Daughter or not?

[Old_Dad93]

I have a problem problem I am hoping for some advice. In 1989 I  had a girlfriend, I'll call her Mary. We broke up in March. Mary moved out of state. We were "together" the following May during a visit back to town. Mary showed up at my Mother's house the following September she asked how I was doing, my mom said I had a new girlfriend and was doing well.  Mary told my mom she was pregnant but it was not mine, but somebody she met out of state and if my mom was interested in adopting the baby. My mom declined.

The following Februrary Mary showed up at my moms again with the baby, I'll call the baby Jenny. She asked if my mom would reconsider adopting Jenny but my mom declined. Mary asked if she could watch her during the day for a couple weeks to help her and my mom agreed. I was puzzled when I found this out, I saw Baby Jenny and she kind of looked like me but since Mary said she wasn't mine I thought I should believe her, I was young. A couple weeks went by and Mary told my mom she found a family to adopt JEnny in an open adoption

As the years went on I always felt Jenny  could have been mine. I was able to track down Mary on Facebook this year. I asked her if Jenny was mine. She said no it was someone else. I reminded her we were together in May 1989  and she said she didn't remember that far back. She did tell me Jenny was born on Jan 31st 1990. I asked who the father was and she started to get iterated and I saw some pics of Jenny on her page and she had some resemblences to my family.

Mary blocked me and said to never contact her again. I found Jenny's address online, should I contact her? She is now in her 20s.

I have a daughter and wife, they are ok with it. I am afraid  I'll hurt Jenny.

Help! A good heart!

[Old_Dad93]

Thanks your advice really helps!

[AnnieBrooke]

If Mary calls you and is angry, just tell her you wanted to be sure because the timing has always bothered you.  No discussion of the adoption offer or any of her behavior.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think Mary does not feel this is your child, but if you two had sexual contact in May, it is possible that she could be.  It wouldn't be wrong to contact Jenny and let her decide if she wants to do a DNA test, with the simple explanation that you and Mary were breaking up around then and you would just like to be sure.  No gothic explanations to Jenny about Mary showing up and offering adoption.  Those would be unnecessarily distressing, and Mary is going to be mad enough as it is if you contact Jenny.