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I think it was May 2008, I had a nerveNerve biopsy Nerve conduction velocity block, and after a week, it worked perfectly, but then, I looked up and my neck popped,I was back to the same pain I was in before the nerve block. The Dr. said it was impossible, but, it happened. He rescheduled another nerve block for September.
So, in Sept. 2008 I had another nerve block, It was supposed to be a direct injection but the Dr. decided after I was asleep to do a catheter from just above my bra line. Something must have gone wrong, because 15 minutes after I left the hospital where the procedure was done, I was in horrible, horrific pain, when I should have been groggy with a little discomfort and then slept for hours like I'd done before!!
The pain was more severe than anything I've ever known, and the pain hasn't stopped to this day. It is now July, 2009.
The Dr. who did the procedure released me as his patient when I called his nurse and told her I was in horrible pain.
In March 2009 another MRI was ordered by my GP Doctor, It showed disc's C4,C 5 C6, C7 bulging, and I've been diagnosed with Chronic Intractable Pain.
Later saw a Neurosurgeon who wrote a letter to my General Practioner Dr. with the diagnosis based on the MRI report. However, he was supposed to call me back, and he never did, and when I called his nurse to make an appointment, she said he would call me. I've tried to make appointments with other neurosurgeons and one literally walked me out of his office and asked his medical secretary to white out my name on the appointment book as if I'd never been there. Others will not make appointments with me or will but cancel at the last minute. My GP Dr. has tried to make appointments. Neurologists tell me I need surgery, but then they say they don't know any neurosurgeons.
The only reason I know about the diagnosis is because in June, when I was escorted out of the Dr's office without explanation, I said.. I don't understand to the Dr. Anyway... I had to wait for my ride in the waiting room. The nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said.. If I give you a letter from your medical file, do you think that would help? I said, I don't know. She left and brought back a copy of a two page letter. The letter was written in April and was addressed to my GP Dr.
MY GP Dr. said she never received it. I believe her. I've asked my GP Dr if she knows what is going on. She shakes her head and will not answer.
I don't understand what is going on. Will someone tell me what's happening? I really don't understand!
My GP Dr will give me pain medication, but I need more than pain medication. I think I am dying, I've lost so much weight, I'm under 100 lbs now, and can barely walk. The pain medication helps me think clearly, because it knocks down the pain and I am so grateful for that, but surely there are things that can be done that can help me get better! I'm dying.. and it seems like every Dr I see is looking away and just letting me die. What is going on?
Can someone tell me what is going on? Is this the way Dr.s always act?
Is there some way I can find out what is happening?
So did they tell you what you had was fibromyalgia. that is what Chronic Intractable pain is described as. You can get info at www.fibroandfatique.com. hope this helps you some. capsule1. Good luck, I have degenerative spondylosis so I feel for you with the constant pain.
I think all your doctors are horrible. I can't believe they are treating you this way. It's clear you have a problem with your neck.
Have you tried a spine specialist? I'm sure you probably have, but I can't believe that a doctor who looks at your MRI's would just dismiss you.
I have chronic pain and also 3 herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging one in the lower back and autoimmune disease. I know what it is to live this way, and I don't even have pain medication. I'm sure your pain is much more severe, but that's even more reason to find someone, somewhere who will believe you. Maybe take your husband or a friend or relative to back you up when you go.
Also, you can try going to a new doctor without taking any records from other doctors, not even the MRI's, just to see if they listen. Just a thought...
I'm sorry I reread your post and I see you did say *neurosurgeon* so obviously you have gone to them. Maybe it's the diagnosis that is stopping them from helping you, or the pain medication. I think once you are on pain medication, sometimes the doctors think you're just a pill user.
I'm thinking--maybe a rheumatologist or an orthopedist?
Thank you so very much for responding. I am so used to being ignored, I thought I'd be ignored here too.
I wish there was another reason... some other reason for what I have. The letter that was never sent to my GP Dr, but was somehow in my file and was given to me by a nurse, was obviously the reason I was escorted out of the Neurosurgeons office said that I had damage to new discs from C7 through C4. Damage that somehow suddenly showed up after the catheter from just above my bra line to the top of my neck for the nerve block. The nerve block was supposed to be done by direct injection for bulging and herniated discs C1 through C3. The Dr. decided to do it this way after I was out. Had I known I would have said no.
I don't understand why my GP Dr. never got the letter, or why the letter was in my file and yet she never got it! How can that happen? Can a person have two or more medical files? Could the Neurosurgeon that kicked me out of his office have asked the Neurosurgeon who wouldn't see me to send him information that wasn't in my file?
The Chronic intractable pain is caused by damage to nerve roots along my spinal cord. This damage was not there before the catheter was done. But was immediately there afterward. This is why no Dr. will see me.
Right before the procedure with the catheter I was 5 foot 1 3/4 inches tall. Now I am 5 foot tall. I lost 1 1/34 inches in a few minutes.
Anyway, now, every disc in my neck is now herniated/ruptured/bulging, & there is damage to the nerve roots. There's little support/padding between the discs. I must keep my neck in traction all the time or my hands & arms go completly numb.My feet & legs are effected. The sensations&pain are always in my body even in traction...is horrible, beyond explaining. Traction helps A LOT! Moto cross neck braces stacked up on my neck give me mobility, relief & it's Traction! It looks funny, but it is traction!!
The medical world has changed in the USA. Dr's pick and choose their patients. They choose the most money & the easiest and quickest money.
Because I am a walking lawsuit they're afraid to be the first Dr. to touch me after the Dr damaged me, they're afraid they'll be involved in a mal-practice law suit.
I need help and all Dr's are concerned with is money. That is what our whole system is about I'm not going to sue anyone, I just need help!The Dr didn't do this on purpose, no one would do this to anyone on purpose!
No Dr will see me, I totally understand that now. I am dying slowly, but I am not dead yet, I still live.
So, now it is up to me. I am doing everything I can to heal myself. And.. it is working better than nothing. I am making progress. This is so long.. it's more of a vent than anything. But I am doing things that are helping me. I may write another Comment that details the things I am doing... because it is HELPING and if it helps me, it will help others too!
