Aa
A
A
Close
Avatar universal
Paternity in question over a 5 day gap
Hi I understand the only way to be 100% sure is when a prenatal paternity test is done. Unfortunately, this option not available in my country. So I would like to know when is the most likely conception date from the following ultrasound scans as paternity is in question. Never had regular periods, so LMP cannot be determined.
Had Protected sex with my ex, guy #1 on 25th July evening 11pm. Observed unusually large amount egg white cervical mucus on the 28th July morning 4am. Had Unprotected sex on the 30th July morning 10am with guy #2 who's my bf.

Did 3 different ultrasounds by 3 different doctors within the 1st 12 weeks of my pregnancy.

1st ultrasound done on 10th Sept 2015
Was 7w5d, based on crl measurement of 13.8mm and 14.5mm.
EDD 26th April 2016
Here I was told that estimated conception date 1st Aug 2015 +- 2days

2nd ultrasound done on 16th Sept 2015
Was 8w3d +-6 days accuracy
EDD 24th April 2016

3rd ultrasound done on 9th Oct 2015
Was 12w, doctor said +-1 or 2 days is normal and would follow 24th April 2016 as the EDD even though his sonogram states EDD to be 22nd April 2016

The dates given are as such. I'm desperate to know from which partner did I conceive with. And now I'm wondering how effective is a condom if there were no breakage or slips. Hope someone can give some insight to this matter.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
25 Answers
Page 1 of 1
134578 tn?1463413330
Your boyfriend has the edge over your ex.

Your first ultrasound would be the most likely to be spot-on accurate, and it gives an estimated conception date (on the conception calculator I use) of August 4.  Even with a margin for error of +/- 1 or 2 days, and even with the long life of sperm in a woman's body, it would take a lot for the baby to be from sex on July 25.  There would have to be a condom accident AND the sperm would have to last that long and still be viable, to produce a baby.  (Is the baby a girl or a boy?)

Your second and third ultrasounds move the estimated conception dates to August 2 and July 31, respectively.  Even with the long life of sperm in a woman's reproductive tract, it is hard to make the dates stretch back to July 25.  

I believe Ravgen and the DDC have outlier labs in countries all over the world for purposes of collecting samples to send to them to do prenatal DNA tests.  Even if there is no lab in your country who does this kind of work, there might be labs with a relationship to these two labs that can draw the blood samples and send them in.  Your dates are certainly close, and if it would ease your mind and not be prohibitively expensive, you might just double-check whether one of these two labs has an outreach that can work for you where you are.

But if you cannot get this done, try to relax.  Yes, you should test once the baby is born, because the dates are so close together.  But they don't suggest your ex as much as your boyfriend.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Hi Annie, really appreciate for your prompt feedback. I see that you've been very very helpful and straightforward in all your replies in the other posts. Its people like yourself that makes the world a better and hopeful place.

Initially I agree with your opinion. 25th July to the 4th of Aug seems to be a stretch. It would probably take a supersperm to do that. But while all the online calculators I used manage to point to the conception date of 4th Aug, my first gyne managed to come up with an estimated conception date of 1st Aug instead, which is a 3 day difference. His opinion freaked me out and I started to doubt the accuracy of all my first trimester scans. Or am I too messed up to think straight?

And is there a reason for the gender for the baby? Shettles method? It's a baby boy. Could a girl make any changes to our opinion?

Also, I saw ECWM only once which was on the 28th July. Could it meant ovulation happens that day? If so, I would really be worried because my egg couldn't have survived over 48hrs for my bf's sperm.

I would have done a DNA prenatal testing if I had a choice of abortion. But it's too late now as it's illegal in my country to do abortion at my stage. Will probably wait until the birth of this child to do a paternity tests due to cost.

Really really regretted the act on the 25th July. My ex didn't remember seeing any leak or a broken condom. It was the usual way of usage. If there isn't any breakage, is there even a minute possibility that it could be the ex?
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
Hi, Faith.  There is no such thing as a "supersperm," it's an Internet chatroom invention.  I think you can be pretty confident, given all your ultrasounds.  None of your information leads to the conclusion that the sex on July 25 produced the pregnancy.

If there is no breakage from a condom, that is a good thing.  You asked if there is a "minute possibility."  Sure, there is no such thing as a 100% guarantee in anything having to do with the human body.  

I believe that the first day one sees EWCM is not the day of ovulation but the day before or even a couple of days before.

I asked about the gender because IF there was a condom accident from July 25 AND the sperm lasted until you ovulated AND you ovulated at the earliest date indicated by your ultrasounds, the male sperms still all would probably have died by then and the baby would be a girl.  Like all things with the human body, the Shettles method is not guaranteed, but it generally all seems to add up to your boyfriend and not your ex as the dad.


