The cause probably isn't ohysical, but it's a good idea to rule it out. I really don't have much advice, only to be consistant in how you react and how you deal with the problem. And he needs to know that it is a problem for others, even if it's not for him. What has helped our son the most is being "forced" to sit and try every day, and strangely enough he can often "poop on command" that way. If I know he does have to have a BM, I tell him he has to poop (on the toilet) before getting certain privileges. Hope this helps, believe me I KNOW how frustrationg this smelly problem is.
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Hi i am a step mother of a 9 yr old boy with mild autism who poops hz pants. We have tried all the above with restrictions and rewards when he goes. Making him sit on potty every 2 hrs and still doesnt help. Im sure he is threatened by me as most young boys who go through divorce are and then a yr ago my husband and i had a son of our own and he is threatened by my son and tries to get inbetween us. I try to give him attention he needs but he still poops hz pants. I have suggested counseling to both my husband and hz x wife and neither r on board so i feel i am in this alone and they (biological parents) come to me for answers since i am a nurse as well.  Very frustrating but hope time will resolve problems.
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We have been facing this issue with our 9yr old daughter for the past 2or3yrs. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR LETTING US KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE & OUR DAUGHTER ISN'T JUST LAZY & NASTY! I will be looking into all the recommendations. You all are an to our many many prayers. I just can't express how relieved I am!  Now, we know there is hope! God Bless you all!
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Hi all - just want to endorse the solution Rachael1985 put other there (see post on Jul 29, 2010).  It's worked wonders for us so far.  Put this post on other sites she responded too, wanted to do it here too:

Hi-
We read your posts about 20 days ago.  I'll spare you our story of our son since it's SO much the same except for the expensive therapy sessions we went to when we believed the problem might be emotional.  I ordered the primadophilus the day I read this, to be delivered 2 day air.  Since my son started the primadophilus, and we started following all the instructions in this pamphlet about encopresis from Australia, everything has been soooooo much better!  We made no adjustments to his diet other than the Primadophilus.  I think he has a while to go before the nerves wake up and he can feel again, and he is still scared of pain and wants to hold it  -some habits are tough to break.  But if we get him to eat a good sized breakfast, get him on the toilet 20 minutes later, he has a normal bowel movement 6 out of 7 days and we haven't had an accident in 3 weeks.

I want to give a strong plug for this pamphlet.  Reading it with our son, putting ourselves in the "coach" role, and getting us on the same side vs the personified "Sneaky Poo" was a real turning point for all of us emotionally as well.

http://www.narrativetherapylibrary.com/img/ps/spoo2.pdf

Thank you for this post!  You have lifted a huge weight off our family!
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My child, Alfie is constantly pooping in his pants.I am so worried he is 9 years old and has been since 5 years of age.He wears Briefs, and i have tryed Boxers many, many more.I even put him in Pullups.I have had a loads of doctors (they dont help!) Alfie, can last 20 minutes clean and then its back to square one he has never been clean for more than 30 minutes.He is not Lazy,Gets Attention,Healthy and not bullied.He thinks wearing briefs is silly.He hides them in bed,draws,wardrobe,toy box,tissue box,behind heater and in a broken freezer i sometimes see him sneak them into the washing basket and put them to the bottom so i dont see them.The teachers at school tell him to clean up.I say if he does not stop i may have to tell his friends as i ground him and they knock, they ask is Alfie coming out i say he is grounded and then they say why i have to say he has been bad,going out etc.Reward charts are too much hastle, Alfie has had a bowel x-ray.I go to a councelor for advise.When we are out he always smells of Poo and sometimes my family say resorting to knickers
in bed but i say NO! The poo is on the carpets i have recently just bought a load of Sanitary Towels as i am desprate.School send me letters saying Alfie has been (stenching) in the more polite way making the school smell a bit funny.I want to put this chart on from below on to show how many pants and checks he gets a day and to say you are not alone! Its hard work mums.

7:45AM-Puts on Underwear.
8:25AM-Check if dirty.(BEFORE SCHOOL)
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IN SCHOOL TIME
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11:00AM-Check (PLAY-TIME)
1:00PM-New Pants (LAST PAIR DIRTY :( )
3:30PM-New pants (END OF SCHOOL)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
4:55PM-Check Pants (AT HOME)
6:00PM-New Pants
7:30PM-Check Pants
8;30PM-New Pants (BEDTIME)
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Through The Night :( Bad Time

3:00AM-New pants (Others Dirty And Wet)
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6:00AM-Clean Pants and Check
6:45AM-Back To Bed
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Morning
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7:45AM-New Underwear-New DAY :|
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So really thats how my (and the teachers) day goes with Alfie and changing his pants.I must say Alfies classmates think he is going to do so Extra Maths or Have some medicine (whitch he does have medicine)
Alfie says dont tell my friends as they will laugh and he lies to me and that angers me most he says he "Cant feel It" And it simpily irratates me!

If anybody has solutions PLEASE TELL ME I AM AT MY WITS END!

THANK YOU Iam1ofDreams
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Hi what kind of med. did you get for your child to help him out maybe it will help me with my child please get back with
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Hi, well I must say with Joe,my other child things are NOT improving and Alfie things are going DOWNHILL.On Friday,there was a slight improvment but things have really went down since then today I went to buy some pants and i was really shocked as our local discount store is closing.Joe,as i said is NOT improving but everythings on the up,on the down but things look like they will be on the up so not all bad here.GainFamily424 i have written to you (with more attention) as i think you maybe able to help me! You look expierenced and If you have ANY help at all please help.NOTE:On topics http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Parenting-Children-6-12/9-year-old-soiling-pants/show/1239442 and THIS topic it might say I have 1 child this is an error,I do appoligise and this mistake will not be made again.
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8 year old poops in pants. I too have had problems dealing with my son in this area. (frustation for one). So embarassing and overwhelming at times. I have tried restrictions and scoldings and rewards. Nothing seems to work. My long awaited divorce is the problem I feel like. I kept going back to my ex. Alot of insecurities of my own. Which was confusing for me and my son. I am a believer. I just never knew who to talk to about this matter at church or any where for that matter. I started attending Celebrate Recovery which has helped alot. Its given me some accountability and a whole new family. I have now been away from my ex for 8 weeks now.(Hallelujah!)  I think we are on the right track now. I'm hoping through the stability that I continue to raise my son up in will stem good habits. And prayerfully I hope this problem we are dealing with now will be a stepping stone to glorify God even more in our future!
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Hi, new to site.  I have two step children and the boy, 12, does the same thing.  There are so many other issues as well.  He is obese, 5' 6" and weighs 190lbs., lazy, he lies, argues with me about everything.... I really have tried everything I can think of, but no luck.  It's nice to know I'm not the only one.
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Avatar_f_tn
From the time my son was 9-12, he was pooping his pants. This happened shortly after I left his dad and we had split custody. I didn't know about it for a while until I kept noticing his underwear was missing. I thought he was taking some to his dad's because he was too cheap to buy him some. He said he wasn't doing that. I asked him where they were, he said he didn't know. Finally, I decided to clean his room and found about 10 pairs hiding behind the dresser, and a few more in the closet. He had stuff piled on top of them so I didn't notice any smell. I did rewards and punishments. No change. After a year or so of this I realized that this is not a phase. So I took him to the family doctor, had x-rays done, and he was diagnosed with encropresis. He was told to take miralax and eat high fiber foods for a couple months and come back. Still his colon was backed up, and he was making more messes. Took him to a gastroenterologist. He admitted him to Children's Hospital right away for a colon cleanse using a nasogastric tube. He was there for four days. Finally, nothing was in his colon. Follow-up to the GI doctor, he said the anal wall has been stretched so much, that it will take some time for it to return to its normal state. So he was still having accidents. A year later he was still doing it. I had a test done to see if he can feel it. He claimed he couldn't feel it coming out. Came back negative for any problems. Took him to a psych for a little bit, but I couldn't afford to keep going, plus it was so far away. Had him go on his dad's medi-cal to get free services locally, but I was having so many problems with insurance (dropping mine, adding medi-cal) that no one ended up accepting us. This went on for months and I gave up. Finally, someone called CPS and once he realized that he could be taken away from home, he quit! COLD TURKEY! NOTHING! That was such a blessing in disguise. That also told me he COULD control it. This happened last year when he was 12. Now he's 13, and DOING IT AGAIN!!!!!! I am in tears and so stressed out. I know from dealing with it last time that if he doesn't stop, I will lose him, my fiance, or both. I can't handle this again. I don't understand. I read through all these posts and have done everything but hypnotism. He has no diagnoses of ADD, Aspergers or the like. In my home he has never been abused. Honestly I can't say I'm positive about his dad's. I don't think he has ever abused him sexually but how would I know? A therapist doesn't think so, and the GI doctor believes not when he did his finger test. Two mornings in a row now he has woke up to diarrhea in the bed. A lot of it. I have heard of wetting the bed, but pooping the bed? I'm so sick right now. I don't know what to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
I used to have this problem myself... I have no idea what i had all i remembr is my mom taking me to a doc office they gave
Me a shot that made me pass out and never soiled my underwear again
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a 9 year old little boy who has now off and on soiled his pants since he was about 5 years old. He was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 6 and has been on and off medication for that. The first thing that I can say is probably causing my sons issue is the trama that he has had in his life when he was 2 he was at a park with the daycare provider and he broke his arm and at 8 was riding his bike and broke his wrist. we have also moved alot for one reason or another over the last 8 years and that has taken an impact on him even though he says it does not. Another thing I have noticed is that his relationship with my husband who also has ADD is a little rocky and my husband gets very frustrated with him as do i for many other things other than the soiling. My worries and frustrations are that he does not tell us what is wrong and will not talk to me or to my husband. He just stares at you with this terrified look on his face that nomatter what he says he is gonna get into trouble. We have tried instilling in him that if he tells the truth he will not get in trouble but he still lies about it. I have gotten to the point where I do not know what to do and i am tired of crying and screaming over this. Can anyone tell me when this maddness will end. I am now at the point where i am putting him in therapy and now i feel like the reason why he is the way that he is, is because of my husband and I. Please help me.
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you ever taken him to see a therapist?  If you haven't that might be a good idea.
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Avatar_m_tn
    Hi, I normally post over on the ADHD forum and noticed your question.
First, yes - it's worth seeing a therapist.  All research I have seen indicates that getting behavioral therapy is extremely important.  Its also helpful for the parents so that they understand the best way to work with the child.
   Second, well ya - your husband is part of the problem because the trait is inherited.  But, if your husband didn't get much help for his ADD growing up (and I have seen that happen), then he may feel that your son also can "tough it out" like he did.  Wrong choice.
   Lots of reasons why kids poop in pants at this age.  As an retired elementary school principal - I was always amazed at the kids who were afraid to go into the bathrooms, or the freking teachers that refused to let the kids go to the bathroom - and so the kids tried to hold it way too long.  The ADD can also be a cause.  Does he have this problem more when he is not on meds?
   Speaking of meds.  You mention that he has been on and off them.  What kind of doctor have you been seeing.  My experience has been that parents with kids going on and off meds are seeing just a pediatrician who many times doesn't have either the experience or the time to deal with the child.  Another good reason for therapy, is to find a pediatric psychiatrist who specializes in this so you can get the help you need.
    The whole tell the truth thing and you won't get punished just doesn't work with ADD kids.  Heck it doesn't work with most kids of this age.  First, he knows he pooped.  I seriously doubt that he is doing that on purpose and now he is going to get punished?  There is a reason that, "He just stares at you with this terrified look on his face that nomatter what he says he is gonna get into trouble."  Its called learned behavior.  And you don't unlearn that overnight.
    I think it would be a very good idea for you to get the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.  She has a ton of good suggestions on ways to work with your child.  She also covers a lot of important things to help him in school.   While you haven't really given me enough information to be sure - I do get the feeling that your techniques for working with him are probably not the most successful.  This book will really help.
   Finally, if you have anymore specific questions - please start a new post over on the ADHD forum.  I will definitely see it there and will answer.  I don't really know how or why I happened to check out this post, but I am glad I did.  There is a lot that you can do to help your little guy, and I think help all of your relationships.  Best wishes!!
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Avatar_n_tn
just wondering what's your dignoses for your two 13 year old years?????they need more than diapers.
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i hope that my werdz kome out helpful:  i keep seeing the same thingz over an over an over - i kant figure why 7 an 8, why alwayz 7 an 8??  BUT i know that four weekz iz all it takez to train the brain how to perform any task with very little thought!!  To go into fuller detailz i waz born not walking till 3 an not talking till 5 - but by 6 i haz bekome average enuf to blend in, by 8 i waz almost like any other kidz, i did haz trouble with wetting sporadically, an by holding it in to fix that, i now understand frum doctorz that i messed up my bodyz normal rythum an made problum worser!!  i haz two other sisters an busy parentz, i grow up in very strict rule house, Mommy kood take away anything az punishment, BUT not able to take away one thing, since i haz medical problum with wetting, i koodnt control that, so it waz pooping.... it all began by me being next to a Friendz baby sister who pooped in her diaper, an i heard it, an bekame a lil obsessed with entertaining the possibility of me doing that.... an wat i kame addicted to waz actually the adrenaline rush caused by the situation!!  i reeely wanted all other peoplez on page to see that started az a simple game.... i started doing it on purpose, Yes it waz on purpose!!  BUT mid way into it, i losted control over it, an didnt know why then??!!  i waz terrified- knowing it waz my fault, but knowing i koodnt stop it anymor.... an it got worser an worser; an even i got embaressed an ashamed of it!!!!  i learn that computer iz like brain; an just like walking without thinking, u kan, if ur dumb enuf, train ur brain to poop automatically without thinking by teaching it to do that for too long.... So to recovery iz a full step process, u HAZ to end the game, break the power struggle inside the child, get them to admit to themselvez they done it on purpose: Ur childz will haz to chose to end it!!!!  They haz to stop aiding the problum!!!!  And then u HAZ to retrain theyr brain to not do that without thinking!!!!  U HAZ to take them step by step back thro potty-training, same way u did at first.... humiliating but itz only way to retrain brain!!  Itz like i said, the final piece of the mystery iz that they used the same method of potty-training, back wen they hid the problum an no one even knew about, wen it actually started, waaaaay back wen they done it an kept it hidden an they kept repeating that behavior, same time every day, they unknowingly taught themselvez how to do it without even thinking about it....  So to solve problum completely u may haz to werk with them an retrain theyr brain to use the toilet instead of theyr pantz.... the problumz soundz like theyr out of control; so u HAZ to werk every single angle.... u can *tell* if theyr aiding the problum, if they find sum idiotic amusment frum it.... BUT at same time u HAZ to werk on reteaching theyr brain, cuz alot of postz sayz everytime they get distracted.... thatz wen theyr false training kickz in, u HAZ to retrain theyr brain to resolve it!!  Basically a parent must figure out how child specific to crash into theyr little world and shake them back to reality, IF u can get theyr brain reprogram an get the child to own up to theyr actionz, admit it, apologize of it, bring the whole thing to a close, an get them to cooperate with repotty-training theyr brain to wait instead of auto going, and get the medical help for theyr behaviorz of holding an unbalancing theyr bodiez natural rythumz; then u will haz all the pieces put back together again!!!!  So pleeze take my advice!!!!  i use to ly like a dog!!!!  i never once admitted to Mommy until i much much older i done it on purpose, for yearz she thought it waz only a medical problum, but i know that she knew in her mind, it waz mor than that; i kood *tell* by her lookz, an sumtimez got caught even, but she did the "Just Ignore It" .... then round an round a bush to age 15!!!!  It went on for sooo long i had to be put into big baby diaperz just for the health of otherz yeeesh!!!!  i waz a nice sweet little innocent boy too, never got into any trouble; but underneath i waz jealous an hateful, an manipulative, an i knew how to make a whole book of lyz an memorize em all, an not get tripped in them.... all so i kood amuse myself with the stupidest of interests O.o  An becuz i woodnt admit to starting it, an refuse to admit, even to self, to lost control of it, it esploded completely out of hand....
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i wood say this iz only time u may EVER hear frum the other side of it!!!!  YES i did it on purpose and thought it waz sum idiotic amusment; NO i didnt do it on purpose and waz terrified of the horror i had created and lost control over; YES i wanted to do it and thought it waz adventerous and amusing and a power struggle of sumthing i kood control myself; NO i didnt want to do it, cuz i lost control of it, and koodnt keep it under my own control- eventually i ended up with none control of it!!!!  Itz an internal power struggle of Yes and No; an the fear to ever admit u created ur own problum thatz now out of ur own control!!!!  So pleeze take personal experience: Yes they kan help it, No they kant help it; seemz to alwayz be an idiotic amusment of doing sumthing so increadibly wrong itz daring; and then endz up in a fear to admit u started on purpose, but lost control after so much time, and at the same time ur still amused with the experience, but terrified of how to make it stop.... Itz The Brain, get the child to quit aiding the problum, Then get theyr brain to learn correct behaviorz regarding the event, and if any body harm waz done in the process haz that resolved with doctor help.... thatz wat it will take!!!!

