HElP ME

[Kira1986]

Okay my sonogram was taken on 4/14/15 and it said i was 10 weeks and 3 days. I was trying to see could the sonogram be wrong and whose would it be.  Guy A doesn't have kids and he didn't think he could. My kids Father didn't pull out and according to my period tracker my ovulation date was on Feb 18 and we had sex on the 16th or the 17th. Then with Guy A again on the 20th. According to what I think is my date of conception I would be 10 weeks and 1 day today. but the sonogram puts my date of conception on Feb 14 and  I did have sex on that day. Which one could it be. I need to know. I don't plan on keeping it if I cant figure this out
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[Kira1986]

I will thank you. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I will let you know the outcome

[AnnieBrooke]

I wish you the best.  Please bring everything and talk to a good doc who will give you full attention -- take a calendar, have your records sent over, the works.  It is worth that much trouble.  That way you will have given the situation every chance.

[Kira1986]

thank you

[AnnieBrooke]

Talk to your doctor first, and go over every piece of data.  He or she might have some insight that will help you with this very tough decision.  Good luck.

[Kira1986]

no it was planned parenthood I went in to get an abortion, so they didn't care about the due date. I only changed my mind because I thought it was my kids father but from what you are saying its possibly Guy A's so that means I will be going back. Thanks for your help I really needed to know. Things still dont add up to me but I will take it and run with it.

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like the 7 weeks 3 days ultrasound (did they give you an estimated due date from it?) lines up with the 10 weeks 3 days ultrasound.

[Kira1986]

NO mam i was on my period I got off m period around the 8 or 9th

[AnnieBrooke]

Did you have sex in the week before the 11th with the father of your kids?

[Kira1986]

Thanks for you help adoption would be out of the question for me. I wouldnt want to carry it full term to much stress on me and my other children would look at me different when i come home without the baby plus I am with one of the guys still so he would leave if he knew what happened and I cant put my other kids through that. Also i have pretty regular periods they always come on the 3rd or 4th of the month and last for 6 to 7 days so I had just gotten off my period when i had sex with Guy A on the 11th.

[Kira1986]

I also had a sonogram done on 3/24 and at that one said i was 7 weeks 3 days and one done on the 3/12 that said i was 4 to 5 weeks, that's when i first found out I was pregnant. i also was told I had a huge cyst on my ovaries.

[Kira1986]

I meant to say I didnt have sex on the 14th  Guy A went out of town for 9 days and me and my kids father had sex on the 17th the first day of my LMP was Feb/4.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Kira,

Here is what I think you are saying, except that in one of your posts you said you did not have sex on the 14th and above you say you did have sex on the 14th.  I'll assume the second one and put it together like this:

had sex 2/11 with Guy A, pretty sure he pulled out (no condom?)
had sex [with _?_] on 2/14
sex with your kids' father 2/17
sex with Guy A again 2/20  

You ask, 'could the sono B wrong.'

You're right, your sonogram indicates the 14th as the day of conception, and if you could be certain of the sono's usefulness, Guy A would be most strongly in the running, since his sperm (I'm assuming unprotected sex here -- whether he pulled out is not unfortunately enough to prevent pregnancy) can live in your system 5-6 days after sex, and sex with your kids' dad would be too late to produce a pregnancy on the 14th, unless, of course, you had sex on the 14th with him.  

HOWEVER, your sono was too late in the pregnancy to guarantee pinpoint accuracy.  

By the time a woman is in her 12th week, because of variations from average in the growth rate of embryos, if using a sono to date conception, doctors will often name a margin for error of as wide as a week -- they will say, +/- 7 days.  At 10w3d, the margin is not that wide, but it is possible to have a +/- 3 or 4 day margin for error in your 10th week when using a sono to date conception.  

This would mean you might have conceived as early as the 10th or as late as the 18th.  This doesn't help you very much with your dilemma.

Also, if you had sex on the 14th with a guy who was not the one from the 11th,  either guy's sperm could have been the one that got you pregnant.  

Counting from your last period doesn't give enlightenment, because ovulation leads into the process and the period ends it, a period doesn't lead into a process and create ovulation.  In other words, a period will reliably come 14 or 15 days after ovulation if you aren't pregnant, but when the next ovulation will come can vary.  If your cycles are regular enough to set your watch by, like, every 28 days you get your next period, then you might be able to rely on that as a signal you ovulate at day 14, but otherwise it is not a useful sign.  Some women can go weeks and weeks between cycles, and it is because the body waits to ovulate until it feels like it, not because it ovulated two weeks after the last period and the period waited and waited.  Periods come pretty reliably two weeks after ovulation, if a woman is irregular in her cycles it's because her ovulation is whenever, not because her period is.

There are two labs that can do (very costly) work (a blood draw from the woman's arm and a swab from the man) to find out who the father is before the baby is born.  If you have $1,700 to $2,000 for this, you would be able to find out for sure.   (Unfortunately, most women aren't in the position to be able to do this.)  If you want to do it, pm me and I'll tell you about the two reliable labs and caution you about the bunch of them that are not reliable.

I understand you not planning to keep the baby if the wrong guy is the dad, and assume that since you already have children, you aren't wanting to have them watch you be pregnant and then put the baby up for adoption after a DNA test is done when the baby is born.  But I do want to put in a small plea from one who has struggled with infertility to carefully consider adoption before making a fast decision, especially since you would be ending the pregnancy without knowing for sure who the father is.  I am pro-choice, and know that people who think all kids are a blessing will make frustrating and pious speeches to women who are truly pretty much out of options, in terms of raising children they can't afford emotionally or financially.  I trust you know what you can handle.  But if there is any possibility that you could go through the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption if the DNA test proved the wrong guy to be the dad, the waiting adoptive parents would remember you in their prayers the rest of their days.

Good luck, your decision is not an easy one because with the dates this close together, there can be no certain answer.

(I wrote the above assuming you didn't have a sonogram in your 6th or 7th week that you didn't mention.  One that early would be much more accurate for determining conception.)