I have a 13 year old son who has a 71 IQ. The school district classified him as MR however he has social skills of an average teenager, quiet, careing and sensitive. The district wants to place him in a special ed class with children who have more severe disabilities. We did try this class however, he was not successfull simply cause the other children required more attention. He basically was pushed to the back where he sat quietly observing and coming home upset 3 out of 5 days a week. I chose not to place him in that setting for middle school. The district felt this is the best and only place for him. I asked for him to be placed in the regular middle school colabrative classes and resourse room. They told me I was setting my son up to be a failure. He is now in a private Catholic School that I pay for. He does recieve services from the district and I pay for a tutor to come to my house 2 times a week. He does struggle but he is passing. My problem is middle school ends after 8th grade and he can not take the catholic school entrance exam because they do not allow modifications. My son is starting to feel unsuccessful, all his friends are studying for the HS entrance exam, they are reviewing for it in school and now he is getting down on himself, becoming depressed and somewhat angry.
My question is, Is there an inbetween school for kids who have severe learning disabilities? Any suggestions for where I can place him? Do kids like this grow up to have careers and families?
My husband has given up on him, he thinks I should try to homeschool him until he is at the age when he can quit school. I refuse to give up and its getting harder and harder to do this without support from my husband.
My husband is also very hard and mean to my son. My son doesn't think his dad likes him and all they do is fight.
I know I have 2 different situations, both are equally important and I am open to all suggestions and help I can get.
All your advice is greatly appreciated, Thank you!
I know of two boys, now adult, who were in your son's situation. I think the problem is the emphasis on academics. I don't see how he can ever succeed, enough to please himself that is, in an academic environment. The two men I mentioned are employed and earn their own living. One works as crew on large sailing vessels (not powered) and the other is a nursery man who works on a private estate. They are both successful because they are doing something they enjoy and are good at. For high school can't you find a place that teaches a trade? Some of these kids are really good at hands-on work.
Thank you for replying. I don't pressure him academically, I encourage him. A trade is the road we want to take however, he can't get into a trade school through the school district until he's in 11th grade. My problem is I can't find a HS for him. Thank you
I see your problem. By the way I never meant to suggest that you were emphasizing academics but, rather, that the system was. I guess there is no way around it since he would have to have some basics in the three R's for anything he would do eventually. You face a few difficult years, but there is a place out there for your son. Take heart. I have seen this miracle happen twice.
Although I don't have the answer for your problem, I would like to tell you that I have a 9 year old with a very similar problem. His IQ is low as well, 75 I think. They cal him Delayed. Although, he has some challenges with social skills, he's not disruptive or anything. Right now we live overseas and he goes to a government DODDs school. But when we go back to the US next year, we know there will be issues. I sympathize with you as my own husband used to be much harder on him, although Tye has "grown on him" these past couple of years. Also when I showed my husband how low Tye graded on developmental/ IQ tests, he started to realize that Tye actually has a medical problem and that he's not just "lazy". Now he pretty much accepts Tye and his limitations. I hope you continue to post as I am interested in what career path your son decides on. On your post, you mentioned that your boy has friends. You are lucky. Tye doesn't. He gets lonely sometimes. So, I guess your boy has something to be happy for. Good luck and keep posting.
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