Happily i waz set FREE frum it, and went on to serve in the United States Navy =D  But trust me: u will haz to break them, get them to admit to themselvez itz theyr fault, get them to accept that Mommy now haz to repotty-train theyr brain; an make sur they never ever ever do that again!!!!  Most of u haz been dealing with the on-purpose, but leaving out the accident out-of-control part; not reelizing four weekz iz all it takez to train the brain to do sumthing routinely with very little thought!!  Sorry to say, but thatz the only way!!!!  U will haz to break them down to get them to own up to it, cuz alot of postz soundz similar, a combination of medical and also willful, the childz will haz to admit to the willful, an make a positive effort to stop the problum; wen they do they will accept the training an be weaned frum theyr idiotic fascination with the nonsense, U gotta shake em back to reality, or they end up getting so bad, authorities haz them put into big baby diapers cuz of unsanitary- which it iz!!  i didnt get it, until a nurse changed me an put diaper into biohazard bin!!!!  And then it hit me.... ewwwwwww, i never took consider the biohazard and yuckiness, i waz off in my own day-dream land.... that event rattled me an brought me to realize how dumb i waz acting, an how dangerous this dumb stupid hobby waz!!!!  So i waznt broke frum it until i got shaken awake an realized the reality of it, an admitted to myself that i waz the instigator of the problum the whole time, it had bekum a physical problum out of my control, an yet i waz *still* aiding it by not using the toilet at the timez i knew i kood an shood, and i kept reinforcing the false brain program by doing that, which made the physical problumz worser!!!!  i waz 15 yearz old wen i finally got broke frum the nonsense!!!!  i ruined all of my skool yearz with my idiotic nonsense, lack of Friendz, lack of any GurlFriend, of course, an spent all my time by myself in the woodz!!!!  Mor than likely the constipation kan be caused by the childz attemptz to regrab control over a situation theyve lost control of, and they end up causing even mor harm by holding it, thinking it will solve the problum; but that just makez thingz worser, an doctorz start pushing laxativez, an it reeely spirawlz out of control then!!!!  At that point itz a disaster!!!!!!  U will haz to get the child to stop aiding the physical problumz, in order to solve the whole problum, an idk why i ever started doing that to this day O.o  Why did i start, why didnt i stop, whyd i let it blow completely out of control.... looking back i alwayz convinced myself it waz still under my control, an never admitted to myself that i had lost control, until it went to the degree of being diapered over it!!!!  i haz to be broken, being publically treated like a baby by nurses in front of other peoplez!!!!  Not recomending, BUT u will haz to get thro to them, to make them quit aiding the problum befor it goez totally out of hand, an then theyll reeely be sorry - if they bekum diaper dependant 24/7 - in frunt of Friendz an Family!!!!
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#1:
OK, frum personal experience - One Way U kood treet the not-medical-part of the problum.... Pick a time wen the childz iz at theyr worst (they have pooped pantz theyr currently wearing), try to make confrontation in theyr room, U go in an sit on theyr bed, an say; "Only One time i will do this, Cuz i want u to know that i Luv u mor than anything.... i will let u kome an sit in Mommyz lap, cuz i reely need to talk to u about sum very very important thingz that haz to do with ur future...."  sacrifice on ur part; Tell them how much u Luv them an accept them, an all the wonderful plan ideaz u haz for them.... make it very very very comforting for childz!!

Part Two: After u haz them comforted an open to hearing, gotta haz them open to hearing first: Then u begin explaining to them all the bad thingz that kan happen to them if they dont fix theyr problum, i.e. they kood be forced to wear baby diaperz, haz to go handicapped skool classes an be treated like a baby an not be able to make it end ever, cuz itz too late then!!!! Or the authoritiez kood take them away frum home an haz them put into a institution where they will haz no TV, no Video Gamez, no Friendz, an they kant go outside, just a bed an diaperz an nurses that change them an treet them like a baby, an doctorz that constantly treet them with medicinez.... either way, if this problum isnt fixed they will end up all alone, by theyself an be trapped in the problum forever!!!!

Wen u haz explained all the bad thingz that will happen if they dont stop, Then u make sur u haz theyr full attention with eyez, an tell them everytime u *know* they did it on purpose, put every time in theyr face, an remind them that u Luv them, an the planz u haz for theyr life, an the horrorz that awaitz them if they dont stop aiding the problum.... u explain that u understand it iz a physical problum, but u also understand that they r aiding the problum and allowing it to go on and making the problum get worser an worser; an state again every time u caught them doing it on purpose!!

Part Three: U explain to childz that becuz they let this happen, they haz trained theyr brain to do it; explaining how u trained theyr brain to use the toilet, an how they haz allowed theyr brain to be trained now to use theyr pantz.... Then u explain that they HAZ to be retrained to use the toilet again!!  An explain fully to theyr knowing that they HAZ to make the decision to make the problum better, if they dont chose to make it better, then they will end up in very very bad placez becuz of it, reeely bad thingz will happen if they dont choose to fix the problum, by pooping in theyr pantz on purpose wen they haz the chance to use the toilet, an they ignor it an let the problum get worser by using theyr pantz on purpose; cuz sumtimez itz an accident, but sumtimez itz on purpose.... an every time they do it on purpose, they make the problum worser an worser!!!!
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#2: (Continued)
So u tell them, every time u haz an urge to go u get az fast az u can to a toilet an sit on it, even if u already went in ur pantz, sit down on the toilet an picture in ur imagination that u r using the toilet.... fully explain over an over how they HAZ to retrain theyr brain, an that iz why they keep having accidentz, they haz taught theyr brain to use theyr pantz for too long, and itz time to stop it, befor it goez too far and Everyone will be sad and upset, especially if they get taken away an put into institution!!!!  Itz time to get to the hard factz and the harsh reality of where this iz heading!!!!  Put it in theyr face, an make them swallow it!!!!

If they pooped in theyr pantz, if possible, they haz to remove them an put the poop into the toilet, let theyr brain see the correct behaviorz, and keep performing the correct behaviorz over an over an over; keep hard on them, an get skool teacherz to do the same thing, make sur they r on the toilet if they haz poop, make sur they put the poop out of theyr pantz an into the toilet where it belongz.... an scrubb reeely well with antibacterial cleaner after!!!! By repeating correct behaviorz repetitiously whether they even want to or not, theyr brain will memorize those behaviorz; and to break them the child wood haz to intentionally make themselvez do the wrong behaviorz!!  At this point sum material a child kood understand wood be great to show them the true factz about germz, and the true reality of why poop iz sooooo disgusting!!!!

Part Four: Iz to keep doing the corrective training for four straight weekz, non-stop!!  Meanwhile, in order to break the childz out of theyr tiny bubble world- Fully explain to them: The following eventz r not for rewardz, they r specifically to show them that there iz mor out in the world: And take them to i.e. amusement parkz, or camping, or special fun places.... While ur there handle any situationz the same u wood a toddler, just deal with them, get them cleaned an done with az quickly az possible, u may even use a long explaining talk an then allow them to use a pull-up just for that time ONLY!!  Becuz u WANT them to be *fully* focused an engaged in seeing an experiencing other activitiez, an to show them that there iz much mor to the world, then theyr tiny lil universe!!  i wood highly recomend the explaining talk an use of pull-upz, so that they r not even thinking about theyr small universe at all, an u shood take kare of checking of them, but not too often, an not too big of deal: U WANT them 100% engaged into the new experiencez.... U WANT them to stop being entirely focused in a world of the problum!!!!

