I have a fear that I may of molested my cousin when she would tickle me (I got turned on and would masturbate after). I am really scared I was 13-15 don't know the exact age and I am so frightened that I touched her, I have a memory too but can't pin point if it is real or not. it is killing me cuz I think if it is real would I be a child molester cuz I was a teen and she was only a small child? I have all these thoughts like having to register as a sex offender. What is normal behavior and deviant criminal behavior? I don't see my doc till Wed :( and I know I have to tell her. My medications are not working. I've gotten physically ill over this and literally it feels like I have something hard on my chest, I feel so sick.
Definitely talk to your doc. Sounds to me like your level of guilt is the problem, not what you may have done. Your saying that your medications are not working suggests to me that you have come to this same conclusion.
This sort of thinking is often part of OCD, don't mistake symptoms for realities.
It feels all too real to me and I know she is going to say it's my OCD coming back. I wish people could know how real it feels and how bad this makes me feel. I am so sick, I have not showered in 3 days and cannot stop crying, when I am not crying I am moping around the house or laying in my bed trying to put the pieces together and it feels too real that the process beings all over again I feel as though if I indeed touched my young cousin, I may as well be dead cuz I can't live with myself to know I did something so horrible.
Sorry it is so tough. The feeling real is what gives the symptoms their power. If they just felt like symptoms we could laugh them off.
Another thought: when you are feeling somewhat better and back on track, would it make any sense to gently raise the issue with your cousin, having first explained that people with OCD often feel very guilty over small things or imagine things that did not really happen?
Frankly I don't know if this is a good idea or not but it might be worth discussing with your therapist.
Copyright 1994-2016MedHelp International.All rights reserved. MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.