he says its not his

Ok now me and my bf were broke up he said we were still together w.e the first day of my missed period was oct.13 I had sex on 17 right after my period was done with my ex bf and got back with my bf the 22 and been having sex since. .but I told him wut I did now he treats me like sh*t and I stay with him... he makes me think its not his but it only maked sence that it is his

[Bonnielv]

But doc says im first doc said im 17weeks second doc say im 18weeks wtf?

[AnnieBrooke]

To explain why one doctor says 17 weeks and one doctor says 18 weeks, will you give some information?  What was the first day of your actual last period, (not your first day of your missed period on October 13, but the one before when you actually had a period)?  In other words, what was the first day of bleeding, the last time you had a period (presumably in September)?  And when was the doctor appointment where the doc said 17 weeks, and when was the appointment when the doctor said 18 weeks?

Have you had any ultrasounds?  If so, what date was it done (i.e., the calendar date, like January 15) and what was the gestational age then (i.e., 14 weeks 5 days)?  Please be exact -- look up the report if you aren't quite sure.  (So often a woman says it was "around the middle of December" and it was "seven weeks," and nothing works when trying to count it out, and later she goes to look at her report and it was December 22 and she was 7 weeks 6 days and then everything makes sense.)  So, if you had an ultrasound, please look up the report, and tell when it was and how far along you were at that point.

I assume the sex with both the ex-boyfriend and the reunited boyfriend were unprotected?  It's too bad that your reunited boyfriend is giving you a lot of static, especially if there is at least a reasonable chance the baby is his.  He's probably just that mad at you having sex with someone else (unprotected) when he thought you were together.  Possibly if you would give me the answers to the questions above, we could work out the likelihood that the baby is his.  It's tough when the two candidates are only five days apart because sperm can live that long in your body.

[Bonnielv]

Ok my period started the 13th of october ended like the 16th I had sex on the 17th one day after the bleeding with my ex we did use a condom but it popped, then I got back with my boyfriend on the 22nd of October but wouldn't my ovulation be late in the month if my period began on the 13th?

[Bonnielv]

I should currently be 7weeks 5day according to lmp

[Bonnielv]

*17weeks 5days

[AnnieBrooke]

And when did you see the doctors?  Would at least one of them have been on a day that counts back to the first day of your last period?  (You did say your first "missed" period began October 13, but you're saying that it was an actual period?)

[Bonnielv]

Yeah it was my actual period on the 13th I didn't get one the next month but im thinking my ovulation had to be late in the month not the day after my period but idk

[AnnieBrooke]

And were you given a due date based on an ultrasound, and if so was it one earlier than 17 or 18 weeks?  Or had you had an earlier ultrasound too?

From dates alone on a pregnancy calculator, I'm coming up that it is more likely to be the guy on the 22nd than on the 17th, but not by a huge margin of certainty. If you have an ultrasound and got a due date based on it, I'd like to hear what was said and what date it was.

[Bonnielv]

Thank you so much yeah I was seen by two doctors first I went to a hospital they measured meat 13weeks then my gyn said 14 I asked why this could be he said a sonogram can be off by a week.. im thinking I should go by when it was most likely to be fertil and it should be later in the month!  God Bless you ur a big help and a angel in many ways to a lot of us lady thank you

[Bonnielv]

Dude date was something like july 6 but its a week off..it has to be on my twenty week chech up ill look for u :) so in like another week.

[AnnieBrooke]

When your gyn said 14 weeks, did he give you a due date?

[AnnieBrooke]

Sorry, I see our last two messages crossed in the ozone.

[AnnieBrooke]

Something you need to decide is about the present boyfriend.  You've hurt his feelings a lot, by having sex when you did with someone else.  What are you going to do to fix the hurt feelings?  There is at least an even chance that he is the daddy, and somehow and somewhere you two need to work on patching up the relationship so things are at least civil until the baby is born, if not for the next 18 years.  I wouldn't waste your time getting indignant at him -- you don't really have full moral force to say "He's treating me badly for sleeping with someone else!  How dare he!" since it's not like you exactly waited a while before having sex with someone else, and having unprotected sex is never a good idea.  But in some ways you are at least in a better position than a lot of the girls on here, who are fully engaged in trying to hide the situation from their boyfriend while at the same time desperately trying to figure out if it is possible he isn't the dad.  I mean, at least you told him.  I'm glad you did, because hiding and evading are almost as bad for a relationship as cheating.  Possibly you could take the following approach -- let's suppose your boyfriend is named Jack.  Next time he gives you cra p, say (and the whole thing here is to say it calmly ... it's all in the tone of voice) -- "Jack, I love you or I wouldn't be with you.  I am the first to admit I made a mistake, through my confusion over whether the relationship was over, or who knows, just because.  I owned up to it to you, and I will never do such a thing again.  Now what we have to figure out is how to live together from now until July and maybe a lot longer, maybe 18 years after that.  If you can't live with me without making remarks like that, tell me, because I have to tell you life with that is not acceptable.  You don't have to forgive me, but I do expect you to quit running your mouth about it, and finally if the baby is yours, I DO expect you to forgive me.  I won't do it again.  I'm sorry I did it then.  But life with someone who is giving me crap is not worth it."  You do have to give him that he is mad and hurt.  There just has to be a statute of limitations.  I assume the DNA test will be done?

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, you just posted -- Lmp oct13-16 had sex with ex 17th and current bf 22nd and so long..if my due date is the 20th of july my ovulation was the 27th of oct and. Im having a boy!  

And earlier I said -- from dates alone on a pregnancy calculator, I'm coming up that it is more likely to be the guy on the 22nd than on the 17th, but not by a huge margin of certainty. If you have an ultrasound and got a due date based on it, I'd like to hear what was said and what date it was.

So --- you are saying that now, you've gotten an ultrasound, and the due date they gave you was July 20?  As you've found on the conception calculator, that gives:

Presumed first day of last menstrual period:  October 13, 2012
Probable date of ovulation:  October 27, 2012
Possible dates of conception:  October 23 to October 31, 2012

It sounds promising.  No guarantees because of the lateness of the ultrasound (a really early one would have been more accurate) but it does push everything back to within the range of your boyfriend and pretty much away from the guy on the 17th.  A DNA test once the baby is born is the only moral thing to do for the sake of everyone involved, but it doesn't sound like you need to lie awake worrying over it.

[Bonnielv]

Yes that's true. . I wouldn't need a dna because my bf is white and the ex is black lol is should be clear as day even tho my bf said he wanys a dna anyway. . :-D happy this isn't a major issue for me anymore

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, if you have color-coding working in your favor, you would definitely know sooner or later.  Tell your boyfriend that if he wants to do a DNA test, he can pay for it.  (Not to stir the pot between you, and I really don't recommend you challenge him on this, but this might be his little way of saying he doesn't trust that there are only two choices for daddy.)  If you go for a DNA test, be certain you go together and you see him do the swab, and be sure you go to a lab certified by the courts for paternity testing.