Part Five: Uve reached that point of Trust, Uve found a way specific to Ur Childz that u haz formed a close bound with them; now u werk with them, encouraging them with the good behavior, not for rewardz tho =/  Becuz u Luv them an want the Best for them; never focus on the negative, once u haz a tight bond there, u will find the ability to just talk with them about theyr problum, they may even eventually explain why an how they started it.... Ur role frum then on iz to keep encouraging them, no matter how bad they relapse; keep reminding them the harsh reality ahead, an the better life away frum that.... keep doing the out of the routine FUN, an letting them be in pull-upz during those timez, so the thing that seemz like the whole universe to them getz pushed to the very back, an kan be dealt with very swiftly an quickly!!!  Only a parent who iz a Friend, and an Understanding Mentor kan help the childz let go of the tiny known universe an venture out into the unknown world beyond!!!
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#3: (Continued)
So i emphatically stress!!!!  Dont sweat the problum, remain focused on the solution, the encouragement, an create an maintain a close tight bond with the childz; the problum may go an kome back; it kood kome back jus bad az at the first, BUT Parent HAZ to remain firm: keep leading them towardz another future, get theyr focus off of the problum; make this issue the same az tying shoe stringz... wen it needz to be handled, u handle it, wen itz done itz done, u dont mention it anymor throughout the day; U haz set timez to talk about it, affirming the child that u iz with them, an u Luv them an want to help them haz the Best life possible!!!  *Any problum that bekomez the ONLY known universe around sumone, totally immersed in it, will take over theyr whole life an block out anything else in the rest of the world*!!!! ;)  Thatz a Fact!!!!

Show the problum that u mean business, itz not gonna haz ur childz, an kick that stupid problum out of the house, an replace it with positive thingz.... then deal with the minor situationz with ur child in a healthy an take-kare-of-it way!!  Az soon az they start to stumble, u wanna rush in with positive encouragement; ask them wat they mite want u to do to help them.... take theyr feedback an act on it if itz a well-to-do idea, for example a child may say, "Wen at home, Mommy, kan u remind me certain timez to get up an go sit on the toilet, that way ill get used to it again, cuz i forgot how to do that."  U put the rest of the world in frunt of the childz, an like i said deal with theyr problum the same u wood handle shoe string tying, eventually a child leanrz shoe string tying, itz no big deal.... proper training and affirmation will kure the short-komingz, an that will kure the problum!!!  Just Take It Step By Step; Expect Pitt Fallz, Expect Sum Relapses, Stay Focused On The Prize: Ur Childz Health An Brite Future; And Deal With The Set Backz Az Important To Address, But At Same Time In A "No Biggie, We Kan Resolve This" Attitude ....

Position Urself Az Ur Childz Team Coach, U Want Them To Win, Ur Theyr To Help Them Win, Let Them Know That Ur Theyr To Help Them .... Accept Ur Child, And *Show* That By Respectfully Listening To Theyr Obserd Reesonz For This Situtation, And *Kindly* Talking Them Thro Much Better Alternativez Beyond The Situation!!!  ***Never Ever Correct A Childz Openess About A Bad Behavior*** U Will Kut Them Off And Shut Them Down; Simply Hand Them Better Alternativez To The Bad Behavior, And In That U Will Gain Theyr Trust And Theyr Respect, And They Will Open Up Mor An Mor!!!

Wat u will most likely eventually find iz that this situation iz a very very bizarre obsession, and requirez the firm an focused kuring of it that a drug addict requirez to get off drugz, an it also tendz to haz a few hard relapses befor the person getz out of theyr obsession of it!!  An that iz why u Must approach it frum a Luving an Karing an Accepting role to the child- Luv the child, and wean them away frum theyr obsession!!!  It must be dealt with respectfully so that u haz the childz on ur side, and then it must be replaced with sumthing positive.... pull the childz away frum it and get rid of it completely, so they kan start focusing other thingz, an move on frum all of it; then let it fall off a cliff into the forgotten past!!!!

IF U LUV UR CHILDZ, TRULY LUV UR CHILDZ, THIS WILLWERK IN THE LONG RUN, THEY KAN ACHIEVE TOTAL FREEDOM!!! =D  ~ONE TINY PATIENT STEP AT A TIME~
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi, I was searching in the net about my childhood problem and I found  this forum I am 33 now, I have gone through this...

I remember it started when I was in class 3 or 4, I use to poop in my pants When I was in class, control it till the end till the recess/ break bell rings and when I run and enter the toilet it comes out, my pants my socks all becomes dirty, I clean it however the smell doesn't go I travel in bus with wet pants and socks in my pants pocket every body would give me strange look I happened now and then.

REASON: Parents if you are reading this I have beared this, let not your child come across this.

Father please respect your wife its not only your wife but my mother too, I love her. ( My father use to beat my mother to death for silly reasons in front of us we had no option to cry looking @ them) we  were kids we didn't know how to respond)

Mother please revolt dont get exploted please  teach us how to revolt in life we learn from you.

I can challenge you If you care and give love and spread love arround your child he will be out of this dirty situation.

Still that impact is in my life, I cannot forget the stress and humiliation.

Parents If you cannot live together separate but please dont spoil a childz life PLEASE
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Avatar_n_tn
I am going thru the same thing. There is an family history of this in my husband family and we have had my son tested many time and the dr all say nothing is wrong the dr is was it is  ENCOPRESIS. Dr told us first it was lack of fiber and we tried gummy  fiber things and it was clogging him up. Many people really dont think about this  Honestly I dont htink dr think about this also. Im going to try Putting my son on an glueten free diet. And see if that works. That could be the problem and many people dont not thin of this. So Im going to buy an book on gluten free foods. It would be interesting to find out how well this work since many american are proving to glueten problems.
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Avatar_m_tn
I would just like to share my story from when I was younger, as it may help some to understand from a child's point of view. I was potty trained at an avergae age, without any issues, and apart from the occasional accident that every child has once in a while there were no further problems.

However, when I was about 6 or 7 I was out somewhere and went to a public toilet to poo. Unfortunately, the lock got stuck and i was locked in for about 10 minutes, and got a little scared. I didn't really think anything about it once I'd got home and I seemed pretty unscathed. However, after a few days started to dislike going into a toilet to poo where I would have to lock the door. (I was at a boarding school, so you had to lock the door otherwise someone might walk in.) So basically, I stopped pooping and just tried to hold it in. After a couple of days I was getting really bad stomach cramps, so I decided that instead of going to the toilet, I would just poop my pants. That night I just put my soiled undies in the laundry. This continued for a long time, and it eventually became a habit. Oddly, the fear of the toilet seemed to go away, as there were a few occasions at school where I realised I had to go but didn't want anyone to see me. So I went into a toilet, shut the door, and then squated a bit to poop in my pants.
This continued untill I was about 11, and it had gradually got worse and worse, and more and more embarassing in some ways. When I was at school, every night when we were getting ready for a shower before bed, I had to go to the Matron's office to get undressed, so she could check my underpants to see if and how much I had soiled them. My pooping became very irregular, and if I needed to go in the middle of the night I used to get out of bed, put a pair of briefs on under my pyjamas and poop in them, take them off, put them in the laundry and go back to bed.
The only way to stop this happening was basically to re-potty train me over one summer. My mum started to treat the issue very matter-of-factly, and when I did poop my pants, rather than leaving me to sort it out myself, she would take me upstairs and help me get changed immediately. And every hour or so she would ask me if I needed to go to the toilet, and if I said yes she would take me to the toilet and sit there with me while a did a poo. This was a slow process, but at least it did work eventually. I stopped pooping my pants about 2 months after I turned 12.

So basically, from my point of view at the time, it was caused by a very minor event that I didn't really think anything of, it then became a habit and things like having my pants checked every day by an adult just became part of my daily routine, and the only way to stop it was with love, patience and care. Hope this helps.
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Thanks for the comment!  You actually helped me to remember something I had completely forgotten about... Back when I was in Junior High School, first few days into school year, everything was fine, and everything seemed to be going smoothly.

But an event happened that changed everything!  I had to go use the restroom and without thinking I tucked in my T-shirt afterwards... because of my tiny waist and long legs, as soon as the other kids saw, they began teasing me!  In a single instant I became the joke of the whole school... and it was all because I had to go and use the restroom... if I never had went to use the restroom I would never have tucked in my shirt!

So... that's what triggered my hatred of the potty at such an older age!  I blamed the toilet and my need of peeing!  So I took an act of defiance against the whole matter altogether, and I made my own choice to start peeing in my pants instead of using the dumb potty!  Since everyone already laughed at me, and it was the stupid toilet's fault, and I didn't get why bother going to the potty, when I'd just have to go back again a bit later...

So, I started peeing in my pants and not paying a bit of attention to it.  Sometimes in gym class everyone was so busy outside and I could slip out of conscious view of others, I would pee my pants, and then they would dry out, and then later I'd pee the same pants again... reinforcing my improperly formed beliefs that using a potty was a waste of effort and time.

I was only a little boy, and didn't even know I was Autistic, which my parroting of simple phrases and sentences I recorded inside my brain from conversations I heard around me and on TV made me even more of a joke in school!  None of my teachers ever thought I paid any attention in class, because my rudimentary automatic-response phrases were most often completely off topic and made no sense at all.  So, I had absolutely no reason to have a shred of care about my personal well-being or self-esteem... I had none!!

But, because of your post... now I remember that day... I went in and used the restroom toilet... and tucked in my shirt... and it caused me to be laughed at and ridiculed... and because of that I developed a hatred for the need to go potty... and that was what launched my backwards idea that I would just quit caring altogether and let my body do whatever it did without any care at all!  That is what started the whole daytime wetting situation, which lead to nighttime wetting, and it eventually went all the way to pooping in my pants; because I didn't care, not one bit at all.

Yes, it upset me, Yes I was sad of it all, but after so much time, I lost where it all began, and couldn't even see any light of hope beyond it all.  I just tumbled down into a huge, sinking hole that lead me all the way down to full diaper dependence!!!!  To the humiliation of being changed by my own older sister! =/  That's very disturbing for an older child, to be changed by your own siblings!  And to know that your younger siblings are fully potty-trained and fully self-reliant on top of that humiliation and shame!

That is why I keep saying to others... this problem only gets worse over time... the situation does not resolve itself... it breeds more and more shame and deep depression... my childhood included an eight year long deep, deep depression all because of this problem!  It cost me social life, friends, and even most damaging- girl friends!  It was endlessly sad and horribly depressing.  And I had that problem until age 15 years old!!!!  It wasn't until massive and strict intervention that the problem was finally dealt with!

There is HOPE... But you must Deal with the problem head-on, unwaveringly!  You *Must* deal with the problem and resolve it!!

For those struggling with this issue of diaper dependence in older children: I suggest going back to what worked since the very beginning... cloth, cotton diapers!  They leave the child feeling soggy and smelly, and very uncomfortable while using them - and they reinforce strict potty-training, and set the child Free from diaper dependence!!! 9 outa 10 anyways!

This is the Best website I has found thus far: www.clothdiaper.com

- they has youth pull-on diapers, 100% cotton in sizes from 16" waist up to 25" waist; they also carry an All In One cover to go over the pull-on diapers... so your child will have on a full cloth diaper that can be pulled up and down with no pins, no snaps, and no Velcro, the cover is the same... giving your child the full ability to pull them down on their own and use the potty all by themselves... and if they don't go and use the potty, the 100% cotton will become soaked and wet and soggy, even though their clothes stay dry on the outside, inside they feel like they have on wet pants the whole time they have the wet diaper on.  Finally, make a firm stand to make your child wash out their own poopy messes in the bathtub - especially if you get a shower sprayer on a hose - and you will make them have to stop ignoring their problem and face it, and deal with it!

So that they can move on!!!

These products may also work for the pants poopers, simply making it easier on Mommy! =)  You get extra protection, and yet the feel and function of regular underwear.  BUT you must always use caution... if your child is using regular underwear like a diaper, you gotta find a professional who can help you!!  You have Got to find out why!!  You've Got to put an end to it as quick as possible!!!!

A lot of posts on here seem to be at the stages I was, right before I was forced to wear diapers!!!!  Because I used my underwear so much like a diaper, it just finally made more sense to have me wear disposable diapers, prescribed by the doctor even!  BUT all that did was ruin my life and explode the problem beyond imaginable levels!!!!