HOWEVER....Without the pain medication I am on, I know I would die. I'd die from stroke or heart attack from the pain, or eventually by my own hand because the pain is beyond enduring. There comes a point when you just can't take it anymore. There is no hope, there is no future except pain, and sometimes giving yourself compassion and mercy IS the right thing to do. But, I am not at that point. I am grateful for the pain medication. I am so grateful for my GP Dr, she is a jewel. I can't say enough good about her. I wouldn't want to do anything that would harm her, either.
I am on the pain patch Fentanyl transdermal system 100mch/h As I understand it, this is the most powerful pain medication anyone can get. Sometimes this is not enough pain medication,but sometimes it is works very well if I don't move too much.
I can't use my arms very much, they stop working, especially my left arm. My fingers work ok most of the time. I can walk around just fine if I don't walk too much.
Before this, I was a musician & an Artist. I used to have concerts around the country, &have a few fans around the world. I have 3 Cd's that still sell. I also had a display of artwork in the Smithsonian Institute in the early 90's. Now, I can't make art, I can't make music.
I've learned a lot about pain. I've learned a lot about family and friends, myself. I've learned a lot about the nature of meditation, prayer and the Creative life force which is responsible for Consciousness/Creation, called God. I've learned a whole lot about life through this experience, and it makes me sad. But I am wiser now than I ever was before.
Without a doubt, I would have died if I hadn't practiced meditation and Silva for 30 years before I had that nerve block. When the pain medication wore off after the procedure and the horrific pain hit me on the drive home, I immediately went into the deepest level of Silva to handle the pain. Then I did TM meditation. I cycled back and forth between the two for 6 months until I could drive myself to my GP Dr. to get help. Silva and TM meditation kept my blood pressure down and my heart rate down. I would have died without doing these two things.
You ask, where was my family and friends through this time? Well, I do have a husband, but he is more of a distant room mate than anything else, he hates me because he blames me for the guilt he feels, blames me for his feeling bad and he punishes me when he feels bad about it.. urgh, and my sons, well, they don't understand that he's like that, they don't even want to know.
In that first month after the procedure I lost 45 lbs. and was starving to death. A friend came to see me... She started bringing me food once a week for a couple of months. Since then, I've asked my husband and sons to get me food. I weigh 100 lbs now, and struggle to get food. I am starving, and need help. It is as if everyone wants me to die so this problem will go away. I'm not dying. I thought I was going to at one time, but I am still alive for some reason. I'm still starving and need help but there is no one to help me so I'm doing what I can to get food and to help my physical situation.
It may seem like life is hell at times, and maybe it is. But we can make our lives better, even if it is in small ways. It really is up to each of us, individually.. not the Dr's, not our friends or family, not our Spouses.. It is up to the individual how the quality of our life is. We're each given a circumstance, a situation to live through. We can find a place of balance within that situation, within that circumstance... Some people can do it quickly and others it takes a while.. and it is ok. Once you find that place of balance you can take a breath and relax for a moment... this moment is bliss. All we really have is ... this moment.
A small edit: in the third paragraph..
The Dr who wouldn't see me actually is the Dr who saw me twice, made the diagnosis, wrote the letter to my GP Dr, and then would not see me afterward.
He lied to me. He told me he'd do surgery on me in a week, it could happen that quickly he said. He needed the physical MRI's. He had the CD with the MRI's, he had the MRI report. He wanted me to deliver the physical MRI's to his office on Monday and then call him to find out when the surgery would be done and to find out the details. He never returned my calls.
The MRI's had been delivered by my son on Mondy morning as soon as the Dr's office was open. My son is very good looking and single, and all the girls in the office flirted with him and my son said it was like walking into a sharks tank. The girls in the office remembered him with out a doubt.
However, by Wed, when I called again, they said the MRI's had never been delivered, and of course, the Dr was still 'Out'.
This is the Dr who gave the diagnosis of Chronic intractable Pain in April, after viewing the MRI's and reading the MRI report, and after examining me on Friday. He is also the Dr who said I had damage and herniated discs from C7 through C4. He wrote the letter to my GP Dr. that she never received but the Nurse gave to me after I was kicked out of the Neurosurgeons office in late June. The letter was dated the day after he saw me!! So he didn't need the physical MRI's.. that was a ruse a lie.. something to give him time, an excuse. He used the CD with the MRI on it to make the diagnosis and the MRI report. And oh.. he is an associate of the DR who did the damage to me. That's important I think.
I've seen two Neurologists who said I needed immediate surgery but both said they didn't know any neurosurgons. How very strange.
My Dr.'s office has set up appointments for me, and those appointments have been cancelled at the last moment by the Dr's. My Dr. has personally made appointments for me, and it is the same story.
So.. really.. after a while.. you loose hope and trust. I don't trust Dr's anymore, at all. I trust my GP Dr. I know she has an oath to follow which she must uphold.. toward her fellow Dr's. I also know she is doing everything she can to help me. I also know.. I'm a problem she wishes would go away because I am a hopeless case as far as what she can do medically.
It really is up to me now.. and I am doing everything I can to help myself. There is no alternative. I'm still alive, I still think, my mind is still lucid, dispite the odds against me. It is because of the pain medication, Meditation, Silva.. and I know that if I can still think clearly and communicate clearly I can make some sort of positive effect in my reality, my world. Everyone does it all the time whether they are aware of it or not. I just can't move around as much as others. It's going to be ok, and I am making positive changes in my little bubble of reality, my little world. Onward to the day.
Epip....OMG.I am so sorry for you, you're pain and the absolute disregard of help from any of these 'specialists'
they are all very much afraid of getting involved in a law suit. honey if you are able thats exactly what you need to do...gather up all the written evidence you can and see a lawyer....HOLLER loud to anyone who will llisten even if it has to be thru the press.
Also if able could you're GP refer you to someone out of you're city?
Are their any patient advocacy affilliations somewhere in U.S? you need to be heard and you need to let everyone know how you have been treated.......this is awful!!!
Try the EXPERT FORUM on the site...explain it all once again and just see if anyone out there has balls enough to answer you and give you some direction.
You maynot get anywhere suing the surgeon but it will sure give him the message that you are not going to take this...nor should you.
