why my 11 year old wont sleep

I am so worried about my 11 year old daughter, for most of her childhood i have brought her up as a single parent, so many times she has slept with me as i lived with my mum for a while.  As time has gone by after having a few failed relationships i have now settled  with someone with a new home and very happy.  The problem is my daughter hates going to sleep and will do anything to stay awake, and she likes keeping me awake as well, as you can imagine I'm getting so tired with it all now and very stressed which leaves me very unhappy.  

A month ago she started getting very anxious and started to worry about things while in bed, even saying she is scared and feels like she is going to stop breathing,  After her telling me all this it caused me a great deal of stress and worry as i feel she is going down the same road as me as a child which upsets me.  

I just don't know what to do as it it is a huge problem now as she never stays at friends and hates staying at her dads and will use any excuse to get out of it.  I just want her to be a happy 11 year old and be doing what 11 year old should be doing, having fun and not worrying.


This discussion is related to 11-Year-Old Only Child Having Sleep Problems.

[margypops]

Of couse you want her to be happy most parents do , it seems that you have taught your daughter to like being in your company , and she is not too independant so this is the area to work on,as you say she slept with you most of her childhood, so there now she cant do that and feels left out.,she is staying awake to keep you with her, so you need to set bounderies, tell her well beforehand when her bedtime is, read to her and when the time comes take her to her room tuck her in and leave the room if she comes out quietly tell her or take her back to her room, be consistant in this, she will learn very quickly, Focus on the positive side of her behavior, and praise her when she does something good. She is doing the same thing when she says she is scared, you can calm her fears but then leave her .its a bit tough at first but it does work.