IF your child still wears regular underwear, depending on their size, try to find some cloth potty-training pants for reusability perhaps, but I would certainly recommend buy a simple, plastic cover, just the cover, without any extra absorption, and place that over their underwear, just to make it easier on yourself! =)

Best place I know of is this: pottytrainingconcepts.com

These are not links... they are internet addresses: type them into the search bar and hit enter and you will be taken to the store fronts where you can explore their products for yourself!

ALL of my children use cloth diapers at home, and disposables away from home.  Anytime they stay within walking distance of home, they use cloth diapers, anytime beyond walking distance they use disposables.  During young years the proper combination of cloth and disposables can facilitate ease of potty-training and ease of dealing with diapered children on-the-go!  At nighttime my children use extra plush cloth diapers, soft covers, and washable bed pads pinned to the bed with diaper pins at the four corners to hold the pads in place all night! =)  It's more difficult to do things that way, but the ability of a young child to know they have soiled themselves vs moisture wicking disposables, causes them to seek out the potty much faster!  That's why it works so much better! ;)

"Just because I had a rough start doesn't mean anything to me.... it's all about how you *Finish* that matters most!!!" =D
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These comments have been so helpful!  We've been struggling with this with my 8 year old for a couple years.  It feels good to know we're not the only family dealing with this!
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A lot of the times, it is caused by "Sensory Integration Disorder". I don't doubt that many children with SI disorders also have stress and trauma, leaving people to believe that the stress has caused this. But until you recognize and treat the SI, your child is going to continue having problems.

There is lots of info on the web about it, just google it. But in a nutshell there are several types of SI, the kind my son has, and most likely many of your children have, is Hyposensitivity.

He can't feel sensations very well on or in his body. He literally can NOT feel that he has to poop or pee.

When I asked my son once why he couldn't sit still for even a minute he told me it was because when he wasn't moving, his whole body felt numb and he didn't like that feeling.

This is why he is always seeking out high sensory activities, like jumping, crashing into things, rocking in his chair, running into other kids, etc. Usually these kids (if they are diagnosed at all) are diagnosed ADD, which is not correct.

After reading a lot of these entries, I just get the feeling lot of these kids are undiagnosed SI disorders. Please try to believe them when they tell you they don't feel it, I bet many of them can't, and feel even worse that no one believes them.
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I am a single father and my son is now 9...His problem has been ongoing but in spurts...He had been diagnosed with mild autism...I noticed that when i take away his D.D.i, his main focus in life..his problem dissolves..Yet when he starts playing it again too much his problem comes back with a vengeance..He is an A student...His Mother is mostly never in his life..When she does come back his problem comes back..We moved to a new school, his problem comes back...a lot of it is focus...stress anxiety, and focus...When his life is balanced, he seems balanced..Less electronics time..More potty time...and yes discipline..as a single parent it is easy to let this slip back in as work overwhelms us..I did the mira-lax thing...It is mostly the focus away the potty due to stress of worrying about pleasing new teachers, Daddy..Friends...Once the ball gets rolling and kids tease him, He gives up..He says there are no stalls in school and he cannot use their public potty...There is so much to it..But discipline and staying on top of it are the key...Make sure He/she goes before or after school on the potty...Less worry for the day..he says he cannot feel it but I think he holds it in because it mostly occurs when he is heavily concentrated on games...He is autistic..it makes his situation ten times worse as he fidgets in class and can't sit still annoying the whole class...Make sure He goes on the potty before and after school....Miralax can help him go at those times...But also make the school aware to help deal with the problem in a way as to not embarrass him or her..My son tried cleaning up his own mess and at least he tried...to wash his drawers..is a good sign he is maturing...I take some of the blame for being tired after work and taking a nap..also babysitters fail to do their job...is a tough one..If your son or daughter is add or austistic, chances are its a focus issue...My Doctors all said he is physically fine...I am sure it's focus..and stress....The not knowing part is a fib..of shame....Take the games away and reward him or her, yet stay involved to help them focus..on their needs not their worries..also discipline them when they slip up...They need that reminder...cleaning their own undies won't hurt a bit...Just one Dad's opinion..
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HI!!!  I have read every post on this site and I am so glad to find that I am not alone in all this. I have read up on many different topics. Glad to say i will be taking my daughter to the dr as soon as they can get her in to have all this checked out. I thought maybe she just didnt want to go to the bathroom. Maybe she was too busy playing or watching tv.  There isnt a day that goes by that she doesnt have dirty underpants atleast 3 to 4 times a day. She still has to sleep in pullups cause she wets the bed at night and sometimes has BMs also. I have tried talking to her and explaining how nasty and disgusting this is but it doesnt seem to fase her. If we smell it and ask her did she poop her pants she says NO and then as soon as we check of course there it is. I have a 18 month old that I am working on introducing the potty to and I am only hoping she doesnt pick up on this thinking it is ok. Like many of you have seen she hides them in other clothes in the dirty clothes or hides them in her room or simply throws them away. We have often wondered where alot of her underpants are going and then discovered alot in her room and in garbage. We have tried punishing her no tv no games no toys just sitting and doing nothing. She has a very healthy diet and me and her father are together no arguing or anything. So I know its nothing emotional at home.
I have had friends tell me that they wouldnt put up with it from their children they would whoop them but they dont understand. I thought about that but if we were to whoop her we would never do anything but punish her. I just cant understand whats going on and hoping the dr can help me out. I understand that more boys have this problem more than girls but I am seriously wondering if she doesnt have ADHD or ADD as we have other problems on top of the pooping. I really hope this site has helped us out. As from this day forward we will be trying anything possible to get this resolved. Thanks for all your help....
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my step son had this problem few month before I come into his life. for me it was at frst a question of hygiene, for his mom it was emotional.. so the gastro enterologist, the psychologyst, and so on.. and the money out for me to find out that moisten wipes have helped him. he was 9 years old and brutally I told him , after asking him gently to use the wet butt wipes, to clean up after bowel movment, and when he refused, I showed him how to do , using my left hand fold like it is a behind and the right holding the wipe. I showed him how really to apply the wet wipe to make it real clean and remove all smears...off... OR.. i said I will do it to you My self:!!! (which was a joke for me... but not for him...) so he wiped and since that day, no more soiled undies... I have thrown so many away... a waste of money... and drama for some...
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If you wahs the underwear with good soap, you shouldn't need to throw them away! I tell kids if they want to poop their pants they need to learn to clean up and clean them selves. This will either get them to stop, or relive you of the worries of cleaning!
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I am a 60 years old and this brings back painful memories of my youth.   I pooped in my pants 'til I was 12.     My parents tried everything, including my father putting the feces filled underwear on my head and rubbing the feces into my face.   I still don't know what caused it, but I suspect it started as a young boy when I simply didn't want to take the time to poop.   That and the fact that my father abused me physically and emotionally.   After a while, I became extremely constipated; bowel movements only every three days.   It simply hurt to poop.  

Nothing worked until, at age 12, my angry and frustrated father gave me an enema.   Problem solved.  Once the enema (the only one of my life) was forcibly administered, it changed my life.  The good news is that it solved my pooping problem.   The bad news is that I have never forgiven him for rubbing feces in my face.     I haven't spoken to him in more than 45 years and never will.   He was in the military and had access to free medical for our family.  Why he chose to torture me instead of seeking medical help I will never understand.    As hard as it may be, please be patient with your child's problem.  There is a reason and a solution.  Perhaps my experience can help someone.  
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i too am having this same problem.my adopted daughter is turning 10 years old and still poops her pants we too have tried everything. we have had her since 4mos old. no abuse in the household,we do not spank her either.we also have tried the take away things this does not help.her worst time is at night when she does the complete bowel movement so we have to have diapers every night.she also goes some in her pants during the day.when ask why she does this she just looks at us and says i don't know when i have to go. she too has been checked and i am told there is nothing wrong and she knows when she has to go,she just want go. i don't know the background on her natural father nor her mother. i just hope to get some insight on this,see if anyone has found a solution.we had not seen a therapist yet.
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I have go through all the post. My problem is bit different. My son is gonna 5 this November. We did not face this problem before. When he started his school, this problem started. He wet his pant and pooping at pant during the school time. But beside school he is normal. Notice before pooping, go to the bathroom all are normal. But in school he goes for urination for 3/4 times and often poop in his pant. I tried to clear his bowl before school. But no help. Weather he go to the toilet early in the morning or not, he poops at school. Class teacher notify me and seems she is bored with this. I talked with the poor boy, it seems that he feels tension. Now I started to use diaper during his school. But I dont know how can I get relief of this. Can anyone suggest me about this. Pls help.
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and here is another option issue after going thru all of the above except for ..rachel1985 which i will try asap...and changing Drs we have one treating our 10 yr old that has poo and bed wetting issues he would have to wear pullups no matter what we did,..he asked my wife if she had yeast infections while pregnant with the twins ..she had many ...he believes our boy twin has a severe yeast infection and has him on a liquid med that they treat newborns with...well he said things might get way worse before they got better ..he was not kidding ..after that rough patch the bed wetting has stopped some leakage now and then ..still working on the poo problem ..the med is called..nystatin...doing this twice aday for 3 months ...hope this helps someone as knowing we were not alone takes the edge off and yes we have checked out other sites but not one with this much good info.....
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I understand where your comming from, My son is 9 years old and he does the same thing. I'm recently remarried and the guy I married to is great with my son and we have a 2 year old together. My husband spends more time with my son than his real father. My son father never keeps him, his step mother does. He doesn't even spend time with him when he doesn't work. He's step mom talks bad to him, she tells him he's Fat. If that's not stressful for the child, he got in a wreck in "09" and then the same year his father shot himself. He could have died but he's alive. Then it goes from all of this to his Step mother and I not getting along.  To be spiteful they( his father and stepmom) change their phone #;s where we couldn't reach them and they Never even got him on Christmas. It went to a180 some days that they never wanted or even tried to see him. Then I got a letter from their Lawyer and was going to put me in jail. My son has to deal with crazy suff like this all the time from his father and Step Mom. I try to be the adult in all of this when they want to act like children. My son done really well when he didnt have to go too his fathers house. He's now starting back the pooping on himself and tried to hide his underwear and not only that deny that he done it. He's hooked on the games too! Plus the computer. I have limited him to a 30mins a day on all of it. I even make him go to the toliet when he farts, he goes around making fart nosies too. He can't focus on things and he lets adult stuff bother him when he needs to just be a child and have fun. His Step mother drills him when he's at there house and he comes home telling me things she has done. Yet cant tell the father nothing cause he care more about his wife than our son. My husband takes time out and makes plans with my son to get closer to him! He even told me that if his father sign his rights over he would love to adopt him. It's so hurtful to see my son tramatized but theres nothing I can do about it! The courts here will not listen or understand. Plus his father and step mother are now having a baby of there own. They have even went to the point of where they are taking my son's room and making his room the babys room and his new room is going to be in a walk in room. He came to me upset over this! I live in a house with just 2 Bedrooms and I have another child he still little. I never kick him out of his room because I had another child. I feel like thats a part of it too. He asked me all the time  "why doesnt daddy love me?" " When this baby comes is daddy still going to have anything to do with me?" I really don't know what to tell him. I just tell him that he needs to asked his dad that question. I hope that he doen't throw our son down after this other child comes, but the way these 2 people are more than likely they will! I have even took my son to see a therypist but yet it didn't help. The doctors gave him Mirlax too! The ER has gave him Magniuse to help him but yet he still does this. He was doing so good but now back to the same old thing. When I fould his underwear in the bathroom I got on to him and told him. "Hey you dont need to be doing this again... and it just makes things worse for you." "I love you but this is not a way to go about things.." He like girls at his school and wants a girl friend, but its hard to have a gril friend when you smell like poop. I have talked to him about this to try to encourge him to stop pooping on him self. I'm thinking of checking on ADD and the Enporesis ( I think I spelled that right) but something has to be done... I'm glad to know that I'm not alone and that its more than just being mean or Lazy! I feel like I might be able to get honest answers now! Thank your for posting your story. Yours really stood out because your story is simlar to mine!
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my son is 10 years old he doesn't take time to take a poop and one day i took him to school and i left and then a couple  hours  later i came back and i took him home and he was picking his butt and then my husband notticed it and he went to change his clothes and there was poop all in his under where and he said that his friends dared him to and said he could have gum if he did so then he went to bed and he woke up screaming i asked him what was wrong and he said his butt stung really bad and i i took him to the restroom and i wiped his butt and there was poop and i put him back to  sleep and then in the morning (satuday) i got him a apontment and the doctor checked him out and took stool and his poop was all bloody and i was thinkin that mabye he was taking to big poops then when the resualts came back they said that his bows where punctured and he can't controll when he poops and they considered a surgery and he got the surgey and all it was was sticking a tube up his butt and then celling it wi a past like matireal and then he felt much better and he never pooped his pants agian only in the restroom
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I was looking for some information for my 3 year old daughter and came across this post...her issue isn't as urgent, but I couldn't help but notice that about 99% of these post are "sons"...no daughters?  Do you think it is something different in boys?  We have had problems with two of our daughers passing very, very LARGE stools...so large that they wont flush.....and we have been to several pediatricians who say its pretty normal?  Anyhow, I would honestly drop the pediatricians and go to a family doc or gastro..good luck to you all.
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Hello Sally I was reading your comment and it sounds like my son could have this Encopresis.  He is 8 and willl be 9 in january he has been soiling his under wear for the last year or so and I dont know why he does it me and my husband are very worried about him. We have asked him are things ok in school and with childeren he plays with but he says nothing is wrong. He hides his under wear when he does it but most of the time we know he has done it because you can smell him and we dont want him to get laught at in school or bullied so if you can help it would be really appreciated thank you.
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I think the 15 year old boy is telling you something very important.  Try to ask yourself what had change in your or your little one's life when he was 5 years old?  Anything traumatic happened?  Did you have a new relationship or perhaps anything happen in school, chruch, or any other public place?  The reason I'm asking all these questions because your child did not have this problem all along.  It only started at age of 5.  The lady that had an ADD child that had happened all his life.  I'm not sure if she should be the one to compare to.  Just be cautious and analyse his behavior around certain people.

