Stressed About Paternity & Results of Non-Invasive Prenatal Test

[SuperStressedOutMama2014]

Hi. I am so stressed. Not to mention embarrassed :( So thank you in advance for taking a look at this question.
1st day last period 2/25--I have a pretty regular 28 day cycle
Sex with regular partner on 3/3 CD7
Sex with regular partner on 3/6 CD10
Sex with regular partner on 3/14 CD18
Regular partner ejaculated in me each time.
On 3/14 (2AM ish) I had sex with a 2nd partner--very drunk and stupid, it was very brief, he did not ejaculate in me, or at all for that matter and had not had any prior ejaculations that evening--it just kind of  ended.
On 3/21, 7 days later, I had a positive home pregnancy test from the Dollar Store with first morning urine and an EPT Digital with first morning urine (I saved a cupful). Then confirmed it with a doctor later that day. All tests (except the digital obviously) were faint, but definitely positive.

I know one can get pregnant from pre-ejaculate, no doubt about it, though it is not as common if there were no prior ejaculations preceding it--from what I have researched.

Anyways, knowing that the dates are very close, I did conduct a non-invasive prenatal paternity test very early on (the lab approved it earlier than even their published dates as they say they only need a small sample for paternity testing). I swabbed partner B the drunk mistake--it came out as not a match, but they did have me do a blood re-draw the following week for confirmation. In this time frame, I was able to obtain a discreet sample from the regular partner (I swapped a wine glass per directions from the testing lab). With this 2nd test the discreet sample was a match in 29/29 markers (3 additional markers also appeared to be a match but very faint so the doctor wouldn't call it)--so non-invasive prenatal paternity test came out in favor of regular partner at a 99.9% match.

Is there anyway this test could be wrong? I am trying to stop worrying. I've discussed this with the lab many times (I am sure I am driving them crazy). So stressed out that it's all wrong for some reason.

Also, I had an ultrasound on 12 week 1 day from my LMP. The ultrasound measurements dated me at 13 weeks 1 day--though they did not change my due date (which is 12/2). I did not have an earlier ultrasound--it did not seem like an ultrasound would have helped me establish dates any better. CD18 seems late in my usually 28 day cycle to ovulate--which is why I didn't even think about taking Plan B, but looking back at fertility windows it appears CD 18 wouldn't be out of the question. I was wondering if the 13 week vs 12 week dating lends even further support that I likely conceived based on sex on 3/6 (I am guessing I got pregnant after ovulating a few days later?)

All that combined with the non-invasive prenatal paternity test from Ravgen should I just calm down and put this behind me? Just can't stop thinking about it and am trying not to bother the lab yet again. Would love some opinions. Thank you.

[Jazzmen4710]

Plz comment on my post lmp vs gestional age.  

[SuperStressedOutMama2014]

Ravgen really is the best. As I've mentioned I've researched them and the testing extensively and I definitely wouldn't trust anyone but Ravgen or the DDC. I am simply being paranoid because non-invasive prenatal paternity testing is relatively new compared to other forms of prenatal paternity testing--but this IS the lab who basically created the accurate way to make the tests work. I know, I know! I am just unnecessarily paranoid--I would make the same recommendation to anyone. I know, those poor people who answer the phone! They are all so incredibly nice and respectful of such a sensitive situation too. I don't know why I am freaking out so much. Maybe the hormones :-)

Thanks for all of the time you've taken to provide honest, detailed feedback. I truly appreciate it.

[AnnieBrooke]

Ah, sorry, I see that you wouldn't have had much time to get more than one e.d.d.  You might keep this inquiry in mind for the future.  But please do yourself a favor (and the poor person at the Ravgen lab whose job it is to field phone calls from freaked-out clients) and stop doubting the test you had.  It is the best in the world.

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't put much store in 12th-week ultrasounds when it comes to dating pregnancy.  The possible margin for error is said to be as wide as +/- 7 days by then, so how accurate is the date they supposedly show?

Just like the fact that an early ultrasound trumps the date of the last period for accuracy, a Ravgen test trumps counting out dates.  You had the best DNA test in the world.  You don't need to parse dates.  :)

If you still want something to obsess about, compare all the estimated due dates you have ever been given, and make a chart.  Has the doctor told you different estimated due dates over time?  If so, do they reflect that the baby is growing faster or more slowly than average?  If they have stayed exactly the same, that would suggest the margin for error at 12 weeks is less than 7 days.  

