Child Behavior Community
why is my 4yr old ike this?
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why is my 4yr old ike this?

my 4yr old son has what i call a split personality.
on one hand he is very good he plays and shares with his brother (9 months).
on the other hand, he wont listen to me, he steals food and lies about it. he destroys thing's, he has bad attitude.

not listening & attitude ...
if he's bad he is sent up to his room and he shout at me that he Hates me! if he's told no he does tho opposite!

stealing and lying...
he has started to steal food, he eats his set meals and is allowed to snack, for eg,the other morning he took 6 yoghurts out of the fridge and ate them the hid the cartons. when i went to give him one at lunch time they were gone! so i asked my partner he hadnt had them, so i asked my son, he said no he hadnt had them.i asked him again he still said no. but as the day went on i found carton's and lids. when i found them i showed them to him and asked if he had them, agin he lied and said no.he then told me his 9month old brother had them! not only was he lying he blamed someone else.

destroying things...
he wont stop ruining things, my youngest son's toys, his toys, my things,wallpaper, ect. like today he was sent to his room for time out for lying and he got his cup (not sure where from as drinks are not allowed upstairs) and filled it up in the bathroom, poured water all over the floor, his bed, curtains and window sill. ok i know its ony water and it dries, but i feel it's not acceptible.

i just need some help as of what to do, i just cant take it any more, i wont smack him because it's cruel. but putting him in his room dosent work, neather does on the stair's.

can anyone help me. PLEASE!!

Tags: 4yrs old, 4yr, help, food, help me, son, lies, stealing, NAUGHTY, destroying
Related Discussions
Consequences! At 4 yrs old, he is certainly old enough to learn consequences and right from wrong. When he does something wrong like o=pour something all over the place, make him clean it. When he sneaks a snack and lies about it, then the next snack time, he doesn't get anything and is told why he doesn't get it. Talk to him about his actions and why they are wrong and make him do time outs ( I already know that you do this). Praise him for the great things he does or accomplishes! Use a reward chart to help him know when he has done right. Structured environment so that he has no time to get into things. Make him earn your trust back and tell him what he'll have to do to achieve this. Plan his day out for him full of activities whether that is coloring or painting, drawing, playing with play dough, playtime with toys, play dates with friends, etc. Maybe ask him once in a while what he wants to do and help him with reminders to achieve these goals. This may be going to the park or watching a movie or camping out in the living room. Make things achievable. Set up a chore chart and every time he finishes a chore, check it off and initial it and at the end of the week, reward him. Let him help with his brother. Changing diapers and feedings are almost always fun for children to help with. Does he attend play groups at all? Daycare? Maybe once a week or every other week, he can look forward to going to a aunts, uncles, or grandparents place for a sleep over. Maybe even a sleep over at a friends house. I bet he would have fun baking with you or making something with dad. I think that he is pulling all of this stuff for attention and to children, it doesn't matter what kind of attention they get, as long as it is attention. When he is bad, try not to give him the attention he wants, only do this when he is good for you. Talk to him about respect and about it has to be given in order to receive it. Kids understand more than they are given credit for. I hope this helps. Good luck.
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