Good luck!
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I am a single Mom w/a a good, happy boy.  He's 6 yr old, very bright, but we have a problem.  He has "poop" accidents that are becoming more frequent.  Let me start from the beginning..

First of all, my son has a phobia of alligators..so bad that he stands up to wipe because he's afraid an alligator will come up through toilet.  Same issue in the bath tub.. when letting water out he JUMPS out so fast.  He won't use a shower nozzle to rinse his hair either.  A couple of years ago, I noticed some poop in the bath tub while he was STILL IN IT.  I asked about it and he eventually told me that he picks the poop out because it feels good.. he said it feels goood on the sides..?  I have handled this in SO MANY DIFFERENT ways.. 1st being careful not to shame him, yet STRESSING that POOP IS POISON..  about a yr ago he started having poop "accidents".  He waits till the last minute & he doesn't get there in time.  This has happened 4x's in 7 days..??

I have told him NOT TO PLAY WITH HIS BUTT in the tub, but how can i expect him to stop when he says it feels good?  I have reacted every possible way.  My main concern is that if any of his classmates catch on that he is having accidents at school, he'll be made fun of and won't make any friends.  Please, ANY INPUT, good or bad, WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
Signed,
K's Mama

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My son is 23 and still has this problem.  
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We have a 8 year old who still poops in his pants we have done everything treats, rewards everything.. We brought him to the doctor and nothing is wrong. He doesnt care that he sits in it when he does it. He talks to a counselor and still nothing helps.
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I had this prob till i was 15. Many adopted kids do. Especially when its made clear u are adopted. Non adopted kids will do this 2. Its a way to control your life. Young kids want to have control and this is a way to gain control. I hate to say it but sexual abuse can cause this also. It is another way to take control. As an adopted child, be honest, but explore everything. Thx
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Your comment was about the best 1 to make me feel better as I have an 8 yr old and a 9 yr old that both still soil their pants, yet our eldest who is nearly 19 didn't have this problem at all.It makes you feel like a failure and never sure of whether you are giving them too much attention of it or whether you should ignore the issue and just get them to clean up.Trouble is my daughter went away for  a week with the school and was clean all week!! So she knows she can do it.Half the time I believe its when they are playing games or doing things they don't want to leave and just try holding it.My doctor hsa told me that they will grow out of it too but you do tend to lose faith.I take my hat off to everyone that has to deal with this problem.
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My husband has a son who came to live with us when he was 8 yrs old and would use a diaper to go to sleep.  I assume the diaper situation never ended and when he began living with his father and I in the US he was 8.  He lived in South America and his mother had to deal with this problem as well.  He was embarrassed when we told our friends that he wore diapers to sleep.  He did not want anyone to know about it during sleep overs.  This diaper usage ended till about the age of 10 and then he bagan popping in his pants.  Many times while in the car the smell was horrific that I thought on many occasions that I stepped on dog poop or taht one of the kids did.  I had no idea that it was my son's husband pooping in his pants and causing that awful smell.  I became very unhappy, upset, and angry with my husband for not telling me this problem and felt he was not doing a good enough job to dicipline or figure out a way to solve this problem his son was having.  No punishments were made, no scolding, no privelges taken away, and allowed him to keep his hair long like Justin Bieber.  I thought, how is this 11 yr old boy going to stop pooping his pants.  As parents we were embarrassed and I had no say or knew about this problem.  How embarrasing to be around an 11 yr old boy who smells awful like dog poop.  I am so unhappy because my husband does not want me to discuss this with no one or publicate this, speak to a doctor about it, and is handling it all on his own without asking for my help or advise.  We apparently are not in this together.  
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I had an issue like that with my stepson...he didn't get up to use the bathroom if he was busy or playing outside, video games, etc... I would make him pause & have him come in & sit on the toilet to go, about every 2hours or so. Just like potty training all over... then if he would go in his underwear id make him clean it himself... took time & patience, but it worked.. maybe he didn't like having to clean up after himself... he also wet the bed. I cut back on the water intake at a certain time, made him use the bathroom before bed & wake him up in the middle of the night to go again... if he went again, id cut the drinking time back by an hour. He eventually stopped.
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& he did have ADHD & he did this from age 9-11.
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Thank you so much for your post. I cried when I read it because I was at my wits end with my son who will be 10 in 2 months. He also has ADD/ADHD diagnosed only last year but I have been having potty issues with him since day he began potty training at around 1 1/2 or 2. Not so much the urinating but the pooping. He did not seem interested. He would soil his pants & it did not seem to bother him. When he started the ADD/ADHD  medication it seemed to help but, it has now been a year and he is at it again. Poops his underwear daily. I have him hand wash his underwear hoping it will help. I can't stand this anymore. He says he cant tell that he pooped on himself. How can you not tell? I was beginning to think I should take him to a gastroenterologist to see if something is physically wrong with him.  I will pray and I will read up on ENCOPRESIS. Thank you again for a bit of hope in this very frustrating situation. God Bless You & your son.
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i know this is rather late on this subject but my 12 year old son still poops his pants and there is no abuse in the home ever since he has beeen potty trained he has never been able to poop in the toilet on a regular and we have been to the doc and the phsyc also and like the other poat i read the smell and on tp of it being uncomfortable i would think does not seem to bother him help
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for a 17 year old it may be related to something called infantilism. The pants pooping might be his way of regressing back to his baby years, he was probibly trying to tell you in his own way that he wants to wear diapers. I know this because i myself am an Adult Baby.
That means i want to be a baby it does not mean im sexualy atracted to babies or children. Infantilists or not pedophiles so please dont go barking down that road.

I used to poop and pee my pants all the time as a child, though i wouldent say every single day, it was my way of trying to tell my parents that i wanted to be in diapers. It dident work because most people know nothing about infantilism since its classed as a taboo. Understanderbly parents would be absaloutly terrified and very concernd if their child just started asking them to be put back in nappies.

Most children would be to embarised, to freaked out, to ashamed and to guilty of their owen desier to wear a diaper again to directly ask their parents anyway. A infantilist ushualy develops the desier to wear nappies when they are a child between the ages of 5 and 7, this is ushualy a triggerd response from either some form of abuse, a significant event, a traumatic event or enviromental factors such as bullying, sibling rivelry or neglect.

Infantilism is not a syndrome, illness, psycological disorder, condition, desise or infection it is a lifestyle choice. If you were to look at it as a syndrome of psycological condition then it is safe to say that there is no cure. Out of  americas population of just over 300 million, just under 64 million are infantilists.
A small number have tried to seek "treatment" but all have ended up dependent on anti psychotic medication and with severe mental health issues.

This is because there is no profeshional outside the infantilist community who knows anything about infantilism. They just dont want to know.

The best way to treat infantilism is to try and catch it before it develops, that is to try and treat it before the child develops the desire to wear diapers.

Look for signs of wetting and soiling, if the child asks for a nappy ask him or her if they would like to wear diapers or underwear, if they choose diapers, then let them wear diapers for a week. Ask them if they would like to be treated like a baby, if they say yes then do so for that week.

The purpose of this is to make the child feel at content, relaxed, stress free, happy and at peace you are taking away responsability from the child because, as they say in horse training, "to much weaigh on a yong foals back can break the back".

At the end of week one you should try to wean your child of the diapers and the babying if they have requested that. If you encounter tears and resistence, sit your child down and set out a plan of action. Let your child decide how long they want to be in diapers and how long they want to be babied for, but make shure they understand for every action of babying they chose they will have to let go of one of their big kid activities.
The length of the regreshion also has significant implications as well, they need to understand that they can not be regressed longer then 4 months, they may get nappy rash and that they may get bullied at school.

Obviously you dont have to put them in a crib but if they ask for a crib that you can by cot sides at argos for £10 - £25.

Treat the whole thing as you would a 3 year old regressing due to the birth of a new baby. If you follow the above advice they will snap out of it and both yourself and your child will never have to deal with the sociological problems asociated with infantilism.

Once the care plan has been followed through you can begin to wean them of the babying and the diapers. A toilet training refresher course may be nesicery if they chose the full 4 months as long term use of diapers may have weakend the bladder and bowel mucels.

All that being said Infantilism is very rare, and while there may be just under 64 million infantilists in america thats just one country. the UK has a poulation of just over 59 million and there are only 334 infantilists that i know of.

*****A note modiraters and admins******
In the past i have posted detailed explinations of infantilism on various websites not only to try and increase understanding of it in the genral public but to also try and clear up common misconceptions related to it.
Unfortunatly these have mostly been delted by the modirators and admins of those sites who feel the topic is inappropriate. I post this hear because this is a medical help forum, the topic is soiling in children and my post is related to something wich is also related to soiling in children. Psycology is by its very definition a medical science it is a science of the mind. and while infantilism may start out as psycological it almost always ends up as a non psycological life style choice. while the method for preventing it starting may seem unorthidox it has been proven to work by many other infantilists who have used this with their own children.
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My son has been going through this since around 8 years old. He is 9 but soon to be 10.  I feel better hearing all the stories of families dealing with this issue.  You get to the point where you feel like a bad parent and that you caused this to happen.  My son soils almost on a daily basis and hides his underwear under piles of clothes. Naturally I walk in his room and smell it. It's horrible!  When I ask him if he had an accident, he denies it.  I show him the evidence.  He says he has trouble wiping, but it's a much bigger issue.  I will definitely look into encopresis. As a parent you don't want to think anything is wrong with your child and that they are in control of things but the truth is, he may not be in control.  He may have digestive issues, or like others he might be ADD. Either way, I'm at wits end and will definitely have to seek some professional help through an MD and/or Psychologist.
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I had the same problem with my son. He is 9 and it started when he was around 5. I tried what I thought was everything. I took him to the doctor and he told me that it was quiet common in boys and to give him laxative regularly because he was constipated. The doctor said that kids get too constipated they will use the bathroom on themselves without even knowing it and that if it hurts to poop they will hold it in.  After leaving the doctor my son told me it did hurt to poop so I started giving him stool softness and laxatives regularly and it helped him. Hopefully this helps you.
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has anyone ever heard of ENCOPRESIS? This is something I just found out due to my nephew being hospitalised with this condition. It consists of the intestines being back up so bad and packed to the point of the kids honestly not being able to porperly use the toilet because they can't get rid of the pack poop. My nephew was hospitalised for five days and was given a high fibre diet along with sone laxative medication he had to take 2 times a day along with getting enemas and eating lots of fruits and veggies and lots to drink. The way they were with him was he was only allowed to eat for a half hour, then wait 10 mins then go sit on the toilet for ten minutes. A whole week of this along with x-rays and other thing to check him and he finally got out yesturday but this is a condition that he'll have to deal with his whole life. They also used a sticker program with him for pooping and peeing when he did then he would get rewarded somehow. According to his dr's, bananas, cheese and milk product dont bind you up unless you eat too much of it. Consuming it in moderation if fine. So like only 1 banana a day, 1-2 slices a day of cheese, and a cup or two of milk or milk products aday if fine. Anything more than this can bind them up again. Eating fruits like apples, pears, peaches, berries, grapes, etc are all recommended. Veggies like corn, peas, carrots, any type of beans, and whatever else you can think of is fine as well. Meat and potatoes, rice, pasta is all fine as long as you watch what you put on them is absolutely fine. Drinking lots of water, real juice not something like kool-aid is fine, reduce the amount of sugar and salt intake. I hope this information helps you all out there dealing with this problem with your children. There are tests that the dr's can do for ENCOPRESIS so if you think this maybe your childs case for this problem please get them in asap to their family dr. or a pediatrician. Good luck!
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My son is 9 and poops in his pants constantly...It all started pretty much out of nowhere when he was 5. In the past year it has gotten really bad. When I try to talk to him about it he ignores me.  I tell him its okay its not his fault but he still doesnt want to talk about it.  About 6 months ago I took him to a GI doctor because I couldn't see him like this anymore and the dr told me give him lots of fiber, good diet , lots of water, and use a star chart.  It didn't seem to help.  I feel like I can't take it anymore, I am so stressed out.  He poops in his pants ALL day long and hides the clothes because he knows he will get in trouble.  I know its not all his fault but I just don't know what to do.  He also seems miserable because he doesnt want to be like this. I just want to help him but I cant figure out what else to do.  
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I Have a 10 yr old son that does it but he has never been abused so I'm not sure why he does it but I hope he will grow out of this problem not only  is it stressful for him but the whole family
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http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002537/

