so confused

[kward2]

So, sorry of this is long but I'm really confused.
On June 8th I had unprotected sex with someone, not my boyfriend. It was a mistake and he knows. I got my period 3 days later. Then my boyfriend was in town from July 6th-10th and we had sex a few times during those days. I never got another period after June 11th. When I didn't get my period in July I took several tests but wasnt too worried because mine are not regular at all. Its normal for me to go a month or two without getting one. Well last week at my first appointment they gave me my due date as being March 18th putting me at now 21+1. I had an ultrasound today and the baby is measuring 20+2. Which isnt far off from the due date I was given. My boyfriend isn't questioning wether or not he's the father because we've been together 6 yeard and have been trying for a baby for 2 years. But I can see it in his eyes that he's a little worried. Is it possible that he's not the father? I know a dna test is probably the only way to

[kward2]

Thank you Annie. We have been through a lot of struggles. We did talk last night about it and he would like to get a DNA test done just to know for sure. I would have just stopped worrying about it but then when the ultrasound put me further along then I thought I wasn't sure. Plus trying to explain it all to him was hard. He doesnt understand ovlation and how periods work.

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- I just read your other post and see why you haven't married him, a good call on your part.  I can also see why he is standing by you even with the nervousness about the June 8 business.   Good luck to him and to you, both.  He is lucky to have you.

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like you had sex with the wrong guy on June 8 and then three days later had a period, is that correct?  I am wanting to make sure there are no typos in that particular part of the story.

Also, it sounds like you are saying that the first time anyone medical gave you an estimated due date from an ultrasound measurement, it was in your 20th week of pregnancy?  (On conception calculators, the estimated conception date related to March 18 is around June 25.)

And you point out that you never had a positive on a home test until August, and I assume you used the tests correctly with first-morning urine?

I'm surprised that in this discussion, or at your doctor's, nobody has mentioned that ultrasounds in the 20th or 21st week have a large margin for error if used for measuring a conception date.  By the 12th week, it is said to be +/- 7 days.  By the end of pregnancy, measuring by ultrasound carries a possible margin for error of as much as 3 weeks.  This means the margin for error in your ultrasound readily reaches your boyfriend on the 6th of July (from the 28th of June to July 6 being only 8 days), but it is not enough to stretch back all the way back to the 8th of June.

The fact that you had a period 3 days after having had sex with Mr. Wrong should have been enough to put the question to rest all by itself, and of course would have been, back in pre-ultrasound days. Even women with irregular cycles don't ovulate 3 days before their period comes.  Women ovulate 14 days before their period comes, and the egg only lasts 24-36 hours when they do.  This means your prior egg was long gone and your next egg was not yet around when the guy's sperm was in your system, as evidenced by the arrival of your period.  The irregular part of an irregular cycle is not between ovulation and the period, that is regular for all women.  (Nature gives two weeks for the body to decide if it is pregnant.)  The body might then take a break of any length before popping out another egg, but the variation doesn't come in the timing between ovulation and the next period, the irregular phase is between the last period and the new ovulation. You saying "I had sex and then three days later got my period" is pretty much the end of the question for Mr. June 8, as I see it.  You had no viable egg at that time.  And by the time you did, his sperm would all have been dead.

Even if you hadn't had a period, unless you were flubbing the pregnancy tests over and over by taking them with too-dilute urine, even a home test would have caught a pregnancy that came from sex June 8 by the end of July.  You would have been more than two months along (counted the medical way) by July 31.  

And to explain why the ultrasound didn't match all of this, you had your ultrasound at a point in pregnancy where there is a margin for error of +/- 10 days or more.

Don't torque yourself all up over the ultrasound.  If this had been a 7th week ultrasound and had given you the March 18 estimated due date, I would be asking you "Are you SURE you didn't have sex with someone around June 25"  But having such a late ultrasound and trying to hinge everything on what it gives for a date is futile.  It is not reliable for determining when you conceived, by now.

In short, don't worry, it really does not sound like it can have been Mr. June 8.  It will be very decent of you to get a DNA test so there will be no worries left in your boyfriend's eyes, but this one worries me so little that I would recommend going the drugstore-test route.  I usually insist people go to a lab, but this situation seems pretty clear and you really don't need your child ever to do a public-records search and find out that you thought a DNA test was necessary in his or her case.  Do the Walgreen's test when the baby is born, but relax, in the meantime.  It sounds like your boyfriend is a keeper (why don't you marry him?) and it sounds like his baby.