In your shoes, I would go through the pregnancy confident that my boyfriend has by far the best chance.  Get a DNA test with both guys after the baby is born, or with your ex only if you can't confess to your boyfriend, and put the whole question finally to rest.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Got it. So far all the consultations points towards my bf. Thank you so much for your opinion. It really helps to alleviate some 'demons' in my head. Sure hope what we predicted is the case come April. Will keep you posted by then. Have a happy 2016! :)
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
The demons are very tiresome, sweetheart; let them go to demonland, and give yourself a break.  Write back in April.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Hi Annie, hope all's well with you. I'm gonna be delivering in 2 weeks via Cesarean. Will know the results very soon. I'm a little nervous about it even though all reports points to the right guy I wanna settle with the baby.

Recently I ran an online calculator based on one of my first trimester ultrasound scans again and was just wondering how can the ovulation be on 2nd Aug when the date of conception stretches to 6th Aug? Does it mean the egg can actually survive over 4days?

The calculator I use is from the website baby2see:
First Day of Last Menstrual Period:  July 19, 2015
Probable Date of Ovulation:  August 2, 2015
Possible Dates of Conception:  July 29 to August 6, 2015
Due Date:  April 24, 2016 (40 weeks)
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
Baby2See calculates a date of ovulation based on an average cycle, and then also provides a range around that date to cover the margin for error necesitated by things like the long life of sperm in a woman's body and the fact that not everyone ovulates like clockwork two weeks after the first day of their last period.  The name they chose to use for the margin for error is "possible dates of conception."  It doesn't mean an egg survives 4 days.  Not long to wait now and you can get a DNA test.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
I see. If the dates above are conservative assumptions, then it does seem very unlikely for 25 July to mount to anything. But yes, will get a dna test done anyway for a peace (or no peace) of mind. Thanks for the clarity. May I know which online calculator do you normally use for such calculation?
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I usually look at the earliest ultrasound unless it is too early for ultrasounds to see things clearly (4th or 5th week).  If the ultrasound is from the 6th, 7th or 8th week, I ask if the estimated due date came from the markers and measurements of the baby only, or if it was affected by the woman's report to the doctor of when her last period was.  (If the woman knows what the doctor based the estimated due date on, that is.)  I don't usually even use a calculator if the doctor is merely counting forward from the first day of the woman's last period, especially if someone's cycles are irregular, I just say it can't be determined.

As long as a calculator can count back 266 days it doesn't matter which one -- I I am not suspicious of calculators' ability to count backwards accurately.  More often the problem is that the woman started with a wrong assumption, or gets to messing with "what if" scenarios that don't really fit the facts.  Calculators can't do anything to catch errors of input.  
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
I've done more than 5 ultrasounds (some by different sonographers) over the last 7mths including those mentioned above. And I have told all of them that I have irregular menses so they agreed that my LMP is unreliable to calculate EDD and could only rely on the measurements of the baby. All the estimated EDDs ranges from 23rd to the 26th of April.

If as you said, any of those online calculators are just as good then, and not one of them includes a window of opportunity for the 25th, can I say my situation is rather safe? It must be the guilt of the past that is stil haunts me till this day, so I'm looking for some assurance. :(

I see that you've always helped answer alot of "Who's the dad" questions on this forum for years. Do you get updates with the outcome often? Did you ever got any guesses wrong? What was the situation like?

Let me know if I'm intruding too much. :) Nice chatting with you!
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
Hi, Faith, please give yourself a break; you have analyzed this every way there is, and had many ultrasounds; short of a prenatal DNA test there is nothing left for you to do.  Time will tell soon enough now.  

Unfortunately, on the DNA/Paternity community women will write in a lot when they are in panic, but when the baby is born, the question is answered, and they are no longer anxious and so don't write back to say what happened.  (This would be annoying if it were a close social group, but nobody is obliged to report.)  Someone will occasionally write a note saying the guy that the dates suggested was indeed the father, but the majority don't write back one way or the other.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Hi Annie, baby was born 3weeks back and look nothing like the bf. :'( And the ex now is changing his mind to father the son, yet he doesn't want to do a paternity test. Im devastated. What should I do? Should I live as if the son is the bf? I do not have the courage to admit this to him because that will absolutely mean separation in my culture and my son will have no father figure in his life.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I wish you would stop catastrophizing this, you have a lovely son and you will not enjoy him if you can't stop obsessing.  If you think it would help, get some baby photos of your boyfriend and compare the photos to baby photos of your child.  (Photo to photo.)  It might answer the question for you.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
I am enjoying every moment with my boy for sure.

