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What process do I have to go through to do a paternity test?
I had sex with someone August 25-26 but he did not ejaculate inside of me. I also had sex with someone else August 30th and he did ejaculate inside of me. I started my period around August 15. What are your thoughts? My OBGYN said the chances of someone pulling out getting me pregnant is very low, I am going with August 30th.
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134578 tn?1483549754
Edenlove, if the guy you had sex with on August 25-26 had recently ejaculated, he could have had live sperm in his urethra, which could have ridden down his penis into your body on the pre-ejaculatory fluid that all men have when they get an erection. A guy ejaculates millions of sperm at a time, it's not surprising that some of them stay around in the urethra for a while. If the guy who pulled out knows for ABSOLUTE SURE that he had not had an ejaculation within, say, a day, or that he had peed many times in the meantime, then maybe there is a chance you could rule him out. But so many women have written into this site saying they got pregnant even though their partner did not ejaculate, you can't rule out the possibility just because he didn't come. (The odds are lower, just not zero.) If some of the first guy's sperm made it into your body, it only takes one to find the egg.

What you need to do is consider other factors, not just whether he ejaculated or not, but also how regular your cycles are and how long (the whole month -- like 28 days exactly between periods? Or does it vary?) You need to consider your due date is and when the doctor thinks you conceived. Have you had an ultrasound yet, and did the doctor tell you a due date from the information in the scan? (From the crown-to-rump measurement of the embryo, not from the first day of your last period.)  A woman with regular cycles every 28 days like clockwork can assume she ovulates around day 14. But a woman with variable lengths of cycles (sometimes 22 days, sometimes 29 days, sometimes 31 days etc.) will not be able to use the first day of her last period to tell her when she might have ovulated. A woman ovulates 14 days before her next period, not 14 days after her last period, so if your cycles don't fit the average length, you need information from an ultrasound to figure things out.
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134578 tn?1483549754
ps -- if you haven't gotten an ultrasound yet, get one. And ask the doctor to tell you the baby's estimated due date without making assumptions based on what the first day of your last period was, but just to use the baby's measurements and developmental markers only. Then take the due date home and put it into an online conception calculator (or just count back 266 days on a calendar) and it will give you an estimated date of conception.
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I went to the doctor today and the ultrasound said 8 weeks, and that had conceived the 29th of August.
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134578 tn?1483549754
The ultrasound said you conceived August 29?
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134578 tn?1483549754
Did the ultrasound say 8 weeks 0 days? That would not match a conception date of August 29 if you had the ultrasound today (October 12).
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No, the doctor only told me that i was 8 weeks. And I asked when I would've conceived and she said the 29th of August. I went to see the doc October 11.
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My due date is may 23rd.
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134578 tn?1483549754
Is this date given to you by the doctor looking at the ultrasound, or from you doing a calculation based on the weeks you were told?
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The date was given by the doctor.
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134578 tn?1483549754
Hm. Well, the estimated date of conception for a  May 23 due date is August 30. I wonder where your doctor got the date of August 29.

Not that it matters very much, the dates of the sex are so close together that if there had been any sperm from the first guy, it would have still been alive in your body when you had sex with the second guy. Too bad the ultrasound didn't say something like a conception date of September 2, then you could be sure the dad was the second guy.

All you can do at this point is a DNA test. You can do one prenatally for a big chunk of money, or after the baby comes for about a tenth as much. If you do a prenatal test, don't use one of the Internet cheapie so-called "labs," use either Ravgen or the DDC. And test with both guys -- we get letters here all the time from someone who has only tested with one guy and gotten a negative, and then worries that the test was not wrong. One guy getting a positive and one guy getting a negative tends to prove the results.

I'm sorry, but really only a DNA test will tell. The sex was too close together and right in the time zone of ovulation, and pulling out is not proof against pregnancy.
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Thanks for all of your input. I appreciate it.
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134578 tn?1483549754
typo above -- women test with only one guy, he is ruled out, then they brood and worry that possibly the test was wrong.

Testing with both guys, one gets a yes and the other gets a no, and their tests confirm each other's results. So when you do test (either during the pregnancy or when the baby comes) test with both men. Everyone deserves that level of certainty.

Good luck, I am sorry everything didn't point to a date that was obvious, such as much earlier or much later.
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