Thanks Tony for teaching me how to post. So...the Sammie update. She is down to 7.8 lbs.....most of her life she was steady at 13.5 lbs.....poor baby is so skinny. The vet's comment was "she a little bit worse" but not as bad as she was at the beginning of the year. Her red cell count is slightly up, Her crea is 3.2,,,,,,in January it was 4.9.....went down to 2.8...now up to 3.2. Bun is 84.....in January it was 108...went down to 68....now 84.
Vet wants us to try to get her weight up....suggested the cottage cheese. She does not want to start the fluids yet...feels it's not time. Sammie eats 5 to 6 times a day and she said feed her more often if she wants it. Tony...I'm going to read your article and see if I can find other things to give her.
I was concerned about giving her too much protein but vet said recent studies show that if the body isn't getting enough protein, it takes it from somewhere else in the body and that affects other organs. It's such a balancing act!!
That's all for now.....any suggestions are MORE than welcome.
Hi Charlene ... and Hi Sammie. Yes, the protein debate is a complex one. While low protein diets are generally a good idea, it is only because the damaged kidneys have problems processing protein - BUT only because poor quality protein contains lots of elements that stress the kidneys, and typically processed dog food contains LOW quality proteins. Specialised manufactured kidney diet dog foods tend to be low in protein, but the protein is a much higher quality, so much easier for the kidneys to deal with.
Dogs do need protein, because it helps metabolise carbohydrates into energy and/or helps to store it as adipose tissue (and consequently helps put weight on Sammie). High quality protein is in all human grade meats, so these are always worth buying as an alternative to special kidney diet dog foods.
Dogs don't metabolise carbohydrates as well as fatty meats - which is why I always recommend keeping the skin on chicken and/or going for fatty meats such as pork, lamb and beef. Green tripe is, as you know, a favourite of mine, because not only does it supply great nutrients, it is also low in phosphorus and high in probiotics (good for the kidneys).
More about diet is in the article, which I hope helps:
You are right, it IS a balancing act. There is no doubt Sammie is doing very well and while his levels are jumping slightly, it is not extreme. Your vet is right, getting more weight on is important, because it provides energy, warmth and comfort and keeps the organs working as well as they can.
I've read Sammie's update and Tony's post. I send you my best wishes and hope you find the perfect balance for Sammie's diet.
I am confused about the IV fluids. Sammie is so small, I would hope they would suggest a minimal amount of fluids with a smaller needle. In the beginning, I purchased the (fluid bag, "Ringers") and had the staff help me with Darbie every few days. Actually, I'm going to start a new post. As I reflect over the past 6 months, I do question "why"...
The doctor said she wants to wait just a little longer before we start the fluids. Unfortunately, Sammie has had a bad couple of days. Vomited several times (but still wans to eat!!). Seems more lethargic. In the middle of the night she couldn't get comfortable and her stomach was making awful squirting noises. If not better in morning....back to the vet. Oh this horrible disease!!!
This sounds similar to Darbie's bad days, but Sammie's good appetite is very encouraging! Out of desperation, we paced out Darbie's water intake every few minutes and fed her pieces of low sodium Ritz crackers, which she accepted, thank goodness. (As a child, I recall getting ginger ale and saltines, so I hoped for the best.) This method did stop the vomiting and at least sustained her until we could encourage her to eat again.
I hope this morning is better for you...Always, our thoughts and prayers are with you!
I'm following your posts. Sounds to me like those bad days are still every now and then, which is the best you can expect. Just remember, it's the good days that count, and I think you are doing brilliant jobs of looking after your best friends. Hope Sammie feels better today, Charlene.
Thanks Lynne and Tony.....we might have figured out the problem.....keep ypur fingers crossed. I thought I was being such a good Mom by cutting up fresh green beans ffrom our garden. I started noticing when she vomited that the bean portion of the grren bean was coming up undigested. I think our beans were too big and the bean part was too much for her tummy. I made a new batch of food and used unsalted canned green beans...much more soft!! She did okay today so we're hoping we figured it out!!
How uncanny....Each day I make a point of examining Darbie's stool for "abnormalities". I couldn't imagine what I fed her that looked like corn kernels?! This morning I realized it was the beans from the snow pea pods! Now, I'm laughing because it's like I wrote your post for you! My guess is you did figure it out and that's a great feeling! I'm sure Sammie is very forgiving:)
Actually, they are SUGAR SNAP PEAS, which are large, but I lightly steam 1-2 and dice up in her meals...Go figure, I must cut around the bean itself! I will be cautious too and check out the unsalted canned green beans.
Unfortunately, I now don't think it's the beans. I bought unsalted canned ones and mushed them....she still vomited. Last night I mixed the chicken and tapioca with mashed sweet potato and she hasn't vomited. Hope the sweet potato is okay for her.
Hi. Just wanted to confirm that sweet potato should only be given in VERY small quantities. They are quite high in phosphorus (about 40mg per serving), which will impact on the kidneys. Dogs do love sweet potato, so it's worth considering chopping maybe a dessert spoon of sweet potato up and mixing it with kd diet food or suitable meats or poultry to encourage eating.
Tapioca is low in phosphorus, so that's fine. Chicken or pork should be human grade, meaning you can buy it for humans to eat, which means in turn that the protein content is much higher quality and therefore easy on the kidneys. Tony
I hope Sammie has been feeling better and managing to hold her food down. Everyday is a quest to find the winning combination. Darbie has turned back on to the whole milk plain yogurt, so I'm grateful for that. I'm going to remember the tapioca when needed!
Darbie has an appt Aug 11 for CKD bloodwork. At this time, I sense she may be fighting a UTI, so I have a urine sample ready to go. She gets a daily round of IV fluids, but although she "sulks", she tolerates well and gets a new squeaky toy. Yes, I have no boundaries when it comes to spoiling:)
No presence of UTI! We were almost finished with the antibiotic therapy when Darbie got sick on vacation and refused foods and meds. I maintained cleaning her with baby wipes after her #'s, but I feared we did not get enough antibiotic in her. So, even after several weeks, she has tested clean! I'm very happy as I'd hate to see her compromised any further. Grateful her immune system is strong! You can bet she got a new toy after that call:)
Hi Lynne....thanks for thinking of Sammie......right now she's having a good couple of days after bad days last week. My husband and I really thought we were at the end....but as happens so often with this disease, she seems to have pulled out of it. So grateful for the good days and every day she's with us....I know it's the same for you and Darbie.
