Advice please

[Firsttimemomm216]

Okay, so I am really stressed out. I'm not quite sure who the father of my child is. During the summer, my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. He got a new girlfriend and I found out they were sleeping together. (we took each other's virginities so I was very hurt) I met this guy who I didn't like at all but he liked me a lot so it took my mind off of my ex boyfriend. He was real big into drugs and that's just not me at all. One night he asked me if I wanted to smoke pot, I gave in and tried it. Since it was my first time, I was really out of it. I was actually scared. We ended up having sex (without condom on July 28) after realizing it was wrong I told him to stop. Seven days later, I arrived at the beach and I got my period, or so I thought. After I came home from the beach I drank alcohol and it made me kind of sick. A few days after I got home, my ex and I slept together multiple times. Every time we do he goes inside of me. We have been together since then. We suspected I was pregnant a little after a month after this and it was positive. When I went to the doctor they told me my expected due date was may 11, 2014 based on my lmp. My lmp is very irregular, I rarely get it and when I do it lasts only 3-4 days. Is there a better chance of the random hookup being the father or my boyfriend? If I did the calculations right, if it was from the hookup I conceived on the day we had sex and my due date is August 22. The only chance of it being his is if it was implantation bleeding and not my period. When I had my ultrasound they said I was measuring perfectly with my due date of may 11. My second ultrasound they pushed it to may 13. If that is my actual due date my conception date is the 18 of aug and we had sex all that week. I'm just really afraid because when I drank after the hookup I got sick and I bled seven days after we had sex and that's how long sperm lives. I've read that it's not likely they would be off by three weeks but it's a possibility. We bought a DNA test and I'm so afraid for the results, someone please help

[AnnieBrooke]

Babies come when they come.  The only information that tells you anything about the conception date is the information from the measurements at the front end of the pregnancy.  A person could get pregnant on January 1 and get into a stress situation of some kind and have the baby two months premature; this does not mean that history is rewritten and she no longer conceived on January 1.

[Firsttimemomm216]

I'm sorrry to bother you but I have preeclampsia and they want to induce me at 39 and a half weeks. If the hookup was the dad my due date would have been April 22, 2014. I'm only 1.5 cm dilated. Is it safe the say I can rule him out?

[Firsttimemomm216]

I cannot stop thinking about it. As my due date approaches I get such bad anxiety. We live together and things are finally going good. His nursery is beautiful and I will just be devastated if the outcome is not what I wanted. It just freaks me out that they go by you're last period because I'm almost thirty three weeks and thirty three weeks ago was when we had sex. I know the add two weeks bc of your period but it's just a scary thought. I pray it was my period

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, you won't stop being stressed until you see the test, and the test will not indicate the hookup is the dad, so for heaven's sake, don't be foolish and let yourself stew, do the test.  (ps -- keep in mind that sometimes the home tests get results that turn out to be flaky.  If so, go to a lab certified by the courts.  Or, just start with a lab certified by the courts that is certified to handle paternity cases; the cost is not that much more than the home tests and you can rely on the results.)  Point is, the other guy was way too early to have anything to do with anything.  But if you can't get over the guilt, at least take the test and get that thread of worry off your mind.  Then, work on how to get rid of the guilt.  Best way there is to pledge to make your boyfriend the happiest dad in the world for the rest of his life.  That's how you get over the guilt and he gets something good out of something you feel bad about.

[Firsttimemomm216]

Thank you. I just feel so awful. I love my baby but it's so stressful

[AnnieBrooke]

Take the test, honey.  Your hookup had nothing to do with the pregnancy.