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confused about paternity
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confused about paternity

hi, just needed some clarity... my son is gonna be five months in a couple of days, not proud of but i have two persons who believe that they are the dad, however, no supports, on the 8th of december 2011, i had sex weith my now ex boyfriend of two years, looking back, i had a slight period on the 12th december, lasted two days, i  haev a 32 days cycle, prior to that my last period was the 10th of nov, on the 2nd of december i had sex withmy ex husband three years after we split, on the 21st of jan 2012 i was positive on the 11th of feb my first ultra sound read, 6 weks and some days, i did an ultrasound in march minus the LMP date of 12/12/12 and it measure 14 weeks and some days, the sonographer gave a conception date of 12/12/11, bothmen want p[aternitydone, i dotn want it be my ex husband's, cld anyone tell me what they think,im depressed ove this whole situation. the google claculator shows my ex husband as closer to my son's birth date of 27/09/12.
Tags: paternity
14 Comments Post a Comment
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2086677_tn?1372515035
humm its hard to say with out the test to show who is the dad.i dont know if the drug store were u live sells the over the counter dna test but its a test u can bye at the drug store to test to see who is the dad and u do it at home.i think its like 50dollars.to get it off your mind and everyone else the best thing to do is get a dna done good luck hope it all works out for u
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13167_tn?1327197724
It's so hard to calculate this,  because the dates are kind of all over the map.  It sounds like you might have been several weeks overdue when the baby was born?

DNA test is the only way to know.  The dates don't match up from what I can tell.
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3145189_tn?1343161021
I wouldn't do the DNA test from the drug store.  I've heard a few bad results from them.  Opt to do the DNA as believe it or not, you'll find relief in the answer.  You'll know who needs to be helping at the very least.  Pat yourself on the back, you stepped up and you have two jerks that won't!  If I'm reading correctly you had sex 6 days within each other - which would make it impossible to tell without.  
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134578_tn?1404951303
The short answer is that if a sonographer told you a conception date (not a gestational age), it should be rather reliable.  But are you sure the sonographer knew you were asking about the conception date?  They usually give you a date based on the first day of your last period, which of course is not a conception date.

If you want I can help you count back.   It sounds like you are saying the following, please correct any of it:  

"last period was the 10th of nov," -- do you mean November 10 was the first day of your last period?  Or did it end then?

"On the 2nd of december i had sex withmy ex husband"

"on the 8th of december 2011, i had sex weith my now ex boyfriend"

"i had a slight period on the 12th december, lasted two days"

"On the 21st of jan 2012 i was positive" [I assume you mean on a home test?]

"on the 11th of feb my first ultra sound read, 6 weks and some days" -- how many days?  This ultrasound will be the one that is MOST helpful for dating.

"i did an ultrasound in march minus the LMP date of 12/12/12" (what does minus the LMP date of 12/12 mean?)

... "and it measure 14 weeks and some days"  -- how many days?

"the sonographer gave a conception date of 12/12/11"

"my son's birth date of 27/09/12"

I think it sounds like it is more possibly your ex boyfriend's than your ex husband's child.  Please fill in the questions above and let's see if we can come up with some reassurance so you can get your DNA test done.
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Avatar_f_tn
sorry annie, had some typo... i had sex with my ex boyfriend on the 8th of december, 2011, my period came or what i thought was a period on the 12th of december, i then had sex with my ex husband on the 2nd of january 2012... to find out the sonographer would say about the conception date, i did not give her what i thought was my last menstrual date of 12/12/11, her response was the 12/12/11.... annie i  am very worried cause i reallydont want my son to be my ex husband's, my OB when i discussed the matte with him he told me that it more looks like my ex husband's because i would've been ovulating by then.