Charlene, my heart feels for you after reading your post. There's no doubt it's an emotional roller coaster ride, especially when events get so extreme you think it's "the end"...So happy that Sammie turned things around with all your TLC. Many more good days to you!
Although Darbie seems to be ok outwardly, she has become quite the handful trying to administer her daily subQ fluids. I can't blame her as she's getting intolerant of this harpoon needle getting jabbed under a fold of skin everyday. It must hurt terribly and I'm very much at my wits end. I haven't been able to administer fluids for a couple of days. It's 4:30 a.m. now so I gave her a tramadol in hopes she'll relax ( I sure could use a few...) I'll try in an hour or so. I'm going to the vet today to see if I can switch to a smaller gauge needle. It may take longer to administer, but once the needle's in, we're good. If Darbie still puts up a fight, I'll have to make an arrangement with the vet to get her in daily...This is so difficult for me as I don't want to be the "bad guy' , raising my voice and have her fearful of me. Even the treats and toys are getting old as that's becoming "pain by association". She is very forgiving, thank goodness.
I know this is hard and I empathise so much. It's a good idea to see if a smaller needle will help. When you get stressed and tired it can seem like nothing is working ... but trust me, you have done amazing things and everything you do is helping Darbie so much. She may not understand what you are doing is helping her, but you know it is, and that's what matters.
whoops...there goes my tablet again. So back to what I was saying....it seems in the beginning they tolerate well then they start to hate it. Poor Sammie doesn't have much left to put the needle in. Hoping it isn't too expensive to have the vet do it daily!! Although I'd pay anything to make it easier for her....but then again going to the vet daily would be stressful too!!! Wish we coulld be there to help you and Darbie!
Darbie knows you are trying to help her...and you are doing wonderfully!!
I was so hesitant mentioning that in my post as I would never want to make you apprehensive re: sub Q fluids. With Darbie, I noticed a sudden rejuvenation of physical and emotional well being . Tony said it perfectly, stress and fatigue sneak in, for both Darbie & I ( there were 2 of us "helping" Darbie those days, I think that aggravated her....and Me, too !!!)....Yesterday morning, the tramadol worked well and I did my best "alpha male" impression to take command of the situation. Afterwards, Darbie and I were best friends again:) I realize Darbie and I do best one on one, together:)
I did check with the vets office and the wise receptionist said " Change the needle after EACH use as they dull easily. " I plan on changing the needle everyday:)
My guess is Sammie , the tiny angel that she is, may only need a "butterfly needle", minimal of fluids a few times a week. I actually bought the fluids bag ( $20 with tubing and needle), and asked the vet/ vet technicians to assist me those first weeks. I was not charged for those visits, but please check with your vet if this is the case.
Charlene, when I administer Darbie's fluids, I talk to her about you, Sammie, Bonnie, Tony, etc...So always know, you are always here helping Darbie & Lynne:)
Darbie & Lynne:)!
Please don't feel apprehension re: sub Q...Everything will be OK:)
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. Oftentimes, I imagine if the house was afire, I would never hesitate to save Darbie...I have to look at this disease in such a way that there can be nothing to fear at this point.
So, on days when Darbie and I are conflicted, we'll sit back and reinvent the day. As you realize, she may not understand, but enjoying each day given is all that matters:)
You are very welcome Lynne. Yes, change the needle each day. I was shouted at by my own Doctor for not changing my insulin needles as often as I should (pure laziness on my part), but since I have been changing them every day, it's made a huge difference - and there's now really hardly any jab-pain at all. So, I can say from a personal perspective, it's worth starting the day with a brand new sharp needle.
You are doing wonders with Darbie - and Darbie would thank you from the bottom of her heart, if she could.
Sweet Darbie does thank me every day:) She has graced me from the bottom of her heart and she makes me smile! She is so "human" in her emotions, good times and sad...I thank God we are together.
The needle ( 16 gauge ) was 'ok' per Dr.Vet. to change after each bag. For Darbie, that would be 3-4 sessions per bag. Wise receptionist advised new needle per session as "they dull fast". So, new day, new needle:)
Darbie and I will always think of you everyday, Tony...
Although we are "across the pond"...I will remind Darbie she is not alone:)
I read many posts from owners prior to coming on board. I recall Sammie's story, and I too am AMAZED how Sammie has thrived! With the advise and kindness from Tony as well as the support "give and take" from the community....Love conquers all:). Your presence and support has been so greatly appreciated.
LOL, hold on to your tablet!! At this point you can write gibberish, but I'll know you're there:)
I can't help but recall a story from one of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books. Although the story ( as roughly as I can remember ) depicts a man who was diagnosed with 6 weeks to live, he wrote "heartfelt" letters to family and friends saying his goodbyes. They wrote back and he answered their letters, and so on....The man continued to correspond letters as his list grew larger...He lived for many years:) I share this as I believe, like you do, that all things are possible!
Darbie & I send special hugs out to You, Hubby, Sammie & Bonnie. You have so much to be proud!
Great story Lynne ... one of my own favourite quotes is "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives." I like this partly because, yes, death is a certainty eventually for us all, humans and pets alike, but our dogs live each day like it's their last for the entirety of their lives - which means we have so much to learn from them. Our dogs are wonderous, empathic, loyal and loving. I often awaken in the morning, look at my muts and say ... 'So, what are you gonna teach me today, old friends.' :)
Bless Sammie's little heart:) She's got the fighting spirit...
LOL,I told a friend that I keep Darbie so entertained and distracted, she doesn't even know she's sick... Though Darbie has mastered the "Mom, you've lost your mind..." and " Please, don't embarrass me in public" faces:)
I hope Sammie ( and YOU, too) are catching up on much needed rest.
