Daisy in final stage

[KrissyM87]

About three weeks ago found out my best friends numbers were off the charts. First vet suggested euthanasia, second gave me some options. I have been researching like crazy and trying everything possible, hollistic and prescribed by the vet. My Daisy, who will be 17 in April has been fighting hard. We have been doing SB fluids twice daily at home, along with many other things around the clock. I allowed my hopes to get to high. She has been so happy and alert, earing again (though still reluctantly) then the last couple days has started to refuse food again. Ive bought every option available and cooked many other options, she just won't eat it. She still keeps sniffing around looking for "junk" food dropped by my little ones. Today she stole a doughnut! Why would she be so drawn to eat junk food? I'm considering adding sugar to her food even though i know it is bad for her. I feel i have nothing to lose. She is waisting away and i can't watch her starve to death.

Another question. Does anyone have some great tips for giving the sb fluids? She is starting to fight me and it's breaking my heart, lately she is jerking around so much i end up having to stab her multiple times. I cannot keep doing this! I know if i stop the fluids she will get worse quickly but am not ready for that decision. I don't want to.be selfish and keep making her fight but i don't want to give up too soon as she is so happy agin, following me around again. How can i ever decide when she has had enough? This emotional roller coaster is killing me. I have had daisy since i was 11! She got me through soooo many hard times, now it is my turn but i feel i am not being strong enough for her. Please help

we are retesting her bloodwork tomorrow and im overly anxious. Her numbers about three weeks ago were crazy high. Bun off the charts >180  creatine 6.5  phoshporus 16 something. (she is sleeping on me or id go grab tge paper for reference)

Thanks for the support, no one in my life can understand right now, so im thankful to have found this group!

[tonyb286]

Hi Krissy. There is a time to fight - and for some, a time to say enough is enough. We do our very best to make the right judgement. No one can ask for more than that. I'm sorry you are suffering from emotional turmoil and physical ailments and hope you get enough rest and peace to enjoy (not the right word, but you know what I mean) the rest of your pregnancy.

Good health and best wishes to you.

Tony

[KrissyM87]

Thank u all for the kind words. Things have been hard again. Ive been crazy emotional, pregnancy is not helping there lol. I just miss her every day. I turned up with a stomach ulcer (self induced im sure) and have been fighting chronic kidney infections...ironic. Still trying to get over this awful infection, it has been two months. Im glad i can have the slightest understanding of what my Daisy fought through, but feel ao guilty for making her fight through feeling much worse than im dealing with. Glad to be feeling a bit better though and see some familiar namea again. It was just too hard to get on here for awhile. Thank you all again!

[Hazelkumari]

HI Krissy,

I am a bit late to the posting and I just wanted to let you know that, personally, I think you were very brave for making the hardest decision any pet owner would ever have to face.

Take care Krissy..

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose...
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. ~Helen Keller

[DogBlog]

You certainly have had your share of issues to deal with!!  This shows how great a Mom you are going to be.  Congrats on the pregnancy.  Let's hope this means things are going to get better...only good news now!!

My best,
Charlene

[tonyb286]

Hi. Good to know things have settled down a little, and many congratulations on your pregnancy. My guess is you're going to be even busier by the start of 2016. :)

Tony

[KrissyM87]

Thank you guys. Things have been settling down a bit, i have altered Jewelys diet and she seems great still. I had a cat i adopted out back in sept turn up inac with a spinal injury so i am dealing with his medical needs as well, but he is doing well on kennel.rest and pain meds. I finally have some happy news, i am pregnant. Hope all is well with you all. I will keep you posted on Jewely. Thanks

[tonyb286]

Hi Krissy. I can't really add to what others have said, but just wanted to let you know you were on my mind over the last couple of weeks. I know you're going through some bad times, and that's so unfair after all you have already gone through, but I know you are strong and will cope with this. It is just possible the neighbours chemical treatment up to the fence border could be an issue. Have you spoken to them about it (they may not be aware of the problems such treatments can cause to domestic pets and other wild animals). Is there anything you can do to line the bottom of the fence to prevent contamination on your garden? Just a thought.

Tony

[Earlsteffie]

Krissy, Here is Dr. Jean Dodds 'Liver Cleansing Diet':

http://canineliverdiseasefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/dr20dodd27s20liver20diet.pdf

Good Luck and The Best to you and your Friend.

Earl

[Earlsteffie]

Krissy, No doubt you are in need of peace and you are not getting it, and I hate to hear about Jewely. First, I fully understand the massive financial strain you are now faced with. The ultrasound is well worth it,....your Vet can only 'Rule Out' causes in order to see daylight. Royal Canine makes a 'Hepatic LS' food for such Liver Problems. Dr. Jean Dodds has a Liver & Kidney 'cleansing diet that would be a good direction to head in. Her website is at Hemopet. As per toxins,....your neighbor, etc., please don't loose sight of the age factor at 13. For me, as per vaccinations, I only 'Titer' with Hemopet/Dr. Dodds. I Titer for Parvo/Distemper starting after their puppy vaccinations and I always got three year extensions from Dr. Dodds. As per Rabies, I no longer vaccinate past ~7 or 8 years old.....I Titer. Yes, I know,.....local political laws state otherwise. Its been shown countless times, especially with the rabies vacc, that the initial vacc's are good for a lifetime. It's a personal call/decision. Most all traditional Vets WILL NOT tell you about Titers.....it's up to you to know such.

