Sexual intercourse from birth date

[markorn]

Hi all, I would like to know the approximate date of sexual intercourse, from the birth date: my son was born 01.26.2011 after a gestation of 36.3 weeks.

Thanks a lot!!!

[markorn]

Well, she deceived me with her ex bf that lives where she lived before marriage, and she was there, at her parents, from 05.05.2010 to 05.19.2010. That's why I am so paranoid. I love my kids so much, so I prefear to avoid DNA test. Thank you for your answer!

[AnnieBrooke]

You can still love your kids no matter what.  My husband said to me the other day, "The moment of conception is just an eye-blink compared to raising a child."  If you don't want to test, don't bother.  Just be a good father.

[AnnieBrooke]

What I am saying applies to a man who deliberately would not want to know if it means he would possibly learn he is not the biological dad.  It would not extend to be license for a woman to hide from her husband that her child was from someone else.  

[markorn]

Thanks a lot, I am the dad, I was meaning 36w 3d, and it was written by the doctor in the clinical report when the baby was born. I just knew she cheated me, so I doubt the baby is mine, we was not together from 05.05.2010 to 05.19.2010.... I am so scared! Please help me!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

IF the doctor was totally correct in knowing for sure that the baby was at 36w 3d (to know this, you would need to know how the doctor got that figure -- was it counted forward from an early ultrasound in the mom's 7th week?  That would be helpful.  Was it from a late ultrasound in her 24th week?  That would be useless), anyway, if the 36w 3d number is right, the baby would have been conceived May 30.  Which means you have been "so scared" for nothing.  (Are you sure you are the dad?  That "I am so scared! Please help me!!!!" sounds much more like the young moms who write into DNA/Paternity than any guy who ever wrote in.)

But anyway, if the doctor's facts are straight and the baby was really 36+ weeks GA when born, you don't have anything to worry about.  (Except to worry about why you are being so paranoid.  In this day and age of DNA tests, there is no reason to be paranoid.)

Speaking to you first as though you are the guy in the situation ---
With nothing to go on besides your instincts, if you are entirely sure she cheated on you, do keep in mind that cheating can happen when the guy is around, it is not limited to sometime he is gone.  So, nothing about the story proves much in terms of who is the father.  (What it does suggest to me, however, is that you are the woman in the story and know you cheated in that time period and are trying to rule it out.  A guy paranoid his wife or girlfriend had cheated would not usually be limiting his worries to a specific 14-day period of time.  He would be paranoid about what might have happened any time he was at work.)

If you *are* the woman in the situation and you cheated from May 5 - 19, the time period you have to worry about for conception is May 5 - May 24 or so.  This means that what the doctor wrote on the report shouldn't scare you.  The GA count begins two weeks before presumed conception, meaning you would have conceived (if the doctor's assumption of 36w3d is right!) on May 30.
Early ultrasounds that give a due date are often carried forward in the pregnancy by the doctor to count out the GA, so what was the very first ultrasound you had, and what estimated due date were you given from that?  Later ultrasounds are unhelpful for this purpose because they get less accurate over the course of the pregnancy.  So the question is, did the doctor get the 36w 3d count from counting forward from a nice, useful ultrasound in your seventh week?  Or did the doctor just look at a little cardboard wheel and determine from your last period when you were due?  If it's the latter, you have no way to know if the doc's estimate of 36w 3d is close enough to correct to rule out the dates of May 5-24.  Meaning you don't have any way to know from any of this if the baby came from the cheating or not.  This doesn't mean you can't find out from your doctor what your earliest estimated due date was, but it might be hard at this late date to get this information.

SO, long story short, if the doctor's estimate of how far along the baby was is wrong (or you don't have any way to know after all this time), get a DNA test done.  You can buy them at Walgreen's.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, do you mean 36.3 weeks, or 36 weeks, 3 days? (These would be different, since decimals are not 1/7th but 1/10th.)  How do you know the gestation was that length of time?  Babies often go longer than that.  Did the doctor say the baby was early?

[AnnieBrooke]

Is it that you were told the baby was born early and you are wondering if that is really true?  If you were told this by a doctor, I wouldn't fret.  If you were told this by your wife and are fretting about it, just computing dates by counting back from when the baby was born is not going to clarify things, because babies do sometimes come early.  She might be telling you correctly.

One way you could tell is if you have copies of the medical records from your wife's first ultrasound (especially if it was in the first trimester), and if those records from when she was early in the pregnancy give an estimated due date or (EDD) for the baby.  If that record offers an upcoming due date that didn't end up being correct (if it gave a date other than when the baby was actually born), that would give a clue to whether the baby came early or not based on what was expected from the baby's size and developmental markers early in the pregnancy.

If you don't have access to those records any more, do you remember if, at the time the baby was born, your wife and the doctor and her mom were all surprised and commenting how unexpected it was that the baby came so early?  

I'm just trying to trace why you say so specifically that the baby was "36.3 weeks gestation."  Who said so?

if you are concerned about the baby's paternity, you can do a DNA test.  Home kits that you mail in to the lab are available at pharmacies like Walgreen's.

[AnnieBrooke]

Actually, though I wrote this assuming you were the dad from your user name, if you are the mom and are just nervous, the advice still applies to look at an ultrasound done early in the pregnancy for its EDD, and see if it points to the time the baby was born or earlier or later.  It's not like doctors pick up the newborn after delivery and look at a tag on its forehead and say, "Oh, this baby was 36.3 weeks gestation," so I'm wondering if you need to check that assumption.