Get a LAWYER...one who specialises in malpractice......
but you still have to keep pursuing a neurosurgeon somewhere!!
As far as you're 'family'..I feel soooo bad for you, everyone seems to have just shut you out for whatever reason....something that originally wasn't you're doing and than onto an incompetant surgeon..
Call you're congressman...Governor even write this all out and send to you're president...make many copies of you're story and let anyone you can think of KNOW.. every one you can and never stop...Doctors have NO right NOT to care for you.
My heart just goes out to you and you're courage
I don't know what else to say ...try posting in the PAIN MANAGMENT FORUM....there is alot of activity there and someone should be able to give you more info that may help you.
God Bless you
Firstly any doctors you see should understand just because one doctor may have committed malpractice doesn't mean you have anything against doctors in general. Firstly, obtain your full case file (which they must give you by law) and then see what might have gone wrong in exact medical terms and discuss it with someone who can help you with any formal complaint as well as requiring that it be treated. You should also note that I have some adverse side effects that unlike what you post are unknown and could not have been prevented but I advocated to have them identified, treated and prevented and have acheived success as well as tenative steps towards recovery. Since what you have is known doctors should be more willing to help you especially if they were not in anyway involved in that specific medical procedure that created it.
I am so sorry to hear about your horrific struggle. I agree that you should obtain all your medical records. They cannot deny them and you have a right to them.
Try to decipher them and see what the professionals are charting in your legal medical record. It should give you a lot of insight. If your really trust your PCP she can help you understand what may have gone wrong and what if anything can be done about it.
As far as your family situation goes if you truly are in danger by neglect than you must contact agencies to report abuse, because that is what you are describing, abuse through neglect. We are all worthy and only we can make others treat us as such....or regardless of the physical or emotional pain, remove them or our-self from the situation.
I see no other remedy.
You have friends here. However we are powerless to do any more but listen and support you. In my opinion you must remove yourself from the unhealthy situation you are in. If you choose to seek a legal remedy you should be aware that there are time limits on litigation.
You may have to leave the area or even the state to obtain medical care. Is your PCP not referring you or providing you with answers? My PCP picks up the phone and speaks directly to any specialist that I am referred. You may request that your PCP do that also.
Best of luck to you. Continue to have faith, courage and determination and if you haven't done so already, learn how to be assertive in your health care.. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Best of luck to you.
I agree with Sandee. You MUST get a copy of your Medical Records. There is someting in there that is turning Dr's away. After you retrieve them...contact a lawyer asap.
Sandee is right when she says that we are powerless. You need to be your own advocate and fast. You need a NEW network of Doctors..even a new GP. Doctors that have a fresh view of the situation. I urge you to do this. I know it will help.
Please take care and if you need a shoulder and would like to talk about your pain then go to:
" The Pain Managemant Forum" here at MedHelp. We all understand the pain. Most of us are chronic Pain sufferers as well.
I can relate to your situation; in summary I woke up from laprascopic surgery to find my thoracic spine was injured, as well as the rotator cuff and possibly my neck - I say possibly as I've had whiplash injuries twice which makes the neck a bit sensitive to rigidity of posture. Anyway, after nearly 12 years of trying to alternately find out what is wrong, and just trying to live with it, I have felt the closing of the ranks a few times. I've never been interested in legal action; I just wanted to know as much about what might have happened in the operation so as to have the best chance of rehabilitation of the affected areas.
I would say that your situation pain-wise and discomfort-wise is worse than me. Therefore, it is worthwhile attempting to get past whatever the roadblock is with the doctors. Get hold of your medical records first, and make a timeline of important events for later reference - that will help to keep your story consistent when talking with new doctors; it is so easy to forget something in the rush of an appointment.
Make sure that you keep your physical copies of any scans, especially MRI which tend to be the most informative for a doctor. While you are doing this, try to find a new doctor and refrain from telling them about your previous doctor troubles unless asked. Remember, you are trying to build a new relationship of trust with a new doctor, and hitting them with your history of previous doctor trouble might get them offside, at least initially. Keep the focus on the health problem and away from health system problems, that would be my suggestion.
Off topic a bit: it sounds to me like your fitness has decreased below normal, which is not uncommon among chronic pain sufferers. Catch-22 is that the muscles need a minimum of exercise in order to maintain condition and bulk, yet those same muscles either cause pain or are in proximity to the pain. Wearing a neck brace too much of the time will decondition the neck muscles. They need to be strong to prevent further compression of the neck (cervical spine). Once you have found a doctor, see if they can organise a program of mild exercise to help get out of the Catch-22 situation. Perhaps hydrotherapy might assist in regaining some strength without weight-bearing.
Finally, strong opiates aren't the only medications available for chronic pain. If you feel up to it at some point, it may be worth trying out some other options like anticonvulsants such as lyrica (pregabalin), neurotin (gabapentin), or tegretol (carbameprazine I think), or some antidepressants like endep (amitriptyline, a tri-cyclic), effexor (venlafaxine, a NSRI), or prozac. All of these act upon the central nervous system, and all of them have some success at reducing the levels of chronic pain. The reason I suggest them is precisely because they aren't opiates - if you find one that works well with you then you won't have the drama of dealing with opiates and the whole "drug addict" reaction that opiates seem to invoke in people, including doctors unfortunately. A secondary benefit is that depression tends to hit people who are grappling with chronic pain (and with people's reactions to that). If you feel that is the case for you, an antidepressant may help on both counts.
I advise you to find a lawyer that is also a doctor. While I know they are rare they do exist. There are several here in NJ. I don't know about OK. but you need to see if you can find one. They will get your records, compensation, and the proper medical care.
Reading your posts have made me cry a lot. Thank you for wanting to help me. I've been so lost and alone for a year now. It's been a year this month since I had that simple procedure, and I'm just recently able to really think clearly about all of this. I'm coming back to myself.
I called lawyers in July. From that I learned I need to go into their offices so they can see me or they don't take me seriously. I'm not strong enough yet to get to a lawyers office and talk clearly too. One of the places I called referred me to their investigator. Since I wasn't interested in suing but was interested in getting Medical help, the investigator told me to go to the University hospital.