Always sending thoughts and prayers your way,
Lynne & Darbie
Sorry for not posting sooner. Last couple of weeks have been crazy. Had some scary nights with Sammie but as you've said she's got the fighting spirit!! Last few days she's been good again. I stopped giving her the green beans and the sweet potatoes. Now down to chicken, ground pork and tapioca. I've also started the Yo'Baby you suggested. So far so good.
Hope you and Darbie are doing well....think of you every day and you are in my morning prayers!!
So great to hear all is good with Sammie... I wish she could rest thru the night peacefully. I can imagine these scary nights take a toll on you...Just always know we're thinking of you.
Darbie has been doing really well! I, too, stopped the green beans. She's pretty much down to a small portion of KD kibble and KD wet ( soaked in unsalted chicken broth and water for added hydration ), 1/4 c diced chicken thigh or chuck steak, a dollop of YoBaby with chopped cucumber or watermelon. The dish looks very pretty when I'm done:). She gets the same meal am/pm with one tums afterward. (I even manage to throw her pills in her dish without hiding them! ) She gets so excited while I'm making her meals and it does my heart good. I do believe the yogurt has helped her digestion. Everything is agreeing with her and I do hope Sammie finds a nice balance.
Continue to enjoy these beautiful summer days with your family!
It nice to read your posts to and from Charlene ... and really good to hear things are going well with Darbie ... and with Sammie, despite some down days. Yogurt is a good thing for kidney disease as it helps along the digestive tract and gets both water and essential minerals and vitamins in dogs too. It's also great that most dogs love yogurt, so it's always good to see them enjoying what they are getting. Just one slight word of caution (just in case anyone else is reading this), only use unflavored natural yogurt and not flavored varieties. The reason for this is two-fold ... 1. flavored yogurts tend to have some crushed pips from the fruit used, which often contains small amounts of cyanide and when a dog's health is already compromised, it's auto-immune system may not cope with the miniscule amount of toxic cyanide from the pips; and 2. flavored yogurt tends to have artificial sweetener in the ingredients, the worst and most dangerous of which are Xylitol or Stevia (the latter is actually a naturally occurring sweetener taken from the Stevia rebaudiana plant). Much safer are sucralose, aspartame and saccharin - BUT even these should be avoided, because they are likely to cause either an allergic reaction or gastric upset, neither of which are helpful to a dog in kidney failure.
Thhanks for the feedback...one question on the yogurt. I bought Stonyfield Organic fpr babies and toddlers (Yo'Baby). However, I could only find vanilla. I can't find that it has any artificial sweetners. Is the vanilla okay? Have not found plain.
Hope you and your babies are well. You are always helping us...want you to know how thankful we are for you!!
Charlene, Sammie and Bonnie
P.S.: how do I post pictures...nothing I do works!!
Hi Charlene. Yes, vanilla flavored yogurt is perfectly safe for dogs. To upload photos go to your Profile then click on See All on the Photos tab. Once the photos page opens up, you will see Upload Photos on the right hand side. Click on Choose File, then select the photo on your PC that you want to upload.
All that said, I think MedHelp has a few technical glitches running at the moment, because my photos aren't displaying as they should, so maybe give it a couple of days before you try the above.
Thanks Lynne!! I was looking at Darbie's pictures last night and just wanted to kiss her nose and cuddle with her....she looks like such a cuddler!! She looks wonderful and happy!!!! It shows how much love and care she's getting.
Really bad day today for Sammie!! I swear she had a mini-stroke. When I got up this morning, I couldn't find her. She was lying down behind the toilet... never did that before. When I picked her up, she was all wet...must have pee'd herself. When I put her down, she couldn't stand on her own. Back leg dragging, front leg (paw) folded under. OH MY!!! I was a mess. She was really out of it, but I cleaned her up and put her in her dog bed. Took her out every 2 hours and she pee'd but wouldn't walk. We debated back and forth about going to the vet but decided to wait a little while. About 2:00 thhis afternoon, she started walking again. Through all of this she would still eat!! So we've canceled our weekend plans and decided to just see if she improves more. No way I'm leaving her alone for even 5 minutes!! This is so hard!
It does sound like a seizure/TIA of some kind...Sammie has the greatest spirit. She loves you so much, that I can tell...
I am so much like you in my thinking as I would never leave Darbie's side under her duress. I can not impress upon people enough that I would be horrible company in these events as I,too, would be a basket case- mess. I hope and pray Sammie's situation has stabilized as we speak so you can find some comfort going into the evening.
Lots of TLC and comfort to all of you...Please, stay in touch.
Hello Charlene. Yes, it sounds very much like a seizure. I am so sorry. It's good Sammie is still eating - and that shows she's got a desire for life. I'm hoping she rallies and get's back to 'the good days'. I've been reading your posts and Lynne's replies, but haven't wanted to interject on the discussions unless I thought something was relevant. I think you have done and are continuing to do a wonderful job in caring for Sammie. Thinking about you. Tony x
Thanks Tony and Lynne,
Sammie is doing beter today. She's actually following me around the house which is her normal behavior. Yesterday she didn't even get out of her bed unless we picked her up!! I swear these dogs are going to kill us first!!!
there goes my tablet again....posting before I hit post!!
Anyways, she is eating well and walking. The rear leg dragged a little today but seems to be getting stronger. I'm so amazed at her will to live (and eat). After her episode yesterday she at first wouldn't eat and that broke my heart!! Was so glad when she finally did.
Lynne and Tony....thank you so much for being here for me. When I found her yesterday morning, all I wanted to do (besides take care of Sammie), was to get in tiuch with both of you!! You've become my Sammie lifeline...THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! In such a short time and without even knwing you, you've both become my source of strength.
I hope your babies are all doing well. Give tham kisses and hugs from me, Sammie and Bonnie!
Tony....always interject!! I don't know how to send posts to both of you together...I was hoping you would read my post to Lynne and let me know what you thought!!
