I don't know where to turn

I had gastric bypass surgry done in2002 I weighed 260lb and now I weigh 130 lb.  I had a doctor do a tummy tuck in 2003 and It did not turn out good.  I was lucky that most of my weight was in my stomach I did not get the melting snowman look.  The doctor was suppose to do a Tummy Tuck and my Insurance paid for that.. He only did the procedure on the lower stomach (just under my belly button)  this made my upper stomach protrude and people are allways asking me if I am pregnant.  The belly button looks like a dried up orange, It's all pukery and sagging over.  I went back to this doctor several times and he just made the look worse every time so I gave up.

I was recently in a relationship for the first time since my surgery.  Once he saw the scares and the way my stomach looked he stopped callling and I havent heard from him since.  Now this was not a rush relationship I had been seeing him for 5 months and had told him about my scares and he said that it wouldn't bother him,  well it did.  After this reaction I have had to make myself leave my house and when I do I have panic attacks.  I don't put on makeup I wear big baggy clothes so that no one will notice me or talk to me.  I know that I am getting depressed but I don't know how to stop it.  I am se a counselor now,  but I still think about the reaction I got from this man.  A man I cared about very much.

I don't have alot of money and I have tried every way possible to get another surgery done on my stomach but I keep seeming to run Into the same walls.  I don't have enough money and my insurance wont cover it.  After my initial sugery I thought my life had changed.  I was thin, I was in better health, and I was told that the extra skin on my stomach could be fixed.  But I have been alone for the past 6 yrs afraid of somone seeing my scares and now that I took the chance I got the reaction I was dreding.  I don't want to be alone any more,  but I can not handle another rejection.  I need some one to help me.  Please

[Howard Rosenberg, MD]

I have no doubt that a revision of your abdominal area and scars can be performed with significant improvement.  However, it is also clear that your devastating previous relationship has nothing to do with your scars, but was likely a poor excuse to end the relationship.  It is not a good idea to project your psychological status on your scars.  I am sure your therapist is working with you on this issue.  If you undergo any future surgery on your abdomen, it is unwise to expect a successful outcome to change your life.