The University hospital is an hour and a half drive from where I live. My GP Dr made a quick appointment and I went. I knew it was taking a chance because the Dr's there are young and learning, the hospital doesn't have the best reputation. But, it was hope and I'd see a Dr.
The young Dr told me I had arthritis and simple aspirin should take care of the pain. He told me to exercise and ignored me when I told him about my arms. I asked him about my left arm and he said I had frozen shoulder. Even I know I don't have frozen shoulder. He never touched me or examined me in any way. I asked him if the letter from the Neurologist to my GP Dr. was in my file and he said, "What letter".. I told him about the letter the Nurse gave me and that it said I had damage to the discs and CIP and he looked at me like I was crazy. Then he talked down to me in a taunting manner.
I have to wonder if he had my latest MRI's or if someone took them out or didn't put them back into my file?? I'm not sure who to trust anymore!!!
It was a horrible experience and I was in horrific pain for the next week and a half because of the trip. I think I learned my lesson about Dr's.
While I was there I signed papers so that I'd get his medical report sent to me. It was supposed to have been sent in two weeks. It's been almost a month and a half and have not received it.
I can not force a Dr. to see me. I know that. Eventually I'm going to have to walk into a lawyers office so they can help me, and before I do that I have to be strong enough to do it. I hate to have to get a lawyer just to get medical help. It's probably the only way. I"m also Cherokee, I have thought about going to the Cherokee hospital at the other side of the state... but that will take months of living there. I don't know how I can do that. But it's Federal. It's also a learning hospital. It's not the same system as what is out here in the free market.
I'm on an anti-depressant, but truthfully, who wouldn't be depressed in my situation? It is also supposed to help numb the nerve endings my Dr. said. I also take the highest amount of gabepintin made. And topamax along with the pain patch. Sometimes it's still not enough pain medication. I live in a small town, so I don't have options for Dr's. I think at the moment, I'm at that tip of the needle.. balance.. If I don't move to much and I get enough food I can endure the level of pain I'm in and seem to be sleeping a lot now. I think that must be good.
And the pain patch.. Oh god.. it's the only reason I'm still alive now, it's the only reason I can think and type! I can't go back to what it was before.. I can't go through that pain again.. it was marathon of constant meditation and will to alleviate the horror of unimaginable pain, and I can not believe I lived through it... I don't ever want to go through that again.
I don't wear a medical neck brace, they are awful!! But I have bought moto cross padded neck braces and have stacked them up to hold my head and it gives me mobility around the house. It's like traction in a way. Otherwise my arms and hands go completely numb after a while and the pain is unexplainable even with this pain patch. It is terrifying to loose sensation in your arms and hands. I even sleep with these things on my neck.. someday I hope to be able to lay down again. I have slept sitting up since I had that procedure done a year ago in September. My neck hurts horribly when I lay down flat on a bed so I sleep sitting up in a chair. Not fun, but, it's the only way.
I'm complaining. I'm sorry.. I am in a horrid situation, I don't know what to do to get out of this and I think the people on this board are the only people who have tried to help. My GP Dr.. but her hands are tied. I appreciate your suggestions. I"ve written down a bunch of things and will investigate and ask my Dr.. I've got to do something.. I am better than I was a few months ago.. Bless you all BLESS YOU You've given me options to work with.. THANK YOU I'll keep you updated. I will make a Dr.s appointment next week and see what can be done. Thank you
May we all find health and healing. Bless you all!
This is the place to complain. Please visit us in the Pain Management Community. We all have different methods we use to help deal with the pain we suffer from, especially back pain.
ahhhh you are in such a hard place, you have every right to complain!! you are going thru alot more than most people can endure. and you are strong enough not to give up. You are trying and I know how hard this is when living in a small community with everything a drive away for specialist etc....not easy when in so much pain that its impossible to get yourself there under you're own steam and no support.
You mentioned the Cherokee hospital the other side of the state and there being a teaching hospital there, is there any possibility of you moving there, would there be someone you could live with for a lengthy stay and get some help where they won't refuse you?..sounds like a good option IF its possible.
Also you mentioned lawyers and not really wanting to sue
but I think its like Red told you, you need the lawyer/doctor who will work for you to get you're medical records and proper medical care.
If its possible to find someone like that Michelle it sounds like what you need to pursue....
Red how would someone locate such a doctor/lawyer?? are they listed somewhere on the web? or would her GP know?
as you know when in pain and a fuzzy state its hard to think these things thru, I'm sure we've all been there...
good luck Michelle, do a Red suggests and visit on the PAIN COMMUNITY where there is alot of help and info re: pain!!!!!
how are you doing?...have you made any headway towards finding a doctor and getting an appointment?
what abt the doctor/lawyer did you have any success in finding someone like that in you're area?
I'm sorry I'm so full of questions, mainly just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing and I so hope you have been able to locate some help for yourself?
all the best pls update us all.
This is long. I'm sorry. But, I'm so grateful that someone, anyone is listening. Just knowing that Somebody knows what I'm going through... helps me. Thank you so much.
I live in a small town, there are no lawyer Dr's here. I can't drive to a big city where they are. I wish I had access to the professionals you are suggesting. Thank you so much, I didn't even know a an Attorney Physician existed! To make an appointment with a Dr who is not in my town takes a HUGE effort of coordination and I can seldom get my kids to even get me food when I'm starving, so giving me a whole day to drive me to an appointment in one of the big cities here in Ok, is something they don't have time for. I've been sick a whole year this month.. they've always avoided and denied that I was sick. I have no one to help me... till I get strong enough to walk into an office and say.. look at me, I need help !
I saw my General Practice Dr. Yesterday. I asked her why all the Neurosurgeons her office had made appointments for me to see.. had refused to see me, and why I'd been lied to and literally "Walked out-escorted out of the one Neurosurgeon's office with no explanation. She said she didn't know, that none of the Dr's had contacted her or left anything in my chart.
I asked her how the letter that was given to me by the Nurse could have been in my file (with the Dr that had me 'escorted me' out of his office), but not in the file that she had. She said that every Dr. had their own file on their patients. She asked me if I had signed a medical release form at that Dr.s office. I told her I hadn't. I asked her again how it could be addressed to her and obviously other Dr's seem to have it but she didn't get it. She said she didn't know.
