Conception date accuracy? Please any advise would be appreciated a

[anaruby89]

My story is a bit long so thankyou for reading.... I was with my ex for 4 years.... we broke up for 2 months and we got back together in end of october. We we're having a lot of problems and issues with drugs and drinking and I was mentally and physically abused. Long story short in november me and him were having sex every other day and until the morning of november 25. I had a sexual assault case that day. I was hospitalized because I woke up outside next to a tent with all my clothes on with no memory of what happen. I had been drinkin with my ex and had tooken some pills and we got in a fight and thats the ladt I remember. I'm not happy with this outcome but I was hospitalized they did some tests and the nurses believed there were no signs of rape due to having all my clothes on and from urine samples. When I took my clothes off however I had grass inside my panties and pants but they still believed no sign of rape. I still wanted a rape kit to be establised so I was taken to another place where I had the rape kit done to see if they can find any dna and the nurse allso stated she believed that nothing happened. That I just passed out drunk and maybe I had fallen while going pee and that's why I ended up with grass inside my panties. Because of all this my detective didn't want to pursue the case because there was not enough evidence for a sexual assault. I also had the morning after pill that same day on nov 26. In december I didn't get my period  and didn't think much of it until I took a pregnancy test. And it came out positive and I was shocked.... I had 30 day cycles and im 70% sure my lmp was on or around november 1. First u/s stated I was 9 weeks on 1/6/14 with dd of  aug 11, 2014 with estimated conception on nov 18. Second u/s was 1/14/14 and states g.a was 10 w 1d with dd of aug 11, 2014, and third u/s on 1/20/14 & gave me g.a of 11 w 4d with dd of aug 7 with estimated conception on nov 14.{3d u/swas more advanced I believe doing different measurements and was more graphic) if my lmp was around nov 1, estimated due date would be august 8 so all three ultrasounds were pretty close by three days and the 3d was measuring more close to my edd by lmp. So my question is how accurate are these ultrasounds in dating conception and is there any possibility that I was sexually assaulted and got pregnant on nov 25 even tho I have no memory of that day... All nurses that did my ultrasounds and my dctr believe I was altready pregnant prior to nov 25 and the morning afyer pill didnt wrk bc I had already conceived. What do you thnk? Any feedback would be appreciated thankyou. (i am now 19 in a.half weeks preg and my ex denies my baby bc of that incident that I dnt thnk happened and stopped talking to me completely but I find out in 1 week in a half the gender) im gonna be a single mom and im stressed bc I thnk what if I.was sex assaulted and got preg from a guy that I dont remember) i just want piece of mind already.do you thnk its safe to say its my ex bf baby?

[anaruby89]

Thankyou annie brooke and God bless you. I will be doing that. And thankyou again for your advise

[AnnieBrooke]

I think you were already pregnant before the blackout incident, and I also don't think you were raped.  Try to put the incident behind you except to use it to fuel your new good intentions.  Seriously I do recommend talking to a family-law lawyer or a family counselor, because you need to think long and hard about whether you really want this guy to know he is the dad.  In so many ways it would be better if he did not, or at least, if he had no legal way to claim the child and make many further hassles in your life.  Talk to any lawyer at a legal clinic for low-income clients who handles divorces, and you will get so many awful stories about joint custody and the sliders who try to bug the woman by not living up to their commitments, that you really will begin to believe you are better with him out of the picture.

If you know his family and like them and want them to know their grandchild, you can do that without having him in your life.

Good luck to you in your values clarification and decision making.

Annie

[anaruby89]

The results did not find any dna so thats why my detective closed my case.

[anaruby89]

Thankyou Annie Brooke. There was no evidence what soever but im just traumatized from that day if that makes sence.. Either way I know hes never going to grow up and continue doing the things he does but I guess what I need is that piece of mind and im sure im not going to get it until my baby arrives. Im a changed woman, ive grew up and things happen for a reason and maybe it was just time for me to get my life together and this was the only way to get away from my ex bc it was a really bad relationship. Thanku for your feedback :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, if the first ultrasound (which is the only one to use to try to assess when you ovulated) says your due date is August 11, and since it was such an early ultrasound it will be accurate to within a couple or three days, you should assume conception was on November 18, no later than around the 21st.

Here is your problem.  Your choices are a guy from a rape that you don't even know occurred (you don't say the rape kit found any DNA), and an ex who is presently being a jerk, who is also a drug user and an abuser of women.  I am not exactly sure, in this situation, that I would want to have anything to do with him even if he is the father of my child.  It might be a good idea to get some advice, possibly from a lawyer who handles family law.  If you were to come at this guy for child support (and a DNA test of course), you could get the DNA test by court order but how much do you want the guy to be your child's father?  Is he rich and rolling in child-support money and would stand right up and become Ward Cleaver, ready to take your child to soccer?  Doesn't sound much like it.

I'd consider my own act (the blackout drinking and taking pills is not a good way to be) and whether I can do this alone, and if I can be a good role-model mom, and go from there, and forget the guy.  Or if you want to know for sure he's the dad just because you want to stick it to him for being a dodger, get the DNA test.  But the day you file for child support, is the day you are going to be joined for the next 18 years to a pile of hassle about collecting the child support, visitation and who didn't show up on time and all of that.

I'm sorry you're in this spot.  I don't think you got pregnant as late as the possible rape, I think you were already pregnant, just like your medical advisors said.  But I don't think there is a lot of win for you in knowing that, if the only candidate for dad is this a.h. you've been hanging around with who has since taken a powder.  In a lot of ways, good for you that he is behaving 100% awful, because you can disconnect with rightness on your side.