Aa
Had sex with two guys within 4 hours, could I be pregnant with my boyfriends baby?
I had sex with one of my coworkers....he came...twice, then I went home and my boyfriend wanted sex so I had sex with him as well. Both was no protection and I'm not on BC(trying to get pregnant) what is the probability that A. I am pregnant. B. It is my coworkers baby? I have no idea and the time frame is so short it is scary. I didn't plan on having sex with my boyfriend right after the guy but it happened. No negative feedback, I'm legit scared...(I am 18, with a house and a job so no name calling please)
Hello, when was your last period? How many days are your cycles normally?
unprotected sex is always going to risk pregnancy, if you end up pregnant with the window of conception being within the dates you had sex with both of them then the possibility is that it can be either men. You will need a paternity DNA test to know for definite once the baby is born. Normally doctors/midwifes need a window of 7-10 days between two men to be able to be sure who the father is.
My only positive advice I can give you in most women are only fertile for a week in the month during the time of ovulation. Any time outside of this window is low chance of getting pregnant.
so we can try to work out your ovulation dates to see if there is a chance of pregnancy. However if you havent started your period yet and it comes then not to worry.
How long ago was the intercourse with the two? you could get the morning after pill.
unprotected sex is always going to risk pregnancy, if you end up pregnant with the window of conception being within the dates you had sex with both of them then the possibility is that it can be either men. You will need a paternity DNA test to know for definite once the baby is born. Normally doctors/midwifes need a window of 7-10 days between two men to be able to be sure who the father is.
My only positive advice I can give you in most women are only fertile for a week in the month during the time of ovulation. Any time outside of this window is low chance of getting pregnant.
so we can try to work out your ovulation dates to see if there is a chance of pregnancy. However if you havent started your period yet and it comes then not to worry.
How long ago was the intercourse with the two? you could get the morning after pill.
2 Comments
It was about 11 days ago, and it's been 4 days since intercourse. I really want a baby so I'm not doing the morning after pill. I'm just worried that with both men being so close together if A. It could be my boyfriends (he doesn't want one but my coworker does) and B. If I could have twins from two different fathers.
Hi, Harley, if you do get pregnant, and if fraternal twins run in your family (it would have to be from your mom's side or from either of your grandmas, it doesn't come from the guy you had sex with) there is the possibility you could have ovulated twice and if that happened, it's possible to have twins from different dads. I wouldn't go that far in your speculations, though, until you know you're pregnant. Even in families where the women have the genetic tendency to pop out two eggs in one cycle, they don't do it every month. :)
If your period was 11 days ago, and if you have regular 28-day cycles, and if you had sex with the guys on day 7, there is a chance of pregnancy because of how long sperm lives in the woman's reproductive tract. It depends on how regular your cycles are, though. You might be a tiny bit early with that sex on the 7th, but some women ovulate early. The odds of pregnancy for a fertile couple having unprotected sex at the right time of the month are about 20% in any given month.
If you're pregnant and need to know who the dad is before the baby comes, you can get a prenatal DNA test for paternity if you want to spend some big bucks. (The labs for this specialty that have the best reputations are Ravgen and the DDC.) Or simply do a DNA test after the baby comes for about a tenth of the cost; since you want a baby no matter who the dad is, you might as well just save the money.
Because the sex was on the same day, if you got pregnant that day, there is no way to know which guy could be the dad, *unless* you don't have regular cycles. If you don't (if they swing widely between, say, 20 days and 40 days or more) you might not actually have been ovulating when you had sex with the guys. (In that case, of course, your co-worker is less likely to be the dad than the guy with whom you have sex regularly.)
A way to check on the possible day you ovulated is to get an ultrasound in about your 7th week (counted from the first day of your last period) if you're pregnant. Should you find out you are pregnant for sure, write back and I'll give you some pointers for what to say to the doctor to be sure you get the best information from the ultrasound.
Regarding the house and the job, good for you, you are miles ahead of many. You might also want to look into the cost of infant care, since it can be as expensive as a house payment and you'll obviously need to keep working if you're raising a child. I also know exactly where you are regarding wanting a baby no matter who the dad is. When a woman wants a baby, sometimes nothing else counts as much. But you're also going to face some issues (legal and emotional) that you might want to consider, if you don't happen to be pregnant from this month's efforts, to possibly avoid in future tries.
To show you the contrast between your plan and some other ways, I'll use the example of a woman who simply goes to a sperm bank. The sperm-banking system is the only one that can break the legal connection between the baby and the father. (In essence, the baby is all theirs, and nobody can say anything about how they are raising their child or have any claims to the child.) But since you know who both guys are, you'll have to deal with some issues that won't be very fun. The baby will have the right to make claims on the father, certainly financial rights and probably emotional too, and the child also has the moral right to know who his father is. So there is no not finding out, you will have to do a DNA test and will be obliged to tell the guys who is the dad. Then the issues kick in.
If your boyfriend doesn't want a child, he's doubtless going to fight with you about it (if the baby is from him). If you think "he'll come around," well, you know the situation better than anyone else, maybe he will. But a woman doesn't have the moral right to impose a child on someone who is unwilling to be a parent, no matter how willingly he had unprotected sex, and whether or not the law can force him to pay child support. That's always in the guy's mind in such situations, and it's hard to say he's wrong. Of course if your boyfriend really, really doesn't want a child, he should get a vasectomy or be obsessive about always wearing a condom. But he really should be more on the same page as you, than for you to just be having sex with him telling you he doesn't want kids.