i found this site very helpful when trying to find out what was going on with my 11 yr old son. He starts high school in sept and has on and off for the last 3 yrs been either pooing his self or leaking small amounts in his pants/boxers and we have been telling him off and handing out ban's from sweets computers ect thinking it would make him use the loo more , esp with the playstaion or wii. We thought he was holding off going to the loo so he could keep playing. We have been checking him for the last few nights, he had a bath last night all was clean this morning he had a small egg sized poo squashed around his open end and cheeks, he didnt feel any thing !! My husband said about going to the doctor so i booked for 2 weeks time but then remember i had taken my son back then and was told it will pass he was just lazy , i thought id look it all up to see if there was some thing and came over that site and this convo. he can go days with out going at all other then leaking out small bits in his clothes but every other week ( TMI SORRY ) he gets a very long wide poo we have to cut it up in the loo so it will flush down, it can be about 25-35 cm long !!!!! its just one of the symptoms for Encopresis !
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I am agreeing with all of you on this and everyone's situation is mirroring what me and my daughter are going through but her doctor told me to give milk of magnesia. I didn't see this would help if she is vollentarily holding it and the poopy issue is not affecting her bladder but she just pees. I live with my inlaws and they are one of her stressers majorly but My husband doesn't understand I guess because of cultural understanding he is an understaning individual just that I don't think he is making the connection. My own brother lives with us and he is not abusive but not very nice to her how can I make him understand that we need our own place so we can consetrate on her. And explain to him that is is not a bad son or brother for moving out he can still provide support for his family. They guilt him into staying and make him question his loyalty. It makes me so mad. Sorry to get off topic but I stuck between a rock and hard place My 10 yr old daughter needs help and I can get 7 other people to understand or cooroperate and even if they say yes in the begining they always fall back to the old ruteen(sp?).
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My 8yr old daughter is pooping in her pants, & she says she does not feel it when she needs to go. The family doc has had her on polyethylene glycol, & she hates it but I make her take it. She has been on this stuff for about 3yrs, & nothing's changed. I'm a single mother of two girls and the fathers are not in the pic all the time, my youngest ( the one I'm havering this problem with).. Her dad has just started trying to come back in her life after not being here for 8yrs, idk what to do or try anymore. Plezzzz help...
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I have read most of these stories and most of you say that this is caused by stressful situations.
My son is 4 and he has been pooping his pants ALL day EVERY day for the last 2 years. I have taken him to doctors, specialists, youth workers and not one of them can tell me what is happening.
My son has a very normal life with siblings and both my husband and I are the biological parents of him, and have a very strong marriage. We have successfully potty trained 3 of our oldest children without any problems. Our youngest son seems to HATE the potty, he will throw temper tantrums when we even say the word "potty" He has painted my walls with poo, pooped on my floor, and ruined several pairs of underware. He is extremely intellegant. He can count to 30, knows his ABC's, he can write his name and all of his siblings names!
He can pee on the potty without hesitation he recognizes the feeling and has had very little accidents with pee.
His poops are very mushy, smelly, and usually dark. We figured at the time when this first started happeneing that we needed to regulate his diet more. He has a very well balanced diet now and gets metamucil on a daily basis for fibre to help regulate him, it does not seem to be working. I'm completely out of options, and no-one will help us. I was told that it was a behaviour issue and that he will eventually grow out of it. We have tried spanking when he paints the walls with poo, or poops on the floor. I have made reward star charts, I have taken away all toys, cartoons and games, timeouts, bribes......ect
I'm worried because he starts school in September and the schools will not accept him with a issue like this. I wouldn't want him to not get the education he requires. Can anyone help?
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After reading your post i feel the most comfortable posting with what you wrote.. my 7 year old son has been pooping in his pants since the start of 1st grade..July 2011 so 6yr old. he is a perfect little angel at school from what the teacher tells me. I asked are we talking about the same kid. Well my son is a great kid only when he is not around his older sister(10) and me. He says he poops and don't care and smiles about it. He knows what he is doing and wipes it on walls because he is mad at me. I spank him i put him in time outs and all his toys are gone to the garage.. he doesnt seem to care at all.. he does the same thing when he is by my moms house. I recently stopped talking to my sister because she said she would call CPS on me if i put him in a diaper again. Needless to say that was a whole nother thing.. but she had both my children in the middle of her sharade over his pooping issue. Very dramatic.. however bs. anyways.. my son always comes first and so does my daughter i have been to drs and they say nothing is wrong with him.. he's just acting out. problem is i cant deal with this any more it's so fustrating.. i had my first panic attack because i was so mad at him.. i went outside.. he cleaned himself up but went into the shower and let the water run on him then came out put on new clothes and he didnt even clean his bottom.. he just laughed and so i had to help him... I separated from his father about 4 years ago. I am engaged now to this man who is wonderful with both my kids they call him their step dad and he plays with them more then I do.. He gets them interested into sports and buys them four wheelers, scooters, bikes skateboards, skates..we are very active.. however he just wont stop pooping.. tho when we are more active he doenst do it as often.. This is affecting my relationships with my family and my soon to be husband and my children. my daughter gets the short end of everything because so much time is spent on my sons issues... I feel as tho i am not alone but feel so alone because my family doesnt understand what i am going through.. they just want to lash out at me and tell me it's something i am doing wrong..

On another note : I work third shift so when my children are at school i am at home sleeping.. kids are in school from 810am to 240pm. I sleep between those hours only.. on days my family drops in then i have to wake up ... very inconsiderate of my schedule and they tell me that i sleep tomuch and i am the one that is depressed and they are sick of my children not being taken care of correctly that's why my son is acting out. I sleep 5 hours a day and work a full time job but i sleep too much and dont take care of my kids enough for you to threaten you are going to call CPS because i put my son in a diaper... really.... (not a great family person is she.. 23 yr old girl with no bf, no friends, no children and lives with my parents still: really???? ) Sorry for the drama speal but i am that fustrated over this whole situation.. i am removing myself from my family over it.. this is dumb because they have no other excuses but i sleep too much.. all i can say is they crossed that line..
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   To all of the above (or almost all).  Worried parents posted a great link. I know I learned a lot from it.  If you haven't done so - its worth checking out.  The link is here - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002537/
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I just feel so better to know that it is happening to a lot of people. I was embarrassed myself as a mother to talk to anyone. My son is 10yrs old and he's been pooing in his pants for long. It comes and go. His poo is most of the time runny. He just said to me he sometimes doesn't feel it. I have decided to call his pediatrician to make an appointment. I hope and pray that we can help him.
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My son has been doing it for a short while (since a month ago school ended).  He is 9 years old.  I thought maybe it was due to him not wanting to stop playing a game or something but I will try some things like the Primadophilus or Miralax and more fluids.  He has a tiny little bottom because he is tall and lanky with very little body fat and I always wondered if that's why he got so many poopy pants.  He rarely makes a whole poo but just a large smear or just enough to make everything smell.  We do not abuse him (I even pulled him in a private place, asked if anyone ever touched him in his privates or bottom and I told him he could trust me and tell me anything), he did mention one boy at school who bullies him on occassion, he is very spoiled and is on a very healthy diet we eat a lot of chicken, brown rice, veggies, juice, whole grain cereal, etc....super healthy food (mostly organic and even vegetarian sometimes).  He is possibly ADD as his dad is ADD and my son tends to really get into what ever he is doing....especially video games.  If the Primadophilus doesn't work I will go see the doctor as he did complain about an upset stomach the other night.  He did not do this as much during the school year maybe only once or twice but now it is like 6 times a day.  I noticed my husband gets skid marks often so I wonder if he had it too as a child.  I will not worry my child with it but I will encourage him doing his best.  Maybe I should try some prune juice in his diet regularly to help his poopies come out easier!
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Thank YOU!  for posting this.  I have been having this problem with my 10 year old on and off for 1 year and now that football started and he was getting less water, we started having the problem again.  This blog and the 'encopresis' website and 'sneaky-poo' document helped me to understand what was going on.  I will be making an appointment with his pediatrician tomorrow.
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We have had this problem with our 9 year old for as long as I can remember. We have seen specialist and he has taken medications. We went to Myrtle beach this summer for a week and he had NO accidents what so ever ( I was very proud of him) he went in the toliet everyday. When we got back home he started pooping  his pants again. I make him wear pullups becuase I am tired of having to buy underwear all the time and throwing them away. He is not embarrased by the smell or anything. I think he is just lazy. It is very frustrating as a parent to go through this everyday. I just hope he grows out of this very soon.
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has anyone ever heard of ENCOPRESIS? This is something I just found out due to my nephew being hospitalised with this condition. It consists of the intestines being back up so bad and packed to the point of the kids honestly not being able to porperly use the toilet because they can't get rid of the pack poop. My nephew was hospitalised for five days and was given a high fibre diet along with sone laxative medication he had to take 2 times a day along with getting enemas and eating lots of fruits and veggies and lots to drink. The way they were with him was he was only allowed to eat for a half hour, then wait 10 mins then go sit on the toilet for ten minutes. A whole week of this along with x-rays and other thing to check him and he finally got out yesturday but this is a condition that he'll have to deal with his whole life. They also used a sticker program with him for pooping and peeing when he did then he would get rewarded somehow. According to his dr's, bananas, cheese and milk product dont bind you up unless you eat too much of it. Consuming it in moderation if fine. So like only 1 banana a day, 1-2 slices a day of cheese, and a cup or two of milk or milk products aday if fine. Anything more than this can bind them up again. Eating fruits like apples, pears, peaches, berries, grapes, etc are all recommended. Veggies like corn, peas, carrots, any type of beans, and whatever else you can think of is fine as well. Meat and potatoes, rice, pasta is all fine as long as you watch what you put on them is absolutely fine. Drinking lots of water, real juice not something like kool-aid is fine, reduce the amount of sugar and salt intake. I hope this information helps you all out there dealing with this problem with your children. There are tests that the dr's can do for ENCOPRESIS so if you think this maybe your childs case for this problem please get them in asap to their family dr. or a pediatrician. Good luck!
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My step-son is 6, going on 7. He goes pee by himself just fine, but has lots of poo accidents. When he has an accident, we can smell it. We ask him if there is poo in his pants, or if he needs to go clean up, and he will deny it. Sometimes he knows he pooped is pants but denies it because he is embarrassed.  It's not as extreme as hiding soiled clothes, but I think it's on the same 'shame' continuum. When we take him to the bathroom to get cleaned up, he will get upset because he is mad at himself.

