worried about 4 year old son

[SAM34]

i have a 4 year old son he was6 weeks early he was only 5 lb when he was born he born through c section when he was little he never made any noise like little babies do he just sat a watched tv in his pram he was always had chest infection every other week so he was daiagnos with asthma ever since i had him he was different to my other 3 kids he used to sit with his hand cureld up in ball and just look around never crawl he was late in walking cant get him to eat food all he eat is noodoles and youghrt he drinks a lot of milk he still in nappies as i cant get him to use the toliet he doesnt like anything dirty on him he doesnt like any thing new if i buy him new shoes i need to wait till he sleeping and put them onhe doesnt like any one touching him his speach is not good he can say a few things but not wat a child his age should say he just sit and watches tv or plays with his train doesnt play with the other kids iv had him at the doctor and they say he lazy but i no my kids and i no it not right for a kid not to eat he doeant eat sweet or drink juice he need to have iron medicen to build him please is thier any thing i can do help him

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are right to suspect that your son is not developing in a normal fashion. He is displaying developmental disorders that invite evaluation. The doctor's comment about his being 'lazy' is not to be taken seriously. You should definitely seek a second opinion, and it would make sense to pursue a developmental evaluation as soon as possible. Your son's cognitive, social emotional and motor development are all lagging. It is not uncommon for developmental problems to be associated with premature birth. In any case, press for a wide-reaching developmental evaluation. If you want to let us know where you live, we might be able to guide you about where to look for help.

[SAM34]

we live in england liverpool  iv been trying to get him to use the toliet all day and he wont do it he just scream he makes funny noise like he got some thing in the back of his throat and he grinds his teeth a lot if any one touch him he scream if my other son touches his trains he scream and start to hit him really my doctors just say he just a lazy child thank you for your time

[harrassedmother]

Hi, I felt compelled to comment as a fellow english person who has been through the system. Personally I would forget potty training for now and concentrate your efforts on getting help. You need to see another G.P. (it is your right to see someone else if you are not happy) and tell them what you have posted here. If you may find this difficult, write it down or print off this page. Ask for a referral to a paedatrician urgently. you dont want to be waiting for ages. Also ask to see a health visitor. this will give you some practical advice and will help to back up your cause. make sure you get the help you want and keep asking until you get it. you may need to make a nuisance of yourself but you have been fobbed off for too long. good luck

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Contact the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Unit at Alder Hey. Their community-based services may be responsive to your needs and arrange whatever services might be needed in the hospital itself. Thank you to the reader who offered suggestions.

[SAM34]

thank you for your time i went to the doctor today and he has a delayed development disorder so they are going to refer him i so glad i came here for advice for years iv been saying thier is something wrong with my son so it looks like he going to get the help he need now thank you

[thmom]

I just wanted you to know I have the same issues with my 3 1/2 year old. He is in a program for speech and learning delays since 3. The best thing I could've done. People tell you not to worry but it is much better to do what you can and then if he did just need catch up time there is no harm. You will be happy to start getting answers. Best wishes.

[Cervantes]

I hate to say it but you need to take your child to a mental health specialist - and i would recommend reading up on Aspergers - a form of high functioning autism.

[laalaa2004]

You have a right to be worried.  I myself have a 4yr old daughter and she was severly delayed in speech when she was two and also delayed in developmental skills too.  I got an evaluation on her and she was diagnosed with autism and other developmental disorders.  this was when she was two and she said less than 10 words.  now she is four and she is a happy little child she does have social problems and she doesnt like change.  she also has anxiety problems but once you have found out what is wrong now you can start to turn things around and get him started on the right track .  i wish you good luck and dont worry everything will get better.