If you're pregnant by your co-worker, you have another set of issues to deal with. I assume you are not intending to pass his child off as your boyfriend's child. (That won't work, your boyfriend will certainly demand a DNA test and he has the right to do so.) And besides, your child has the right to know who his or her father is. So, does this mean you would intend to break up with your boyfriend and be with the coworker? Or is your boyfriend OK with all of this and would want to keep living with you knowing the baby is not his? Does your co-worker have a life that would allow for either you to be together or for him to know his child is being raised by someone else? Is he involved with someone? Do you like the guy and want to be with him? Babies and kids need fathers -- it makes a big difference in their self-esteem.
Anyway, if this baby thing is serious enough to go to the extreme of sleeping with two guys on the same day, you might want to re-think your present relationship. It sounds cold to the ears of a guy, but if a guy doesn't want a baby and the girl does, it's enough grounds to end the relationship so she can find someone who wants kids. She's simply never going to stop wanting, and he's never going to stop resisting, and that causes a lot of continual baseline tension in the relationship. It might be time for you to consider a different plan, if you're not pregnant now.
Write back when you find out, and I'll tell you what to say to the doc to get the best information for confirming when you did get pregnant.
Annie
If your period was 11 days ago, and if you have regular 28-day cycles, and if you had sex with the guys on day 7, there is a chance of pregnancy because of how long sperm lives in the woman's reproductive tract. It depends on how regular your cycles are, though. You might be a tiny bit early with that sex on the 7th, but some women ovulate early. The odds of pregnancy for a fertile couple having unprotected sex at the right time of the month are about 20% in any given month.
If you're pregnant and need to know who the dad is before the baby comes, you can get a prenatal DNA test for paternity if you want to spend some big bucks. (The labs for this specialty that have the best reputations are Ravgen and the DDC.) Or simply do a DNA test after the baby comes for about a tenth of the cost; since you want a baby no matter who the dad is, you might as well just save the money.
Because the sex was on the same day, if you got pregnant that day, there is no way to know which guy could be the dad, *unless* you don't have regular cycles. If you don't (if they swing widely between, say, 20 days and 40 days or more) you might not actually have been ovulating when you had sex with the guys. (In that case, of course, your co-worker is less likely to be the dad than the guy with whom you have sex regularly.)
A way to check on the possible day you ovulated is to get an ultrasound in about your 7th week (counted from the first day of your last period) if you're pregnant. Should you find out you are pregnant for sure, write back and I'll give you some pointers for what to say to the doctor to be sure you get the best information from the ultrasound.
Regarding the house and the job, good for you, you are miles ahead of many. You might also want to look into the cost of infant care, since it can be as expensive as a house payment and you'll obviously need to keep working if you're raising a child. I also know exactly where you are regarding wanting a baby no matter who the dad is. When a woman wants a baby, sometimes nothing else counts as much. But you're also going to face some issues (legal and emotional) that you might want to consider, if you don't happen to be pregnant from this month's efforts, to possibly avoid in future tries.
To show you the contrast between your plan and some other ways, I'll use the example of a woman who simply goes to a sperm bank. The sperm-banking system is the only one that can break the legal connection between the baby and the father. (In essence, the baby is all theirs, and nobody can say anything about how they are raising their child or have any claims to the child.) But since you know who both guys are, you'll have to deal with some issues that won't be very fun. The baby will have the right to make claims on the father, certainly financial rights and probably emotional too, and the child also has the moral right to know who his father is. So there is no not finding out, you will have to do a DNA test and will be obliged to tell the guys who is the dad. Then the issues kick in.
If your boyfriend doesn't want a child, he's doubtless going to fight with you about it (if the baby is from him). If you think "he'll come around," well, you know the situation better than anyone else, maybe he will. But a woman doesn't have the moral right to impose a child on someone who is unwilling to be a parent, no matter how willingly he had unprotected sex, and whether or not the law can force him to pay child support. That's always in the guy's mind in such situations, and it's hard to say he's wrong. Of course if your boyfriend really, really doesn't want a child, he should get a vasectomy or be obsessive about always wearing a condom. But he really should be more on the same page as you, than for you to just be having sex with him telling you he doesn't want kids.
If you're pregnant by your co-worker, you have another set of issues to deal with. I assume you are not intending to pass his child off as your boyfriend's child. (That won't work, your boyfriend will certainly demand a DNA test and he has the right to do so.) And besides, your child has the right to know who his or her father is. So, does this mean you would intend to break up with your boyfriend and be with the coworker? Or is your boyfriend OK with all of this and would want to keep living with you knowing the baby is not his? Does your co-worker have a life that would allow for either you to be together or for him to know his child is being raised by someone else? Is he involved with someone? Do you like the guy and want to be with him? Babies and kids need fathers -- it makes a big difference in their self-esteem.
Anyway, if this baby thing is serious enough to go to the extreme of sleeping with two guys on the same day, you might want to re-think your present relationship. It sounds cold to the ears of a guy, but if a guy doesn't want a baby and the girl does, it's enough grounds to end the relationship so she can find someone who wants kids. She's simply never going to stop wanting, and he's never going to stop resisting, and that causes a lot of continual baseline tension in the relationship. It might be time for you to consider a different plan, if you're not pregnant now.
Write back when you find out, and I'll tell you what to say to the doc to get the best information for confirming when you did get pregnant.
Annie
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