She read to me everything any Dr. wrote to her. There were just two Dr.s that wrote to her. One was the Dr. who made the Diagnosis but hadn't sent her the letter, and his contact with her was from my visit with him months earlier and he wanted to do a discogram at that time. The other was from the Dr. I'd seen in July that said I had arthritis and frozen shoulder, there was no reason for my level of pain and simple aspirin should take care of the pain.(only in medical terms) My GP. Dr said that she did not agree with his diagnosis. He also recommended physical therapy. She asked me if I wanted physical therapy. I told her that I agreed with her, in that I also felt that what ever was wrong with my left arm and shoulder was obviously not frozen shoulder and was related to my neck. But, I felt that doing physical therapy when we didn't know what was wrong with my neck might damage me more, and asked her.. Don't you? She agreed, but at the same time, she would have sent me for physical therapy too. So.. I'm confused. If she felt that physical therapy could help me, she would have said so instead of agreeing with me. Hopefully.
Anyway.. back to my Dr.... I asked my Dr again.... "What can I do to heal?"
She said, Do what you can to heal at home.
I asked her if there was anything I could do to help me heal and she said there were tests I needed to take but the only people who could order those tests are Neurosurgeons. I asked her how I could get those tests when no Neurosurgeon would see me. She just looked at me with a sick look on her face.
The good news is, ... My GP Dr was surprised to see how much better I was than the last time she'd seen me. I needed help to walk when I saw her in June and I weighed under 100 lbs with my boots off.. haha. I looked like I was at deaths door. Now, I can walk without help, and I weigh 104 lbs with my boots off.. ;-) and am looking and talking more like myself. I bought a Tetor bed last month, it's helping. I also told her that people have been praying for me. I know these two things have made a huge difference in my life. ( I didn't even know people were praying for me until after I my pain level started dropping for the first time ever... and THEN I found out that a whole bunch of people who listen to my music... were praying for me! )
I feel like I"m in a catch 22. I need tests to find out the best course of action to heal, but the people who give the tests won't see me. Why? It is a medical mystery..!! Obviously one that is supposed to stay hidden forever. Not even my Dr. knows!
So.. how do I get my charts from these Dr's? I want to see what is in my charts. How do I request my charts, just call up their office? Would they send them to me? Or, Do I ask my GP Dr to get my charts from the Dr's office so we can find out what's going on?
Thank you for listening to me, having someone, anyone to listen to me, and your care, kindness has meant more to me than words can say. I know what I've written is long.. wordy, and probably repetitive.. Thank you for giving me this outlet. It's helped me.
I've come to this board.. it's given me support, care, kindness.. Understanding. The first I've had. God bless you for this. It's taken me a year, but I am getting better. I will get better, I am getting better. My Mantra.
Have you tried a spine specialist? I'm sure you probably have, but I can't believe that a doctor who looks at your MRI's would just dismiss you.
I have chronic pain and also 3 herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging one in the lower back and autoimmune disease. I know what it is to live this way, and I don't even have pain medication. I'm sure your pain is much more severe, but that's even more reason to find someone, somewhere who will believe you. Maybe take your husband or a friend or relative to back you up when you go.
Also, you can try going to a new doctor without taking any records from other doctors, not even the MRI's, just to see if they listen. Just a thought...
I'm thinking--maybe a rheumatologist or an orthopedist?
I wish there was another reason... some other reason for what I have. The letter that was never sent to my GP Dr, but was somehow in my file and was given to me by a nurse, was obviously the reason I was escorted out of the Neurosurgeons office said that I had damage to new discs from C7 through C4. Damage that somehow suddenly showed up after the catheter from just above my bra line to the top of my neck for the nerve block. The nerve block was supposed to be done by direct injection for bulging and herniated discs C1 through C3. The Dr. decided to do it this way after I was out. Had I known I would have said no.
I don't understand why my GP Dr. never got the letter, or why the letter was in my file and yet she never got it! How can that happen? Can a person have two or more medical files? Could the Neurosurgeon that kicked me out of his office have asked the Neurosurgeon who wouldn't see me to send him information that wasn't in my file?
The Chronic intractable pain is caused by damage to nerve roots along my spinal cord. This damage was not there before the catheter was done. But was immediately there afterward. This is why no Dr. will see me.
Right before the procedure with the catheter I was 5 foot 1 3/4 inches tall. Now I am 5 foot tall. I lost 1 1/34 inches in a few minutes.
Anyway, now, every disc in my neck is now herniated/ruptured/bulging, & there is damage to the nerve roots. There's little support/padding between the discs. I must keep my neck in traction all the time or my hands & arms go completly numb.My feet & legs are effected. The sensations&pain are always in my body even in traction...is horrible, beyond explaining. Traction helps A LOT! Moto cross neck braces stacked up on my neck give me mobility, relief & it's Traction! It looks funny, but it is traction!!
The medical world has changed in the USA. Dr's pick and choose their patients. They choose the most money & the easiest and quickest money.
Because I am a walking lawsuit they're afraid to be the first Dr. to touch me after the Dr damaged me, they're afraid they'll be involved in a mal-practice law suit.
I need help and all Dr's are concerned with is money. That is what our whole system is about I'm not going to sue anyone, I just need help!The Dr didn't do this on purpose, no one would do this to anyone on purpose!
No Dr will see me, I totally understand that now. I am dying slowly, but I am not dead yet, I still live.
So, now it is up to me. I am doing everything I can to heal myself. And.. it is working better than nothing. I am making progress. This is so long.. it's more of a vent than anything. But I am doing things that are helping me. I may write another Comment that details the things I am doing... because it is HELPING and if it helps me, it will help others too!
HOWEVER....Without the pain medication I am on, I know I would die. I'd die from stroke or heart attack from the pain, or eventually by my own hand because the pain is beyond enduring. There comes a point when you just can't take it anymore. There is no hope, there is no future except pain, and sometimes giving yourself compassion and mercy IS the right thing to do. But, I am not at that point. I am grateful for the pain medication. I am so grateful for my GP Dr, she is a jewel. I can't say enough good about her. I wouldn't want to do anything that would harm her, either.
