Is he a dad

[Breeeni]

So earlier this year me and my partner had broken up for several weeks. On the 7th geb 2013 he had sex with another woman. Shes now pregnant and due 23rd oct 2013 thats the only info i know. Shes also told him that it could be other guys too. Its driving me trying to work out if the time shes due equals to the date they had aex without knowing her last period etc.
we are back together but i dont know what to do or feel atm, i love him but if hes having another womans baby im not sure if i can hang around. And we cant do an DNA test till its born.
So all im asking is, is it poss he is the father from the dates?!

[AnnieBrooke]

Breeni, you can't check websites obsessively and brood over this from July to October.  Or, well, you could, but what good would it do?  If there is no getting a DNA test until October, your wisest course for your own peace of mind is to get interested in October.  Even this other woman herself says he might not be the dad.  Why kill yourself in advance over something that might not even come to pass?  Be mad at him for wading without his Wellies if you want, be mad at him for not staying sadly home during the breakup looking at your photograph and wiping away a tear (though that really does sound like it is a little unreasonable if it really was a breakup), but don't transfer your anger at him in general into into obsessing over her due date and all.  We do see a lot, on this forum, women who don't want to have to face a bigger thing they are upset about, who instead let their upset settle on obsessive focusing on conception dates and worries.  It's easier to brood about some dates on a calendar and be mad that it is not clear, than it is to face the real thing they are worried or upset about.  But when there is no clear answer from the dates, all that does it lead to circular and obsessive mental activity over something with no answer.  Time will answer the conception question!  What you might want to do in the meantime is work with a counselor and decide what you want of the relationship, since you have a child together.

[Breeeni]

Thanks, yeah driving myslef mad, im on thousands of websites everyday checking out different dates etc...

[tes645]

Just checked back as was curious to see your responses,,, ppl say a 9 month pregnancy but it's 40 weeks so always go by weeks,,, also sperm can live inside for up to 5days , and ppl can ovulate at anytime during a month,,, so fact is dating backwards from her due date, she would have been 4weeks pregs on 13th feb but conception is usually inbetween the 4weeks . The day of conception a person is already classed as 2weeks along. But this is all based on her having a 28day cycle .. URL drive yourself mad with when if how ... Hope it works out for u. Take care.

[Breeeni]

It helps in a way, having a daughter myself i can kind of work it out. But id still want a dna test done. Because shes not responding to messages, i feel like i cant talk to him about this because women tend to know ovulation dates etc.... Thankyou anyway

[Breeeni]

Yeah it sounds to me like its gonna have to be a wait and see, shes not letting us know any other info at all.
Im livid at him we already have a daughter so this is a massive impact on all our lives. He claims it was a stupid one night thing, sleeping with other people on a break up is in no way acceptable, but i can just about get over that, its the fact he may now have a family with someone else. He finally told me 3weeks ago. Shes had normal scans up todate.

[Mrs_teddy_bear]

No way. The timing is all wrong. Feb to Oct is only 8 months. If feb the 7th is when he slept with her and her due date is in October then the baby belongs to someone else. Hope that helps.

[AnnieBrooke]

Here is what the conception calculator says for a due date of October 23.  However, it is only going to be as reliable as the method by which she got her due date.  If it was from her counting on a calendar from her last period or from a late ultrasound, this could be off by several days.

     Probable date of ovulation:  January 30
     Possible dates of conception:  January 26 to February 3

     Due date:  October 23 (40 weeks)

So as you can see, it's close but not definite, and you aren't going to be able to know until the baby is born.

It matters to know how early she got the ultrasound because if it was early in the pregnancy (6th, 7th or 8th week or thereabouts) these numbers might be off by only a day or two max, and you could feel relatively comfortable that the DNA test will show he is not the dad.  But if the ultrasound were, say, in the 20th week, the dates could be plus or minus 6 or 7 days each way.  (Babies all start out the same size but grow at different rates.)  How recently did your boyfriend get the news that he was a possibility for dad?  Does he know if the dating estimate came from an ultrasound?

Anyway, it doesn't sound like you're mad at your boyfriend for having sex when the two of you were broken up (though I might question his judgment about not using protection); it sounds like you just are unexcited about the hassles of having a boyfriend who has a newborn elsewhere who will have rights to child support, etc.; which is perfectly understandable.  But since you cannot know anything for sure until October, maybe you should just develop a couple of plans for what to do in each case (i.e., if the baby turns out not to be his, and if the baby turns out to be his).  If you enjoy him otherwise,  take advantage of the summer and have a nice time -- after all, the pregnant woman herself says there is another possibility for dad.  

My only advice is to be sure you are on the Pill or an IUD or implant, something definite.  If you get pregnant by him and the other baby turns out to be his, eesh, what a mess THAT would be.

[tes645]

Hi Hun so usually a pregnancy is calculated back to the first day of last period,,, which u don't know so if you count back to week 4  (1st day of missed period) would take it to the 13th of feb so I'd say there's a defo a good chance he's in the running as they did it during a presumed ovulation time... But unfortunately only a DNA test will tell, x