Urgent help needed - Dad of the baby - pregnant and in total depression

[Ashvi2601]

Hi Annie,
Hi Annie,

Am so glad for this site and would really be grateful to you if you could solve my situation.  Am from India.  Am pregnant for 6W and 2days now.  My hubby and I are living away from each other due to professional reasons.  I have a boy friend and we had sex on the 29th Dec or so.  My hubby was here on vacation on the 3rd Jan till 8th Jan and I had sex with my hubby.  After he has gone, I again had sex with my BF during the week of the 12th Jan.  I now want to  know whose baby is this.  I have very irregular periods and really cant go with the exact date I ovulated.  I did a vaginal scan (because had a spot bleeding) on the 29th Jan and as per the scan it was 5W and 2D.  I read that have to sub 2 weeks from the scanning date.  That said, am getting convinced that this might be my hubby's kid but am very worried and scared.  Please help me on this.  I am really banking on your reply.

[AnnieBrooke]

One last thing, here in the U.S. there are over-the-counter DNA tests that can be purchased at Walgreen's and other drugstores (if India uses the British terminology, that would be called a chemist).  I have not heard any comments about how reliable they are, but if they were truly awful, I think people would be saying so online.  If such things are also available in India, in your shoes I would consider having your boyfriend and you and the baby do swabs and mail them in for analysis once the baby is born, just to determine once and for all that he (the boyfriend) is not the father.  Your dates line up to your husband but your margins are rather slim, and it would be both an emotional and a moral issue if you never went to the step of being absolutely certain.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that the way it works is that if you log in to the site from a laptop or desktop, you can attach all the pictures you want, but if you're working from a phone it is not possible.  However, MedHelp has been working really hard to update so all the most popular features are available to handheld users, so this may be old information.  That all said, your doctor or ultrasound tech will be able to tell you pretty instantly what the gender is at the time, unless the baby is hiding behind his or her hands or umbilical cord.  

[Ashvi2601]

AWESOME..! Thank u so very much.. am so relieved .. Of course.  I told him and he knows that I want to live a happy life ahead with my husband and he is ok with it. He would be getting maried sooner though.  Do we have an option to attach pics in this website, if so, I could attach the scan report (May be 15th week or so) and get to knw whether its a boy or a girl..!

[AnnieBrooke]

It would be too early to know if the baby is a boy or girl.  I get a conception date of 5 of January for that due date.  It does sound like you dodged a bullet there.  The question is, what does this mean regarding your boyfriend?  I assume you are breaking it off?

[Ashvi2601]

Thanks Annie.  The exact due date is 28th Sept 2015 and they say the conception date might be on the 7th or the 8th Jan.  I will also post the scan report and the scan itself, please let know whether its a boy or a girl baby.  Am super eager to know that,  

[AnnieBrooke]

See the following article for information on the reliable labs that do this kind of testing.  I wouldn't recommend any others, there are some very bad outfits advertising this kind of test that are known to make a lot of errors.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/20/health/paternity-blood-tests-that-work-early-in-a-pregnancy.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

The two labs mentioned here do the test by a blood draw from the woman (her arm) and I believe a swab from the man.  This is nothing like an amniocintesis, which does carry risks.  The costs would be available on the websites of the companies named.

[Ashvi2601]

Thank you so much Annie.
I will go with an Ultrasound Scan tomorrow and keep you posted.  How about Pre birth DNA tests..? Seems like that might create miscarriages?  Shall I do it in India.? Please throw some lights and thanks a ton for your reply.
Any idea on the costs?

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Ashvi, you are correct about subtracting the two weeks and do sound like you had the lucky window, conceiving on or near January 6.  If that is accurate, it would be just late enough after the sex with your boyfriend that all of his sperm would have likely died, and just early enough to still be from your husband before you and your boyfriend had sex again.  I would certainly get another ultrasound (this week or next at the latest) to confirm the due date they have given you, and be sure they do so based not on when your last period was, but on the measurements of the embryo and its developmental markers.  You could even tell them that because your periods are so irregular, you don't want that date (the first day of your last period) to be in the computation at all.

Given how important this is, before you would abort (unless your marriage is on the rocks anyway) I would recommend getting a prenatal paternity test from Ravgen or the DDC with your boyfriend. Your dates are all so close together that it is going to be an anxious pregnancy otherwise.  It is an expensive test, but those two labs are reliable, and perhaps he can help you pay for it.  That way if you do intend to stay in your marriage, you will know the answer.

[Ashvi2601]

Am awaiting your reply on this.  Looking forward for a solution.  If its not my hubby's baby, then I should probably abort this.  Pleaseeee help!!!