when i did the ultrasound in March it read age by ultrasound... 14 weeks 4 days..... thanks alot
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Avatar_f_tn
sory nicole..some typo there... had sex with the now ex boyfriend on the 8th december, 2011 nad sex with the ex husband on the 2nd of january 2012....
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Avatar_f_tn
i am scheudle to get one done on the 2nd of march with the ex husband, it wld devastate me if its his... only becuz he is not a strong role model for my son...
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134578_tn?1404951303
Laury, please tell actual dates.  I cannot help you figure this out, and would be glad to try to help, until you give specific dates of your ultrasound(s).  You said "When I did the ultrasound in March, it read 'age by ultrasound 14 weeks 4 days.'  What was the day on the calendar in March when the age by u/s was 14 weeks 4 days?  And the same question applies for the earlier ultrasound.
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Avatar_f_tn
hey annie, ok i do have the accurate dates now, the first ultrasound done on the 11 feb 2012, it gave age of the fetus as 11 weeks 1 day, the second ultra sound on the 19th march 2012 gave the age of the fetus by LMP as 14 weeks and age of fetus by ultrasound as 1 weeks 1 day EDD was 16 sept 2012. the third ultrasound done minus the LPM on the 16th of april gave the age of the fetus by ultrasound as 17 weeks 6 days, the BPD was 18 weeks and femur length as 17weeks , the due date given was18th sept 2012. i hope this helps,,,i am frantic right now...thanks
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134578_tn?1404951303
OK, laury, were you sleeping with anyone between December 22 and 30?  Here is what the conception calculator gives, based on an estimated due date of September 18, which was given to you at 14 weeks.   If you prefer to use the estimated due date of September 16 that was given to you at your first ultrasound, adjust the following dates to be two days earlier.

First day of last menstrual period:  December 12, 2012
Probable date of ovulation:  December 26, 2012
Possible dates of conception:  December 22 to December 30, 2012
Due date:  September 18, 2013 (40 weeks)

What I can't get from your story is whether you were sleeping with anyone in between December 8 (potential more-desirable dad) and January 2nd (potential less-desirable dad).  If nobody at all, your date of ovulation on the calculator is going to have to move to around January 2, but that's a big move; ultrasounds aren't THAT inaccurate at 11 and 14 weeks.  I don't think Dad Good's sperm, no matter how good, can last from December 8 to December 26 in your system, and you said the baby was not born on September 18 anyway but later.  So I am hoping that you possibly slept with him later but didn't mention it because you thought only the earlier dates mattered?

If you were sleeping only with Dad Bad and not with Dad Good (or anyone else) during the time period from the 22 to 30th of December, that does not bode so well for the test in terms of disproving Dad Bad is the dad.  Even before taking the test, in your shoes (if it looks like Dad Bab is indeed probably the dad) I'd see a lawyer now, to find out your options.  Go in prepared with what you are going to say.

ps -- Do a test at a lab certified by the courts.  Internet-sold tests have a terrible reputation.
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Avatar_f_tn
ahhhhhh...... i only had sex on those two ocassions before that it wldve been like mid november. oh annie, there is no way that the dec 8th date i did concieve (conceive)??????? ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! this is terrible,  i felt great when the sonogrpher told me that my conception date was actually d 12th, remeber i told u i got what i thought was a period, but then realised couldve have been implantation bleeding!!!!
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134578_tn?1404951303
Laury, I just want to check.  Above in your first post, you said you had sex with your ex boyfriend Dad Good on December 8, and your ex husband Dad Bad on December 2.  But then you posted to nichole that you had "sex with the ex husband on the 2nd of january 2012"  

Later, when I was trying to make a list of your dates, I put them in it as December 2 for Dad Bad and December 8 for Dad Good, and you didn't correct me.  But later when I asked if you meant you had slept with one guy on December 8 and the other guy on January 2, you didn't correct me, either.  

So please, and this is important, do you mean December 8 for Dad Good and January 2 for Dad Bad?  Or both guys in December?  (And the baby was given an earlier due date by ultrasounds, one September 16 and one September 18, than he was actually born which was on September 27?)

I ask because it means one guy was too early on all the conception calculators (about two weeks) and the other too late (about a week at least).  From there, we need to puzzle out whether your long cycle has anything to do with it.
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Avatar_f_tn
annie, good dad i slept with on the 8th of dec 2011 and bad dad jan 2nd 2012., the due dates on the ultra sounds were as is, annie i was up whole night reviewing the ultrasounds, shouldnt the age of the fetus by last menstrual period and age by ultrasound be like a two weeks or atleast a week apart and not a day or two apart???
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134578_tn?1404951303
The calculator says "First day of last menstrual period:  December 12, 2012,  Probable date of ovulation:  December 26, 2012," which is consistent with the ultrasound results as well.  Ultrasounds always use the medical method of counting, the counts starts Day 1 on the first day of your period.  All pregnancies are counted that way by anyone with medical training (doctors, ultrasonographers, etc.).  Day 1 of bleeding is Day 1 of pregnancy, according to medical counting.  If you scroll down to the post saying that a guy wrote in to see if he was dad and I think has his initials SW on it, you'll see an explanation of why they count it like this.  So your ultrasonographer gave you the same count as a count based on the first day of your last period.
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