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Worst Christmas Gifts
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Founded by HelpinUtah on October 14, 2009
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Worst Christmas Gifts

Per teko - worst Christmas gifts.  

In order to follow the rules, the link shows last year's worst gifts.......

http://gawker.com/5871383/these-are-the-years-worst-christmas-presents

Have fun.
24 Comments
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649848_tn?1357751184
So far, teko's red and black, velvet pic of Satan on a toilet smoking a reefer, has first place..
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285927_tn?1380802356
Aw come on guys! No takers? How about a birthday gift, christmas gift, any kind of gift? Surely you have a story to tell? I will start.

When I was in the early years of my relationship with mole. I was a huge romantic (not so much now, he finally broke me). Now let me tell you how that happened.

My man works as an auto body repair technician. In other words he is  a redneck working in a shop with other rednecks. And this romantic ordered a dozen roses for him on his birthday and ordered a cake that had flowers on it too. Double no no.

He refused the flower delivery, amid laughter from his fellow rednecks and I had to scrape the flowers off the cake and put it in the garbage. We had a huge fight about it.

So the next year for his birthday I got him a boob cake and a 6 pak of beer. He loved it. I have lived and I have learned.

He also wanted a george foreman grill for christmas one year, so guess what happened. I bought him a foremen grill. And he bought one for me so he ended up with two foreman grills.
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649848_tn?1357751184
teko, you didn't really send Mole flowers at work? How embarrassing for him...LOL   He might have accepted them if they'd been waiting at home for him....... lol....... I've never sent hubby flowers, but I can imagine that he'd react much the same way, if I sent them to his macho job.... :-)  ...... and yes, boob cakes (or the bottom 1/2 with the scimpy panties) always go better for men, than those with flowers.  That's so funny...

I've gotten some pretty inappropriate gifts over my lifetime, but nothing really funny.

The worst gifts for me have been those that include cooking or cleaning, unless I've specifically asked for something, because they are so impersonal, and, somehow tell me I need to do better.

We did get "family" pictures a few years ago from our daughter, who has a son and her, then fiance, who had a daughter, from previous marriages.  My dear, recently departed, Auntie was mortified that people would have a "family" picture taken, before they became a family.  In cleaning out her house, I found the picture she'd received that year, shoved into a cabinet; never displayed. I kind of felt like Auntie did, but I did display the photo for a while.

Our daughter is now married to the, then, fiance and they have a wonderful family, that includes hers, his and theirs........My daughter went to a lot of trouble getting the right frames, etc and I never said anything to her about Auntie's feelings, so unless she runs across this post.........

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Avatar_f_tn
I cannot come up with any stories about gifts except a sad one which will bum everyone out, so not going there.
I do love reading about your marital relationships. NG and Teko, your stories crack me up. I think having a redneck for a hubby must be great fun. Missed out on that this lifetime but am happy  I can appreciate them through your stories.
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649848_tn?1357751184
Well, if we want to move into redneck husbands (and/or friends), that's a whole different subject...... and I can go there........... so long as hubby never gets into my MH account.      LOL
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973741_tn?1342346373
My first Christmas as a married women, I received . . .  two serving spoons, socks that had tread on them so i didn't sip, an umbrella with a fllashlight on the bottom of it (very handy in a storm when the lights went out), and lingerie 2 sizes too small (and I WAS pretty small back then).  I fet like a princess . . .
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Avatar_f_tn
He clearly didn't send his secretary out for those gifts. Those are just the things only he would know to get you. Very nice. :)
Do you still exchange gifts?
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163305_tn?1333672171
My husband and I love garlic,including baked garlic(~ smeared on bread ~yummy)
A close friend who was known for her offbeat gifts, one year gave us a garlic baker shaped like a giant clove of garlic, something we knew we'd never use.

We re-gifted it and I never saw it at that person's home either.
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206807_tn?1331939784
I once bought my Wife a Front Door (it may have been our anniversary). It was a very expensive door. I thought she would be impressed, I was wrong.
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Avatar_m_tn
I can't even think of a worst gift.  We had someone barf in a dish we brought to a Christmas party.... Super classy....
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Avatar_m_tn
I bought a vacuum one time.... got the same response RGlass.
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163305_tn?1333672171
I'd love a front door !
A nice antique wood one, maybe with arched window panes ?
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Avatar_f_tn
omg,-brice and glass you just woke me up, I was laughing so hard!
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973741_tn?1342346373
Rivll, oh yes.  It is the THOUGHT that counts is something I tell myself often.  On the forum I CL for, we often get young women that are quite upset because their partner doesn't get them cool gifts.  For some men, this is just not their 'thing'.  So, I contend you help them along a bit.  My husband wants me to be super excited about what he gets me . . .   so I have directed him quite clearly complete with store, department, aisle, item name and store id number . . . and even sometimes a picture.  :>)

I regift things from people who do not live with me occasionally and some have made excellent white elephant gifts!  but if I live with the gift giver, I suffer in silence.  For the lingerie, however, I'm no dumby.  I'm not wearing something that is too small and hence I look bigger than I am . . . so back to the store I took it trying to replace the EXACT same thing in a bigger size (which always feels really good when you tell the sales girl, yes, I want this but need bigger underwear).  

Now, my lovely cherubs I gave birth to I have found have a similar gift giving knack as their dad.  Oh, the beauties they find for me!  I have a necklace that is gold/mustard color crocheted with little purple beads in it that goes from the top of my neck practically down to my naval button.  And I have a red shiny sweater my other son picked for me that has black things that I think are supposed to be flowers or maybe puppy dogs (not sure) that stick out abuot an inch from the sweater all over it.  I wear my gifts proudly and I think I've said it here before, I stare directly at people as they stare and smile and say "gift from my son.  Isn't it beautiful?"
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh, and once my dear husband gave me a DVD player that he won as a door prize.  This was before we married and luckily I didn't think it a big enough deal to ever say a word that I knew this.  He's frugal and that makes me feel safe.  And as presents don't mean much to me in terms of feeling loved . . .   I'm okay with it when he is 'frugal'.  

