Upset father

I am a father 3 and youngest daughter is 19months old and has problems since birth we just recently had an mri of her spine done and just got a phone call from the doctor and said that noticed that there is two spots on her spine they called it tehered spinal cord and they are talkin maybe doin an surgery on her spine. What do I do to stay strong and not break down ? Id there anyone who can give me some advice really desperate please send me any comments

[AnnieBrooke]

From what I have read, a tethered spinal cord surgery has a positive prognosis.  In other words, be frightened if for some reason she cannot have surgery, not if she can.  How can you stay strong?  There is no need to walk around like John Wayne if you are worried, just say you are worried, but that the outcome sounds like it will be very positive for your daughter so you are trying to keep things in perspective.  People will respect that realistic statement more than you hanging around trying to be the strong, silent type.

[AnnieBrooke]

I guess that sounded cooler than I meant it.  Of course you are worried over her condition, but she is getting treatment, the treatment should not be the worrisome part.  Share your concerns with your wife and close family, that will help you ease the stress, and have a good long talk with the doctor, that will help the most.  The main thing is not to take counsel of your fears in the middle of the night, but to get the best information you can.  

[Jimmy86]

I know its better to talk,after so many years of having to hold in my feelings its hard to let the out

[AnnieBrooke]

Jimmy, you will be amazed.  Saying what you feel is not the same as dissolving from a granite block into a pile of sand.  You can say what you feel and not fall apart, and then listen to what the other person says back (I assume you will only be talking about this to someone who loves and cares for you), and it is simply amazing what good comes from such a conversation.  Women often find this out when they hesitantly share about a miscarriage.  They get understanding and support where they were sure they would only get brush-it-off suggestions.  And it means so much.  So give it a try, talk to your wife, and don't try to "solve" things.  Just say what is in your heart, that is all you need to do.

[Jimmy86]

I know its hard cause we are both sressed out and worried at the same time and dont want to be the one who cracks want to be strong for her and the kids

[Jimmy86]

Goin tomorrow to meet with the surgen and see what he has to say. In my eyes my little girl is perfect andas long as she is happy but I hate seein her in pain and there is nothin for me to,do except try to comfort her but thats not always enough I wish I could take away the pain and it was me goin through the pain and sufferin and not her

[Dixie51]

My grandson, Jaidyn is now 20 months old.  He can still only walk about 5 wobbly steps which is where he was at 15 months. We are still waiting for a diagnosis. He walks on his knees and doesn't seem to want to walk on his own. He seems to have reached a plateau and I don't know if he will improve on any of his physical developmental  milestones.

Hi Jimmy. Sorry to hear about your little girl.  Hopefully the surgery will be a success. It's good that you have reached out to others. I know you are very worried about her as any father would be. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let us know how it goes.

[Jimmy86]

went to see the surgen and luckly she dont have to have surgery right now

[Dixie51]

I am glad she doesn't need surgery right now. Hopefully she is feeling better. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

[Jimmy86]

I just want to thank everyone for the comments and their concern about my daughter it really means alot that there is people out there who actually do care and know what I am going through

[cead]

Tethered chord syndrome has a better outcome to have the surgery at a younger age than older.  The doctor will tell you when it is time.  While you are waiting, you can research the best doctor for the procedure in the country and do not be afraid to get on an an airplane if you have to fly her across the country to the best.
It is never easy to sign an authorization form for any surgery with a child.
If you do not have the surgery, she will have problems later on with walking, balance, clumsiness etc...
May God bless your little one and your family

[skepticalpeach]

Did she get the surgery or are you still making a decision about that?

It is hard to find out there is something wrong with your child. Trust me I know. Take the time to grieve, but it is also very important to come to terms with it. Lay out a plan of action and keep your head up. No matter what remind your child you love them and show them how important they are. However hard this is on you, it's 10x harder for the little one. I hate watching my daughter struggle, but I am always by her side cheering her on. If you need to, seek out a therapist to talk to. The stronger you are, the easier it will be for you to help your child. Good luck!

[skepticalpeach]

I'm sorry, I just read that she didn't need the surgery right now. Keep us updated. :)