Even with a condom?

[bengaltiger]

I just found out my husband cheated on me 4 times with 4 different women this year starting Feb and swears that he wore a condom, yet he gave me chlamydia.  Is this possible?  Could he get it even while wearing a condom?  One of these women gave him oral sex without a condom.  He had sex with 2 of them using a condom and the 4th he got a hand job from or so he says.  He swears there was no one else and I am still trying to wrap my head around how he got chlamydia in these circumstances.  I found out only when he and I both got symptoms 2 weeks ago.  In fact I had irregular bleeding a couple of months ago and a urinary tract infection last month, both of which I am putting down to the chlamydia infection.  So please let me know if it is possible to get infected in any way using a condom.  If not, I guess my husband has more to confess.    

[jamiejackcorn]

I've been told it's very rare to get Chlamydia from oral sex.. However, they say it IS possible if the woman has Chlamydia in their throat.

[Dallasfan]

Condoms are very effective in preventing STDs, but they are not perfect. In the many years we have treated Chlamydia cases  , I have never seen a case of oral Chlamydia. Both you and he need to go for treatment. And he needs to use more discretion.

[bengaltiger]

Thanks for the responses.  Well I guess the only explanation is the rare oral chlamydia or a condom that did not protect.  Can't see why husband has to lie anymore since he has confessed to 4 major indiscretions but who knows what the real truth is!  Maybe he went for seconds without a condom.  If I ever find out I will post it.
Both of us were on the 10 day Doxy treatment and hopefully it has gone away.  Doc said we could only re-test in a month for accurate results.    

[PinPinPatrick]

Yes you can catch Chlamydia in the throat, it can happen with women who give many men oral sex.  

You can also catch Chlamydia with a condom, I am living proof of that, it happened to me.  What happened was that the infected condom touched my underwear, and I put my underwear back on, I caught Chlamydia like that.  It has happened and puzzled even the Doctors.

[bec672]

Do you really at the end of the day, want to know how you got it? Isn't it bad enough that he did what he did and gave it to you?
He may well have got it from giving one of these women oral sex or using his hands on/in her and then touching himself. The possibilities are endless and imagining the acts only makes it worse.
I feel your pain, my husband cheated over and over and never thought of a condom especially when these strangers offered him bareback.
Concentrate on getting yourself well.

[bengaltiger]

Well, he swore up and down that he wore a condom and I do believe he did but as you said the possibilities are endless.  He is not into giving oral sex to women as I have yet to receive that in 10 yrs of marriage.  Yes, my pain is beyond belief.  All this happened between Feb-May 09.  I was very sick with a severe heart condition and was not able to enjoy sex often enough in 2008 although I did try my best.  I guess he was frustrated and did not understand my level of discomfort having so much fluid surrounding my heart and the reaction of my meds and neither did I for that matter. If he had opened up to me and told me how he was feeling maybe we could have prevented this. He had been an exemplary loving husband until then, I cannot find fault with him until the first trespass.  On some level I think he felt he did not want to demand sex from his sick wife and justified his desires by having sex with strangers.  The most important change was accessibility.  In March we expanded our restaurant into a bar and you know the kind of women who come into a bar.  My husband is an extremely good looking, young (36) and smart man, a 10 by any standards, not to mention successful.  These women just threw themselves at him!  Each one of them asked him if he was married to which he said yes and yet two of them stayed back until all the other customers left and two of them came back at closing time, all in order to offer sex to him! They were all between the ages of 21-27.  Not one of them ever came back or called him. One was from out of state and one was married and the other two told him his wife was a lucky woman!!! How stupid and dumb is that? I think they could tell it was just meaningless sex for him.  He does not remember a single name. Anyway, in May I recovered and although I will be on meds for the rest of my life, I was able to function like a normal human being and wife.  He cried like a baby in my arms when we found out about the chlamydia and he swore to me that he did not have sex with anyone else after we resumed sex in May and I believe him.  I believe him because I have the surveillance video which he gave to me.  I watched it after the date of the last encounter and there is nothing untoward on it.  I cannot bring myself to watch the encounters, I know the pictures will be stamped in my brain forever if I do.  Maybe one day when I am strong enough I will.  He told me he thought he would feel better with each encounter but he did not.  He has sworn it will never happen again and funnily enough we have become closer than ever and were able to talk about things we never did before.  Of course I still wake up crying and my level of trust has diminished greatly and I feel betrayed to the core esp after all the hardships we went through together in the past. But the heart wants what the heart wants.  I love my husband so much and I know he does love me, perhaps not as much as I do, who knows, how can it be measured?  I know we both feel better after the Doxy and hopefully that will be the end of that. I will of course, never forget what he did, no matter what his reasons and maybe one day I can forgive him or maybe not, I don't know yet. I know that the unwavering trust I had in him is gone and will never come back.  I will always be vigilant and get an STD check up every 6 months.  Our doc ran all possible tests on both of us and everything else was negative.  I just hope this chlamydia incident has put the fear of god in him and I have added a few of my own for good measure!  He has since, been loving, attentive and kind.  Leaving him would not have made me feel better.  This is life, we have to take the good with the bad, we cannot control everything that happens.  The pursuit of happiness has always been the goal of my life and all I want to be is happy again and I do believe I can!