33 year old daugter with learning disabilities

[georgiegirl2008]

I am at my witts end.  I have a 33 year old daughter with 2 children I love with all my heart. I suspect she has more goig on then learning problems.  I read a post today very similar to the problems I am having tho there was no children involved.  She feels I control her also.  Which it is hard not to.  She stays out all night and leaves the kids with me.  She doesn't work, really can't keep a job nor relationships.  She moves out and causes her oldest who is school aged, problems cause of changing schools.  Leaves the kids with anyone who will watch them.  If I complain even nicely she says I am arguing.  She stays all day sleeping and doesn't do anything around the house.  If I mention that she needs to help and contribute to the household she says I am arguing.  She says she hates it here and if she finds someone to take her in she does but it doesn't work out cause she doesn't do her part.  It drives me crazy and I feel on the edge of a stroke.  She has an ex who hates to pay support so he wants to take the child and I am really worried.  She is so head strong without the reasoning skills necessary to make it on her own.  Any suggestions would be very helpful but I have a feeling there is no hope.  If I put my foot down the kids suffer.



This discussion is related to LD in Adult Sibling.

[margypops]

I am so sorry and I understand your problem, as you said the kids would suffer if you stopped looking after them ,I gather it is not possible to discuss  this with her and ask her to help you out more / not be out at night. You can say NO here and not have them all the time, that would be tough because the children need you in their life, it could be that the children should go together to their Dad making sure you have access to them or you carry on the same way. Its called a Dilemma , Good Luck let us know how you get on ..

[shelbydoo137]

Your daughter is doing drugs.  There is no other way to tell you but bluntly.  She is on drugs.  You must be the abvocate for the kids and put her out and take legal ways to have custody of the children.  If you do not, one day she will get in a fit and take off with them and God only knows where and who she will leave them with.  Be strong for them and tell her that if she does not get help, you will take them away from her. Because you can.  I know that it is hard but you must put her against the wall and let her know the ultimatum.