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This is long but it's making me PHYSICALLY sick...
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This is long but it's making me PHYSICALLY sick...

I'm 16 almost 17 weeks pregnant. I am unsure about who my baby's father is between 2 men. Here's my situation:

My HUSBAND left me Sept 18 2012 with no words spoken while I lay asleep in our bed asleep having just BURYING my FATHER earlier that very day. Eventually he spoke with me an said he left for Washington State(we live in KY)and that he didn't wanna be with me anymore.

After getting over the initial shock a male friend and I had been getting together and talking since right after hubby left me. Talking. That's it, UNTIL.....well we ended up having sex for the first time(unprotected)October 26 and again on November 5 unprotected as well using the "no fail" pull out method...STUPID. YES I KNOW THIS.

My hubby came back and outta the blue I took him back and we decided to try to work things out. Our first time back together having sex was on November 8 and from there on out we had sex nearly everyday several times a day unprotected. I realized or so I THOUGHT I didn't have a period yet for month of November - my last period was in Oct but no clue when - my cycles are SO irregular. Sometimes I will have 2 periods a month.

I can't remember having a period in Nov but everything seems a blur after losing my dad, husband leaving and grieving so much. According to my u/s when I went in so they could date my pregnancy the tech confirmed I was 8 weeks pregnant and due on Aug 8 2013. So according to their charts I should've had last period beginning date of Nov 1st and conception being Nov 15.

Which man would be more apt to have fathered this child I'm pregnant with? Hubby or my good friend? It's so close I'm so sick about this and not sure how off an early ultrasound can be. Can it be a week or 2 off? Or just a few days off...or right on the money practically?

Hubby is aware of the situation and knows its a chance the other man could be this baby's dad. DNA testing will no doubt probably have to be done. Any opinions or answers on my situation would be very appreciated. Hubby walked out on me again Fri night so I'm feeling pretty sad and down on top if my mind racing over this dilemma I put myself in:(
6 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
8 week 0 days, on what date?  In answer to your question, that should be at max only a day or two off or even spot-on, because it's so early.  All the info you've given suggests it is your husband's baby.
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Avatar_f_tn
The u/s technician dated my due date of August 8th 2013 when I went in for my appt on January 2.
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Avatar_f_tn
It's so close the time frame of sexual encounters with both men. My good friend and I slept together for te last time on Nov 5 & my hubby and I slept together from Nov 8 on. That's only 3 days in between men for the month of November.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Here is what the conception calculator says for a due date of August 8.  Even if there are only three days between the men, it also has to be at your ovulation time for you to get pregnant, and it simply looks like the guy who was with you from November 8 on was the only possibility given your ultrasound measurements.  Sperm doesn't live long enough in your system to last from the 5th of November to the 15th, or even the 14th or 13th (assuming the ultrasound was a day or two off, which is unlikely in this case because of how early it was.)

Probable date of ovulation:  November 15, 2012
Possible dates of conception:  November 11 to November 19, 2012
Due date:  August 8, 2013 (40 weeks)
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you SOOOOOO, SOOOOO much for responding to my situation. You've made me feel ALOT better about it. I just don't remember EVER having a period in November and I most DEFINITELY know I WAS NOT having my period the date according to the conception calendar says I should have. I only remember having one in October but thought it was around the 21st or 22nd of that month but the u/s tech said there was NO WAY I was correct on when my last period was otherwise I woulda been 10 weeks and 2 days(gestational age)and the baby wasn't measuring that far ahead. She said if I was right it would've had arms and legs sprouted at 10 weeks. Do you agree with that? Then I will let it rest and leave this post alone:)
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134578_tn?1404951303
If your cycles are irregular, especially if they are "SO irregular," the period given on a conception calculator (which is imputed from the size of the embryo) will not necessarily match when your period was.  So what.  The ultrasound sees the actual embryo.  It measures the embryo.  From those measurements, it says when conception probably was.  From that implied conception day, it counts back two weeks, to get at an implied first day of your last period.  But for a woman who ovulates (to take an extreme example --) five weeks after her last period, although the conception date will be accurate, the last period date will not be.  So don't let that throw you off.  

You had an ultrasound early enough for it to be quite accurate.  It was nice of the ultrasonographer to say what she did, but it's really a waste of your time or hers or mine to speculate about what you would have been seeing if things were further along; we could speculate that if you had been 39 weeks, you would have seen a full-term baby -- what good would it do to have that conversation?  I think you should believe what the professional ultrasonographer, who was there on the spot and doing her job, saw and told you.  She is the one with the training and the experience, don't try to second-guess her on the Internet.  (I've heard it said that when a doctor hears a patient say "I read on the Internet ..." he hears, "I read on the you- don't-know-what-the-****-you're-doing ...")  Don't worry.  You'll be able to confirm things again at your next ultrasound and your next.

Good luck!

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