pleas Helpppp

[rok555]

I am a married man having 2 child age 11(Boy) & 7(Girl). my married life was going in a happy and smooth way but I just came to know (before 3 month) that my wife cheated on me through her chat conversation history with another guy. Through the conversation I got (as they were recalling memory) that they knew each other from last 8-9 years and they had sex only once in this period (because he live in other city).  This conversation which I caught was 2 -3 years duration. Where they had lot of love conversation and my wife used to tell him that your son (my 2nd child) is look like you, I recall you when I see his dimples on cheeks etc. but I also came to know by this conversation that they broke up their relationship before 6 month.
When I asked with my wife, she admitted they met through internet and did physical only once before 8 year and after that she had taken emergency pills.  She did swear the girl is mine. She is doing only a fantasy with the other guy, it was just a time pass with him and she created my son’s fantasy for only maintain an interest between them. She said, she took all these nonsense too long because she found no harm in it and she always love me. And off course she proved herself as a caring and loving wife since we married
She did the intercourse on 23rd July 2007 (when she was at the guy’s city for work for 3 days) and my Daughter was born on 12th May 2008. What the above dates said?
She suggested and insisted me to take a paternity test. Should I take paternity test?
I am not ready to face the result against me. I love madly to my wife and now I am 100% sure that she is not in relationship with that guy anymore. She is genuinely in guilt.
Only one thing which puts me on thorn, this is the dimples on my Daughter's cheek (both of us don’t have, that guy has it)

[AnnieBrooke]

By 'who did not leave you in the dark,' I meant, she did not hide from you what had happened.  It would have doubtless frightened her very much that she might lose you.  

[AnnieBrooke]

I am glad you were able to stay positive during the worrisome time when you were not sure.  I hope you understand how lucky you are to have a caring wife who did not leave you in the dark even though she must have feared losing you, and a daughter who you love.  Please try to relax and understand that you actually benefitted by her contrition and atonement, and if you need to talk to a counselor about your feelings about your wife's mistake, that is the place to go to blow off tensions about it rather than to put it onto your wife.  It really sounds like you have a nice life.

[rok555]

Hi Annie
DNA test done and result is in my favor with 99.99% inclusion. all 16 marker matched.
thanks again to stay positively.

[AnnieBrooke]

I will be glad to hear.  

Please see the dimples issue as what it probably is, a false issue that in a way allows you to focus your concern and your worry on the one very small facial feature, rather than having to focus on the more amorphous issue every day.  (It is like when a beautiful woman focuses on a small mole on her face and obsesses that her beauty is ruined even though it is not.  It is easier for her to obsess on a small mole than to face general worries about getting older or less beautiful.)  I say this because many times people write into this forum when the dates are not problematic (the undesired sex was weeks earlier, the woman had a period in between, etc.) and yet they are still obsessing about something very small about the story.  I think this is merely transferrence, of the overall angst of the situation, to the little thing that is easier to focus on.  

I hope as a result of seeing the dimples as a thorn, you don't decide you dislike your daughter's face or her dimples.  I would be willing to bet she is beautiful and the dimples are charming.

Good luck, though I do not think you need it.  Please do write back.

[rok555]

Thank you so much Annie.
you can not imagine how much i loves her (my wife) and how much she loves me. she is in guilt more than my pain.she loves me and took care of me like a child since our marriage.
once again thanks gor your valuable suggestions...
if DNA test happens, i will let you know the result.

[AnnieBrooke]

The dates do not suggest anything to worry about.  If your daughter was born on May 12, she would have been conceived on or around August 19.  (The baby was, I am sure, not born a month overdue.)  Your wife is probably suggesting a DNA test just so neither of you will ever have to worry about this again.

If you are still afraid of a DNA test (despite the fact that the dates show that the child is your child), think of this.  You have raised this child and you love her, and you love your wife, and she is a good wife to you and undoubtedly is ashamed of her impulsive behavior and atoning for her mistake by being a good wife.  Even if the test were to come out the way you fear (I do not think it will), she is still your daughter.  She is your child by love and law.  So, don't be afraid of the test. -- 1.  It will confirm that she is biologically your child, and 2.  Even if it did not, she is your child.

For what it is worth, I have dimples, and my mom and dad do not.  Don't let  dimples throw you into a tailspin.  :)

[rok555]

ooops... sum typographical mistake in my previous post....

I am a married man having 2 child age 11(Boy) & 7(Girl). my married life was going in a happy and smooth way but I just came to know (before 3 month) that my wife cheated on me through her chat conversation history with another guy. Through the conversation I got (as they were recalling memory) that they knew each other from last 8-9 years and they had sex only once in this period (because he live in other city).  This conversation which I caught was 2 -3 years duration. Where they had lot of love conversation and my wife used to tell him that your Daughter (my 2nd child) is look like you, I recall you when I see his dimples on cheeks etc. but I also came to know by this conversation that they broke up their relationship before 6 month.
When I asked with my wife, she admitted they met through internet and did physical only once before 8 year and after that she had taken emergency pills.  She did swear the girl is mine. She is doing only a fantasy with the other guy, it was just a time pass with him and she created my daughter's fantasy for only maintain an interest between them. She said, she took all these nonsense too long because she found no harm in it and she always love me. And off course she proved herself as a caring and loving wife since we married
She did the intercourse on 23rd July 2007 (when she was at the guy’s city for work for 3 days) and my Daughter was born on 12th May 2008. What the above dates said?
She suggested and insisted me to take a paternity test. Should I take paternity test?
I am not ready to face the result against me. I love madly to my wife and now I am 100% sure that she is not in relationship with that guy anymore. She is genuinely in guilt.
Only one thing which puts me on thorn, this is the dimples on my Daughter's cheek (both of us don’t have, that guy has it)