I hope this was an isolated event and Sammie continues to be your sweet little girl:) ...I bet she'll be feeling better everyday.
It must have been so frightening...I held out great hope hearing she could walk and eat again. Many years ago, my American Eskimo had a very similar "seizure ". Just that one time. She, too, slept the day away. It must take a lot out of them, but once their batteries are recharged...You're right, Sammie is a Wonder Dog! :)
Tony, I so agree with Charlene...I love to know you're here and connected with us. I know you support so many others as I read thru the other pet forums and you're always there posting great advice and compassion...Sure, we would love it if there were 10 of you!:)
Hi Lynne. Ha. You know what ... sometimes I wish there were 10 of me too, not that my partner would cope (he only just copes with one of me), but at least all my daily jobs and chores would get sorted much easier. I come online every day, and always read all the posts from you and Charlene, so while I may sometimes not be obviously 'amongst you', I am there. Sometimes I have to prioritise the time I can spend, other times there are one or two dogs and their owners that are in crisis, and then there's the ongoing stuff I try to do, like reading up on some current canine kidney failure paper just published. Then other times, there seems plenty of time to chit-chat - and these are the best days, because it means things are calm and serene.
Well, Tony...For the short time you have been there for us, I couldn't have imagined any less from you! Thanks for your outstanding integrity. We always know you are here and listening:)
Darbie has a blood work analysis soon...You can bet I'll be selfish and demand your attention....I hope everyone on these forums appreciate your wisdom and kindness as we have these past months. You have truly make a difference in our lives.
I don't know how you have the time to take care of all of us but I know I appreciate any time you have. Our babies are #1....our significant others #2 (haha...I'm glad my husband understands that!!!). Trying to work, etc. etc. it's amazing we have time to sleep!
I'm am so grateful and appreciative for this forum. I could never thank everyone enough .... I know you are the reason Sammie is still with me.
By the way....she s still doing okay. She seems to be in a little more of a fog so I'm convinced it was a seizure. All in all though, she's hanging in.
Hi Charlene. Yeah, the foggy period can last a few minutes or several days, depending on the seizure. I imagine (for dogs) it's a bit like being drunk ... and with a bit of a hangover. Not pleasant. But I'm pleased she pulled through and is getting back to being more herself again.
Charlene, I am so joyous in my heart that Sammie is coming around again....Like Tony said, but I magine her shaking off a few cobwebs and getting stronger everyday....This I pray:)
Let's stay strong for our babies:)...As Darbie sits by my side during the day, I watch her sleeping at night. I want to hold on to these lovely moments when I can regard her and know everything we do is for love. In those moments I say a prayer to God and thank Him for gifting me with such a beautiful soul...When I needed her most:).
I have to watch myself re: Darbie's #'s. Something is working now. I know she has been so happy and content this past month. I do owe this happiness to Tony, as Darbie would have fallen thru the cracks and slipped away....
My utmost thoughts and prayers for You, Sammie, Bonnie & Hubby:)
All wonderful dogs in my life were under 30 lbs...It was fate that brought me to the Humane Society to drop off Paco's gifts ( Paco was a female,14 yr old Schipperke....Her ashes were still in the car with me). I was also there to offer my services to walk/play with dogs...Then I saw Darbie in the last cage. She quietly placed her head in my hand and I burst in tears. Within 24 hrs, I claimed her as mine...My partner knows me well ( we both said NO MORE DOGS until we "grieve"...)
When that connection happened...She has been the greatest love for 8 years. For his reason, I stare at her in the quiet of night and know how wonderful life is....Great or small.
Well....another bad night with Sammie. When I got home from work, my husband said she went downhill a couple of hours before. Because this was the second episode, we decided to take her to the vet. Wonderful ER vet... really liked her!!
The good news....Sammie's lungs were clear (she was having labored breathing). Heart looked good.
The downside...she has a white blood cell count of 36.51 and she is slightly anemic. Seems there is an infection somewhere...possibly UTI or Kidney. The vet put her on an antibiotic, Clavamox (62.5 mg) twice a day for 14 days. In 2 weeks more bloodwork and urinalysis.
BUN - 116 (up from July)
CREA - 2.9 (down from July)
Hi Charlene. Oh poor Sammie. Okay, infections are not uncommon in kidney failure dogs, so this isn't something that isn't expected. Most important for you is to concentrate first on the infection. Getting that under control is the priority. The antibiotics will do their job over the period (probably a week or two), and you can help by maintaining fluids. You might want to try some cranberry juice, just in case the infection is indeed urinary tract. Pure cranberry juice is best, if you can get it (but if not, make sure it has no artificial sweetener in it such as Xytol), and you can add it to Sammie's water if he is a regular drinker. A small amount each day for a few days will help.
It's quite extreme for a seizure to have occurred due to an infection, though obviously there may be a combined effect of the kidney issues plus infection that might have triggered it (maybe due to anxiety or stress). The other possibility (only a possibility) is a tumor of some kind, more likely in the brain. This is something to consider if the seizures start to happen more regularly, even after the infection has been brought under control I know this isn't the kind of news you would want to hear, but it's probably better for you to have the possible facts of what is happening.
The bloodwork is likely to be slightly out of synch while Sammie has the infection - and for the period of being on antibiotics. So the next bloodwork will be more useful.
Hopefully Sammie will rally and get back to his good days really soon ... do keep me informed Charlene. My thoughts are with you and Sammie.
Oh my goodness ... Charlene. I am lost for words. That is shocking and very upsetting news. I am so very sorry. I wish I was there, just to give you a comforting cuddle. I know only too well how dreadful you must be feeling - but, and this is so important, you must remember everything you have done for Sammie. You have been amazing. She was a very lucky dog to have had you in her life. I know none of this means anything right now, but please, think about the good times you have shared. It hurts like hell to lose a best friend that means so much, and routines are going to take time to realign. This is YOU time - time to take a rest, relax and be amongst friends and people that understand. Sammie is no longer in the fight, no longer hurting, and if she could she would say a huge thank you for all the extraordinary care and love you gave to her.
