who could the father to my unborn child be?

[chrissy_23]

Ok I'm not proud of this but I'm married and have been having a secret lover as well.my lmp was 26July.I had sex with my lover who fully came in me on the night 4th of aug. Meaning closest to the 5th.I usually have a 28day cycle which if late will be 29day. I then had sex with my husband on the 9th aug n he pulled out.he hadn't ejaculated anyhow b4 this as I was with him the whole day. So I don't think sperm wud be present in his precum? Now my question is who do you think is likely to be the dad? My 14 week ultrasound showed that I was due 1May 2016? Anyone ever got preg from sperm which actually survived in your body? PLEASE HELP!

[Trini_Lover]

hi Chrissy, I believe it can be your lover. My wife is due on the May 9th 2017. Her lmp was July 29. We did it on the July 16. She also have a 28 cycle. So looking at it and comparing to my wife and I, your lover could be the father. But again it's how long sperm live for. My wife is 13 weeks. It's a tough one. Wishing you all the best. Take care.

[chrissy_23]

Thank you for your reply. Just so I understand. U meant to say u did it August 16 after the period that is, not July?

[Trini_Lover]

Yes you are correct. Sorry for the mix up

[AnnieBrooke]

Sperm is said in the research to live 4-6 days in the woman's reproductive tract.  It is not in the cervical mucus by then, it has swum up the Fallopian tubes, where all of the woman's systems favor sperm survival.  Some of the research suggests it lives longer, but other research says that by day 6, it is not mighty enough to penetrate the egg even if it is still alive.  But nothing I've seen has ruled out 4 days, except your doctor who is talking to you about the mucus of your cervix, which the upstream-swimming sperm would have passed many days before.

[chrissy_23]

Thanks again annie for your reply. I understand what you saying. I'm just trying to fight this strong feeling that it is not my husband's child. I can just feel it in me that it's my lovers child. And it freaks me out. Usually when I have this kind of a strong feeling it usually is true.bt I guess at this moment all I can do is wait to give birth. Hopefully the baby will come out with evident similarities. All I can do is wait...Thank you again!

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, it's probably time to make contingency plans, what you will do if it is your husband's child (given that you have a lover, it is to be assumed your marriage is not idyllic) and what you will do if the baby is from your lover.  No matter what you see when the baby is born, don't make any decisions based on "evident similarities."  Get a DNA test.

[chrissy_23]

*I don't think he'd have a problem doing paternity once the baby is born*

[chrissy_23]

I don't think he would have a problem doing the paterni!He baby is born.I would js need to save enough money for it.what makes me confused is all this talk about sperm survival. If I cud no for sure if somebody truly got preg 4m having sex a few days b4 O.According 2me I ovulated either the 8/9th. The only way the other guy could be the father is if the sperm survived from the 5th aug? My gynae says max sperm life even in great CM is 72 hrs. Which is js 3days. But some ppl say they got preg by sex from abt up to 4 or 5days b4 O. CONFUSING!

[AnnieBrooke]

The sperm would not have even had to be 4 days old, since your ultrasound was so late it had a +/- 7 days margin for error.  You could have gotten pregnant on the day you had sex with your lover.  Your idea that you ovulated the 8th or 9th is not something you can prove by the ultrasound.

[chrissy_23]

Oh no sorry about that.the bby is due in 2017. Still pregnant now.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hm.  Well, let's sort this out as much as can be sorted out.

First of all, I assume you know that a 14th-week ultrasound is going to have a margin for error when used for the purpose of trying to determine a conception date, of about +/- 7 days.  So sperm would not have to last in your system very long, you could have ovulated the day you had sex with your lover and still gotten a reading like this from your ultrasound at 14 weeks.

Second, you said your baby was due "1 May 2016."  Has the baby been born, or did you mean 2017?  If the baby has arrived, is your lover willing to take a DNA test?  Do you intend to do this?

I think if you were with your husband all day when you then had sex (on the 9th) there is a chance that with pulling out, he didn't give you the baby.  But unfortunately, this is too many ifs.  You need to plan for things both ways.

I assume you don't intend to try to fool your husband into raising someone else's child if that is what the situation produces.  Is that correct?  It would hardly be fair to anyone if you have that course in mind, and the truth has a way of coming out sooner or later.  You would have to not only explain to your husband, but to your child, if you kept the secret hidden for a while and then it came out.  What plans do you have if the baby is not from your husband?  Because from what you have said, it could be from either guy.