The main thing right now is to get with your Vet on altering the diet and possibly emailing Dr. Dodds at Hemopet with the blood test results.

Remember, what ever happens, ALL OF US do our best with what we can afford.....there is a bottom of everyone's money barrel. If it wasn't for my Father helping me financially at times, I couldn't have afforded what happened ,....just a brutal fact of life.

Wish I could add more.

Earl

[KrissyM87]

So i took my 13 year old husky for a senior blood panel to be proactive.  Comes back her ALT is 257 with is more that 2x the highest normal range. Obviously, not good news...hey her kidneys are great...

Anyone have any knowledge on the liver, when ONLY the ALT is elevated? Vet says we need ultra sound, to look for cancer. Of course i want to do it right away but you all know how much ive been spending the last couple months, im seriously struggling. Her calcium is slightly elevated so the vet wants to look further into that too. I guess could be looking at normal aging hepatitis or could indicate something very serious.

My neighbors fence is right against ours and we NEVER use chemicals. He sprays his lawn and fence line heavily. I have had a very fast progressing kidney failure, rare spleen cancer and now some type of liver problem. They were all eating different diets. Purified water no flea and tick chemicals...daisy stopped getting vacc at 12 at her first sign of liver probs and Jewely (husky) stopped at 11. Do you guys think it could be the neighbors chemicals. I feel like it could seriously be toxin exposure, what do you guys.think about it all?

My pets have never looked their age...they are my family. I take pride in the good care i give them so with losing two already and now possibly something bad going on with the third, i just don't know what to do...

[KrissyM87]

Thank you guys. It's pretty unbearable right now but i know will somehow carry on. What choice do we have? Thank you for the prayers and thoughts. Know that i think of you all to. Thank you for helping me through this.

[DogBlog]

Oh Krissy......I can't even begin to imagine your pain right now.  I pray it wasn't done by a human.  I would never be able to forgive them.  This was not your fault....although I know that doesn't help the grief.  Please know you are in my prayers and I'm sending many hugs from afar.

My best,
Charlene

[Earlsteffie]

Oh, I am so sorry that now this has happened to you with Lucion. I can only tell you that I can relate 100%. Back in Sept when Steffie's kidneys started to finally give way, the sky literally opened up with negative things seemingly attacking me from all directions......Of ALL TIMES when I was in desperation of attending Steffie. It was as if I was being punished for no reason.

Yes, as with you, I still think it was all a nightmare, and somehow I will wake up and Steffie will be back and life will return to fun times again. Well, we both know that is impossible, so, somehow we take it a day at a time and try to make sense of it all. Actually, after 5 months, personally, I don't think I'll ever see things 'normal' again. My particular situation is that Steffie was a victim of a 'REPUTABLE' breeder, not just the CKD, but ALL the other issues she had since ~2 yrs old. I now DO NOT trust anything anymore, because I never had a companion with so many health issues. But, with your situation Krissy, Daisy was blessed with a very long healthy life with you, and believe me, you wouldn't have wanted to walk in my shoes the past 7 years constantly not knowing.....it was not a cake walk.

The grief journey for me is different than most, because I live alone and I do not have to put on a public face or hide in my grieving. For you, it's a different journey with family, etc..Many say that staying occupied......staying busy, helps. Well, yes, that is true somewhat, but, that does not resolve the problem........only time, hopefully, is the only anecdote, NOT getting another companion.

Well, I Thank You for taking time with your kind words. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it ALL go away, but, I think this site is the best anecdote, .....everyone here 'UNDERSTANDS'.

Take Care of yourself Krissy.

Regards,

Earl

[KrissyM87]

Thank you guys, you have helped me more than you know. I got a reminder card in the mail about being time for Daisys senior wellness visit. So i called to let them know (different vet than who.treated her at the end) and it has only been 11 months since Daisys last blood work, and it was great. She wven had  dental done. So this really did happen so.so fast. I feel like there must of been something else going on and the kidney failure was secondary but that doesn't really matter at this point. I just needed to feel like i didn't miss something. I have guilt about not getting her to the vet sooner. Now i feel a little better about that.

So in other news. I have felt like.each day i have to pick up the pieces of myself and paste them.back together, i was starting to feel a little better and then today i was hit with a sledgehammer. I awoke to find my strictly indoor cat dead in my driveway. He must of slipped out a loose screen in a window. There is no obvious cause of death so we are having a.necropsy done as a couple of my neighbors have made it clear they do not.like animals. Im worried for my other pets too, if someone poisoned my sweet.boy.

