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Paternity question
I'll try to explain this to the point:

I found out I was pregnant in February.  

Went to the dr for the first us was 8 wks 3 days edd October 11.  Went back at 18 wks 4 days same edd October 11.  Was tracking cm and did some opk but it was my first time using so idk if they will extremely right with my reading. Anyways it all adds up to ovulation on or around January 17-18.  My lmp was December 24-27 usually 35-38 days long, never been any longer.

So here is my issue, I had sex with my partner unprotected all of January but my phone says on the 14-15 17-18 and the entire week before almost everyday.

Then I had a huge mistake with someone I don't really know unprotected on the 21 but he did pull out I remember, however I know the worry of Precum but we did nothing prior and he peed.  

Do you think I should be worried? I'm considering using Ravgen for orenatal DNA but it would only be with my partner because I don't have the other persons contact.

Thanks for your help!
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Avatar universal
I also found out it's a girl if that makes a difference!
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134578 tn?1483549754
Testing with only one guy is not the best way to do it.  Like all compromises, it only works if it works.  If the woman is super anxious and then the test comes up negative, her first reaction will be to think that it might be wrong.  Women write in on this forum all the time after testing with only one man and getting a negative, demanding to know things like how accurate are these tests, how do we know the company's record is what it says, what if *her* test was the only one that was ever wrong even if the lab has a good record? etc.  This does not happen if she tests with both guys and one gets a no and the other gets a yes.

So you would be throwing your two grand into a crapshoot ... if your boyfriend comes up the dad you win, but if he comes up negative you have lost the automatic check on accuracy that comes with testing both guys.

You say testing will only be with your boyfriend "because I don't have the other persons contact."  That sounds more like you don't feel it's worth the effort than you really couldn't reach him if you had to. (What would you do about that contact thing if your boyfriend came up negative on the test?)  If you actually *could* find the guy if worst came to worst but you just don't want to have to, it sounds like you are in fact pretty confident about the situation: i.e.; that you will win the crapshoot.  If so, why pay for a prenatal test?  They are pretty expensive just to satisfy idle curiosity.  A post-natal test is a tenth the cost (and legally admissible too).  
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Avatar universal
I don't have the contact info because I don't really even know the person but I'm sure I could find a way to find him.  But that is not my biggest concern my biggest concern is do you think I need to get the test done? Or does my situation sound like I don't have a need to get the test done at this time
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134578 tn?1483549754
Your info suggests but does not guarantee that you conceived on January 18.  If you did, the guy you don't know very well was too late to have caused the pregnancy as you would have conceived three days earlier.  And the fact that it's a girl also tends to point to the earlier sex, but again the theory behind the Shettles method is not a guarantee either.

In your shoes, I would be optimistic that this is your boyfriend's baby, and go through the pregnancy assuming it, but would definitely test after the baby is born just to confirm and never have to wonder again.  (Unless of course you are rich, then by all means take the Ravgen test.  You might learn right now that your boyfriend is the dad and won't have to think about it any more.)
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134578 tn?1483549754
The reason it is not a guarantee is that you are dealing with the human body which is more an art than a science, and only three days' margin is not enough that you could truly say that the situation sounds like you don't have a need to get the test done at this time.
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Avatar universal
I am hopeful that this is the case as well.  I am not rich but really want to know now however after you saying doing the test now with one person might not be worth it maybe I should just assume all is good and test when baby is here.  It's just worrisome to think about but it's my own fault.  Thank you for your help!
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134578 tn?1483549754
I think I'd save the money for the baby and test after the baby comes.  Go to a lab in person that is approved by the family courts in your area of jurisdiction, and go with the guy you think is the baby's dad, don't send him by himself to prevent the risk that he'll send a ringer in his place.
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134578 tn?1483549754
by himself *because there is the risk that if you don't go witness him doing the swab* he could send a ringer in his place.
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Avatar universal
So I got in contact with mistake, and he said he 100% certain he did not get off inside and did not have any previous encounters that day and peed before hand which is all great but he also is willing to do the test.  Do you think I should test now or just wait it out til baby?  Is ravgen super accurate I don't want to spend he money if it's not going to be as accurate but I just want to know for sure.
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134578 tn?1483549754
It's up to you (and to your anxiety level) whether or not to test. If you do test, test with both guys. Ravgen will give you an accurate result.  Testing with both guys will give you a double-check because one will come up yes and the other will come up no.  If you are living with your boyfriend, is the need to test something he is aware of, or have you been keeping this a secret?  I don't recommend trying to keep it a secret, but if you talk to Ravgen they can tell you methods of getting a sample from your boyfriend that do not involve him knowing.
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