I am on the pain patch Fentanyl transdermal system 100mch/h As I understand it, this is the most powerful pain medication anyone can get. Sometimes this is not enough pain medication,but sometimes it is works very well if I don't move too much.
I can't use my arms very much, they stop working, especially my left arm. My fingers work ok most of the time. I can walk around just fine if I don't walk too much.
Before this, I was a musician & an Artist. I used to have concerts around the country, &have a few fans around the world. I have 3 Cd's that still sell. I also had a display of artwork in the Smithsonian Institute in the early 90's. Now, I can't make art, I can't make music.
I've learned a lot about pain. I've learned a lot about family and friends, myself. I've learned a lot about the nature of meditation, prayer and the Creative life force which is responsible for Consciousness/Creation, called God. I've learned a whole lot about life through this experience, and it makes me sad. But I am wiser now than I ever was before.
Without a doubt, I would have died if I hadn't practiced meditation and Silva for 30 years before I had that nerve block. When the pain medication wore off after the procedure and the horrific pain hit me on the drive home, I immediately went into the deepest level of Silva to handle the pain. Then I did TM meditation. I cycled back and forth between the two for 6 months until I could drive myself to my GP Dr. to get help. Silva and TM meditation kept my blood pressure down and my heart rate down. I would have died without doing these two things.
You ask, where was my family and friends through this time? Well, I do have a husband, but he is more of a distant room mate than anything else, he hates me because he blames me for the guilt he feels, blames me for his feeling bad and he punishes me when he feels bad about it.. urgh, and my sons, well, they don't understand that he's like that, they don't even want to know.
In that first month after the procedure I lost 45 lbs. and was starving to death. A friend came to see me... She started bringing me food once a week for a couple of months. Since then, I've asked my husband and sons to get me food. I weigh 100 lbs now, and struggle to get food. I am starving, and need help. It is as if everyone wants me to die so this problem will go away. I'm not dying. I thought I was going to at one time, but I am still alive for some reason. I'm still starving and need help but there is no one to help me so I'm doing what I can to get food and to help my physical situation.
It may seem like life is hell at times, and maybe it is. But we can make our lives better, even if it is in small ways. It really is up to each of us, individually.. not the Dr's, not our friends or family, not our Spouses.. It is up to the individual how the quality of our life is. We're each given a circumstance, a situation to live through. We can find a place of balance within that situation, within that circumstance... Some people can do it quickly and others it takes a while.. and it is ok. Once you find that place of balance you can take a breath and relax for a moment... this moment is bliss. All we really have is ... this moment.
The Dr who wouldn't see me actually is the Dr who saw me twice, made the diagnosis, wrote the letter to my GP Dr, and then would not see me afterward.
He lied to me. He told me he'd do surgery on me in a week, it could happen that quickly he said. He needed the physical MRI's. He had the CD with the MRI's, he had the MRI report. He wanted me to deliver the physical MRI's to his office on Monday and then call him to find out when the surgery would be done and to find out the details. He never returned my calls.
The MRI's had been delivered by my son on Mondy morning as soon as the Dr's office was open. My son is very good looking and single, and all the girls in the office flirted with him and my son said it was like walking into a sharks tank. The girls in the office remembered him with out a doubt.
However, by Wed, when I called again, they said the MRI's had never been delivered, and of course, the Dr was still 'Out'.
This is the Dr who gave the diagnosis of Chronic intractable Pain in April, after viewing the MRI's and reading the MRI report, and after examining me on Friday. He is also the Dr who said I had damage and herniated discs from C7 through C4. He wrote the letter to my GP Dr. that she never received but the Nurse gave to me after I was kicked out of the Neurosurgeons office in late June. The letter was dated the day after he saw me!! So he didn't need the physical MRI's.. that was a ruse a lie.. something to give him time, an excuse. He used the CD with the MRI on it to make the diagnosis and the MRI report. And oh.. he is an associate of the DR who did the damage to me. That's important I think.
I've seen two Neurologists who said I needed immediate surgery but both said they didn't know any neurosurgons. How very strange.
My Dr.'s office has set up appointments for me, and those appointments have been cancelled at the last moment by the Dr's. My Dr. has personally made appointments for me, and it is the same story.
So.. really.. after a while.. you loose hope and trust. I don't trust Dr's anymore, at all. I trust my GP Dr. I know she has an oath to follow which she must uphold.. toward her fellow Dr's. I also know she is doing everything she can to help me. I also know.. I'm a problem she wishes would go away because I am a hopeless case as far as what she can do medically.
It really is up to me now.. and I am doing everything I can to help myself. There is no alternative. I'm still alive, I still think, my mind is still lucid, dispite the odds against me. It is because of the pain medication, Meditation, Silva.. and I know that if I can still think clearly and communicate clearly I can make some sort of positive effect in my reality, my world. Everyone does it all the time whether they are aware of it or not. I just can't move around as much as others. It's going to be ok, and I am making positive changes in my little bubble of reality, my little world. Onward to the day.
they are all very much afraid of getting involved in a law suit. honey if you are able thats exactly what you need to do...gather up all the written evidence you can and see a lawyer....HOLLER loud to anyone who will llisten even if it has to be thru the press.
Also if able could you're GP refer you to someone out of you're city?
Are their any patient advocacy affilliations somewhere in U.S? you need to be heard and you need to let everyone know how you have been treated.......this is awful!!!
Try the EXPERT FORUM on the site...explain it all once again and just see if anyone out there has balls enough to answer you and give you some direction.
You maynot get anywhere suing the surgeon but it will sure give him the message that you are not going to take this...nor should you.
Get a LAWYER...one who specialises in malpractice......
but you still have to keep pursuing a neurosurgeon somewhere!!
As far as you're 'family'..I feel soooo bad for you, everyone seems to have just shut you out for whatever reason....something that originally wasn't you're doing and than onto an incompetant surgeon..
Call you're congressman...Governor even write this all out and send to you're president...make many copies of you're story and let anyone you can think of KNOW.. every one you can and never stop...Doctors have NO right NOT to care for you.
My heart just goes out to you and you're courage
I don't know what else to say ...try posting in the PAIN MANAGMENT FORUM....there is alot of activity there and someone should be able to give you more info that may help you.