I think that sometimes he honestly doesn't know he has pooped himself; I believe him when he says he doesn't know when he needs to poop. When he was littler, he would hold his poo because he was too busy playing. He would get constipated and the poop would fill his bowel. The bowel then got stretched and the sensation of needing to poo seems to be quite dulled as a result.

We do give him polyethylene glycol (laxative)  and try to include fruits & veggies for good nutrition and fibre. Water and exercise - bike riding, soccer, running around the playground  - are helpful. The trick is keep him having bowel movements so he doesn't get totally backed up and then it gets quite bad. It will take quite a while for his bowel to return to normal.

When he does poop in the toilet, he is very proud of himself. He really wants to poop in the toilet like a big boy, but because he is only 6, and the dulled sensation, it is taking a long, long time.  Punishment for him just seems to make it worse; he feels very ashamed and defeated. He will say things like "I only had one accident today" - he really doesn't want to be a pants-pooper. We do the chart thing and stay positive - no sticker if he has an accident, but also no frowny-face. He says he is embarrassed to go to poop at school because the stalls don't have doors and he wants privacy. He may be reaching the point - given his age and the age of his peers - where the embarrassment of pooping himself is worse than that of going poo in the toilet.

There definitely seems to be some control issues; if we make him sit on the toilet, he gets upset. This may just be a normal 6-year old thing, but I do think there is an element of control at stake for him. At the same time, we are the parents and we set the rules - like sit on the toilet, time for bed, eat your veggies, pick up your toys, etc. To keep the 'you have to sit on the toilet now' from spiralling into a battle, we stay calm and stay "good behaviour gets rewards. Your behaviour is not acceptable". When he gets enough stars for pooping in the toilet, picking up his toys, doing reading homework, etc, he gets a special treat. Not candy! He gets to choose - natural history museum (icky things in jars appeal to little boys) or the discovery centre, etc... This way, he has to earn the special things and it's his choice to do so - goes back to the control thing. He wants the treat and it's his choice to do something about it.

Having read many posts here, I recognize his/our situation is just that - every child and family is different and not everything works for everyone. I do know that hollering and punishing for something I honestly think he has legitimate problems with (due to stretched bowel and dulled sensation) is not helpful for him. Even if a Dr says the child doesn't have a medical problem,  the child may really be telling the truth when they say they don't know when they need to poo or that they have pooed. Having a reflex (eg anal sphincter reacts to examination by Dr) may not be the same thing as the sensation of needing to poo registering with the child.

Some days are better than others and it takes loads of patience (and loads of laundry! ick) but kids need to know their parents love them and believe in them unconditionally.  But, be firm about expectations and acceptable  behabviour, and be consistent.


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   An excellent post.  Thank you for your comments.
I will add that - for you- its not unusual for kids to fear going to the bathroom at school.  Compound that by not having doors on the stalls, and it is a problem.  I can't believe a school would do that!  Anyway, I would make sure his teacher does know about his problem and that the teacher will let him go during class (when there are not as many kids in the toilet).  I have always been amazed (even as a principal) at how many teachers refuse to let a kid go during class time.
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Thank you for sharing! My 9 rear old son has struggled with this issue as well since age 5. Like everyone else we have tried EVERYTHING. I started him on the Premadolphilus for kids four days ago. He has had  BM  every day since. He would typically go every eight days before. I encourage anyone having this problem to try it. The Sneaky Poo book also helped him to realize that he is not the only kid out there struggling.
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My son was doing this also plus going pee in his pants. We'll we found out he had a 70 year old bladder, he was diagnosed with urinary incontinence. At age 7 all the doctors wanted to do was give him a cathider which would be for the rest of his life. Being a mom like all mom's it was not going to happen, so i started doing research on the internet. I came across all different things to try & eventually after trying all different ways of trying to help him I did succeed. I had to retrain him to use the rest room, also make sure that he was drinking at least 3 glasses of water a day also had to give him extra fiber & as little sugar as possible. I thank the internet for all the information that is on it or my son would not be where he is today.( He is now 12) I hope all the Mom's that are going through this do research if the doctors tell you that basically their is nothing you can do, cuz 9 out of 10 there is ways to cure this. Thank you for reading this & hope if I didn't help that someones comment will.
                                                                                            Nabunk
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I have read this post with great interest, was originally searching for info about my Step dtr, 16. This is fascinating, must be the best kept secret as I have never heard of this happening. But -  No one has come back and posted, well my kid grew out of it or said what happened.
Some had luck with rewards, some didn't. Some had luck with self clean up, some kids don't do it at school, only at home.
Some are embarassed, some are not. But-
  Most all say the kids can't tell when its happening, this must be true, they can't all be coming up with the same story can they?  And if they can't feel it (the poo)  coming out then do they grow out of it? Or learn to control it?
  I just want to add - you are all saints and angels - i go nuts when my dog has an accident, and this is very seldom. If I had to deal with it daily or weekly I would truly go insane.
  Would love to see some follow ups added.
  
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I would recommend that if your child is going through this you investigate whether they have food sensitivities.  I've been doing research and it looks like lactose and gluten sensitivity are both common causes for this kind of problem.  

My son is 9 and has been having poop accidents since he was 5.  All the same type of behaviors that everyone is describing here - streaking in the underwear, hiding soiled underwear, denying he's had an accident when he is sitting in poop and we can smell it, leaving poop in his underwear all day unless he's forced to change.  It is frustrating and terrible, and we tried everything - doctors, specialists, encopresis centers - and kept getting told just to put him on miralax and keep giving it to him.  I don't know whether miralax gives some kind of kickback to doctors and gastroenterologist's, but that was the only solution we were given by multiple doctors and it didn't work.  

Recently someone finally suggested that it might be a problem with gluten.  We took him off of gluten and he didn't have an accident for 6 weeks.  We decided to go back on gluten and he started having accidents again.  It seems like we've finally found the solution, and I just wish one of the many doctors we've seen over the years would have thought of this because they could have saved us years of difficulty.

Hope this is helpful.  Search for "gluten and encopresis" to find more information.
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   Very good information - an so easy to try.  Thanks for posting.
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Thank you thank you THANK YOU.  I know this is a tough situation for anyone to be in, but I am happy to know I'm not alone.  My boyfriend of 5 years nearly got to the point of leaving me last night over my son's "issue."  He loves me and loves him but wasn't sure how much more he could take.   My boy is also 10 and this has been off and on since he was 3. Many of the same things have gone on for us.  Doctors have been no help, hiding of the underwear, rewards, punishments, making him clean them etc. Nothing has helped.  I do worry that maybe he was abused as a small child because his father (who I left when my son was 1) abused me.  I especially want to  thank all of the teenagers who took the time to respond with sincere posts about their struggles.  Even though this is an anonymous forum, I'm not sure I would have had the guts to do that even as an adult. One thing I didn't see mentioned though, has anyone else had a child that can seem to control WHEN this happens?  I ask because he just spent a week with his grandparents and this issue didn't happen even once, but as soon as he got home it has happened every single day.  And that is pretty common where if he goes somewhere or does something he WANTS to do, I feel maybe he has some control over it.
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WE HAVE BEEN ACCIDENT FREE FOR 2 MONTHS STRAIGHT!!!   I struggled with my daughter since she was 5 years old.  She is now 9 years old. Her doctor scared me.  He said he knows adults that have had it and bring another outfit to work.  Crazy!!!!  My sister's son had it and she recommended me to go see a specialists.  That doctor said she was backed up and had me flush her out and put her on senokot-S for 30 days and miralax.  It worked for 2 weeks and then it was bad again.  I have struggled for what seems like forever.  The miralax seems to just make it worse and I never could get the dosage right.  It just didn't work for us.  All of the frustrations that have been posted I have been through.  She did not know why she would do it she did not know how to fix it.  We could not understand why she couldn't fix it etc.  In August the specialist told us that she was no longer compacted and nothing was wrong with her.  So then you think there is something mentally wrong.  It just did not sit right with me.  She has a normal childhood nothing weird or out of the ordinary but she could not feel the poop coming out and of course she was still doing that. Nothing worked until I read about someone on this post that was trying Probiotics so I put together my own treatment and It has WORKED WONDERS.

Answer to my daughters problems:  The Treatment.

I flushed her out really good made sure she was not compacted.  (see the treatment for flushing her out by the doctors or others that have posted)  I think I gave some Miralax and a suppository or enema I can't remember we did so many things before this treatment.  I then gave her 1 1/2 pills, which is what the specialists subscribed to us when she was 7, Senokot-s (kroger brand is what I used) every night DO NOT MISS A NIGHT for 30 days.  I also give her Probiotic.  The gummies I would give 4 each daily 2 in morning 2 at night.  The pills once a day. Culturelle for kids chewable pills is one brand.  The KEY Every morning I would have her sit on the potty.  This was hard to do we had to wake her up 30 min. earlier each morning to give her time to sit.  We let her color do whatever on the potty while she waited for the poop to come.  I would check to make sure it really came out (due to earlier lies).  The senokot-s makes them go so it will come just be patient.  Usually she did not need to sit more than 20 min.  This trained her to go each morning.  After the 30 days I stopped the Senokot-S pills but kept up with the Probiotic pills or gummies and most important the time in the morning to sit and poop.  With her off the senokot-S pills the poop may not be in the morning or everyday.  I have her sit in the mornings, most of the time she goes then but if she doesn't I have her sit after school.  If she does not go everyday that is o.k. but if she does not go by the 3rd day I give her the Senokot-S pill and she will go that morning again. You don't want to have them get compacted again.   In the 1 month since she was off the senokot-s  I have only had to do that once.  We started the treatment on November 1, 2012.  She might of had one accident on November 3rd because I was out of town, her siblings said she stunk so I'm not sure.  But since then NO ACCIDENTS!!!  Oh my goodness how much better do we all feel (the whole family).  It was really hard on everyone.  I wanted to share this to make sure that if someone was looking this may be the answer you have been looking for.   It has been a big help to me!!!  
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Avatar_m_tn
I am currently 25 years old and had this problem until the age of 10. Luckily for me my parent's didn't punish me or yell at me for this, instead they tried a few different approaches to help me get rid of the problem. From around the age of 4 until I was roughly 10-11 years old I had this problem. For me it was simple constipation and I would put off having to go to the bathroom until I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had a fear it would hurt. Things like being in the restroom would cause me anxiety and I wouldn't feel comfortable unless I was somewhere else (which is when I would soil my underpants). My parents put me in counseling and while this didn't solve my problem it did help me down the road with other things (i'm a huge believer in counseling for everyone). What eventually broke my pattern was quite simple, every single day my father would make me drink a glass of medimucil in front of him. He told me it would make me healthy and go to the bathroom and it did! The other thing that got me to break my habit was a neighborhood girl that I developed a crush on and who liked me back. I felt shame about my behavior for the first time and wanted to change it for myself. Now I'm not saying you need to shame your child but what I do believe is finding a way to motivate them to change their behavior along with a healthy habit like drinking a glass of medimucil everyday I hope this helps
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a problem with direct punishment go does it solve underlying problems and my son is extremely ashamed anyway. I will do almost anything so if o an convince me it will work and not do harm I'd like to know.  
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Avatar_n_tn
I have a problem with direct punishment go does it solve underlying problems and my son is extremely ashamed anyway. I will do almost anything so if o an convince me it will work and not do harm I'd like to know.  
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Avatar_n_tn
If a child is doing it out of stress don't you think the thought of death might make it worse?
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Avatar_n_tn
I will give a lot of thought, my son has had a troubled life and none of this would surprise me.
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Avatar_f_tn
I read through mostly all the answers here. I have a serious problem with my nine year old. About a 2 months ago she started "soiling" her pants. She has never been abused and we have a happy home. As a baby she was awesome took to potty training like a natural. Never wet the bed at all. I'm concerned because not only is she "soiling" she is also using the trash can as her toilet. She has no issue urinating in the toilet just with her bowls. I have sat her down and talked to her a dozen times and all she keeps saying to me is " she can't make it in time.." I have tried the pull ups them seem not to work. Bought new underwear every week. I just have no idea how to approach this without trying reverse psychology and just plain out telling her she's not a baby. I have have tried scheduling bathroom breaks but it still happens... I just do not know what to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
My son has been pooping his pants for 3 years and it was getting worse. I took him to the doctor and a shrink. Then I found out he had a gluten sensitivity and we are in the process of finding out if he has celiacs. I have noticed a huge change since I have taken gluten out of his diet!!! I cannot express how much stress this caused in our life for so long. I would suggest for any one with this problem to get them tested or remove gluten its tuff but so worth it!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
Just reading your post.  Are you still dealing with this issue?  I am in the same situation.  I would love to chat with you more about it.  Hope to hear a response from you.  Suzy
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi I'd like to add my name to the long list of frustrated parents here.  I have a lovely highly intelligent 11 year old boy who.. well you've no doubt read my story more then once here.  The school nurse keeps insisting we go to  specialist, tho my family doctor seems to feel he will out grow it.  The phychiatrist we went to seems to think he will out grow it.  I thought he had outgrown it since he went for nearly nine months without an incident only to start up again.  Sigh, very frustrating, and scary since the school nurse seems to feel that I am ignoring it.  I have spent more nights than I want to think about sitting in the toilet with him waiting for him to poop so there will be no leakage the next day at school.  I have two other kids without this problem.  
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Avatar_m_tn
     Is he in middle or elementary school?  Sometimes, the bathroom situation for kids at school is just not that good and they try to hold it till they get home.
   Also, several posters above mentioned having gluten in the diet was the problem and when that was removed - it stopped.
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Avatar_f_tn
Elementary.  I had thought about the bathroom situation, but he does it at home on the weekends and during summer break.,  I have done the charts the rewards the miralax and so far the only thing that has worked is requiring that I go sit in the bathroom with him until he goes (he lies about going, and hides the evidence like everyone else's kids do).  Trust me after three years of sitting in the bathroom with him I wish there was some miracle solution here, but so far I have not found it.  And if I slack up on going in with him at all, he goes right back to having accidents at school.  It is just frustrating!!  And I have two other kids, a job a yard and house to maintain and a side business, something or someone inevitably gets neglected which is frustrating as well.  At least thru this forum I now know that I am not the only parent dealing with this issue.  I also recently found out that a male cousin on my estranged husband's side of the family did this for a number of years as well.
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Avatar_m_tn
      You mentioned Miralax - so is he constipated?  Is that why it takes so long for him?
       By the way, I doubt that you have had the time to go through all 140 or so posts here - but some of them are very helpful!  Unfortunately, I can't remember all of the ones, but these are good.   Two good ones from Sept 11 and 14, 2012. Also,  Dec 22, 2012, May 21, 2012
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Avatar_f_tn
My son too has encopresis. I just discovered that it's an actual disorder yesterday. I'd thought he just got wound up in his playing and didn't want to take time to go to the bathroom. He's almost 8 and often passes part of his stool. The thing is he is not constipated. He regularly goes to the bathroom. Plus it tends to happen only when he's active. When we're at home he rarely has accidents. I always got mad at him saying it's impossible not to feel poo coming out and a dirty bottom. He always said he couldn't feel it. Often I hear that this disorder is due to stress or abuse. My son is a really calm and social boy. What can we do about the problem though?

