why my adopted son lies and steals

[tita961]

We have an adopted 8 year old son that steals and lies all the time. He steals from his older brother, his father, and myself at first, now he is stealing from other family members. We adopted him when was 2 1/2 years old. He always knew he was adopted. Our family fully accepted him as our own child. We treated him the same way we treated my own biological son who is 12 years old now. I make sure that what ever I got my older son something, my youngest would get the same thing too. Lately he's been saying that he doesn't want to live with us anymore. I believe that it is easy for him to say this because he's angry because he's been punish so much. We have to punish him for his behavior or else he's going to think that it is ok to lie and steal. All I'm trying to do is raise two good young men. If my oldest did the same thing I would be punishing him the same way. I never had any of these problems with my oldest son. We've taken toys, tv, DS, and going out to play away and nothing has worked. I sometimes think that he can't feel or want to feel the hurt that he's causing to our family. I feel that we've given him all that we can. I don't know what to do with him.
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This discussion is related to 8 yr old step son lying and stealing.

[althepal39]

Adopted kids sometimes have issues caused by things that happened to them before they were adopted.  Even though he was 2and a half when you adopted him - he may have suffered some sort of trauma or abuse or neglect during those extremely critical developmental years.      He probably does not even realize that this is why he is acting this way.  I would take him to a good counselor - one that specializes in the needs of adopted kids.    What do you know of his life before you adopted him?