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why does my 10 year old son still poop in pants

I JUST DONT GET IT ! MY SON HAS BEEN POOPING IN HIS PANTS SINCE 5YEARS OF AGE.WE FINALLY TOOK HIM TO A STOMACH PEDATRIC DOCTOR AND HE DID TESTING AND EVERYTHING TURNED OUT TO BE NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. WE HAVE TRIED REWARDS AND RESTRICTIONS AND BACK TO THE SAME OLD THING HE STILL POOPS IN PANTS, THE THING THAT GETS ME THE MOST IS WHEN HE GOES IN HIS UNDERWARE THE SMELL AND THE FEELING DOES NOT SEEM TO BOTHER HIM ONE BIT. HOW LONG WILL THIS GO ON? THE NUMBERS OF UNDERWARE THAT HAVE BEEN THROWN AWAY JUST TO BUY MORE TO BE THROWN AWAY AS WELL. IT WAS METIONED TO BE THAT THEIR COULD BE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS WHEN OLDER CHILDREN STILL SOIL IN THEIR PANTS. WHAT EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS COULD THAT BE? PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT!


This discussion is related to My 8 year old pees the bed and poops his pants constantly!  Help!.
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603946 tn?1333941839
I don't think you are terrible- but it helped you find out for sure they had control over their bowels..... It's just a natural consequence- let's say I got sick with a tummy ache and I had an accident- I would have to clean it myself- it's really just the most natural answer. If they had not stopped you would probably look into their being a medical problem.


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Avatar universal
Ok, I am a ready made dad, when i got with my wife now her children were 3 and 5. Pretty much from the time I got with my wife the 2 girls were pooping their pants. The children did deal with abuse from ther bio dad so im sure that had all and everything to with them pooping their pants. I delt with it and delt with it and tried everything I could think of to get them to stop pooping their pants. I tried reward systems, punishments like time outs and stuff like that. I tried every method I thought possible. I finally got them broke of pooping their pants and this is how I did it. Well..... I used to throw away their soiled panties and one day I decided NO im tired of this and im tired of them soiling their pants. What I did was every time they pooped their pants I made them hand scrub the poo out of their panties in the toilet. Now most of you are thinking "what a horrible father" well ya know what after a few times of having to hand scrub the poo out of their pants they decided they didnt like it and they quit pooing their pants. I know it might sound horrible but it worked for both of my children and maby it will work with your child. Hope this helps
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Avatar universal
Hi, fefe!  Believe it or not, I feel like I am reading my story all over again.  My husband and I went through the very same thing with my son.  He is now 13.  He never seemed to have any interest in the potty when he was young.  He used to scream and run away from me when I tried to bring him to the potty when he was young.  By the way, he was 2 when we adopted him from Russia and we thought perhaps they were too strick with training him there and that was why he refused to go potty.  But that's getting off your immediate situation.  I'm trying to explain this background to you so you can get a better picture of my situation.  Anyway, when my son started school, he was still doing this in preschool and I had to go pick him up early, change him on the school premises (embarrassed) and was told by his teachers that he really needed to be potty trained before going to school.  So. . .by the time he was in 2nd grade he still was not toilet trained properly.  He would wet himself during the day and poop in his pants.  He was also bedwetting.  It was driving me nuts!!!  And even what made me more nuts, is it never seemed to phase him.  He said he didn't smell it either.  I believe he felt ashamed.  So his second grade teacher had us do a home test while she did a school test, because he was also inattentive at school.  I witnessed this first-hand too!  He would not sit still.  We were going on a class trip and I was chaperoning and he would want to run to the back of the class, where I was and just sit on my lap!  All this while the teacher was waiting for him to come sit down.  He was disrupting the class.  We couldn't leave for the trip until he cooperated.  Everyone was watching him and he didn't care.  Well the tests we did, sure enough we confirmed he was ADD, attention deficit disorder!  He saw doctors and a therapist.  The soiling as mentioned in another comment, is what is called ENCOPRESIS.  It was the first time I had heard of this.  You really should read up on this.  It is not the child's fault.  For some reason, in my son's case, because of his ADD, he did not want to take the time to sit on the toilet or listen to his body's cue of when he needed to have a bowel movement, or urinate.  He was too busy playing.  He found this going to the bathroom to be boring.  After all, he has ADD.  They get bored easily.  So by holding in his bowels, he becomes impacted (constipated) and then what happens is soil or loose stools slip out past the hard impaction and his pants become soiled.  This could also effect the bladder which makes him have accidents.  You really should read up on this. There is so much info out there.  See another doctor too, and keep going to different doctors until you feel satisfaction.  I saw so many doctors for my son.  It is not an emotional problem, but the encopresis/enuresis could in and of itself become an emotional problem if the child feels ashamed because of it.  My son, too, use to hide his soiled clothing in his closet, drawer, under the bed, hamper!!!  Yikes!!!  I couldn't take it.  Some doctors gave us help such as using a reward system with chips, one mentioned having a high fiber diet, one mentioned using a stool softener, another recommended drinking water throughout the day, and making the child sit on the toilet different times throughout the day, so his body rhythm would adjust and become accustomed to sitting and using the toilet properly.  I hope this has helped.  I know it is a long entry, but I truly understand your situation.  Just remember, when puberty hits, they eventually will grow out of it.  Be patient, because that is the biggest thing I had to learn.  My son did hit puberty and thank god, is now through with the problem.  He does have ADD still but we work through it and he is a great boy!!!   Good luck!
