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my son
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my son

Hi I'm not sure if my son has anything, he's 8yrs old and will wip phoo over the bathroom walls, he can be very aggressive, controling and can be very nasty 2his little brother and sister please could someone give me any advice... He doesn't seem to understand the things he does... Please help...
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535822_tn?1389452880
It may be good old fashioned jealousy .. make sure hes getting plenty of attention and supervise him in the bathroom so he cant wipe it all over the walls ..good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, I though it could be jealously so we've made sure things get done as a family so none of the kids feel left out, and I've also set up bed time routine so each of my children get a one to one with me an it hasn't changed... He has been like this since he was little I was hoping it would be something he would of grow our of...
I now have to check the bathroom everytime he goes, but this can be hard to do all the time, ( with my other children)...
  I'm waiting on a doctors appointment, the doctors think he could have a learning disability but they said he could have something elce with it... Thank you for your reply xXx
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535822_tn?1389452880
It cant do any harm to have him looked at , let me know what they say ..good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a degree in child studies and have run a daycare for 25yrs. It's about everything your nickname monster change that. Be better as for the poo he would be cleaning that up himself. Supervise those children if you or someone can not watch him he can sit and wait until someone is available. Expect more be more he's eight yrs old. Yes get him tested but it is not an excuse, he can't do such and such because he has whatever. To many excuses to many meds. If you need help go get, who cares what others think do what is right for your child.
Now my story. At 3 I knew there was something wrong. I was told oh he's a boy (our daughter is extremely smart ) and I was comparing the two. No that's not it anyway at 7 he is found to be dyslexic. A very bad case lots of issues, never made excuses, he is now 23 doing so much better. But the growing up yrs not good we did our best got help at every turn still drugs, booze put him out at 15 , again at 17. Came back went to rehab. And again rehab. It stuck. The point is doing the right thing is never the easy thing and sometimes it doesn't work. Do it anyway.
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535822_tn?1389452880
I agree with Charlotte give him a bucket and let him clean up his mess.every time .and make sure he does it properly
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1006035_tn?1391310794
It definitely could be related to a learning disability or a developmental disorder. Make sure you take what your doctors say very seriously. It's never too late to help a child with special needs, but it will go much better for him if you start him in therapy early. How is he at school? What do his teachers say about him? Does he have any other odd behaviors?

While I would have him clean the mess up, I also wouldn't make a huge ordeal of it. Poop is gross to us, but for some reason it isn't to him. If you sit there and say he is gross and being terrible he probably won't understand. Just put it in terms that you would for a young child, "we keep our poop and pee in the potty. If you can do that you will get a reward, like candy." Most children don't play with something like poop to be deviant.

If he is diagnosed with something might I suggest looking into hiring a PCA? A PCA is a glorified nanny paid for by your insurance to help care for a person with special needs. This would make your life so much easier, especially since you have other children who need you. The PCA could check on him in the bathroom every time for you!
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Avatar_n_tn
Does he also have an uncontrolable appetite if so you might want to make sure that he does not have Prader Willies syndrome. Also you might want to look at food allergies as they can affect behavior:
http://borntoexplore.org/

I know it says ADD/ADHD but it is about behavioral issues in general.

I hope this helps,
achilles2
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535822_tn?1389452880
I would say its best to try to find out if your son is upset by something happening before you go the disorder route, very often there is a reason for the issue happening .good luck
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973741_tn?1342346373
I think you've been on the right track and let us know how the appointment you mentioned in another post with the developmental pediatrician goes.  Finding answers is the key no matter what they are.  Peace
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535822_tn?1389452880
achilles2 has a good point check out Prader Willies syndrome .
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973741_tn?1342346373
Prader Willi has a very distinct side effect profile.  It revolves primarily around eating--------  the number one symptom of children is excessive over eating and weight gain/ obsession with food.  They fixate on food and often have unusual patterns of seeking it.  And they consume mass quantities.  It is a rare disorder and actually a genetic defect of chromosone 15.  These kids often have signs of this at birth including abnormalities of the face and skull and failure to thrive.  Then in the toddler years, the very quick weight gain occurs with the overeating and food seeking (including hoarding) begins.  These kids also often have undeveloped sexual organs and scoliosis (curved spine).  

It never hurts to look into things----  but this disorder is quite serious and typically not subtle in nature to go unnoticed until the elementary years.  And sadly, these kids have many secondary complications as they reach puberty.  

Your developmental specialist that you are seeing would pick up on this disorder right away, so you can probably rule it out or in fairly quickly.  good luck
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2141741_tn?1336668572
Sounds like my 7 year old daughter, you should talk to his doctor about aspergers syndrome its on the autism spectrum. My daughter was diagnosed at 5 years old but she also has PDD (pre developmental delay) and OCD. Now its been a few years and she is doing great!! Of course with the PDD I have noticed that she is mentally a 5 year old. But I couldn't be more happy with a diagnosis now I can help her when she has her meltdowns. I hope you find a diagnosis or get answers. If you have questions you can message me.
Natasha
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Avatar_f_tn
First, I would like to encourage you to follow up on some of the advice given above...But let me tell you a little about myself- I work as a mental health counselor at an inpatient childrens psychiatric hospital- the main ages I work with are 3-12 year olds. I cant say I've seen it all, but I have seen alot. First,  Prader Willi Syndrome is a rare disorder,as mentioned, but there are a lot of distinctual aspects to that disorder, and since you didnt mention anything that would nec. indicate that, it's always ok to bring it up to a dr as a possibility- but I would encourage you to research that disorder a bit before worrying at all.
Now, as far as your son's behaviors- how was his developmental milestones- thats important. Also, 8 years old is old enough to know what he is doing- even if it's not something he does maliciously. Most of the children that I see in my hospital are mentally delayed...which has nothing to do with being mentally retarded. It just means that your child may have deficits in certain areas- that is why I said to take mental note on his milestones as well as your pregnancy: was it a normal delivery- on time, premature, etc. Milestones such as crawling, walking, talking. These could be big indicators for drs to help determine why he may be doing this. You said he doesnt know what he is doing, so is he on the same mentality level as a typical 8 year old or is he maybe a little younger than 8 emotionally?

Also, I know this is the last thing anything a parent wants to hear or even consider but about 90% of the children that have come to my hospital who have smeared feces has had some form of sexual abuse. You mentioned you have other children and I'm assuming you have had babysitters, etc. Basically your children aren't by your side 24/7. Immediately people think, my kids arent around anyone who could/would do such a thing- I know everyone who watches them, or it is always family who watches the children. It doesnt have to have been an adult. Alot of children have come in and have been sexually abused by other children, not knowingly. In any case, counseling may be a route to go- sexual abuse or not, I think you should definately pursue counseling for him. Also, although it is weird for us to make the connection, smearing feces is often considered a sexual act, some mental disorders, such as bipolar, have kids act out strange innappropriate behaviors that seem to have come from nowhere....You may consider looking into your family background and seeing if you have any form of mental illnesses on you or your husbands side of the family.  
Good luck and please let us know if you find out anything!
Lacey
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Avatar_f_tn
My friends little girl does exactly the same things. She does have a disability, although, she is very smart and does it mainly for control. Controlling the other members of the family. My daughter has some issues with her behaviour also, and we are half way through a behaviour programme, based on ignoring the bad behaviour, immediately diverting their attention onto something that they enjoy or are interested in and then praising them for their good behaviour only. It's hard work but requires 100% continuity and we are seeing a difference. Both of our girls have the same disability but only my daughter is following this programme at present. The difference that this is making to us is a having a great relaxing effect on us all and though we still have challenging behaviour, it's much better.
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