helpme

[vibrantstill]

So I had unprotected sex with a friend on January 6th, my last period was Dec 30-January 2nd. I never got another period as my period can be very irregular.  I then had sex with my ex from January 19-26, today I went to the Dr and im 8 weeks and 4 days, due date October 17th. Who's the likely candidate?

[vibrantstill]

Thanks again! The Dr did ask if my periods were irregular and did I skip months, because I wasn't adding up to my last known period that I gave them (Dec 30) she said with that period date I should've been almost 10 weeks. So when the ultrasound came baCK, she said yeah your dates were off. From that I knew my ex was the culprit. But like you say, I will gladly do the DNA if h chooses too.

[AnnieBrooke]

Good luck; he'll probably ask for a DNA test, but he's within his rights to want to be sure, and besides, you're the proverbial Christian with four aces here, you can serenely tell him of course you perfectly understand and will be delighted to.  And it's a good idea anyway, then nobody will ever wonder.

Keep in mind that your GA (gestational age) measurement is the one a doctor uses for the count of a pregnancy.  GA always begins on the first day of the last period, or the assumed first day of the last period if the woman's period is not known or if she has irregular cycles.  It does not begin with the assumed date of ovulation.  A period can be seen, so pregnancy measurement historically begins there even though the doctor will tell you that of course you weren't pregnant yet if you're having a period.  

Ovulation does not always come 14 days after the first day of the last period, but it is counted that way when timing pregnancy.  Once you have had an ultrasound, it doesn't matter when your last actual period was; they have seen and measured the actual baby, and can compute all measurements from there.  They count back to a computed start point (consistent with the average woman's period) and count forward to an estimated due date, all from the actual measurements of the actual baby.  

Given that you wisely had an early ultrasound, you can count on those measurements to be either spot-on or off by only +/- a couple of days at most.  That pretty much rules out Mr. January 6.  If you want to be ultra careful and cautious, you can do the DNA test with *both* guys.  (That way you REALLY would never have to wonder.)

[vibrantstill]

Wow, you are so informative!  I so appreciate you, guess its time to tell the ex....

[AnnieBrooke]

The doctor sounds like he's right.  They don't tell you 8 weeks 4 days because that is when you conceived.  They tell it based on when the average woman with an embryo of that size would have had the first day of her last period.  This usually confuses women with irregular cycles, who could have last had a period a year ago, but it is the conventional allowance they add at the front end to start the count.  Your baby, if you are told by a doc that you're 8 weeks 4 days, is the size and has the developmental markers of an embryo conceived 6 weeks 4 days ago.

[vibrantstill]

Thanks Annie! Im thinking even if sperm lives 5-7 days it wouldn't be that long? When I asked the Dr, they said I conceived about 6 weeks 4 days ago. Which really confused me.

[AnnieBrooke]

That's what is meant on the calculator when it says "probable date of ovulation" and "possible dates of conception."  If you will notice, none of the dates that come up put the guy on January 6 into range.

[vibrantstill]

Wow, never thought about that. But the dates for conception that's showing only makes sense with the ex, am I correct?

[AnnieBrooke]

Thing is, once the ultrasound sees the actual embryo, it doesn't really matter when your last period was.  Based on the embryo's measurements and developmental markers, the ultrasound counts forward to the estimated due date.  It's based on how big and developed your embryo is, not on when your last period was.  

[vibrantstill]

I almost sure it is as well. Still needed that 2nd opinion. Only thing my irregular period makes me rethink everything. But I also don't think I would ovulate that quick after my last period.

[AnnieBrooke]

It doesn't sound like the person on January 6; the conception calculator gives the following for someone who is 8 weeks 4 days as of March 11.  

     Probable date of ovulation:  January 24
     Possible dates of conception:  January 20 to 28
     Due date:  October 17 (40 weeks)

Sperm can live a while, but not 18 days.  Sounds like your ex's baby.