God Bless you
Try to decipher them and see what the professionals are charting in your legal medical record. It should give you a lot of insight. If your really trust your PCP she can help you understand what may have gone wrong and what if anything can be done about it.
As far as your family situation goes if you truly are in danger by neglect than you must contact agencies to report abuse, because that is what you are describing, abuse through neglect. We are all worthy and only we can make others treat us as such....or regardless of the physical or emotional pain, remove them or our-self from the situation.
I see no other remedy.
You have friends here. However we are powerless to do any more but listen and support you. In my opinion you must remove yourself from the unhealthy situation you are in. If you choose to seek a legal remedy you should be aware that there are time limits on litigation.
You may have to leave the area or even the state to obtain medical care. Is your PCP not referring you or providing you with answers? My PCP picks up the phone and speaks directly to any specialist that I am referred. You may request that your PCP do that also.
Best of luck to you. Continue to have faith, courage and determination and if you haven't done so already, learn how to be assertive in your health care.. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Best of luck to you.
Peace,
Tuck
I agree with Sandee. You MUST get a copy of your Medical Records. There is someting in there that is turning Dr's away. After you retrieve them...contact a lawyer asap.
Sandee is right when she says that we are powerless. You need to be your own advocate and fast. You need a NEW network of Doctors..even a new GP. Doctors that have a fresh view of the situation. I urge you to do this. I know it will help.
Please take care and if you need a shoulder and would like to talk about your pain then go to:
" The Pain Managemant Forum" here at MedHelp. We all understand the pain. Most of us are chronic Pain sufferers as well.
Mollyrae
I would say that your situation pain-wise and discomfort-wise is worse than me. Therefore, it is worthwhile attempting to get past whatever the roadblock is with the doctors. Get hold of your medical records first, and make a timeline of important events for later reference - that will help to keep your story consistent when talking with new doctors; it is so easy to forget something in the rush of an appointment.
Make sure that you keep your physical copies of any scans, especially MRI which tend to be the most informative for a doctor. While you are doing this, try to find a new doctor and refrain from telling them about your previous doctor troubles unless asked. Remember, you are trying to build a new relationship of trust with a new doctor, and hitting them with your history of previous doctor trouble might get them offside, at least initially. Keep the focus on the health problem and away from health system problems, that would be my suggestion.
Off topic a bit: it sounds to me like your fitness has decreased below normal, which is not uncommon among chronic pain sufferers. Catch-22 is that the muscles need a minimum of exercise in order to maintain condition and bulk, yet those same muscles either cause pain or are in proximity to the pain. Wearing a neck brace too much of the time will decondition the neck muscles. They need to be strong to prevent further compression of the neck (cervical spine). Once you have found a doctor, see if they can organise a program of mild exercise to help get out of the Catch-22 situation. Perhaps hydrotherapy might assist in regaining some strength without weight-bearing.
Finally, strong opiates aren't the only medications available for chronic pain. If you feel up to it at some point, it may be worth trying out some other options like anticonvulsants such as lyrica (pregabalin), neurotin (gabapentin), or tegretol (carbameprazine I think), or some antidepressants like endep (amitriptyline, a tri-cyclic), effexor (venlafaxine, a NSRI), or prozac. All of these act upon the central nervous system, and all of them have some success at reducing the levels of chronic pain. The reason I suggest them is precisely because they aren't opiates - if you find one that works well with you then you won't have the drama of dealing with opiates and the whole "drug addict" reaction that opiates seem to invoke in people, including doctors unfortunately. A secondary benefit is that depression tends to hit people who are grappling with chronic pain (and with people's reactions to that). If you feel that is the case for you, an antidepressant may help on both counts.
Good luck,
OtisDaMan
I called lawyers in July. From that I learned I need to go into their offices so they can see me or they don't take me seriously. I'm not strong enough yet to get to a lawyers office and talk clearly too. One of the places I called referred me to their investigator. Since I wasn't interested in suing but was interested in getting Medical help, the investigator told me to go to the University hospital.
The University hospital is an hour and a half drive from where I live. My GP Dr made a quick appointment and I went. I knew it was taking a chance because the Dr's there are young and learning, the hospital doesn't have the best reputation. But, it was hope and I'd see a Dr.
The young Dr told me I had arthritis and simple aspirin should take care of the pain. He told me to exercise and ignored me when I told him about my arms. I asked him about my left arm and he said I had frozen shoulder. Even I know I don't have frozen shoulder. He never touched me or examined me in any way. I asked him if the letter from the Neurologist to my GP Dr. was in my file and he said, "What letter".. I told him about the letter the Nurse gave me and that it said I had damage to the discs and CIP and he looked at me like I was crazy. Then he talked down to me in a taunting manner.
I have to wonder if he had my latest MRI's or if someone took them out or didn't put them back into my file?? I'm not sure who to trust anymore!!!
It was a horrible experience and I was in horrific pain for the next week and a half because of the trip. I think I learned my lesson about Dr's.
While I was there I signed papers so that I'd get his medical report sent to me. It was supposed to have been sent in two weeks. It's been almost a month and a half and have not received it.
I can not force a Dr. to see me. I know that. Eventually I'm going to have to walk into a lawyers office so they can help me, and before I do that I have to be strong enough to do it. I hate to have to get a lawyer just to get medical help. It's probably the only way. I"m also Cherokee, I have thought about going to the Cherokee hospital at the other side of the state... but that will take months of living there. I don't know how I can do that. But it's Federal. It's also a learning hospital. It's not the same system as what is out here in the free market.
I'm on an anti-depressant, but truthfully, who wouldn't be depressed in my situation? It is also supposed to help numb the nerve endings my Dr. said. I also take the highest amount of gabepintin made. And topamax along with the pain patch. Sometimes it's still not enough pain medication. I live in a small town, so I don't have options for Dr's. I think at the moment, I'm at that tip of the needle.. balance.. If I don't move to much and I get enough food I can endure the level of pain I'm in and seem to be sleeping a lot now. I think that must be good.
And the pain patch.. Oh god.. it's the only reason I'm still alive now, it's the only reason I can think and type! I can't go back to what it was before.. I can't go through that pain again.. it was marathon of constant meditation and will to alleviate the horror of unimaginable pain, and I can not believe I lived through it... I don't ever want to go through that again.