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Avatar universal
I have an 11 yrs old granddaughter that still messes herself and does not seem to care. She lies about doing it and hides her messy clothes.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Very good answer.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.
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2 Comments
My 12 year old granddaughter poops in her pants and sometimes. She hides her dirty underwear. I have to go looking for them in drawers and bags in her closet. She has adhd but was tested and is not autistic. She doesn't care about brushing her hair or putting on deodorant. Help! I'm at my wits end.
Well, the fact that she hides her soiled underwear probably means that she is ashamed.  If you don't want her to hide the underwear, then you have to let her know its no big deal.
   As to why.  One typical reason is that she is at an age when going into the bathrooms is kind of scary.  I assume she is in 6th grade and thus one of the youngest kids.   Typically, they try and avoid the bathrooms until it is too late.
    Another reason is that she has ADHD.  It is very typical to hyper focus on something until its too late.
   And at age 12 it is not unusual to not be real concerned about brushing hair and deodorant.  That will happen later on.  Plus, its pretty easy for a kid with ADHD to get distracted or be running late for school and just not get around to the hygiene stuff.   Some parents post a check list of things that need to be done in the bathroom.   Check out this link and especially the comments below the link to see that you are not the only one going through this.  http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/4/8003.html
  Hope this helps.
Avatar universal
He doesnt smear it--that is probably another issue. Maybe it goes along with the embarrassment and frustration. Not sure. Still sounds like the Encopresis (medical condition from constipation--colon stretched from holding the poop at some point).
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Avatar universal
My son does all of this. I looked up online what could cause the pooping. It looks like he doesnt feel it. What happens is that when they are little, they get constipated and don't wanna poop because it hurts. Holding it causes their colon to stretch and damages the nerves in the butt. Once the colon is stretched, they have a lot of poop and it does sneak out--they dont feel it. The colon will unstretch in time, but it takes time. Looks like I need to give him fiber gummies to help him go easier and drink more water. Its called Encopresis. They dont feel it. It takes time to get them back on a regular poop schedule because their colon is stretched. Be patient--they cant help it.
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1 Comments
There are many issues that are possible. Look up Encopresis, also irritable bowel syndrome. I think the emotional part of it stems from the embarassment, shame, and frustration of having this happen. Either medical problem has the same issue--they don't feel it come out. It has to be a heavy burden for them to carry. Perhaps the comments that they don't care is their way of dealing with it. They do care. And you care or you wouldn't be looking it up. Start with the fiber gummies. The medical sites do say it will take a long time for the colon to stretch back to normal. Sounds like the solution takes a lot of time--accidents or set-backs will happen.
Avatar universal
My daughter is 10yrs of age and pooping and smearing still she is autistic and refuses nappies throws them somewhere she's always doing this we are not really sure if she's autistic because she's not diagnosed but we have this running away case too seriously children are big enough it's pretty strange when they just poop themselves
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Avatar universal
I have lived with a kid that did that . It is difficult. I believe autisum is a demon . I'd wake to go to work an the smell of **** every where. An he, have 1/2 hr showers . He was my exs 13 ur old boy not mine .i new he wud be living at home all his life. So I left I cudnt handle it. If I tryed to correct him my ex said don't talk to my son like that. So I left.
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Avatar universal
I think as a parent you did what you felt was best and I applaud you! More parents should try your method, however it did not work for me!  
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Avatar universal
  You have alot of courage to write in and I thank you so much. My grandson is 10 and has been through a lot with my self grandma bringing him up for 4 years then his parents taking over only to break up again, then back to me for another 6 months then his father took him only to get married again. They have tried very hard with him . With my push he has been to 3 Doctors he was dianosed with ADD and ADHD he is on medicine and taking therapy. Still no better. I love him so much But can't find the right help for him!!!!
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Thank You!  Beating sneaky poo is a great pamphlet.  It is much easier to understand then any thing I have recommended.  
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Avatar universal
Mine is now thirteen and things are better.  A small daily dose of miralax helped and I do mean small 1/4 teaspoon. Consistent monitoring of his bathroom habits.  Also he is a bit older and better able to understand and communicate what is going on. Like if his stool gets hard we go back on the miralax for a couple of days and it generally gets better.  Long hard road, not sure we are done, but I will say getting mad and punishing is not the route.  
