Prenatal paternity

[Jd01157]

Had anyone done a prenatal paternity test? I have test both dads possible and just am still worried. Please let me know experiences. I used Ravgen.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm going to cut and drop in here something I've said before.
_______

Every woman having this problem (not believing the lab results) has a different reason they are anxious.  

It could be guilt or shame over her behavior.  It could be catastrophizing, such as they are thinking if someone found out they cheated, their whole life as they know it will end and the world will explode. It could be worry they won't be a good parent, or wishing the other guy was the dad and being ashamed of it, or resentment of the father, or fear of childbirth, or feeling God will punish them, or not really wanting to be a mom, or fear of lack of money, or it could be something else entirely.

Those worries are not easy to control, especially if the problem is shame or guilt, since having cheated can't be taken back and the person just has to live with the fact that she did it. (This latter kind of lingering angst often is a specialty of women who have never had to face up to having done something 'wrong' that can't be taken back, glossed, or fixed before.)  

When such a feeling drives anxiety, the brain hates that it doesn't feel solvable. A person's mind in this kind of existential stress often lets the anxiety settle on something more cut-and-dried that to the brain feels more controllable. (Like obsessing over what if the the test is wrong.)  

No amount of rational explanations will solve worries over the tests if the worries really don't come from disbelieving the test results. If your worries come from something else, like guilt, talk to a counselor about the real fears (not about the tests) and your fears will begin to leave.  

[Jd01157]

Have you taken the test? You hwvr responded to both of my questions and I see you respond to a lot. I honestly think it is out of fear at this point. I can’t even imagine if my husband isn’t the father. It’s eating me up. I’m only 11 weeks.  The test came back as it is his and the other guy excluded. He is super excited. I can’t even be excited, I’m just scared that it can turn everything upside down. Ravgen is known to be good that’s why I used them for both test. I just read the negative feedbacks and get so scared. I can’t find any reviews really on ravgen.

[AnnieBrooke]

I answered because I am the CL of this forum (Community Leader). Ravgen is the top lab in the business of prenatal testing. Nobody has ever posted negative feedback about them in this forum (well, there was one person who posted the same story two times using exactly the same language down to the idioms, in one saying the name of one lab, the DDC, and in the other saying the name of the other, Ravgen, but since it was cut and pasted with the only difference being the names, it seemed clear the poster was a troll.)

In anxiety-driven forums like this, people get their answer and they don't come back, once they are out of fear they don't re-post. But one lady did make it a point of posting back in and saying Ravgen's test had been proven correct once the baby was born.

You tested both men. one man's positive proves the other man's negative. If something had been wrong, you would not have gotten a positive, you would have gotten two negatives.

II should not have to say this to you, you went to the best lab in the business and got a clear answer. That's why I said what i did in my last post, it's obvious that what is bugging you is not that in your heart you don't believe a legitimate medical test's results, it's that you're carrying a lot of anxiety about something else and have let it focus on not believing the test. I assume you've let it focus on your fears. Don't know what the fear is, is it that your husband might find out you cheated? Face that fear and you'll stop brooding about paternity. As you could see, it's just a placeholder for your real fear, which is harder to solve.

Please see a therapist. Nobody should be pregnant and not happy about it.

[Jd01157]

My fear is that my husband would leave me and the baby not be his. He gets so excited and he beyond the best, we just had a tough period and I did something stupid. He doesn’t know about and never wanted to tell him. This baby is what he has wanted for ever. So I get worried they are wrong and the baby would be the other persons. But you have made a lot of facts and that they did test both. It is a great company.

[Jd01157]

Yes, the anxiety has been miserable. I say it’s worse now than in then begginging as the anticipation is getting close. I have had 3D and 4D and I try and compare but that s I want even ease my anxiety.

[Anonymous0210]

Hi! I was wondering how you tested your husband without him knowing? And did you ever do a post natal test?

[Jd01157]

I USEd a toothbrush and honestly I’m freaking out right now with roughly two months left

[Dejaf1980]

Hey was wondering if when you had the baby if you ever found out if your results were accurate  or not thanks would be a great help to all of us who are scared

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Deja, like a lot of communities in MedHelp that are driven by an immediate need and high anxiety, once the people who write in get their answer, they often leave and don't stay involved with the community. Though MedHelp will notify the original poster that someone new has posted on, it's possible that JD00157 won't see it, or won't post back. (I will say, though, that a few do, and they have been really great about it.) Here's a link to one who did post back, in case you haven't seen it.  Maybe it will be helpful. -- Annie

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/DNA---Paternity/Others-who-have-taken-ravgen-prenatal-paternity-test/show/3053826#post_14474100

[AnnieBrooke]

Did you get a positive with one guy and a negative with the other? It's hard to see how two tests from a gold-standard lab could both be wrong.