Lucion was one of those.amazing cats that acted like a dog. He tolerated two toddlers and never once even began to get mean with them. He was the sweetest soul and he deserved better. This one is so.hard because it wasn't his time yet. All i keep seeing is him alone and cold dying in the driveway trying to reach me. I am so sick. This month i lost both my animal best friends and i don't know what to.do.with myself. I keep hoping this is all just a nightmare i will wake up from. I mean seriously?! Him too?  Thanks for listening

[Earlsteffie]

Krissy, What that guy said made all of us mad. What I posted today might be misconstrued, but, I think a lot of people think that there is a miracle cure, an escape route with CKD....there isn't. The kidneys cannot regenerate like the Liver. Anyone that has been through this horrible, traumatic event with their 'Best Friend' should admit(If they are honest about it) that they experienced guilt during the grieving journey.....As time goes by, your perspective on what REALLY happened in one's struggle to save their Beloved Friend becomes 20-20 again. This guy will have major regrets and again, I feel sorry for his pets. He will have 'TRUE' Guilt,....NOT 'Grief' related guilt. 'Grief Related Guilt is what I was referring to in my posting today.

The other big issue that I've picked up on at this sight was the 'Primary' or 'Secondary' form of CKD. I have a friend whose Dog was diagnosed with CKD(Prematurely by Vet) because of the urinalysis detected 'Protein Loss'. Well, further testing found that the thyroid was the cause and his numbers went back to a good range,...BUT....the kidneys were damaged AND you can't reverse the damage or stop the progression......you can only slow it down. His dog is 11.

Point in case, there was NOTHING else you could have done for Daisy, especially considering her age. There in lies the 'Grief Related Guilt'.....we all are desperate to waive a magic wand to save our 'Best Friend' in Stage 4.......we all become frantic and desperate because nothing seems to be working.

For myself, as I said back when, I cannot personally go through this again....three times is too many for me at my age. I experienced unfound feelings of guilt three times in a row, but, its sadly just part of the grief journey because I couldn't waive a magic wand.

Take Care Krissy.

[DogBlog]

Please do not give that guy the satisfaction of doubting yourself.  I thought of you immediately when I read it and I was so angry thinking you might be reading it.  You did the most unselfish thing for Daisy.  She was suffering terribly.  I wish we had the same option for loved ones!!  I've watched too many people die horrible deaths.

You were and are the most special of pet lovers.  This guy just confirmed to me that I was a good pet lover....but I've had more time to heal.  STAY CONFIDENT!!!

Lots of hugs,
Charlene

[KrissyM87]

and now I'm just mad after reading that post about how we should feel guilty for what we did. I am obviously still struggling with the decision, and reading about Darbie's struggle at Easter and then improvement makes me wonder even more about Daisys struggle at Easter. I think i only keep coming back to "i should of gotten her to fight longer" is because this is so unbearable..but i know it was unbearable for.her :(

[KrissyM87]

Hey guys, got Daisy's remains back. Having really hard time. (not to mention they got the engraving wrong, but are sending a new name plate for the box :/ )

[DogBlog]

Tony is so right........a pack hug would be wonderful!!  Yes, one day at a time.  As I said before, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your grief.  It's yours alone (except for those of us on this forum who have breaking hearts for you!!!!)

I found the "first times without" to be bad days......Started out with first weekend without Sammie, then first Holidays.  Even cried on Easter because it was my first Easter (in 16 years) without her.  So.....your grief will be very normal.

Giving you cyber hugs!!

Charlene

[tonyb286]

You got it right there Krissy, one day at a time. If we could, we'd all be there with you, giving you a huge and collective "pack hug". Stay strong.

Tony

[KrissyM87]

Thank you guys. Today was pretty awful, first time i went in my groom shop since it happened. Last time i was there my Daisy was with me. Her bed was still on the floor by my table. I kept randomly breaking down, as i work alone and couldn't keep my mind from drifting. One day at a time i guess.

[tonyb286]

Hi. The "what ifs" are very normal ... but in time, you will accept the right time had come and - had you left it - it would have meant more suffering. Grief brings us doubts, tears and sometimes even anger. Our world has been upturned, so little wonder we become emotionally dislodged.

We all understand. It's hard. We are here for you through this dreadful time.

Tony x

[DogBlog]

Tomorrow will be hard and I'll be thinking of you.  Maybe getting back to your routine will be helpful....although hard.  It will get easier with time but give yourself the right to grieve.....and however much time you need.

We all continue to beat ourselves up that we let them go too soon!!  I just try to remember how her final day was and how I would never have wanted her to have another day like that....it helps me, a little.

More hugs today,
Charlene

[KrissyM87]

Thank you Charlene, im really thinking that the tears have to run out sometime soon. I start working tomorrow again and maybe being busy will help but since i have a groom shop at my house and my daisy usually sleeps alongside my table, im thinking it may be pretty hard. Starting last night i'm going through the beating myself up thinking maybe i gave up on her too soon, maybe if i pushed her just a little more we could of gotten her feeling good again. I don't think that's true and i don't think she wanted to be pushed anymore but i still.cant stop the "what ifs... "  thanks for listening