I'm really lone

[flugirl]

I don't know if this is relevant to your website's mission, but I really need to get this off my chest. I just need to be able to get this out. I am a college senior and is suffering the flu. I have been coughing my lungs out and been in an out of fevers and chills. A few of my friends have called me ask about my condition, but I feel like they are not genuine. They called me initially to ask if I wanted to go out. After they fought out they nonchalantly asked if I was "okay." Not if you need anything call me. I told them that I have the flu and unless they've been vaccinated, don't come see me because I don't want to infect them. Honestly if my good friend told me that I would disregard her hesitation and still go see her/him. I hate how my friends are so "fake." They only want to be around me when I'm fun, not when I'm suffering and really need their concern. The only friend that I have, would rather sleep than take me to get some soup. That really hurts, I thought we were really good friends! I can't talk to my family members because I'm so far from home and I don't want them to worry. I don't want to talk to one other good friend because like my family she really far away and can't do anything; furthermore, I don't want her to worry as well. I thought that if I treat others like how I want to be treated that if will apply when I'm in times of need. But this has proven me wrong. I feel so alone. No one cares for me and that all the people that I thought are my friends only want to use me and take advantage of my kindness. Everything is good and everyone loves me when I'm vibrants and showing them a good time, but when I'm sick there's no one here to take care of me. Is it my fault? Have I been too guarded? I feel lonely, betrayed, abused, and completely hopeless in humanity and their virtuosity. I feel that there is nothing free in life and that the only people who cares about me are those in my family. I don't want to live life like this.  I don't want to put up a wall and keep everyone out. I feel that I have learned one thing, when I'm in trouble the only person that I can trust is myself!

[Michaela31]

hi there, I just read your comment! well you have done the right thing so far which is that you have been honest about how you feel! I'm sorry that you feel so alone. what are your hobbies? perhaps you could join a sports, dance or some kind of group?  I'm from New Zealand and im 17 years old! well I hope your week gets better, and things will get better, everyone in there life experiences lonliness etc. Take one day at a time and things will get better!! :-) hope to hear from ya soon!!! bye

[nlrib9272]

When you read this, I hope you are feeling better.  I work in a guidance office in a high school and I can attest to the fact that "most" people are not as genuine as you might think; especially, teenagers.  Please keep in mind that they are selfish.  I realize you are in college, but it can be a "mature" thing; and hopefully they will outgrow their selfishness.  

As far as you are concerned, please keep in mind there are people out here who are compassionate to others, along with your family members.  This is a good forum for people to "air" their feelings!  As you can see from some of the responses, people are genuinely concerned.  

You should be feeling better in a few days, keep in touch!  

[jennyfromcrawley]

Hi

I hope that you are feeling a lot better now.  Its a hard one and I understand you feeling alone and let down by your friends when you need them.  

When you are unwell one of the stages if recovering is depression (my parents always told me that I was getting better when I became miserable and angry)  not that this is what is happening with you but it could be a factor thats made you over sensitive to the way your 'friends' have treated you.

They are young and took you at your word when you told them to keep their distance, its hard to blame them really as they might well think they are following your wishes.  The friend who refused to get you soup and instead slept is not very kind but he probably dosnt realise how hard this has hit you.  When you are young, you tend to border on selfish for a period, its not an excuse but dont give up on your friends just yet, they may one day fall ill themselves and need your support, and then will realise just how you felt.

Much love

Jenny