He is also a bed wetter. Two problems in 1! He's never been dry at night since I potty trained him as a toddler. We are now working on this problem too. We read Alicia Eaton's book, Dry in 7 days. So far we haven't been dry in the 7 days that I took the pull ups off him. I ordered a bedwetting alarm and we'll try this too. He has never shown that the problem really bothers him. But he has asked his little brother how he stopped wetting the bed and he is also very motivated to try to stop.
Does anyone have suggestions?
Thanks
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Avatar_m_tn
The problem is called encopresis and is physical in nature because of constipation. It usually starts with holding it (whatever reason they do this for). The constipated mass causes pressure on the nerves so they can not feel their need to go and the bowel content will leak pass the mass. I recommend a program called "soiling solutions". It was an answer to my prayers after years of struggling with this. A bowel flora supplement like "Flora Bear" also helps. Love your child. They really can not feel it when they need to go. Humiliating them will only add to their problems  - they need your help and support. You can overcome this together! My son is ten and after years of struggling with different suggestions our problems are now over. Praise be to GOD!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, I know this is a late response, but my son also since the age of 5, he is now 13 does it and does the same thing your child did or does. After speaking with numerous people, medical professionals, etc, I am left with very few answers or suggestions. Some sort of physical or sexual abuse can contribute to this happening. When my son was younger, he witnessed domestic abuse and physical abuse to his brother's. While I was at work, my children were being tormented by my youngest sons father. Of course, after we split up is when certain thing's came out. I hope you and your child are well and maybe hear back from you on his current situation
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Avatar_m_tn
A lot of parents are in denial about the possibility of their child being physically or emotionally abused- they can also be in denial about sexual abuse.  No one wants to think that these evil thing apply to them. It's always easier to just sweep it under the rug instead of facing that someone could be abusing your child and that person could even be your spouse.  If you are that kind of CO-DEPENDENT person and brush things off without really facing them, then you are just as much the problem as the abusing parent. Sometimes the evidence is staring at you right in the face but the co-dependent chooses to turn a blind eye.  That is the WORST thing you can do. So suck it up, quit whining and feeling sorry for yourself...do your research and get your head out of your *** long enough to get the abuser out of their life.  Because no human should ever have authority over another!  You can handle it... there's plenty of single parents out there that have a much more easier time raising their kids when there isn't an abuser in the home.  If you don't take care of this now, you will regret it later!
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Avatar_m_tn
And it seems as if the majority of posts are about boys on here... if a boy were molested, how would it have been done to them?.... what could it physically damage? Even if it didn't physically damage them... pooping on themselves can help keep the perpetrator away.  I'm not saying this applies in "every" situation but at least do the research and make sure this is not the case.
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Avatar_m_tn
These social behaviors sound like Aspergers or another mild form of Autism. Many with Aspergers also have ADD or ADHD. My partner's son has the pooping issue and has been diagnosed with Aspergers. He exhibits the same behaviors. no eye contact, if you ask a direct question he gets uncomfortable, often says I don't know until he is comfortable to answer.  We believe that the Aspergers has also spawned the pooping issue, in that he gets so absorbed into what he is doing that he will not stop to use the bathroom. We think and are waiting to see a doctor that he may have Encorpesis. He had a problem with really hard BMs. the doctor put him on stool softeners, but he is still pooping his pants. I explained to him that He may not know that he has to go, but sitting in it is dangerous to his health, and will cause issues at school. So far no accidents at school, we told him even if he does not feel like he has to go when they get bathroom breaks to go and sit anyway. He still has small accidents, but for 2 weeks not a full out poop. he notices the poop and goes straight to the bathroom now. We also make him clean out his own undies, not as a punishment but so that he understands the work involved with cleaning up after him. We went from full loads in his pants to small accidents that are not near as hard to deal with as a full load.
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Avatar_m_tn
My 10 year old grandson has this problem. I really think he just gets too busy and doesn't go to the bathroom. My problem is that he denies he has dirty pants and will stau in them all day! His Mom and Dad ignore it but since Iam the caregiver while they work, I make him change his pants. Hope he is not 17 and still pooping his pants!!
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Avatar_m_tn
this seems to be my schedule also and with 3 other children its crazy insane and I never catch it till its to late...i have learnt through reading this im gonna try a hand held game in the bathroom and see how that works...i feel so relieved im not the only parent going through this and all of you are in my prayers, but i really did think it was just us.
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Avatar_f_tn
what medicine is your child on and i have the same problem with my son and i think that stress has a lot to do with it my son is with me for 5 days then back with his father for another 5 days and things are not consecutive i am hoping and praying that in time it will all go away but i dont see that happening because of everything he has been thru just like when i get stressed out i go smoke a cigarette he gets upset and poops in his pants or will do it just to get attentions whether the attention is negative or positive he dont care... Please if anyone has any advice for me feel free to post a comment for me
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Avatar_f_tn
Maybe some can help me......ive been dealing with these issues a lot longer than most of you.....my son is now 17 and still has encopresis.  He has been diagnosed at the age of 2 with ADHD, he has aggressive behavior, Oppositional defiant disorder and now they added Asperger/bipolar....I have heard  maybe he is lazy, could he have been molested, does he have a bowel obstruction, ....I have exhausted every resource and refuse to give up on him......I have never encountered this type of problem that lasts this long and no one seems to know what to do and no one can offer help.....any medical treatment facility in our area  for kids have since closed or don't know either....im losing my hair as we speak .....my stomach is in disarray...and I cry a lot....someone....please advise me if you know of anything I can do for him to help him lead a productive life.....
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Avatar_m_tn
It is a great relief to see that we are not the only ones having this issue. Our adopted nine-year-old son has just started pee and pooping himself. He mostly pees, but he will do it in the store, at school, in the car, at home, and anywhere else. He will then try to hide it and lie about it. He has shoved soiled clothes in with clean clothes in his closet and on top of the dryer.
We have tried everything from punishment (mainly for the lying and hiding dirty clothes in clean), rewards, pull-ups, frequent restroom breaks, and doctors visits. All the doctor suggested was counseling. We just finished a round of counseling in September and he refused to talk then, so I don't see how it will help this time either. He says he doesn't care about it at all. He does have ADHD but he is on medicine for that and it is controlled. He behaves well at school and makes all A's and B's.
I am not sure what else to do!
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Avatar_m_tn
     Ashlely, in her book,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley (about $12 on Amazon), says that kids with ADHD are 3 times more likely to have wetting accidents then kids without ADHD.   Basic reason is that they will focus on something and not notice the urge until its too late and then since they do tend to do things without thinking - they let it go.
   Like all behavioral methods for ADHD, routine is very important.
   Probably the biggest help for you will be to figure out when this is happening.  During or right after playing video games?  His meds have worn or are wearing off?  The timing is important because then you can start a bathroom routine or check his med schedule.
  I would stop the punishments.  It Obviously hasn't helped too much anyway.  What you do want him to do is to let you know when he has had an accident so he won't then lie about or try to hide it.  The only way this will work is to not punish.  If anything lightly/slightly reward for letting you know.
   School wise - he is at an age where going poop in the bathroom where bigger kids are (during recess or lunch) can be scary.  Its not unusual for kids to hold it out of fear of the restroom.  The teacher can help here (if thats part of the problem) by letting him go during classtime.
  Hope this helps!
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you my son is 18 and does the same thing he hides it under his bed and in his pants leg, he seem to be collecting it. I have tried everything he started at 16, I told him if it continues he will have to leave my home. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do. Thank you for sharing I will be taking him to a therapist.
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Avatar_m_tn
   He doesn't  need a  therapist he needs a good  gastroenterologist.  He probably has the medical condition called encopresis.  While the following link is aimed more at children it has a lot of info on encopresis and explains the problems it presents.   http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf
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Avatar_m_tn
Try this ebook, it's been very helpful for our family: http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/beating-sneaky-poo-1.pdf
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Avatar_m_tn
My son has had issues with bowel movements since birth. He couldn't go when he was little because it was so HUGE, so the Dr gave him medicine so soften his stool. He was scared and would hold it until he couldn't any more and he would some times have small accidents. I felt so bad because he would scream because it hurt. Then around the age of six, he started to poop his pants ( more like skid marks), which I thought he was just being lazy. He's now 9 and we have tried EVERYTHING!!!! I make him sit on the toilet every morning and night. I keep him away from diary because that seemed to hurt his stomach, but it seems to be getting worse. I'm finding his underwear stuffed under his bed or in drawers. I try to talk with him and he just says he didn't know he had to go?!?! I keep telling him I don't want people to smell him and I asked if it still hurts like it did when he was little, but he says no. I don't know what else to do?  HELP!
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Avatar_m_tn
Check out this link.  It should be helpful.  Oh,  and do let your doc know what is going on.
      http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf
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Avatar_m_tn
I also did this as a boy I pooped in my pants every day all through elementary school and even younger. Being in private school many years ago pooping in your pants was grounds to get the paddle in front of the class so needless to say I was paddled almost every day. Surprisingly though no one at the school ever initiated complaints about me to my parents. I have to admit that I didn't meet opposition from my parents either. I was an ADHD boy before they even knew what it was I also had a lot of stress because of a violent home situation. I honestly have to admit that pooping in my pants along with being paddled for it became a stress reliever. It also didn't bother me to sit in my severely dirty pants all day.  As I got older the affects caused me to have my first orgasm in my pants as I was being paddled and this new unexplained feeling drove me to do it even more.  Frankly when this is so engrained you never get over it when I didn't poop my pants or get the paddle I actually missed it.
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