But at the back of my mind when I'm alone, I cant help thinking about the future. I went through all the baby photos of my bf. The bub looks NOTHING like the him when compared side by side. And many friends cant put a finger to who my 3weeker looks like more. So i dont think im catastrophizing my situation at all. I know you must be perplex as to how this is even possible.i wonder myself too, unless there was really a condom failure?

I do not know how to plan ahead anymore. If you were me, will you fess up or live a life assuming that the bub is the bf? Really hope to hear your opinion. I don't really have any support group for now yet.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
134578 tn?1463413330
Are you comparing the baby to the photo or are you comparing a photo of your baby to the photo of your boyfriend?    It makes a big difference.  Compare photo to photo and try to match ages (infant to infant).
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Avatar universal
It's photo to photo of the bub and the bf around the same infancy age..
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I am also a little confused, didn't you say you were going to get a DNA test after the baby was born?
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
The ex refuse to do the paternity test. The bf is still kept in the dark as to what had happened.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I rarely suggest this, but have you thought of doing a swab without him knowing?  Did the ex refuse because it was clear to him he could not be the dad?
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
How do you do a swab without the bf knowing? Also, is this a close group chat between you and me or is this open to the public? Yes it was made very clear to him with all the EDD and calculation, but he refuses to after seeing the baby photo of my son.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I don't actually know very much about how, but some of the women who have written in on the site have done so.  It might be a waste of money, though, if you don't get a clear sample.  This is a site open to the public, it is one of the reasons everyone uses avatar names.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Hi Annie, I managed to convince the ex to do a home paternity test with me last week through a lab that has a relationship with DDC in my country. And the result was exactly what we have hoped for, a negative! I can't explain how relief I am to see that!

Can I assume that home tests are as accurate as legal tests? We were witnesses to each others swaps, 5-10sec of rubbing in the checks per swap. So most certainly no fraud here. However, we didn't have the luxury of time to air dry the swaps for an hr as instructed. And I did touch one of the swaps to check whether it was dry before we placed the rest in the respective envelopes, which I know realise I shouldn't have. But DDC didn't ask for a retest,  so can I assume that little contamination didn't affect their overall reading to yield a false negative?

The past few months was the worst period of my life so I really want to finally put this matter at rest.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I believe that if the swabs are contaminated, they just ask for a retest.  They don't yield false negatives.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Avatar universal
That's wonderful to know. Thanks Annie! You've really been a great adviser.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
I'm very glad you got to test, and that it confirmed what we figured to be true.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
T3B
Hi Faith, I read all conversation between you and Annie. and i am very glad to know whatever came out finally. my very true wishes to you and your son. may God bless him.
I am just curious to know, was you only worried about not resemblance of your son to your Bf or you felt your son is look a like your ex?
I am asking you because i have been passed through this horrible phase. no resemblance is not a big deal as compare to resemblance with other guy. i hope in your case it will not.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Avatar universal
MP was March 22, 2016

Due date is Dec. 27, 2016.

I had sex with ex man #1 from April 1-3.

And had sex with man #2 April 9th.

Me and ex boyfriend dated for 4 years and tried one year to concieve with no luck, we would both be in shock and very happy if baby is in fact his.  Do you think there a a chance it could be man #2 According to the dates?  Thank you again for taking the time for this.
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
134578 tn?1463413330
Hi, Mollymom, your dates are so close together than everything depends on the precision with which your due date is computed.  

If you had a sixth-week or seventh-week ultrasound and were given the due date by the measurements of the embryo alone with no input from the first day of your last period, then conception would be estimated to have been about four days before you had sex with the second guy.  Meaning, even in the best case scenario for dating a pregnancy from an ultrasound, you are still at the thinnest of margins.

On the other hand, if the due date came from a 14th-week ultrasound or from the doctor just looking at a calendar or little wheel and computing forward from the first day of your last period, both guys are definitely in range.  (Later ultrasounds are not very precise for trying to figure out conception dates.)  

How did you get your estimated due date, and when in the pregnancy?  If you have had more than one ultrasound, have the estimated due dates always agreed?  If not, which e.d.d. was given to you the earliest?  
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
707563 tn?1455827280
Hi everyone -

Faith_K has had her questions answered so we are closing this thread. Please start your own thread to have your questions answered if you'd like.

Thanks!

Emily
Discussion is closed
Cancel
Comment
This discussion was closed by the MedHelp Community Moderation team. If you have any questions please contact us
A
A
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
DNA / Paternity Community Resources