No. Not Sammie too. I'm so sorry. Hate this disease. Been following you all since I lost my Teagan in May. So many smiles when reading about the wonderful rallies. Sammie fought the good fight and was so lucky to have you, Charlene, doing all that was humanly possible to help her. While there is nothing that will ease the pain of your loss now, I am a believer that Sammie is running free of pain and will be happily waiting at the Rainbow Bridge. So, so sorry.
As everyone on this forum knows, THIS *****!!! No better way to say it! I feel like my heart has been ripped out but I am thankful for several things today....having had the pleasure to be Sammie's Mom, the fact that I have to travel for work on Mon & Tues next week and that it didn't happen then, that she was in my arms when she died, and that my husband was here when she went downhill this morning!!!
Last night in the ER, her lungs were totally clear and nothing around her heart. She had a 102.9 temperature and the elevated white count. This morning, her lung were filled with fluid and there was fluid around her heart. Would this have anything to do with the sub'q given to her last night? The vet said no but wonder if you have a different opinion.
She actually arrested within a couple minutes of getting her to the vet. They got her heart going again but she was really bad. So....she would have died at home if we didn't bring her in. We finally made the choice to let her stop suffering.
But....we're really wondering about the fluid in her lungs and around the heart....could it have been the sub-q?
Oh Charlene....I am dying inside. I really am so heartbroken for you. I am feeling numb. I loved Sammie in our lives. Yours is a great love story.
No suffering as Sammie is with the angels on high until you meet again. We do what we do for love. Remember this always and never look back. Sammie loved you and will love you til the end of time...Please don't haunt yourself with bad feelings. I am not sure of a lot of things in life and this I KNOW truly... YOU ARE THE BEST & MOST LOVING MOM!!. I KNOW you will find comfort in Bonnie tonight and her forever. I am going to cuddle with Darbie and watch her sleep,breath, snore, grunt and chase rabbits thru the night....And I will thank God.
I thank God that Sammie ( & Bonnie ) came into your life and really knew love...
Charlene, please know I hold you all in my prayers tonight. May God give you peace and comfort these following days. Please stay close...
I am in tears...I am holding Darbie close tonight...You & Sammie, too.
Hello Charlene. No, the SubQs would not have caused it. The infection would have caused fluid to build in the lungs. Simple as that. Sammie probably arrested due to severe body shock. In simply, terms, her heart couldn't cope with what was happening to her body anymore. It is so sad, and after all that fighting, she probably just didn't have the energy to fight anymore. You did so much to help and comfort her - and truthfully, in the end, that's all we can do - help as much as we are able.
I hope, in time, you are able to remember all those happy times you shared - and smile about them, because that's what life is about, happy carefree days full of adventure and love and kindness. These are the things that create the bond between our best friends and us, and when the bond is torn apart, it hurts like hell.
As you both have been through, today was a tough day! Now I'm second guessing myself that if I brought Sammie to the vet on Saturday, maybe the infection wouldn't have spread so bad. I HATE THIS!!!! I know she was already weak ...but, what if???
One of my good friends sent me flowers at work from Sammie....the card read "thank you for being such a good Mom". What a great gift but boy did I break down.
Thank you both for being here for Bonnie and me. As you can imagine, Bonnie getting really spoiled!!
Charlene, stop second-guessing about what if .... you don't need me to say it, but I'm going to anyway ... you were the best mom any dog could have and did everything you possibly could to help Sammie.
It is great that you have an understanding work colleague. That was a really nice thing they did. I think both you and Bonnie deserve a bit of spoiling. Every day through the grieving process is a tough day ... but it gets easier, slowly but surely.
Especially in these first days of intense grief we oftentimes haunt ourselves with the "what if's" and start training our minds to create different scenarios with happier outcomes. This truly does make the grieving process so much more tormenting. Please be kind to yourself. Live in the great loving memories and joy that Sammie gifted you. You and Bonnie have many wonderful years ahead and I can't wait to hear every detail:)
You have a lovely friend...She knows how special you are to your babies!
Now I have a story which is way off topic, but I think you'll understand.
We live near beautiful Saratoga Springs which is home to historical Thorough Bred horse racing. Our big race is THE TRAVERS. This year there were 10 horses on the card, so we're good to place a fun bet. My partner was so fixated on horse #4 and played an exacta bet. Then she suggested placing $5 on #4 to win and I said " Go Ahead...have fun!" When she placed her bets at OTB, she opted not to play the $5 bet. OF COURSE #4 WINS THE RACE!! Well, she did win the exacta ( $175 ), but she was beating her head against the wall because if she placed the $5 bet on #4 to win, she would have won an additional $275....Now, I really had to impress upon her that if she did go back and place that $5 bet, all destiny and fate would have been changed and horse #4 would have been sowing oats in last place...Ergo, she would have lost her exacta bet, too. She seemed satisfied with this analogy and enjoyed her $175 victory.
How this relates to your grief...I don't know as my mind flies off in many tangents. But, you did everything you could for Sammie as you loved her so much. Living in the what if's is greatly draining to the spirit. Always peace and comfort to you...
You and Tony should be writer's (or maybe you are!!)
Thank you for your words. You'll never know how much they mean to me. I even understood your story!!! You, your partner and Darbie are only 2 hours away from me so now I know you're really close to my heart!!!
We picked up Sammie's ashes tonight.....I always feel better once I bring them home but now my eyes are swollen again!! It's quite the look!!
Keeping you and Darbie in my forever prayers and I'll stay here for support for you.
You have the sweetest soul...Oftentimes, I look at Darbie ( and all pets) and say ( well, sing... ) " THIS IS A DOG'S LIFE!!" ...Knowing full well she's spoiled and loved from the deepest space of my being...Sammie had a wonderful and blessed dog's life...
