Determining paternity??

[Kiss74]

I am currently 18wk2d pregnant. My due date is November 18th. My lmp started on Feb 7. I had sex with Man 1 on the 19th and 21st and sex with Man 2 the 11th, 12th, and 24th. Who is more likely the father?

[Kiss74]

Ok thank you. I thought so but wanted to be for sure.

[AnnieBrooke]

In your shoes, I would read up on the Shettles method, and see about the male-sperm living a shorter time than female-sperm theory.  If (when) you learn the gender of the baby, you might be able to make a guess. But it won't be absolute, couples using Shettles and ovulation predictor kits still aren't able to make the method work reliably.

If it is vitally (like life-and-death) important for you to know before the baby comes, call Ravgen or the DDC about their noninvasive prenatal paternity tests. They cost a bundle but are definitive. There is no risk to the baby.

Be sure to test with both guys if you go that route. Many women write in who only tested with one guy, and got a negative, and then are freaking out that it might have been wrong. If you're going to spend the big bucks, you may as well be certain.

Or, test after the baby comes for about a tenth of the cost. Again, test with both men. You can usually get a list of approved labs (for legally determining paternity) from the family courts in your area of jurisdiction. Don't use a drugstore test, they are not admissible in court due to the risk of them being faked.

[Kiss74]

How is my conception date November 25th?

[AnnieBrooke]

Sorry, February 25.  I was focusing so hard on getting the number right that I wrote the name of the month of your EDD.

[AnnieBrooke]

When you got your first ultrasound, how many weeks GA were you?  Did they give you the due date of November 18 then?  If you got your first ultrasound later than your 10th week, the margin for error is going to be too wide to be able to use ultrasound evidence to try to pinpoint conception because the men were so close together in time.

Even if your due date came from a 6th or 7th week ultrasound, unfortunately, sperm from February 21 could have been alive in your reproductive tract until February 26 or 27.  This would mean that on February 24, you would have had living sperm from both men in your system at the same time. At which point, if you ovulated, it is just luck of the draw which man could be the father.

You could try to guess using the biological theory behind the Shettles method.  In this theory, if the sperm that produced the child is a few days old, the child is likelier to be a girl, meaning in this case Man 1 would have a (slightly) higher chance of being the dad, and if the sperm that produced the child is newer, the child is likelier to be a boy, meaning Man 2 would have a slightly higher chance.  However, the Shettles method is not proven.

All you can do is a DNA test, either now or once the baby is born.  If you do a prenatal test, try Ravgen or the DDC, don't go with an Internet cheapie or you'll just waste your money.

[Kiss74]

I got my ultrasound when I was 6wk4days, that was the due date they gave me then. I am so upset with myself about the whole situation but my Baby is a blessing.  Thanks for your help.

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, if your numbers are from an ultrasound in the 6th week, your estimated conception date is November 25. Which happens to be a date when both men had sperm in your system. Is the baby a boy or a girl, do you know? There is a slightly higher chance that if a girl, the baby is from Man 1 and if a boy, it is from Man 2, but not a tremendously higher chance. You will need to do a DNA test.

When you do the test, be sure to test with both men. You need a positive for one and a negative for the other.