I don't wear a medical neck brace, they are awful!! But I have bought moto cross padded neck braces and have stacked them up to hold my head and it gives me mobility around the house. It's like traction in a way. Otherwise my arms and hands go completely numb after a while and the pain is unexplainable even with this pain patch. It is terrifying to loose sensation in your arms and hands. I even sleep with these things on my neck.. someday I hope to be able to lay down again. I have slept sitting up since I had that procedure done a year ago in September. My neck hurts horribly when I lay down flat on a bed so I sleep sitting up in a chair. Not fun, but, it's the only way.
I'm complaining. I'm sorry.. I am in a horrid situation, I don't know what to do to get out of this and I think the people on this board are the only people who have tried to help. My GP Dr.. but her hands are tied. I appreciate your suggestions. I"ve written down a bunch of things and will investigate and ask my Dr.. I've got to do something.. I am better than I was a few months ago.. Bless you all BLESS YOU You've given me options to work with.. THANK YOU I'll keep you updated. I will make a Dr.s appointment next week and see what can be done. Thank you
May we all find health and healing. Bless you all!
Michelle
You can vent all the time. LOL
You mentioned the Cherokee hospital the other side of the state and there being a teaching hospital there, is there any possibility of you moving there, would there be someone you could live with for a lengthy stay and get some help where they won't refuse you?..sounds like a good option IF its possible.
Also you mentioned lawyers and not really wanting to sue
but I think its like Red told you, you need the lawyer/doctor who will work for you to get you're medical records and proper medical care.
If its possible to find someone like that Michelle it sounds like what you need to pursue....
Red how would someone locate such a doctor/lawyer?? are they listed somewhere on the web? or would her GP know?
as you know when in pain and a fuzzy state its hard to think these things thru, I'm sure we've all been there...
good luck Michelle, do a Red suggests and visit on the PAIN COMMUNITY where there is alot of help and info re: pain!!!!!
what abt the doctor/lawyer did you have any success in finding someone like that in you're area?
I'm sorry I'm so full of questions, mainly just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing and I so hope you have been able to locate some help for yourself?
all the best pls update us all.
I live in a small town, there are no lawyer Dr's here. I can't drive to a big city where they are. I wish I had access to the professionals you are suggesting. Thank you so much, I didn't even know a an Attorney Physician existed! To make an appointment with a Dr who is not in my town takes a HUGE effort of coordination and I can seldom get my kids to even get me food when I'm starving, so giving me a whole day to drive me to an appointment in one of the big cities here in Ok, is something they don't have time for. I've been sick a whole year this month.. they've always avoided and denied that I was sick. I have no one to help me... till I get strong enough to walk into an office and say.. look at me, I need help !
I saw my General Practice Dr. Yesterday. I asked her why all the Neurosurgeons her office had made appointments for me to see.. had refused to see me, and why I'd been lied to and literally "Walked out-escorted out of the one Neurosurgeon's office with no explanation. She said she didn't know, that none of the Dr's had contacted her or left anything in my chart.
I asked her how the letter that was given to me by the Nurse could have been in my file (with the Dr that had me 'escorted me' out of his office), but not in the file that she had. She said that every Dr. had their own file on their patients. She asked me if I had signed a medical release form at that Dr.s office. I told her I hadn't. I asked her again how it could be addressed to her and obviously other Dr's seem to have it but she didn't get it. She said she didn't know.
She read to me everything any Dr. wrote to her. There were just two Dr.s that wrote to her. One was the Dr. who made the Diagnosis but hadn't sent her the letter, and his contact with her was from my visit with him months earlier and he wanted to do a discogram at that time. The other was from the Dr. I'd seen in July that said I had arthritis and frozen shoulder, there was no reason for my level of pain and simple aspirin should take care of the pain.(only in medical terms) My GP. Dr said that she did not agree with his diagnosis. He also recommended physical therapy. She asked me if I wanted physical therapy. I told her that I agreed with her, in that I also felt that what ever was wrong with my left arm and shoulder was obviously not frozen shoulder and was related to my neck. But, I felt that doing physical therapy when we didn't know what was wrong with my neck might damage me more, and asked her.. Don't you? She agreed, but at the same time, she would have sent me for physical therapy too. So.. I'm confused. If she felt that physical therapy could help me, she would have said so instead of agreeing with me. Hopefully.
Anyway.. back to my Dr.... I asked my Dr again.... "What can I do to heal?"
She said, Do what you can to heal at home.
I asked her if there was anything I could do to help me heal and she said there were tests I needed to take but the only people who could order those tests are Neurosurgeons. I asked her how I could get those tests when no Neurosurgeon would see me. She just looked at me with a sick look on her face.
The good news is, ... My GP Dr was surprised to see how much better I was than the last time she'd seen me. I needed help to walk when I saw her in June and I weighed under 100 lbs with my boots off.. haha. I looked like I was at deaths door. Now, I can walk without help, and I weigh 104 lbs with my boots off.. ;-) and am looking and talking more like myself. I bought a Tetor bed last month, it's helping. I also told her that people have been praying for me. I know these two things have made a huge difference in my life. ( I didn't even know people were praying for me until after I my pain level started dropping for the first time ever... and THEN I found out that a whole bunch of people who listen to my music... were praying for me! )
I feel like I"m in a catch 22. I need tests to find out the best course of action to heal, but the people who give the tests won't see me. Why? It is a medical mystery..!! Obviously one that is supposed to stay hidden forever. Not even my Dr. knows!
So.. how do I get my charts from these Dr's? I want to see what is in my charts. How do I request my charts, just call up their office? Would they send them to me? Or, Do I ask my GP Dr to get my charts from the Dr's office so we can find out what's going on?
Thank you for listening to me, having someone, anyone to listen to me, and your care, kindness has meant more to me than words can say. I know what I've written is long.. wordy, and probably repetitive.. Thank you for giving me this outlet. It's helped me.
I've come to this board.. it's given me support, care, kindness.. Understanding. The first I've had. God bless you for this. It's taken me a year, but I am getting better. I will get better, I am getting better. My Mantra.
Thank you for listening, I wish I could hug you.
Michelle