As I look over my shoulder, there is a glass cabinet displaying wooden memory (picture) boxes. Four amazing babies over the past 20 yrs. The loss of each left a huge, empty agonizing void inside me, but once I held their ashes I felt great peace...My baby girls were in my arms again to stay until the end of time. I am comforted with the nearness of them:)
You will cry for Sammie, of course you will....I still do. I know someday your agony will lighten and when you cry you will smile at her memory. I know I would bury myself in Bonnie's affection:)
I will always look forward to your support and kindness...You are in my prayers:)
Hello again Charlene ... another day ... and each new day brings new challenges, a new sense of progression and (hopefully) a slightly easier heart. We never forget our best friends. They are with us in our hearts and heads every day for the rest of our lives.
Picking up the ashes is a momentous event. It's hard to see the ashes, because it means it's real, not a dream. And then there's a decision to be made about what we do with the ashes. Keep them, scatter them, either way, it's not easy. But just remember, the ashes are only Sammie's body, her heart and soul are with you and will always be with you.
I have a shelf of pet ashes and I've told everyone that when my time comes, I'm to get spinkled with the ashes of all my babies!! So at least I know Sammie's remains will be with me.
I don't cry as much each day but going to bed is horrible!! I miss having her sweet face on my pillow with me and listening to her dreaming! She was quite the vocal dreamer!! I cry myself to sleep and cry when I wake up. I know it will get easier....but you're right, I'll never forget her.
Thank you Lynne. I've been trying to spoil Bonnie...but today she's a little mopey so I think it finally hit her. I have to go to Chicago tomorrow for 2 days for work and I hate leaving her. Thankfully Daddy will be here but I don't want her to think everyone is going away!!
My husband is terrific and will spoil her completely.
It's so lonely her without Sammie. We're all feeling it.
Hugs, wags and kisses to Darbie from all of us....and hugs to you too! When does Darbie have her next bloodwork>
I'm thinking you are in Chicago now as I type. I wish I responded faster these past days ... ( dealing with proposals for land development).
I don't want you to feel alone. Please know your bond with Sammie by your pillow reached the deepest heart of me. My heart ached...Truly crushed when you spoke of the ashes of your babies.
I wish to be cremated. As a Norwegian, I always felt all pet boxes, including my own, would be cast out to the ocean ( well, Herring Cove, Cape Cod) on a viking long boat...set afire! This is a traditional Viking funeral. Of course, my brother feels otherwise:)..
.If anyone is listening, make sure your Last Will and Testament ( final wishes) is updated!
God bless you Charlene., I hope I can make you smile...
Always here whether your 300 miles away or 2000! ( I'm bad at math, but you get it..)
I am feeling you separation anxiety in the strongest way....But, I know Daddy will give Bonnie love x2.
Bonnie is suffering loss. Our pets are so intuitive to every sound in the house, every smell, and most of all, our laughter and pain. I know when I cry, Darbie comforts me. She is the most compassionate being I have known.
I know when you come home, Bonnie will burst at the seams!
Thank you for understanding my feelings. I'm SOOOO happy to be home. Bonnie did burst at the seams and is curled up next to me. I couldn't imagne any place I'd rather be....only wish Sammie was curled on my lap.
You are so right about last will and testament. I am always preaching to people. I even have a clause for who my babies are to live with along with money for them to be spoiled. The will states the money is to be distributed before anyone else gets their share.......dogs first!!
Bonnie sends tail wags and I send hugs. Lots of smooches for Darbie!!
Thank you Tony for taking the time to think about me and to check in. Today is a week ago we lost Sammie. It's been the longest week!! I'm not crying as much the last couple days but it's amazing how all of a sudden I break down. After dinner tonight I automatically went to Sammie's dog bed to see if she wanted to go out. It took my breath away when I realized what I did.
I think I have fried my brain with grief. I find myself doing weird things. Tonight I ran the microwave for 5 minutes and never put anything in there. I'm scaring myself with some stupid mistakes I've made. I did finally sleep last night and I'm hoping I sleep tonight. It may be the fact that I haven't sleep well.
Hope all is well with you. If you ever need anything, please ask. There will be many of us here for you!!
Hi Charlene. All the strange things we do are absolutely natural during the grieving process. I did write a piece about this, but it may be too early for you to read it. Maybe best to print it out then read it in a few weeks time. http://www.infobarrel.com/When_a_Pet_Dog_Dies
I was doing the same when I lost BB. I would start making her breakfast, then realise she's not there; or take two tennis balls to the beach, then realise there's only one dog I'm taking there; or reach down from the sofa to stroke her, then remember. The worst part was waking up in the morning and remembering. That was definitely the hardest start of the early days.
Bearing in mind our dogs form the biggest part of our daily routines, it's perhaps no wonder we find ourselves automatically doing things that were a big part of our day. It's hard, but it does slowly get easier. We don't ever forget - but we do adapt.
Give Bonnie a huge hug from me. Take care of yourself ... and spoil yourself with something nice, because you deserve it.
I was away ...Please know I hold your hand and walk beside you:)
I truly understand the "mind" set/routine of daily living superseding days after a beloved baby died. Very emotionally painful. Please know .... don't question yourself when your beautiful mind has fought for Sammie and continues to do so after the fact. I remember the intense "empty house" syndrome . Your words truly resounded within me as I will never forget the heartache. When Darbie was so sick, I was devastated in grieve...Poor Darbie hadn't died yet, but I could actually feel my soul shattering into 1,000 pieces.
It is amazing how many people avoid the issue of final wishes. I , too, have made provisions for Darbie in the event of some catastrophic event. There are so many images of devoted pets mourning upon the death of there owners.No one on this planet Earth can tell me that animals( great or small) don't have a soul. They have a greater chance to enter Heaven's Gates....:)
Charlene, my love to you during these difficult days...When you hold Bonnie ( who is grieving...), please hold her 2x longer:)
Your memory made me cry...No matter how many years go by, our love and devotion to beloved pets who have graced our lives is immeasurable. Their brief lives and capability of love shared with us is beyond any love known .
My partner and I contemplated a scenario if the house was afire and Darbie was inside. No power on this earth could hold either of us back to reach her and bring her to safety.
Charlene, I say this to you, as you did this in the course of Sammie's disease. I know you are wonderful and blessed for your great love.
