Trying to find out if i could be the father

[jbone37]

Hi so I have a bit of a difficult question here. Me and my ex had intercourse on the 16th or 17th of January and she was due on the 25/10 but the baby has still not come yet. she got her period on the 20/1 so 2 or 3 days after we had unprotected intercourse. this is the only time we had intercourse so my question is could I be the father?

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm glad you're confident in that.  Please be serious about that other thing, too, condom use.  Other things that are much worse than being a father can come from having unprotected sex.

[jbone37]

ok thanks I am now 100% confident that I cannot be the father thanks

[AnnieBrooke]

The question of whether one's sperm can live through a period and get someone pregnant after the period ends doesn't actually make sense, because things don't happen that way.  But for your future knowledge (and because lots of guys who read this forum feel their sperm is invincible), here you go.  

Sperm can live, in a favorable environment, for maybe five or six days (though some research casts doubt on the strength of 6-day old sperm... it still has to break through the tough coating of the egg to make an embryo).  This is one of the many important reasons to wear a condom.  If a woman has irregular cycles, she can't know when her next ovulation will come, and sperm can last several days and get a woman pregnant if she ovulates within that time.  

However, a woman only ovulates once a month and the egg (unlike sperm) has a short life, 24 to 36 hours.  Though the run-up to ovulation can vary in duration, ovulation leads the next period by about two weeks, according to research..

Therefore if this woman had sex with you and two days later got her period, by definition and research, she was not ovulating when you had sex.

Regarding whether sperm could outlast a period, probably not.  A period takes usually 4 or 5 days.  Women don't ovulate during menstruation, they ovulate two weeks before it.  Therefore, if the sex were two days prior to a period and the period came, by the time the period was over and a new ovulation might occur, any sperm from before the period would be dead.  

Now, advice -- don't keep trying to find a scenario in which you are the dad, drumming up stories in which the wrong guy raises the child, feeling bad for the other guy (who seems to be the father), and listening to some chick you know instead of some doctor you know.  This doesn't pencil out to you as dad, and isn't worth any more of your emotional energy.  Take it as a learning experience, feel bad if you like that you won't be a dad, but please don't go on about it (or especially, plague the woman about it -- she is in late pregnancy, an emotional time, and she has already told you she doesn't think you're the father.  Trust her on this.)

Try to relax, try to let it go.  And for heaven's sake, don't go wading without your Wellies any more.    

[jbone37]

one last questions is it possible that sperm can live through the period so if we had sex before and then she had her period could she get pregnant while on her period if the sperm stayed in her for a few days? or would the sperm get come out when the period starts? as I did ejaculate in her. Sorry for my ignorance.

[jbone37]

yeah that's what I was thinking and going by dates she would have had to have sex between the 20th/1 - 4/2 for her due date to be 25/10 and we slept together on either 17th 18th or 19th. she still has not had him yet. so I'm sure he's her ex's. I just would feel bad for him if he raised a kid and it wasn't his I know how bad I would feel if it happened to me. she said if he looks like me then we will get a dna just to be safe. thanks

[AnnieBrooke]

The woman who is going to have the baby will have done a lot of figuring.  It sounds like you are out of the picture, and if you were even somewhat likely to have a chance, she would have told you.  Try not to let this get you all lathered up, you don't sound like the dad.  It sounds like you had sex too early to get her pregnant, by at least a couple of weeks.

As I said before, get the DNA test if you would like, but it really does not sound like you're on the short list.

[jbone37]

ok thanks that's kinda good to hear

[AnnieBrooke]

Your chick friend can say whatever she wants, but one does not ovulate two days right before one's period.  It really does lead the period by two weeks.

Get the DNA test, but it doesn't sound like the baby is yours.

[jbone37]

Hey its weird tho my chick friend she had her period after she fell pregnant so wouldn't that mean it is possible? she also said that right before her period she ovulates for like a day or 2 ? thanks for your advice

[jbone37]

Thanks she was also seeing her ex a little bit at the same time she thinks that he will be his kid. I just wanna know and do the right thing if he is mine id feel bad for the other guy if he is not his son and he has him for years and doesn't know.

[TiffanyMarieAmore]

For your sake, even if the baby does look like you, get a DNA. My little cousin who I thought was my blood cousin turned out not to be. He looked just like my uncle at birth but wasn't his im not trying to upset you but you need to know for sure wether or not you have to take care of this child for the next 18 years

[Peachy1584]

If she bled after conception then it's not a period. Bleeding after conception can happen for many reasons such as implantation or a sch. Actually getting a period means you are not pregnant and would shed the contents of the uterus. If I were you I would invest in a DNA test.

[Jenstan35]

Ovulation occurs approximately 14 days before a period begins. So sex 2-3 days before a period would likely not cause pregnancy. Sounds like there are enough questions to simply get a DNA test after the baby is born. Do it right away to be fair to all involved, especially the baby who didn't ask for any of this...

[jbone37]

Thanks for replying so do you think it's possible if we had intercourse on the 17th and she had her period on the 20th as it was our only time and it was unprotected ? She was seeing another guy too she told me so we are not sure. My friend had her baby and a week after intercourse she had her period. And my friend told me u ovulate right before you get your period aswell is that true?

[jbone37]

Yeah I do know that but I thought if you get a period after there is not a big chance we only had intercourse once. But my chick friend did get her period once after she had intercourse that's all. She said she will see what he looks like when he comes out if she's not sure who's he looks like we will get a DNA test

[jbone37]

My chick friend got her period after she was pregnant with her first child that's why I'm worried. We only slept together once but didn't use protecting. She was seeing another guy apparently she things its his but she not sure

[bonitagirl747]

My last cycle started on or around 01/25 and my offical due date is 11/01. If her due date is 10/25, then she would have gotten preg before me. I know I concieved around the first week of feb when I ovulated after my cycle started. It was around super bowl sunday. Every woman can be a little different as far as when they ovulate, average is 14 days after the first day of their cycle. Some ovulate earlier or later. Im earlier. If you have any of the early ultrsound pics, look at them and see if it says EDD and a date after that. It would be her estimated due date based on baby's measurments early on, those tend to be more accurate than later ultrasounds. That may give you a clue to when conception happened. Best of luck and Im sorry you feel you can not trust her. Thats never a good feeling.

[slm39]

If you've had unprotected intercourse, then there's ALWAYS a chance you've made someone pregnant. Women can still bleed after conception. You're going to need a DNA test.

[gugu2010]

Ask her.
you can go up to 3 weeks past babies due date.
when baby is born you can do a dna test secretly online sending hair samples.

[T_marie85]

Not if she got her period after u had sex...