potty training an older kid

my son is 9 he will be 10 next month. He stills poops in his pants. He has ad/hd,Opppitional defince disdorder, and persive development delay and bordline retardition. He only goes poop once every two weeks and i up his diet and all. He says he is too lazy to go is there anything i can do to get him to go on the potty not in his pants. Ive tired about everything.

[AnnieBrooke]

I would talk to the pediatrician and see if you can get a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist.  He probably has a lower intestine, bowel and colon that are not functioning properly, and needs a better look at the situation rather than just you tweaking his diet.  Pediatricians are not the greatest at this problem, but the GI doctor should know about it.  Google "bowel impaction" or "encopresis" for more information.  If a child only poops every couple of weeks and can't control it at other times, that is pretty much textbook for encopresis, it is not that he is being defiant or even lazy.  His colon is simply not sending him a signal that he should poop, and it can't contract properly.  The treatments to discuss with the doctor (once you find one who understands the severity of the issue and the fact that it is a medical problem and not a psychological one) are having the child's colon cleaned out at the hospital, and then rigorous follow-up by you to give your child a dose of stool softener in his food every day, for a whole long time, to let the colon heal and begin to work the way it is supposed to.  Sometimes this stage takes a whole year.  But it's easier than dealing with poopy pants forever, and the poor kid is at risk for a lifetime of problems with irritable bowel if you can't get this working.

Good luck!

[DLS22574]

There was a family member on my husband's side that was pooping in his pants up until 10-11 years old.  His parents thought he was doing it on purpose because otherwise he was normal.  They found out later that he had a severely impacted bowel, and he had to have surgery to remove it.  I guess he had to relearn the 'signals' again.  This was about 5 years ago and he hasn't had any problems since then as far as I know.

I've heard people who are slow mentally are more prone to have bowel issues like this.  I realize he told you he was too lazy to go, but his age and the fact he only goes once every two weeks seem concerning to me.  Perhaps the works might be getting gunked up and he doesn't realize he's having a BM until it's too late.  It would be worth checking out with your doctor just to make sure.