Your words go right to my soul and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is amazing how I turn to you and Tony for comfort......I have friends who like animals but none seem to understand how much I love mine!! While I am going about my daily business, my grief is still so fresh.
You made me smile when you mentioned how a there wasn't anyone who could keep you from entering a burning house to save Darbie. I have so many contingency plans people think I'm nuts!! When we had cats, I kept extra pillow cases in each room in case of a fire so I could put them in the pillowcases to rescue them. I even have the stickers on the door so firemen know there is a dog inside!!
We are so lucky and blessed that our partners feel the same way. I've been married for 32 years and couldn't love my husband any more then when I watch him with our pets...in good times and bad.
Hope you are having a good weekend with Darbie. Give her hugs from Bonnie and me.
Please know I think of you each day! These feelings are so unique because they are between You and Sammie. I feel so badly that you are in situations where you need to grieve and you are forced to bottle up your feelings and compartmentalize them. Be kind to yourself:)
Oh my, partner & I ( together 23 yrs and forever laughing ) always have an emergency plan where we would soak wet towels and cover Darbie first. She's rarely alone. Both of us would suffer major burns and bad hair days as long as Darbie is alive and fills our hearts with joy:)
Oh Lynne....thank you so much. My husband thinks we must have been friends in the past! When I'm on my computer, he always asks "are you talking with Lynne!!" Funny how you check on me and some of my friends don't even call. They don't understand the grief.
Tomorrow is 2 weeks already that Sammie's been gone. I cried all the way home from work today. It seems like an eternity yet I can't believe it's already 2 weeks. I still can't move any of her things.
Bonnie is benefitting from more walks, hugs and kisses!! I'll certainly give her your belly rub....one of her favorite things.
Check out Tony's recent post.....having some concerns about Sally......so time for us to be here for him.
Big big hugs to Darbie.......I know my Sammie is watching over her!! Think of her (and you) every day. You'll have to tell me your partner's name because I don't want to leave her out of my prayers,,,,,but hate to keep referring to her as"the partner"!!
My windows start page/display features a collage of Darbie photos from over the years...Your "Sammie" as Darbie's guardian angel touched my heart so much:)....I'm working on pasting Sammie's picture "watching over" Darbie:)
Be kind and patient to your self within this grief. I know Bonnie will continue to heal your broken heart.
Oh Lynne.......that touches my heart so much!! As expected some days are better than others. The weekends are so hard because I'm home more. Today we took Bonnie to the outlet mall in the Berkshires and she loved seeing all the people/dogs. It really made me miss Sammie though....she used to love to go to the outlets.
I think we're exhausting Bonnie trying to keep her busy!!!
Read your post to Tony on how Darbie is doing. I love that she gets a new toy after every sub-q!!! How funny that she knows she's getting one. I know my Sammie is watching over her......she was always so loving!!
Charlene, that made me giggle. My dogs did the camping in the woods and hiking trails. Sweet Sammie loved to go to the outlets:)...I pictured her in a pink designer sweater with bling! We always pass by the Berkshire Outlets going back and forth from the Cape. It's been years and I bet it's expanded!
Maybe there's a dog store there to stock up on squeaky toys! BIG LOTS has been good to us:)
How are you doing, Charlene? Please know Darbie sends hugs and kisses back!
No bling for Sammie......she thought she was a Rottweiler!!! But she did have winter coats and a rain coat!!
I didn't see any dog stores at the outlets.....I'll have to research that. There is one in another outlet we go to in Connecticut.....they even have dog walks at 10:00 on Sunday mornings...pretty cool!!
Today is a tough day.....been three weeks today and I had to throw away the flowers my friend sent me (they were really wilted!!). My friend's dog had to have ACL surgery today so it helped to focus on her instead of feeling sorry for me for one day!!
Hi Charlene. Three weeks is no time at all. Just let it out, when it needs to be let out. There were times a year after BB passed that I could be almost anywhere, including while doing some retail therapy when you'd think I would be distracted enough, and next minute the tears would be rolling down my face. It kinda just happens, even now from time to time.
I'm busy doing strange things today. I have a huge megabag of horticultural chippings arriving, which I then need to wheelbarrow to a hosta bed in the back garden. This all came from a tv program I saw about snails and how they don't like to slither over horticultural chippings - and every year the snails devour my hostas almost completely, so I'm just hoping this deters them next year. I don't know what time the delivery is, so Giro is sat half way up the stairs in the hallway checking for me ... Sally, on the other hand, is leaving Giro to his duties and is catching up on her beauty sleep. Ha.
Hope you have a nice day. Giro and Sally send hugs.
I will never believe their is a time constraint on love & loss. Whether recent or many years apart, love never dies. I say this as witness to people who weep at the memory of loved ones who died many years ago.
You loved Sammie as "baby pup ", you lost Sammie after 14 years. Your grief is real and it pains your heart.
Please know I balance you:)
Re: Rotweiller - I have to share that my (female) American Eskimo, Tiffany, went to a groomer. She came out with a bow on top of her head. I always laughed. She scowled at me. I always left the bow in her hair until my parents could see. They laughed. She ran straight to backyard and rolled in cat ****....No kidding:)
I think of you often! Darbie is doing very well! Sept and Oct always seem hectic...It's like knowing winter is coming and things must get done before the snow flies! Of course, my brother reads the Farmer's Almanac and says this winter is going to be brutal..Just great:(. Good old Walmart has Christmas decorations out already! We still haven't seen a fall leaf drop from the trees!
How are you doing, Charlene? How's sweet Bonnie? I hope she's basking in all your TLC!
Thank You and Bonnie for your prayers hugs & kisses!
We are heading to Rangeley Maine and I know Darbie is going to have the time of her life! She is so fascinated with birds, hawks and Canadian geese. She stares fixated and wags her tail. Her head will follow a bird in flight from one end of the sky to the other! Now she can lay on the dock and stare at mallard ducks and loons! Quite a change from her ocean adventures:)
Back from Rangeley ME...Fantastic time! Very proud of Darbie as she tolerated 7 hr road trip each way. We sat in the back seat and her head stayed on my lap. Made a few stop to make sure she drank fluids and peed (me, too! Not used to traveling without the RV:))
Darbie love the clean air infused with pine! The loons were abundant calling around the lake. Of course, there were ducks and geese that kept her fascinated! She fell right into a routine at the lake with food/IV fluids and adjusted well coming home, though she was happily exhausted!