Take care, you sound like you have zero to worry about in terms of paternity, except what to do if all of this testing ever comes to light to your regular partner.

[SuperStressedOutMama2014]

Thanks for your thoughtful feedback. I have absolute confidence in partner 2--he has a lot to lose if mistake were to surface and is a very good friend of mine. Thank you for the reassurance about the test-- I know I'm being probably being silly. They are a very trustworthy and esteemed lab --I've done a TON of research on the subject. And I do have people I can talk to and have a counseling appointment coming up soon. I will be sure to raise the issue because you make some great points . I am working on the relationship with the partner, it's a long story, but I really don't feel guilty about the "mistake" night--I know that sounds strange, but I wasn't cheating at all, there was no betrayal of my partner. It would raise different issues if I discussed with my partner which is why I have not done so. I am just paranoid that I am impacting someone's life so much that I want to make sure it's all not for a mistake--hope that makes sense and no one will question me as I won't be going into all the details here!  

I'll do my best to be confident in the test results. Out of curiosity, testing aside, what would be your opinion based on the dates (the intercourse , pregnancy test and ultrasound dating)? I always wondered if I had conceived on my cd18 and tested positive for pregnancy 7 days later if that was too early to get a positive test result? Also with the 12 week 1 day ultrasound dating at 13 weeks 1 day--wasn't sure if that lent further support to the timing of conception resulting from the earlier cd10 encounter? Just wondering if I can potentially build a case in my own mind to further support the test. Thanks again, and yes I will be going to counseling and thinking through what you said!

[AnnieBrooke]

If you had done your non-invasive paternity test with some flakey Internet outfit out of Canada or something, I'd still tell it sounds OK because you tested both men, but otherwise would suggest you use a better lab.  But you tested with Ravgen, one of the two absolute best labs for this kind of test.  I don't think they have ever had anyone come back at them and say the test had proven to be wrong.  I think you should trust their results.

I do have a question, though, about the deep secrecy here, taking a sample off a wineglass and all.  That implies that you feel that you absolutely CANNOT talk to your regular partner about this.  But if you tested with the other guy, unless he was unconscious when he had the blood draw, don't you think the secret will sooner or later come out?  Guys aren't too great at keeping a juicy thing like having to take a DNA test to themselves, they will always tell a buddy or something, or tell a girlfriend sometime in the future.  What will happen if the father of your child gets wind that long ago you tested some other guy to be sure of the baby's paternity?  If you don't think you can possibly tell him, that is your call, but I would talk to a counselor about what you will say some time in the future if your boyfriend hears about this in a roundabout way.  Obviously this is not a problem if you don't think you'll still be with that boyfriend in the future, but otherwise, I'd give the idea some thought.  (And by the way, if you do ever wind up confessing to him that you tested some other guy, I don't recommend you also telling him that you secretly tested him.  The fact of having had a drunken lapse is one thing, but the fact of sneaking around behind your regular partner's back who trusts you, to get the second test, well, that might sit poorly with him.  He'll feel like you were trying to fool him about something important.)

Obviously you're trying to hide that you had a drunken lapse, I get it.  And you feel that if the baby is not from the drunken lapse, you don't have to tell.  But the stress is killing you, and your doubts and all the calls to the lab and stuff are probably coming from the stress of hiding this, not from any true doubt that the lab made a mistake.  Calling the lab won't ease the stress of hiding this.  For that, you've got to talk to a counselor.

My advice to women who find out the answer they want and don't want to ever, ever tell the guy that there was even a question, but it's killing them, is to either tell sometime (it doesn't have to be until the baby is born if you know the right guy is the dad), and to offer a DNA test then, or to atone for your silence by making the dad the happiest guy in the world forever.

[SuperStressedOutMama2014]

Hi Annie--if you get a chance during your one time a day check in I would love your feedback! You seem to be the go-to girl on this subject and your honest opinion would mean a lot. Thanks!

[SuperStressedOutMama2014]

Thank you! I need all the support I can get to calm down. :)

Just so stressed out....if anyone else has any thoughts--even if it's that you think I have cause to worry, please let me know.

[lianaMaria]

Ima maternity nurse and by looking at your story. Most likley the test id accurate. It also isnt very likley that u got pregnant do quickly with the second partner. Hope this is good news for u. Enjoy and relax this moment in life and congrats!