Vacuum cleaner, rug shampooer, and answering machine have all been opened by me under the christmas tree with appropriate ooh's and aahhs and thank you's.  :>)
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh, and I thought I'd share this.  I have a friend that is exceptionally beautiful.  I mean, really, like no one else that I know.  She is movie start gorgeous in a way that EVERY where she goes, men stop and stare at her.  Because of her exceptional beauty, she always had a certain list of criteria for men.  I was a career girl on the 'cute' side----  I had no problem whatsoever paying for a date.  This meant nothing to me.  To her, this was a five alarm fire.  Men were to pay for everything!!  And she wanted a lot.  The person she married needed to be model material themselves in looks, had to not just be well off but bonafide millionaire types, etc.  Well, she found someone that matched that criteria.  

My friend is sweet but likes 'stuff'.  She set her sights one year on a very expensive (like a 20,000 dollar!!) watch.  She took him to the store.  She talked about it non stop.  She made it clear that she expected this watch for Christmas.  And then on Christmas morning . . . a box appeared.  Looked like a WATCH box!  She was very excited.  When it was time to open it, she did so with relish.  Indeed a nice watch box.  With a  30 dollar timex watch in it.  

(so awful of me, but I LOVED that he did that.  And he never bought her that watch although they clearly could afford it.  She ended up buying it for herself.  They are seperated at the moment which is sad but money shouldn't be the criteria for marriage in my opinion.)

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Avatar_f_tn
Oh, the beauties they find for me!  I have a necklace that is gold/mustard color crocheted with little purple beads in it that goes from the top of my neck practically down to my naval button.  And I have a red shiny sweater my other son picked for me that has black things that I think are supposed to be flowers or maybe puppy dogs (not sure) that stick out abuot an inch from the sweater all over it.  I wear my gifts proudly
That is precious, SM..I can relate. Children's gifts are truly wonderful.

I wasn't being negative about the gifts (though I really cannot figure the serving spoons, lol) I thought it was very sweet. I like hand picked gifts even if they don't meet the ideal of a "perfect" gift, whatever that may be.
My husband never had a clue and it never mattered to me. Just knowing he thought enough of me to give me something was a gift.
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206807_tn?1331939784
I once used a Temp Service for Laborers. It was a big job and I gave them about $100,000.00 worth of business.
At Christmas they called to invite me to their Company Christmas Lunch and they had a Gift for me as a Token of their appreciation.
The key word is “Token”. The gift was a Can of Caramel Popcorn.
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285927_tn?1380802356
Caramal Popcorn R? LOL

Yes, Barb I really really did send my redneck mole flowers! I tell ya tho, it sure did teach me a lesson! lol

I think in all fairness tho that I must share the absolute bestest Christmas ever in my lifetime.

The kids were all small. We were living week to week trying to make ends meet and not succeeding. Christmas was considered a non necessity and we absolutely could not afford it at all. We could not afford the dinner much less to buy gifts. Literally if we bought gifts we would not eat.

So we went to the woods and took the kids and we cut a tree. We strung it with popcorn on thread and lots of little ornaments the kids had made over the school years. We all knew there would be no gifts that year and we were okay with it. We were all healthy, and together, and happy.

Then Christmas morning came and the kids daddy gave me a bookcase he had made. It was rough and just the basics and nothing fancy at all. I still have that bookcase to this day and it is my most cherished possession. He made the girls a miniature cradle for their dollbabies. It was priceless and a perfect little miniature of the real thing. He whittled the boys whistles, and they really really worked. We had expected nothing. And it turned out to be the best Christmas we ever had. I had never felt so humbled, honored and loved more than I did that year.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Laugh, Live and by all means, Love.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh now Teko, you brought a little tear to my eye.  That is a wonderful story and memory you've shared with us.  
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649848_tn?1357751184
You always send us for a spin..... do we need another thread about the best Christmas?  Or should we just keep this one going for whatever people want to post?

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285927_tn?1380802356
Nah! LOL, this one is fine, thanks tho! LOL
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480448_tn?1403547723
OMG....my MIL is great for awful gifts.  She works PT for Hallmark.  We always get clearance ornaments, only they will have a different year printed on them (like in 2000, she gave us the Hallmark ornaments from 1992).  She tells us to write the correct year on the bottom with a sharpie.  LOL

She puts the weirdest things in our (grown-ups) stockings...

Hubby will get dollar store off brand shower gel that smells like toxic chemicals, a roll of gift wrap tape and a bag of pineapple flavored peanuts.  I'll get a small jar of cooking oil, socks with lizards on them, and my personal favorite was posti-it pads designed to look like a maxi pad (noooooo lie)....it was obviously some kind of promotional kotex item.  Me and both of hubby's sisters got them in our stockings one year.  I could hardly curtail my excitement.

WTH do you say to stuff like that???  LOL

I could tell MIL gift stories all day.

LOVED all the tales.  SM...I was dying laughing picturing your 50# sweater!  Ha ha!!

I want to ask but I don't...cassreole dish with vomit in it??  HUH?  Blah!
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480448_tn?1403547723
Whats funny is...my MIL always gives each family a big gift, on top of all that silly junk.  Like one year, she took ALL of us(18) on a Disney Cruise!

She just needs to skip the other junk!  Ha!
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