Sammie Angel stayed with her....My pic is for you:)
So happy to hear Darbie enjoyed the trip and did so well. The pic of Sammie is awesome.....she truly is (and was) an angel. Glad you enjoyed Maine....I love anything outdoors and especially in the fall.
I have news that I can't believe myself........we adopted a new dog. There was no way I was going to before Spring but during our vacation we missed Sammie so much we decided not to wait. So on Tuesday night we brought home an approx. 2 year old, 15 lb. dog who came from a Tennessee kill shelter (kill and shelter never seem like two words that belong together!!). I'm trying to upload a picture but having computer issues.
We still miss Sammie horribly and I still cry every day over her, but my heart is big enough to love another!!
Thanks Lynne...it is so exciting but I am missing Sammie so much!! She was such a big part of my heart!! I still can't move some of her things or take down all the cards we received. My husband thought we would use Sammie's harness and leash for Natasha.....boy did I squash that immediately....THOSE WERE SAMMIE'S. I'm lucky that he's so easygoing.
Bonnie and Natasha are doing well .... Natasha has a slight problem with dog aggression but they've come a long way since Tuesday. They actually play a little each day.
Having my usual problems uploading pictures....where are you loading them....maybe I'm in the wrong place.
Cold weather is coming tomorrow so snuggle extra with Darbie! I'm sure she's exhausted from her vacation.
Hello Charlene. That's great news about Natasha. What a lovely thing to do - and what a lucky dog to be rescued by you both. Sammie would be so proud of you, I'm sure. Keep us informed how things go. All my dogs through the years have been rescues, and they all come with their own baggage, but almost all settle after a while and just become ... well, part of the family. Tony x
Doll and I were reminiscing about our beloved Schipperke the other day...The tears come easily, but that's the nature of love:). Within 10 days of agonizing over the loss of Paco, I went to the Humane Society and there was Darbie:) It was odd as we were all thrown together in a confusing way. She was already 3 years old and we had no clue of what made her tick and she just stared at us. The bonding process was a journey, but the rest is history!
Bonnie seems like she will be the best "sister" to Natasha! I always loved the idea of having two pups too keep each other company. Best wishes each and everyday!
Hi Charlene. Go to your profile page (roll mouse cursor over the My MedHelp tab at top of page, then click on Profile). Directly under the Photos box you should see blue text that says Upload A Photo. Click on it. Next click on Choose A File, which will open a new pop-up browser window - find the photo you want to upload and click on it. Next click on Upload Photo (the green button). It can take a while for photos to upload, depending on the size of the photo, so go make a cuppa while you are waiting. Once finished, your photo should be in your photos section.
I am so happy for all of you ...What a wonderful chapter in your lives!
"One door closes, another door opens..." is an understatement. Sammie's door never closed. For you to move forward and open your hearts to Natasha is a true testimony of your unconditional love for Sammie:) I can't say who I'm happier for!! Bonnie needed Natasha as much if not more than anyone! To know they've bonded so beautifully must give you great joy:)
Hi Lynne. Yes, they are adorable. Giro's the old man now, having just passed his 10th birthday, while Sally is only 5. She still has her "issues" as a rescued greyhound, but she's settled in really well over the last couple of years. Although she's the dominant one of the two, she still occasionally looks to Giro to take the lead, particularly when out and about and running on the beach. The weather here is atrocious at the moment with gale force wind and rain, so they've missed their usual visit to the beach. Just hoping it improves a little tomorrow. Give Darbie a hug from me - and have a cyber hug yourself too. Tony x
So the problem is my tablet. I e-mailed pictures to my work computer and was able to post. So...you have the first two pictures of Natasha on her first night home. More to follow.
Thank you for your continued support.....I think the support on this forum is what helped me make the decision to adopt again and love another rescue. I was so distraught over Sammie (and some days still am) but I am moving onward thanks to you all!!
Hugs and tail wags to Darbie, Giro and Sally.....going to check out Giro and Sally's new pictures now.
NATASHA IS PRECIOUS! Do you have any idea what mix breed she is? She looks close to Bonnie' s size so that must be an eye opener for Bonnie:) I hope they're getting along like peas and carrots still:)
Tony, I have to remember you're in the UK as we just suffered a windy, rainy Nor'easter that lasted several days here, too! Very difficult to explain to the pups that they can't play outside:(. So Darbie was pulled outside between bouts of torrential rain, only to find ourselves caught in a downpour 100ft from the house! Thank goodness she is receptive to her hooded rain coat! As I look outside, it looks like our first blue sky in days! Hope you've made up lost time at the beach with Giro and Sally!
No clue what Natasha's breed is......I say she'a all goofball. Bonnie is 63 lbs.....Natasha is officially 14.1 lbs. Great visit with the vet....Natasha is in good health. I had bloodwork done on both girls so I'd have a baseline......learned my lesson from Sammie. Vet called and said both their reports were great...YEAH! I'll get some additional pictures soon of Bonnie and Natasha together.
Natasha did chew the wire to my husband's computer today....have never had a dog do that. Glad it wasn't plugged in. We'll have to work on that behavior.
We had the same weather here.....today was beautiful though. The girls do very well going for walks!!
Give Darbie big big hugs from us...and many doggie kisses.
Wonderful to hear that both pups are on the road to happy and healthy:)
WOW, I honestly thought Bonnie was "smaller" and Natasha was "larger than what you just said! Optical illusion! I hope you can send a pic with both girls side by side!
That is odd & very frightening that Natasha went for the computer wire! I would never think to unplug anything unless we were going away for weeks!
At 2 years old, she may not have grown out of that. Interesting, I'd love to know her story....Not sure if a rubber toy would help or hinder this behavior?
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