[kward2]

Selena- when i typed march 8th it was a typo. Theyre telling me March 18th.
Either way thanks for the help everyone. :)

[selena_nene]

kward2_ I really hopethebest I hope it's the boyfriends ill pray for you . I didn't know your doc was changing dates but if you couldnt get positive test till August than looks like july I just don't understand march 8th as your due date

[RockRose]

Your due date won't be off much.  It really is looking like the boyfriend.  ;D  

Enjoy your pregnancy.  Your boyfriend is a good guy for being there either way.

[kward2]

They didnt. Get to do an early one becuase I was having issues with insurance and couldnt get a Doctor. Which is why I had to switch doctors. She did it based on if I conceived in the beginig of July.  She said I had to have conceived then because of my hcg levels and she also checked my stomach which I know can't be that accurate. And alsothe fact that I was taking home test often and never got a positive until August. I just feel like one way or the other my due date is off.

[Mom2bestace]

I got pregnant mid July and I'm due April 2ed I'm 19 weeks today so you could have got prego first week of July I think since you are a about a week ahead of me

[heatherbelle01]

I'm due March 24th and my last period was June 12th. I was confused too when my doctor gave me my due date. Cuz according to my last period I would have been due March 19th. So idk. But good luck and congrats either way!

[AmyLilyCaytee]

If your cycle isn't regular it may not be a 28 day cycle. It could be out to 32 days which changes things with ovulation completely. Only definite way of knowing is a dna test. But considering your calculating later then when you slept with someone else and before your be and  dates don't match you should alter how your calculating. I'm a 32 day cycle which changed my conception date by 8 days, but my husband is the father.

If by chance you're boyfriend isn't the father he does have a right to know,  he may still want to be the father anyway. The person who donates the sperm isn't always the best choice for dad but both men still have a right to know

[hab63380]

I would really just ask your dr the first time i got preg my conception date was aug 14 my lmp was july 23 and my due date was may 7 so that would be like a month diff from your situation so it reslly could go either way good luck dear i hope u get answers but if nmw ur bf is gonna b there for u and baby then id try not to stress no point in stressi  over nothin momma

[RockRose]

You're welcome,  kward.  As confusing as this is,  it does seem to be your boyfriend's.    The timing is so far from June 8 that it is really hard to believe he's the father.

[kward2]

And selena I know ur trying to help to. But conception dates dont match the march due date is what Im saying. The only thing that does is my period...if it was a period or just whatever.  Idk.

[RockRose]

So your original due date was April 4?

Why did they change it?  Did they do an early sono to determine due date?

[kward2]

I didnt think June made sense . I dont want to be induced or something if I go over this due date if it's not really accurate. Thats honestly my main concern. I feel horrible for cheating. But when i first found out we did discuss the possibility that it was not my boyfriends and he knew and still agreed that he's going to be here and no matter what he'll take care of him just like he does with our daughter. Ty for helping RockRose.

[hab63380]

Drs also give or take 2 wks ..

[selena_nene]

I can see why your confused but your measuring right for march due date if your due date was inApri than it will be july

[kward2]

Hes not measuring 21 weeks either. This who time I was going by my first dr and wha she told me. My due date was April 4th and I was 18 weeks. I explained the situation to her and she said even if it wasnt my period that i wasnt measuring far enough along to have gotten pregnant in June. And no matter what my boyfriend will be this baby's father. We're a family and i don't intend to drag anyone else into it. I

[hab63380]

Ur dr can confirm around when u concieved if that would help u any ?  Just ask when conception date would have been ... U may have just thought it was a period though n some women do still have one after getting preg :/

[RockRose]

selena,  I think you need to take another look at a conception calculator by due date.

[selena_nene]

march 8th * still prego june

[RockRose]

Using a due date calculator,  none of this adds up.  You seem to have gotten pregnant during a time between guys.

If we adjust your due date to Mar 24,  based on the US finding of you being 20+2,  we can get closest to your boyfriend,  with a conception window of June 25 - July 5.  

I can't make the numbers work out anywhere near conception on June 8.

[selena_nene]

your doc said march 18 ' your 21 weeks im barley 18 weeks you see the difference . forget about periods not all doc are the same but if your due date is in March nd you measuring right your boyfriend is indeed not the father hope he understands . the bany deserves to know real father dont hide it onlygets worst

[cali_fornia]

My due date is April 16th too :)