welcome to Holland..

Welcome To Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.  It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.  The Michelangelo David.  The gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags and off you go.  Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!  I'm supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan.  They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.  It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place.  It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.  But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips.  Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.  And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever  go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

[margypops]

oh thats so thought provoking sweetpea , and so very true ..thanks for sharing that ....

[sweetpea03]

Of course. :) ... I remember a friend of mine who's baby has been through multiple surgeries and medical treatment said this really helped her see 'straight'. She was so depressed that her dream of what motherhood was "supposed" to be didn't happen, but she does have one beautiful little girl and she is one strong mama.

[Dragon1973]

Dear Sweetpea03,
It is so wonderful that you have put this is such a perfect place!

It made me think and also reminded me that I should be thankful for her work.  Because of Emily and her work, Welcome to Holland, I was motivated to write my own "analogy" and have it published!  She had spoken at a conference last year and had said, she wished maybe someone would write a newer more modern one and so, with that in mind I did.  It has since been published in Magazines and on several Websites for Down syndrome.
I am very proud of my work, but I am much more proud of my son who is absolutely the greatest inspiration which gave me the courage and strength to write it.  I hope that someday it will become as popular as Emily Kingsley's work, but if not, I know in my heart that it was meant for my son and all the exceptional children out there!
If anyone is interested to take a read of my work, you can visit my profile - there you will find the address to my blog where it is published directly under the "Welcome to Our House" banner.  I hope that you all will read it and let me know what you think.

I will never forget how this little story made it possible for me to be happy when I received my son's prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome.

Sincerely,
Sandi (Dragon1973)
MedHelp Genetics Community Leader;
Down syndrome Community Leader & Ds Group Forum Founder/Moderator