How to figure out who father is?

[ashleyflowers]

Hi I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with some one else but currently I am pregnant. I wanted to make sure on canceling out the chances of it being the other guys.
July 15th I had sex with guy a, it was fast and he used pull out method. August 6th I got my period for normal 8 days. August 25th I slept with my partner consistently for a week or more. Sept 11th I got a positive pregnany blood work that i was 3-4 weeks. On my first ultra sound at 6 weeks they measure me at 8 weeks and 9 days?
I was super confused because I didn't understand how i could be two weeks over.
When I would ask the doctor he would tell me it was accurate.
I've measured those two weeks ahead consecutively, he said the baby is long.
Recently at my 15 week but their 17 week 3 days he told me the baby was 8 oz?
So I'm extremely confused.
If it's not my partners I don't see myself able to keep the child despite how horrible that sounds.
What do I do? Please help I told my partner of my infidelity and created this mess. But will it continue to be worse if I wait till the baby is here just to see its not his?

[AnnieBrooke]

Pregnancy is not counted by your doctor from the day you had sex, it's counted from the first day of the last period.  Not because the doctor thinks you were pregnant on the first day of your last period, he knows you weren't pregnant then, you were having a period!  but that is where the count begins.

[ashleyflowers]

So there is no way its guy A's then?

[AnnieBrooke]

You said that when you thought you were 6 weeks three days you were actually 8 weeks 6 days.  But when a doctor says "8 weeks 6 days," day 1 of such a count is two weeks before the doctor really thinks you conceived.  So it's not two weeks 3 days off, it's just 3 days off.  And it would make sense if he is telling you the baby is a bit long for the baby to measure 3 days off.

[ashleyflowers]

Oh thank God I had never been so confused. I never knew when i conceived my first. So this was never an issue to me I just thought that was the exact age of the baby.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you got pregnant when you had sex with Guy A on July 15, the doc would have told you a due date of April 7.  Also, you had a period after Guy A, right?  It just sounds like you and the doctor were talking at cross purposes.

[ashleyflowers]

Oh ok I see I just had to be sure it was no where near guy A's. It felt like being hit by a car thinking there was any possibility. Now I can actually enjoy my pregnancy and stop being crazy. Thank you so much Annie you saved my pregnancy.

[AnnieBrooke]

All medical counts of pregnancy (the number like 8 weeks 6 days) begin on the first day of the last period you had before getting pregnant, or a calculated figure two weeks before conception if the woman doesn't know the first day of her last period.  If a doctor says to a woman, "Congratulations, you are 8 weeks pregnant!" he means about 6 weeks since conception. That is why pregnancy, which takes 38 weeks from conception to full term, is counted as being 40 weeks long.  Two weeks are added at the front end to calibrate the count to begin at the first day of the last period.

This is because in grandma's day, there were no ultrasounds.  All they had to start the count was when the lady's last period began.  The doctor is not telling you that you were pregnant on day 1, but that is when the count starts for historic reasons.  All textbooks, ultrasounds, everything use that kind of calibration. If you asked the doctor "is that counting back to when I conceived?" he would say no, you conceived a couple of weeks after that.
When the doc told you that you were 8 weeks 'along' or 8 weeks 'pregnant,' he was saying your embryo measured about what an embryo measures that had been conceived 6 weeks ago.

[AnnieBrooke]

I will say, it's a good thing you came clean about this with your boyfriend.  A lot of women stress themselves out supermuch about this situation because they don't want to have to fess up.  That was a good thing you did.

[ashleyflowers]

I agree I had to do it in order to move on, we are engaged and the next step is marriage, I just think my conscious wouldn't let me make that next step without first coming clean about my actions and mistakes. Now I can start fresh and learn from my mistakes. God is good. And I appreciate your fast response. <3 Have a wonderful day, hopefully I remember to come back and give a big thank you after baby girl is born, our blood work said it was another girl! Again thank you so much! Much love to you and your family Annie <3

[AnnieBrooke]

Thanks, Ashley.  May the new baby be a blessing.

[AnnieBrooke]

If your doctor said your due date is May 13, that suggests conception was August 20, which lines up with your last period being August 6, which is when you say it was.  You said your had your first ultrasound "at 6 weeks."  6 weeks starting from what?  

[ashleyflowers]

Oh thank you so much for replying 6 weeks from the time I had sex with my partner is what I was counting, because he was out of town and the day he came back into town on the 25th we had sex that's how I was counting the baby because I didn't understand how I could be two weeks out on the ultrasounds almost three weeks. Like I said I slept with someone else July 15th and then Aug 6th I got a period my period ended the 13th of the month and then the 25th I had sex with my partner. I wasn't sure how they measured the ultra sound, Is there any possibility guy a could be the father? it terrifies me. I told my partner what happened as painful as it was, and now my only stress is this. This is my second pregnancy and the doctor said the baby is big. So that's what throws me off, but my due date only changed two days. On my first ultrasound when I "thought" I was 6 weeks three days I was actually 8 weeks 6 days. Then when I thought I was 11 weeks 3 days the ultrasound said 13 weeks 3 days, then when I thought I was 15 weeks 3 days the ultrasound said 17 weeks 3 days. I'm going off my weeks by the time I had sex with my partner?

[ashleyflowers]

Sorry and my due date went from may 15th to may 13th

[ashleyflowers]

Also on my 17 weeks 3 days he told me the baby was 8 oz! I didn't work out or do pretty much anything for a month when I first found out I was pregnant, and I felt I was getting gestational diebetes because I was always so thirsty and felt like fainting, the doctor just told me to cut back on my suger. But how could the baby be 8 oz at 17 weeks even 15 when it's supposed to be 5oz at the most? i'm so confused.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think you are overthinking the weight issue out of your concern about having sex with the other guy.  Your doctor does not know the weight of the baby for sure, it's not like he put it on a scale and put it back in.

[ashleyflowers]

Well it didn't help my anxiety, the doctor said the baby was measuring two weeks ahead. And so I didn't understand what that meant or how it was possible. I think that's where my stress began.

[ashleyflowers]

He told me the height and then he told me your baby is measuring 8 ounces I'm sure of it. So idk then i looked it up online and it said baby had to be at least 19 weeks to be that heavy. And that was closer to being guy A baby. So you see where my mind began to go insane.

[ashleyflowers]

Sorry not 8 weeks 9 days 8 weeks 6 days

[ashleyflowers]

Also I don't remember when my period was in july i think it was june 28 through like july 3rd type of thing I actually wrote down when my period started in august.

[ashleyflowers]

My cycles are irregular about a 32 day cycle

[ashleyflowers]

The doctor says my due date is may 13th i'm just super confused

[ashleyflowers]

Please help me Annie

[ashleyflowers]

also neither of them came in me we used the pull out method each time. I have a child already with my partner, and his size is much bigger of the guy i made a mistake with. still i don't understand the ultrasounds please help me