please help.hi my son james is 3 and 1/2 years old.he is very smart and is able to figure things out fairly well.he is fairy far behind though.he was born at 34 weeks due to my health problems.i was induced for fear of him being stillborn as my daughter was at 36 weeks.i have antiphospholipid syndrome and have had recurrent blood clots.when james was only a day old he developed a blood clot in his intestine.he had his first surgery immediatly to remove the dying tissue.dr's removed some of his small and large intestine,the vaulve in between,and his appendix.he had 2 colostomies.at 5 1/2 weeks old his colostomies were repaired.he came home from the hospital at 7 weeks old.we knew that he may be behind due to his being born early but as he gets older it seems he gets further behind.he crawled late,walked late and started speaking late.he is able to talk but not very well.he can count to ten and tries to say his abc's.he can recognise some letters and can recognise numbers up to ten.he is still drinking a bottle and isn't potty trained.i don't feel he is ready for either.we do try to get him to drink out of a cup as much as possible but he throughs fits if he doesn't get bottles when he want's them.as far a potty training he has gone pee in the potty once and i don't push it.i feel that he isn't ready because he can't seem to tell us if he's pee'd or pooped.i don't feel he gets the concept.occasionally he will get it correct if we ask him if he's pee'd or pooped but most of the time doesn't.he also has trouble comprehendeing simple task such as "james put your pillow back on your bed".we will have to act it out to get him to understand what we are saying.yet he can figure out how to do things such as taking off a door knob childlock easily.he refers to himself in third person most of the time calling himself james,baby or big boy such as "big boy do it".he doesn't speak real well but i think the problem is more about comprehension.he is also aggressive at times.i have ended up in the emergency room because of him kicking or throwing things at me and my being on blood thinners.he doesn't seem to understand timeout or being put in a corner.if we smack his hand it doesn't seem to fase him.he gets hurts often and rarely cries unless it's a really bad one. we had wondered if maybe he is autistic but earlier i researched it and he doesn't have most of the criteria for it.i'm also wondering if this could be do to the fact that i took coumadin until i found out i was pregnant at about 8 weeks.currently my children don't have health insurance so he hasn't been checked out yet.i do see major differences in what my now 12 year old son was able to do and comprehend at his age.i am just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for us.
If insurance is still an issue, have you contacted your state for early intervention services? They will check to see if he is eligible for physical therapy, occuaptional therapy and /or speech therapy.
Wow, sound just like my James, he is 3 1/2 was born at 32 weeks (March 16th 04), had a ventricular bleed at 3 days old which caused some damage to his brain and led to mild cerebral palsy, he later had to have surgery to put a shunt (a type of drain) in his skull as he developed hydrocephalus. He too is developmentally delayed, he only sat up at 13 months, crawled at 18 months and walked independantly at 2 1/2. He has some language problems too, although he has a great vocabulary he doesn't use language very well; comprehension as you said. Potty training... no where near ready for that, he has some challenges with lumpy textured food that cause him to vomit and gag he won't spoon feed himself and he still uses a sippy cup to drink. James was diagnosed with sensory integration disfunction too which explained alot of his behaviours and apparantly is extremely common in children who were premature. James is the same when he gets hurt, he hardly ever cries unless it is something really bad, he also doesn't seem to recognise the feeling of hunger either and will go all day without eating if you don't sit him down with a meal. James is seen by speech therapist, ocupational therapists, physical therapist, a feeding and swallowing therapist and a nutritionalist all through early intervention services, they have really helped James progress and he now attends a pre school program (with the help of an aid worker) 5 mornings a week and he is doing really well. You need to find out about early intervention, they will be able to help your son, the sooner they get started with these things the better the outcome for your son, they will also be able to put you in touch with support groups too, very useful for swapping ideas.
If you live in California, there is a program called Healthy Families for children under 18. most middle class people can qualify. I'm sure whatever state you live in, they have some sort of similar program. You should check with your local Department of Health Services or public health services. As far as autism, your child only has to show 6 symptoms out of 20 or so to be diagnosed. It sounds like there are several issues you need to talk to professionals about so you can begin to help your child to grow. A behaviorist can help you with several issues such as the potty training. I work with disabled children and potty training is a big milestone. One trick I used is to get a treat he can have (depending on his diet) in which he might of not ever tasted, such as m&m's. Bring him to the potty often. Everytime he goes, give him one small treat. If he doesn't go, don't give him the treat. It doesn't matter if he understands why or the concept, what matters is that he learns the behavior. Look at it as a behavior not a concept. Giving him lots to drink for a couple days while you are working on this is helpful.
You really need to get early intervention for your child. One reason he could be aggresive is that he has no way to communicate-Almost every state has early intervention programs for developmentally delayed children-get it done as soon as possible.
The longer you wait the harder it will be for your child to overcome whatever it is that he needs to overcome. Also, medical problems, if left untreated, could progress into other areas.
Oldest child attention-hyperactive disorder, he is now 33, doing very well. Youngest son profoundly disabled, mentally and physically, he is 26 and has a lot of medical problems. He would be a lot worse if he had not gotten the appropriate attention at the beginning and througout the years.
Please, take care of it now.
Feel free to e-mail if need someone to talk to
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