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Conception date question...please help
Last year on April 16, 2014 I was raped. After that I had sex with my husband on May 19,2014. That same day I had sex with my husband I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.
My last period was on april11-15.
My child was born on January 14,2015 at 8pounds.
There is no way it can be my husbands right?
Regardless of the baby's biological father issue my husband loves him with all his heart and doesn't makes any differences between the newborn and our 3 year old.
My last period was on april11-15.
My child was born on January 14,2015 at 8pounds.
There is no way it can be my husbands right?
Regardless of the baby's biological father issue my husband loves him with all his heart and doesn't makes any differences between the newborn and our 3 year old.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Given that the man and you were in communication later and he knows you got pregnant, I definitely would talk to a family counselor sooner or later about what you are going to say to the child, because chances are that if you don't have a way to inoculate the kid in advance against the rapist's spin on the story, the rapist might find a way to get to him and tell him (his version of the story).
If you experienced a date rape or a workplace harassment rape, I would also talk to a prosecutor, just to get the man onto a list in case he ever tries to come back into the country. If there is no complaint against him, he is free to travel back and forth, and to do it again in similar circumstances.
If you experienced a date rape or a workplace harassment rape, I would also talk to a prosecutor, just to get the man onto a list in case he ever tries to come back into the country. If there is no complaint against him, he is free to travel back and forth, and to do it again in similar circumstances.
Your comment made me cry of happiness.
You are right. Regardless of who is the father my son already has a great amazing loving one who would give his life for him.
I guess it's just my really bad anxiety getting the worst of me.
I'm 99% sure my son is the result of my sexual assault and that's why I didn't want to press charges cause I don't want my son near my rapist at all.
You have no idea all the awful stuff he told me, he told me to abort him and to not contact him again and that was the last I heard of him.
And to top it off he gave me an STD.
It's been hell but my children keep me strong and my husband as well.
Thank you for your kind words.
You are right. Regardless of who is the father my son already has a great amazing loving one who would give his life for him.
I guess it's just my really bad anxiety getting the worst of me.
I'm 99% sure my son is the result of my sexual assault and that's why I didn't want to press charges cause I don't want my son near my rapist at all.
You have no idea all the awful stuff he told me, he told me to abort him and to not contact him again and that was the last I heard of him.
And to top it off he gave me an STD.
It's been hell but my children keep me strong and my husband as well.
Thank you for your kind words.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your story does seem to add up to the rapist being the father. You could go over this with your ob-gyn doctor to see if he or she feels any differently. I'm sorry.
Please do realize that while it is quite natural to grieve this, before deciding it is a tragedy, understand that your husband is the wise one here. We as humans can love just as dearly a child (or other living being for that matter) that has nothing to do with us biologically, as one who is biologically related. Ask anyone who has adopted a child. Ask anyone who has had a child by using a donor egg. Ask anyone who has difficulties with a biological relative but loves an in-law who came into the family by marriage. There are so many examples of wonderful families who just collected a member here and there from whatever source, and they love each other and roll along together like all other families.
In short, we get our families where we find them, love makes us families. Your husband has the right attitude, he probably loves people and accepts them as he finds them, and clearly he loves you. He'll be an honored father and doubtless a good one. (Also, if you were married when the baby was born, he is legally the baby's father.) If you ever learn the other guy is in the U.S. again you might consider talking to a lawyer about prosecuting him for the rape, but that will create a record that would cause your child to wonder later who his father is, and perhaps this would be a can of worms you won't want to open. I would later on talk to a counselor about what, if anything, you should ever say to the child.
I'm sorry this is complicated emotionally, and in terms of deciding what to say to your son if ever anything is said. But, sweetheart, I think you are doubly lucky. You have a child, you have an unconditional husband. That's a lot of love.
Please do realize that while it is quite natural to grieve this, before deciding it is a tragedy, understand that your husband is the wise one here. We as humans can love just as dearly a child (or other living being for that matter) that has nothing to do with us biologically, as one who is biologically related. Ask anyone who has adopted a child. Ask anyone who has had a child by using a donor egg. Ask anyone who has difficulties with a biological relative but loves an in-law who came into the family by marriage. There are so many examples of wonderful families who just collected a member here and there from whatever source, and they love each other and roll along together like all other families.
In short, we get our families where we find them, love makes us families. Your husband has the right attitude, he probably loves people and accepts them as he finds them, and clearly he loves you. He'll be an honored father and doubtless a good one. (Also, if you were married when the baby was born, he is legally the baby's father.) If you ever learn the other guy is in the U.S. again you might consider talking to a lawyer about prosecuting him for the rape, but that will create a record that would cause your child to wonder later who his father is, and perhaps this would be a can of worms you won't want to open. I would later on talk to a counselor about what, if anything, you should ever say to the child.
I'm sorry this is complicated emotionally, and in terms of deciding what to say to your son if ever anything is said. But, sweetheart, I think you are doubly lucky. You have a child, you have an unconditional husband. That's a lot of love.
He was a former co worker, everything happened so quick and for the first months I saw it as cheating, I felt like it was my fault it happened, I waited to long and once I had the guts to tell my husband what had happened the guy fled to Mexico.
I didn't had any sex other than the rape the whole month of April.
I didn't get my period on May, I had like a super light bleeding on May 7 but now that I think about it it might have been implantation bleeding cause it was just a few drops of blood when I wiped.
I know there's like a 99% chance my son is my rapist son but I guess I just need to hear it from someone else you know.
That my husband has no chance of being the dad.
Like I said, my husband loves my son like his own, he is the best husband ever.
I want to do a DNA test with my husband but he said it doesn't matters what the outcome is.
I have photos if you would like to see.
I didn't had any sex other than the rape the whole month of April.
I didn't get my period on May, I had like a super light bleeding on May 7 but now that I think about it it might have been implantation bleeding cause it was just a few drops of blood when I wiped.
I know there's like a 99% chance my son is my rapist son but I guess I just need to hear it from someone else you know.
That my husband has no chance of being the dad.
Like I said, my husband loves my son like his own, he is the best husband ever.
I want to do a DNA test with my husband but he said it doesn't matters what the outcome is.
I have photos if you would like to see.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am sorry for the trauma you endured.
You had sex with your husband on May 19 but not before that? In other words, you had not had sex with anyone else in April except the rape on April 16?
Was the rapist prosecuted, and is he in jail or has at least whereabouts that are known? Would you be able to do a DNA test with him?
You had sex with your husband on May 19 but not before that? In other words, you had not had sex with anyone else in April except the rape on April 16?
Was the rapist prosecuted, and is he in jail or has at least whereabouts that are known? Would you be able to do a DNA test with him?
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