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Avatar universal
This is exactly what my 9 1/2 year old son does. He was completely potty trained at 2. He had his first surgery at 2 1/2 and that's when it started. He has had 9 surgeries and the problem got worse each time. It's so embarrassing and the kids at school call him "stinky" behind his back. He won't even admit that the other children can smell the poop. He insists that he hasn't soiled himself all the while smelling like an outhouse. When I bet him (if he hasn't, he gets a treat. If he has he loses a privilege) he is actually very surprised to find out he has soiled himself. I'm at my wits end. He has ADHD and Oppositional Disorder, they also think he might have a sensory issue. He is actually a very sweet boy, very empathetic. I love him so much! I need to help him so that he isn't teased his whole life. Have you had any luck since your post?
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Avatar universal
Hi ! Thanks so much about your reply.My grandson is 13 and he is doing these.We are desperate and concern.Your input is a great helpThanks!
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
Check out this link.  It should be helpful.  Oh,  and do let your doc know what is going on.
      http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf
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Avatar universal
My son has had issues with bowel movements since birth. He couldn't go when he was little because it was so HUGE, so the Dr gave him medicine so soften his stool. He was scared and would hold it until he couldn't any more and he would some times have small accidents. I felt so bad because he would scream because it hurt. Then around the age of six, he started to poop his pants ( more like skid marks), which I thought he was just being lazy. He's now 9 and we have tried EVERYTHING!!!! I make him sit on the toilet every morning and night. I keep him away from diary because that seemed to hurt his stomach, but it seems to be getting worse. I'm finding his underwear stuffed under his bed or in drawers. I try to talk with him and he just says he didn't know he had to go?!?! I keep telling him I don't want people to smell him and I asked if it still hurts like it did when he was little, but he says no. I don't know what else to do?  HELP!
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Avatar universal
Try this ebook, it's been very helpful for our family: http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/beating-sneaky-poo-1.pdf
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   He doesn't  need a  therapist he needs a good  gastroenterologist.  He probably has the medical condition called encopresis.  While the following link is aimed more at children it has a lot of info on encopresis and explains the problems it presents.   http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf
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Avatar universal
Thank you my son is 18 and does the same thing he hides it under his bed and in his pants leg, he seem to be collecting it. I have tried everything he started at 16, I told him if it continues he will have to leave my home. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do. Thank you for sharing I will be taking him to a therapist.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
     Ashlely, in her book,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley (about $12 on Amazon), says that kids with ADHD are 3 times more likely to have wetting accidents then kids without ADHD.   Basic reason is that they will focus on something and not notice the urge until its too late and then since they do tend to do things without thinking - they let it go.
   Like all behavioral methods for ADHD, routine is very important.
   Probably the biggest help for you will be to figure out when this is happening.  During or right after playing video games?  His meds have worn or are wearing off?  The timing is important because then you can start a bathroom routine or check his med schedule.
  I would stop the punishments.  It Obviously hasn't helped too much anyway.  What you do want him to do is to let you know when he has had an accident so he won't then lie about or try to hide it.  The only way this will work is to not punish.  If anything lightly/slightly reward for letting you know.
   School wise - he is at an age where going poop in the bathroom where bigger kids are (during recess or lunch) can be scary.  Its not unusual for kids to hold it out of fear of the restroom.  The teacher can help here (if thats part of the problem) by letting him go during classtime.
  Hope this helps!
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Avatar universal
It is a great relief to see that we are not the only ones having this issue. Our adopted nine-year-old son has just started pee and pooping himself. He mostly pees, but he will do it in the store, at school, in the car, at home, and anywhere else. He will then try to hide it and lie about it. He has shoved soiled clothes in with clean clothes in his closet and on top of the dryer.
We have tried everything from punishment (mainly for the lying and hiding dirty clothes in clean), rewards, pull-ups, frequent restroom breaks, and doctors visits. All the doctor suggested was counseling. We just finished a round of counseling in September and he refused to talk then, so I don't see how it will help this time either. He says he doesn't care about it at all. He does have ADHD but he is on medicine for that and it is controlled. He behaves well at school and makes all A's and B's.
I am not sure what else to do!
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Avatar universal
Maybe some can help me......ive been dealing with these issues a lot longer than most of you.....my son is now 17 and still has encopresis.  He has been diagnosed at the age of 2 with ADHD, he has aggressive behavior, Oppositional defiant disorder and now they added Asperger/bipolar....I have heard  maybe he is lazy, could he have been molested, does he have a bowel obstruction, ....I have exhausted every resource and refuse to give up on him......I have never encountered this type of problem that lasts this long and no one seems to know what to do and no one can offer help.....any medical treatment facility in our area  for kids have since closed or don't know either....im losing my hair as we speak .....my stomach is in disarray...and I cry a lot....someone....please advise me if you know of anything I can do for him to help him lead a productive life.....
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Avatar universal
what medicine is your child on and i have the same problem with my son and i think that stress has a lot to do with it my son is with me for 5 days then back with his father for another 5 days and things are not consecutive i am hoping and praying that in time it will all go away but i dont see that happening because of everything he has been thru just like when i get stressed out i go smoke a cigarette he gets upset and poops in his pants or will do it just to get attentions whether the attention is negative or positive he dont care... Please if anyone has any advice for me feel free to post a comment for me
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